RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity?

RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (Full Version)

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PlayWithMe911 -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 11:48:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Let me amend that, please. She needs to can her profile, the user name sucks. Yes ma'am!

GreedyTop -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 11:48:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: it's harder for a slave to lose her Master than a Master to lose a slave. Men are human with emotions as well. Why would their heartbreak be anything less?????? Bah-Get rid of that sob sister sissy you're with and head on out with a One Twue Dom (Patent Pending) and you'll discover differently [:)] GET THEE BEHIND US, SATAN(pending)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kana -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 11:53:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: it's harder for a slave to lose her Master than a Master to lose a slave. Men are human with emotions as well. Why would their heartbreak be anything less?????? Bah-Get rid of that sob sister sissy you're with and head on out with a One Twue Dom (Patent Pending) and you'll discover differently [:)] GET THEE BEHIND US, SATAN(pending)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rubs palms together vigorously. This is gonna be fun. Fine by me gal. Since you asked and all- get up on tipppie-toes, keep that nose pressing the wall, don't mind these alligator nipple clamps or the garrotte, and spread those ass cheeks wide cuz its Satan Sodomy Time. Hot sex indeed!

Kat713 -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 11:57:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt You know, your user name "playwithme911" does not suggest that you are looking for long term or exclusivity. It suggests you are looking for a fast beat in the ER. I'd think about that. I don't think there is anything wrong with her username or that it suggests anything other than her being playful. Of course with many usernames, they do tend to advertise a bit of the user's desires, but I think that doesn't mean they are looking for a certain type of relationship.(Unless it was like "WantToBeCuckold" or "IHateMonogamy"). And even still, looking at the profile is the key to figuring out what a particular user is after. She specifically said in her profile that she was looking for LONG TERM, and that is what potential Doms or whoever should be paying attention to. A username is just a username. Now if I had a username like: "ILoveRacePlay_MakeMePickCotton89", and nothing to suggest otherwise in my profile, I could definitely understand why some people might be messaging me with derogatory names.(actually they do that sometimes anyway :/) But other than something like that, a username is just that... It's just a bit of a mask to hide your real name. I think that in general, people think of them on the spot and choose them for themselves(I just wanted something cute and simple), not "if I make this my username, will people think I'm a whore and not worth exclusivity?" So I don't really agree with that part of your post, to be honest. As for the situation, it's as a lot of folks said: Every relationship is different, and you have the right to be in the kind of relationship YOU want to be in. It sounds like this guy was being very deceptive and just plain irritating. You're good to be rid of him. Keep your head up and your eyes peeled- your perfect MONOGAMOUS Dom could be just around the corner! :)

PlayWithMe911 -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:04:12 PM)
I am about to hide the old profile and create a new one, but just for the record, Here's the fist line and last line of my profile. "For me, sexual compatibility is an important part of a long term relationship. So, I'm hoping this site has some serious minded men who want the same things I do." "Since I'm looking for something long term, please don't contact me if you're attached to someone else."

GreedyTop -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:05:47 PM)
quote: spread those ass cheeks wide \\yeah, ok., I'm good with that! cat sleepoing across my arms.. typingsuucks...

sexyred1 -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:06:29 PM)
That sounds fine, and my profile says similar things. Just don't expect everyone to listen. They will try and change your mind. I always say, what part of me wanting a single only man do you not understand? And then they apologize and say, sorry to have offended you but I really had to take a shot.

GreedyTop -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:07:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayWithMe911 I am about to hide the old profile and create a new one, but just for the record, Here's the fist line and last line of my profile. "For me, sexual compatibility is an important part of a long term relationship. So, I'm hoping this site has some serious minded men who want the same things I do." "Since I'm looking for something long term, please don't contact me if you're attached to someone else." I think this is awesome! Include, IMO! But yeah, different ID :) FInd something that speaks to you as YOU!!

wittynamehere -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:11:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayWithMe911 As a slave/sub, do I have a right to demand exclusivity? Like every other person in existence, you have whatever rights you choose to have, and no more. Rights are not automatic, as much as some people like to think they are. You have to claim them, and then protect them. So if you want exclusivity, find somebody who is exclusive. You don't automatically gain (or lose) rights by claiming a title such as dominant, submissive, slave, master, owner, pet, etc. Rights are independent of labels.

LadyPact -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:15:30 PM)
Using fast reply. Mine don't. Even if I only currently have on s-type, I make no bones about them knowing that who I play with is completely up to My discretion. They don't hold that power over Me. Kind of something a person should know when they engage.

JeffBC -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt It's the first thing the diminants say when they are caught cheating "I'm poly." well ok... But I'm done playing nice on this particular issue. Look, I get it that BDSM redefines words like "rights", "honor", "integrity", and "trust" and pretty much the whole english language. I don't care. If you have crappy "honor detectors" and get baffled by the bullshit then you're screwed... in a bad way. I say let the BDSM dom use whatever BDSM babble he wants. If some "slave's" pussy is so wet that she can't see straight then who am I to argue? We all agree the guys an honorless asshole (assuming, of course, the story is as presented... the "honorless" thing doesn't just apply to men). But I'm calling a spade a spade sans all the BDSM pseudo-babble.

Kana -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:30:39 PM)
quote: Kind of something a person should know when they engage. Which is the key here. It's not the quasi poly acts, it's the lying about it. Had she known in advance she wouldn't have gone in. And if she had known in advance and still gone in, that would be on her

lizi -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:40:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayWithMe911 I met my first and only Master on this site and before we started. I specifically asked if he had a girlfriend/fiance/wife or seeing someone else. He SWORE he only dates one person at a time. Also, his packed work schedule would prevent him from having more than one, any way. We entered into a Master/sub relationship and after a long time, I was finally collared. Shortly after that, I found evidence on the internet that he was engaged. He claims that they are also old sites, that she is an old ex ad he never proposed. However, all the sites I found have recent timestamps and one had her confirming they were getting married. Aside from the hurt this has caused me, I need to know what is the norm in the BDSM world about exclusivity. As a slave/sub, do I have a right to demand exclusivity? Or do I have to accept that this is the norm and the Master can have as many women/girlfriends/slaves in his life as he wants? If that's the case, maybe the BDSM life is not meant for me and I should leave this world completely. Or should I stick it out and find a better Master? Thanks for any advice. You have the right to choose someone according to whatever you like. BDSM doesn't mean you have to follow a pre-prescribed route, or that you have to accept things that you do not want. It's like anything else in life, you are allowed to keep and pursue your preferences while taking responsibility to make sure they are fulfilled. There aren't any rules here except for the one that says to make sure things are to your liking before engaging in them. If you are lied to, that's different, and it's never something someone sees coming. It's definitely a good reason to walk away, but why throw the baby out with the bathwater and assume that every man into BDSM will be a liar, therefore you should give up the whole thing? I am in a D/s relationship, I am monogamous. If he lied to me about being monogamous and slept around I would move on. I make no excuses for wanting what I want and it's a deal breaker for me to be with someone who has physical contact with another person or is emotionally attached to them, and lies about it. That's who I am, I make that clear, if someone I was interested in didn't find that fits with them then they are free to move on from being with me.

PlayWithMe911 -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 12:44:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC assuming, of course, the story is as presented... You don't have to believe anything I say. Just pull me out of it then, and lets just discuss the original topic of expectations, norms and rights in a D/s relationship. Since it's over, I consider my self to be a "survivor" of an unfortunate event. The "victim" continues to be his fiance who is truly clueless about his activities.

OsideGirl -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 1:01:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi I am in a D/s relationship, I am monogamous. If he lied to me about being monogamous and slept around I would move on. We are in a D/s relationship, we are not monogamous, we have a selectively open relationship. If he lied to me about his actions, I would move on.

littlewonder -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 1:04:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: it's harder for a slave to lose her Master than a Master to lose a slave. Men are human with emotions as well. Why would their heartbreak be anything less?????? Bah-Get rid of that sob sister sissy you're with and head on out with a One Twue Dom (Patent Pending) and you'll discover differently [:)] tries really hard not to laugh but falls to the ground laughing her ass off. [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

JeffBC -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 1:29:09 PM)
nods I wasn't call you a liar PlayWithMe. But there's always the "two sides to every story" part and quite frequently on these boards there's more than a bit of spin on the questions we get. I included the caveat more for general readership than you in particular. You, of course, know exactly how accurate your statements are.

kalikshama -> RE: Does a sub have a right to claim exclusivity? (8/14/2012 2:33:48 PM)
quote: Just don't expect everyone to listen. They will try and change your mind. I always say, what part of me wanting a single only man do you not understand? And then they apologize and say, sorry to have offended you but I really had to take a shot. Oh, yes. Especially when I was in Florida, I got tired of typing "What part of local guys only was unclear?"

Itsalwaysthere -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 2:35:07 PM)
I beg your pardon?

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Does a sub have a right to demand exclusivity? (8/14/2012 2:54:41 PM)
That was you not playing nice? By all means, keep the gloves off in your responses to me, I far prefer it. More than one person told her the real issue is his lying, not the exclusivity, or lack of it, and I agrees. I am sure in time she will understand that better than she does today, b/c she has JUST BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE. In any case, my answer was tailored to a person who was being giving some serious diminant bull shit about what slaves are "allowed," and I replied as such. My feelings went out to her, as I have seen this thing far too often before. I did my best to deal with the expediency of the situation, as opposed to the philosophy.

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