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Connections - 8/9/2012 9:50:50 AM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		Has anyone had the experience of a link between a Dom or Domme and slave or sub where when you are apart and the other (slave or sub) is in stress be it anger, hurting, lonely or just wants to be close, You Dom or Domme can feel them?

Tuesday the 7th i was really stressed out and just started thinking Master I really need you, but what i got was my first master from when i was like 20. I remember we had that strong bond but when we went our seperate ways i never gave it a thought. I got drunk that night told my Current Master he took it the wrong way and I got punished (there were more reasons for the punishment then this one thing).

After my punishment and session I tried to explained and he still didn't take it well.
Needless to say I have to work on a stronger connection to him which i truely want because he gives me so much that i need.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 10:36:00 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like you haven't moved on from your past relationship so of course he's upset over it. You're so stuck on the past that you can't move forward with your current Dom.

If I were you, I'd cut all contact with your past Dom and focus on your current one.....
Or, leave your current Dom and go back to your previous one.

Don't make them have to fight or choose over you.
It won't turn out well for any of you.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 10:55:00 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You got punished for not feeling close to him. Did this help you feel closer? If not, what do you need in order to feel more connected? Figure it out and tell him.

And stop drinking if you can't just have a drink without going on to get drunk.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:04:34 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You got punished for not feeling close to him. Did this help you feel closer? If not, what do you need in order to feel more connected? Figure it out and tell him.



I'm with Des on this one.

Also I don't get this line:
quote:

ORIGINAL: ironpalmsnewkitt


Tuesday the 7th i was really stressed out and just started thinking Master I really need you, but what i got was my first master from when i was like 20.

Did you contact your old Dom, did he contact you? Was there any contact at all?



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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:28:36 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ironpalmsnewkitt
Tuesday the 7th i was really stressed out and just started thinking Master I really need you, but what i got was my first master from when i was like 20.

I'm going to assume that what you meant by "what I got" was that the thoughts which popped into your head at that moment were, for whatever reasons, about some guy you knew 20 years ago?

If so, I'm astonished that this caused even a temporary hiccup. I mean seriously... just how insecure is your current master? Carol has known some men before me. Personally, I'm quite pleased that they were generally good, decent, stand-up human beings. If her thoughts returned to one of them in a moment of stress I'd be pleased.

If I wanted to be more "important" in your eyes then I'd be working on my own worthiness not punishing you into worthlessness.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ironpalmsnewkitt)
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RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:34:20 AM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		I haven't seen my first Master for close to 20 years. I wasn't trying to connect to him I was just stressed out and needed some reassurance not to mention I don't even know if my first is still in chicago and i am in detroit.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:38:32 AM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		Actually it did give me that break thru that I needed and him to if what he said afterwards was any clue. This weekend we will Session and after discuss a few things so. will update my journal.

Yeah I don't drink much and all I wanted was to relax but when he called i just said all the wrong things

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:40:26 AM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		No disrespect but like i told my Current Master I didn't call him or talk to him or See him. It was a feeling that said to my soul calm down it will be ok breather and work thru it.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:40:36 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		So, you were punished for thinking about someone other than your dominant.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ironpalmsnewkitt)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 11:44:38 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I got drunk that night told my Current Master he took it the wrong way and I got punished (there were more reasons for the punishment then this one thing).


Without the context of:

1. the additional reasons
2. the actual punishment (and was it a punishment or funishment)
3. the nature of the relationship with your current Master

I don't have enough information to comment.

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(in reply to ironpalmsnewkitt)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:11:52 PM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		More or less it is complicated but if you are really connected to someone you sometime remember what they would say or it 's like they are talking to you and they are no where around.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:15:12 PM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		the other reasons are he felt i was being rude in the way i talked to him.
No funishment it was strictly punishment and a lesson to be taught and learned.
The nature of our relationship is Master/slave we live seperately and he is married but allowed to keep a slave since his wife is not into D/s.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:16:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Now see....to me that would mean for me that I was not over that relationship since when I have a problem I tend to think of my current partner and what he would do and how he could help and such.

If you told me that you were thinking about your former guy and what he would do, it would be a sign that you have not moved on and I would be hurt that obviously I don't play that big a role in your life except some sex and fun.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ironpalmsnewkitt)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:22:10 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The nature of our relationship is Master/slave we live separately and he is married but allowed to keep a slave since his wife is not into D/s.



Interesting phrasing.

Personally, and this is just me (About here I should mention that I really don't get the concept of jealousy one whit-it's just such a pointless emotion. I understand neither the how nor the why), I couldn't care less if any of my gals was thinking bout an old dom.
Why would I?
She's with me now. That's all I do care about.
Frankly, if she was thinking bout an old one, I'd genuinely hope she was having happy thoughts bout/for him. Hell, why not? I'd want her to be happy and remembering good times and positive things.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:32:37 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		So what you are saying is, you got punished for a thought crime?

This thread would have been so much more interesting if, during a time of distress and you were thinking "Master, I really need you" and the prior Master had *actually* called or contacted you out of the blue. Not just because you were thinking of someone who was available to you in the past when there was a problem. I get the feeling the current "Master" isn't especially in that position. Why didn't you call the current Master when you needed him? Had that been Me, I'd have been ticked that My boy *hadn't* called Me when he knows I am always available for him. Are you quite sure that wasn't the reason that you were punished? Because you didn't bring him your problems when you have been instructed to do so?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 12:36:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		This is why I have Island of Misfit Toys as my location.

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 1:07:43 PM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		I was thinking of him but I wasn't using the specific of his Name I used Master. That is how the wires got crossed and he and I are not connected enough for me to know how he would react to any situation.

We are now working on that after this event and I will never think in generalities again I will think specificly of him.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 1:09:52 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		This gives new meaning to the term "thought police".

I certainly would not be this upset over a married guy.

(in reply to ironpalmsnewkitt)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 1:11:22 PM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		I was not thinking of my former Master of over 20 years ago I was thinking I needed my Master.
My former First Master and I were very very connected I lived with him and he taught me Martial arts, Yoga, and Tai Chi. We did what was called shadowing each other. He knew my moods and what i was thinking before I said it.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Connections - 8/9/2012 1:14:47 PM   
ironpalmsnewkitt


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline 		He is not alway available and I had texted him begging him to call me.
He say from now on I am to hold it together and wait until he gets to me be it by phone or text.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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