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RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/21/2006 12:13:09 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Is it just me, or does this guy sound very much like the same guy who just a couple weeks ago was loudly proclaiming his love for his much younger "Domme" who hadn't a Domme bone in her body, and was ready to pack up everything and move to be with her because she was "The One?

Gee, I missed that one so it is hard to say. The rest of it though, especially the stalking, harassment, manipulative guilt trips and threats sounds a lot like another maniac on the boards who was recently banned but reappeared wearing a dress.

One good thing about this story is that it has all taken place over transcontinental distances. Pity the poor gals that get involved with that nut locally and get subjected to his craziness face-to-face.

(in reply to Evanesce)

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Post #: 81

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/21/2006 12:20:08 PM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

subnesaa,
Go with your gut feeling.

When my wife and I begin to talk with a submissive who lives a fair distance away we always will set up a meeting with that person, either having them fly or drive to meet us in a public place with no intention of taking them to our home; or we will fly or drive to meet them in their city with us staying at a hotel close by. We always meet for the first time in a public place and then sleep on the decision as to whether we feel they are right for us. We are always very safety conscious for ourselves and the person we are meeting.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to subnesaa)

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Post #: 82

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/22/2006 7:20:57 PM

subnesaa

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/11/2006
From: Vancouver, Canada
Status: offline

Update:

Things are looking a lot better here. I have changed my home phone and cell phone numbers as well as blocking his email address from my computer/accounts. He has still been leaving messages for members of my family who he has tracked down through his own investigation, but since I had previously allerted them to the situation, they are not responding to any of his calls. Further, the RCMP have been very helpful here, as I mentioned in a previous post, this guy was contacted by Interpol, and I have since found out that he was visited at his home by local police officers. The RCMP officer on my case as also contacted immigration and flagged him, should he try to cross the border into Canada. The constable encouraged me to contact the local US police in the city where he lives and let them know about his continued attempts at contact as well as his threats and so I have done this as well. The dectective I spoke to was very helpful and assured me that he would send another officer to his home to give him another warning and then call me back with an update. I am feeling much better about this situation now that both law enforcement agencies are actively involved. I hope I have heard the last from him.

_____________________________

~nesaa

'There are no clear paths. Only pitfalls and tripwires and darkness.' -Robert Jordan

(in reply to wild1cfl)

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Post #: 83

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/22/2006 9:44:56 PM

gardenbluebird

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

i just read the whole thread. That's just scary. i really do hope that is the end of this mess for you.

(in reply to subnesaa)

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Post #: 84

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/22/2006 10:02:25 PM

MasterR001

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline

Long distance relationships usually do not work out.

(in reply to subnesaa)

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Post #: 85

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/22/2006 11:04:23 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

I hope this will end the scarey situation for you. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to MasterR001)

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Post #: 86

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 6/24/2006 3:55:03 AM

Master96

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

Dear subnesaa,

I’m very happy and grateful that you posted your situation on CM, and to took the advices on this thread.

It is great that your situation is stable and safe. I bet you learned a lot from this experience.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: subnesaa
I feel that as a human being in general I have a lot to offer, not only in the way of looks, but also maturity, and culture.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mayapple
You are a human being with your own thoughts and feelings. There is no way in the world that two people, even two highly compatible people, are going to be thinking and feeling the same way at all times. It is not right for you to hide your thoughts and feelings from him. Surely that would not please him either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mystiquenz
The last thing you need to do, is rush into a situation that you are not comfortable with,

Don't be swayed by others opinions too much, but listen to your own guidance. Seek the wisdom of others, and follow what you see as your guiding light.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25
Before anything that serious occurs, you need to meet several times and find out if both of you want to persue the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot
Don't allow "trust"elements of this lifestyle to rule your actions until the trust is earned. Just as you would think it important to protect your ass in any vanilla situation

quote:

ORIGINAL: desertdancer
a Master needs to be aware of your feelings, your joys, your sadness, your health and your emotional state at all times, and in being open and clear with Him, your helping Him to be a better partner to you.
...................
If your gut or tummy is telling you something is not right, then please listen to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

D/s BDSM relationships aren't all that different than vanilla relationships. The difference is that we know more about each other's sexuality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot
Yes, a D/s relationship is built upon trust, you have that part correct. *Built* being the key word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The decision is as much yours as it is his, you aren't challenging HIS decision, you're questioning your own. This is wise.

Do yourself a favor- don't make ANY long term commitments for at least 6 months, to ANYONE.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

If he truly "loves" you, then he should understand your fears, and help you be at ease.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete

3000 mile relationships will not work without a LOT of hard work

quote:

ORIGINAL: missalice

If he's truly an understanding and responsible Dominant, he will hear your concerns and wait for you until you are ready!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamShy

trust is earned
best interest is only from a long term face to face "relationship of some sort"

not a few Months on phone or internet

quote:

ORIGINAL: wildangel3825

but in the end, the harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needtobetold
I am very new at this as well, but I think true submission comes from a place of power. You posses that which he desires which is your control and that is one of the most precious gifts you can give someone. If you are concerned at all and he is not able to understand or allow you to explore these concerns than he does not deserve this incredible gift you have to present to him. If he does not believe that you and your submission are worth the time and effort you need to feel safe and secure with him than you should start looking for another Master.

Those posts helped me a lot as a beginner Dom.
Thank you very much for sharing us your problem.

I hope your problem is ended, I wish you all luck in the future.
Master96,

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

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Post #: 87

RE: Questions about a very new relationship - 7/16/2006 12:44:21 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

What a horrible time you have had, however you have come out without physical harm. However there will be psychological damage as a result of the experience. You may need to seek emotional support from one who knows the lifestyle and you can be completly honest with. It is a trap many have fallen into early in their wander into this life. You are not alone and I would say by posting this here you have probably helped prevent someone else from going through the same thing.

At all times whether it be online or real time remember until you have consented to a committed relationship you have all the rights of anyone else. We were all born with instincts never ignore them, if something doesnt sit right it probably is not. There is nothing wrong with continuing to explore however watch for the red flags and curiosities. Everyone will reveal their true selves at some point, just watch and be aware.

I would suggest even when you have agreed to a committed relationship you still have rights, the right to voice your opinion, the right to be kept safe and secure just to name two.

E verything that has been said in this topic is excellent advice and should be taken by anyone especially when newly venturing into this life.

You have been given the opportunity to connect with someone who is also in your area for support take that offer and use it is my suggestion.

All the best and be well.

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Master96)

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Post #: 88