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Aswad -> RE: A mature submissive? (8/17/2012 6:50:02 PM)
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ORIGINAL: lamale
I've been scanning these forums for a while, and it's been quite some time since I read as much bullshit as I have in this thread.
I think this post may be where the thread took a turn for the worse.
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OP, in case you haven't yet figured it out, getting opinions from some of the women on this site who are in relationships is utterly worthless.
This didn't technically point fingers, but could easily be read as doing so.
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And in a counter-intuitive twist, the longer they've been here, the more posts they have, the less tolerant they are of any opinions but their own.
What's counter-intuitive about this?
In my experience, this is how most human social interaction arenas work, and I was pleasantly surprised to find this place more civilized than most of the net when I came here. Now, for all I know, you may be the hottest thing since sliced bread, the sharpest scalpel in the drawer and rich enough to make Monsanto blush, to name but a few qualities that might normally count in your favor with the ladies. Right here on this board, however, it is your posting history and the contents of your posts that will determine what people's reactions will be, as well as their past experiences.
This means if your behavior resembles a type of poster that has been a recurring pain in the ass, the responses will be based on an assumption that you'll turn out to be one, too. If, on the other hand, your behavior resembles a type of poster that tends to become a valued member of the community, you'll get a different response. This, too, is an entirely normal pattern of behavior. Why you would assume people here would be dramatically different from the rest of the species is somewhat unclear to me.
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They've seen it all, and have no problem diagnosing what's wrong with you, even if you didn't ask for or want that.
If he's asking for feedback, he's going to get a grab-bag of it, and everyone's going to have their own take on what's what.
If he's saying he has a problem, people are going to theorize about what it is, and if his problem involves a whole group of people, it's likely the various hypotheses will revolve around how he relates to the group, rather than what characteristics the group might have. Empirically, it is a sound assumption than someone perceiving a problem with a group is failing to perceive something about themselves that generates the unfavorable interaction with the group in question, and misattributing the problem to the group. This isn't always the case, but with solid evidence that it's a common flaw in humans, it's a good starting point if you don't know some person. Of course, it's also to be expected that anyone in the group in question will be doubly inclined to look for problems with the individual, rather than the group, for the exact same reason.
I fail to see where a criticism can be levelled here that doesn't apply equally to most of humanity.
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They are, for the most part, jaded, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, dismissive and mean.
Hey, this sounds like me.
Not that I'm implying the OP is doing anything wrong, but it does strike me as somewhat of a potentially harsh learning experience to bring a thin skin to a place that has a major population of people who get their jollies making people cry and scream for hours on end.
Just saying.
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Their opinion is everything, and if you dare to disagree, they attack in numbers. You can feel the smugness dripping off the page. They also adore complimenting each other as they savage the newer people. It's like sticking your arm into a tank of starving piranhas.
This sounds a lot like the Internet, except with a lot of positive behavior thrown in.
It happens. It doesn't happen as often as I've seen elsewhere.
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Feel free to look for what arouses you and reject that which doesn't.
Given the wide array of things I've discussed on here, I would say it shows more than a little tolerance that people even speak to me anymore.
I happen to like women of all physically mature ages. I don't like them for their maturity or youth. I like them for the qualities they have. Now, if I were going to plastinate them and stick them in a display case, or hang their head on the wall, I might want to stay in the physical prime range. But I'm out to live with them, occasionally fucking their brains out or making them cry me a river in as literal a fashion as I can manage. That means I need to focus on what they bring to the table as persons. Making me hard is, now that junior is back on the team, as simple as the right body language at the right time. And I don't care if you're eighteen or eighty if the first thing out of your mouth when I wake up is "you know that thing we talked about yesterday...?"
The hard part is the stuff that makes the chemistry work.
It doesn't matter if you're an olympic athlete and top model both, if the phrase "bratty princess" touches your lips without a sneer, it better be part of an apology or an invitation to reformat your brain, else this isn't going to work. Conversely, "I just showed my daughter how to do elliptic cryptanalysis" is going to make me put down whatever I'm doing and listen attentively until the wide grin starts bugging you enough to ask what I'm thinking. Similarly, "that mind control thing is working, Sir, I can't say any words containing a sound twixt D and F without climaxing now." will be quite enamoring.
That's the stuff the OP needs to focus on: what he actually wants.
If it's age he wants, he should say he's got an age fetish. It's not uncommon. He'll find someone. But since he's going to compete with others, he'll have to then focus on what he can offer them in return for indulging his fetish. Because chances are the women here aren't looking to fetishize their age, for the most part, but rather want to find a partner that is interested in all of them as a person. Submissive women are usually very accomodating if they know you value their entire being.
How about offering the OP advice on that instead of lashing out at posters here?
More to the point... address the lashing-out when it happens, not when you're answering a different topic?
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I'm approached on occasion by younger women who are forthright about wanting an older Daddy to play with, and for some reason, instead of feeling offended, being wanted by a hardbody half my age makes my dick instantly hard. Imagine that.
Everyone likes to be appreciated or desired. Never met a woman that didn't. Nor a man.
The question is what is appreciated or desired. Even men rarely like it when only one side of them is appreciated or desired, and the rest is casually ignored. That's how it will be seen if he focuses on age instead of what you mention next:
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Approaching an older woman with "You are lovely, and I would really enjoy playing with someone who has their act together and embraces their femininity they way you do" can work wonders. You don't have to mention age, which apparently makes the older women on the forums clench up. Your interest will be obvious.
This could have been your whole post, and it would have been great.
I would have complimented you, and there would be no dripping smugness to wipe up.
IWYW,
— Aswad.
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