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RE: New with a question... - 8/24/2012 11:21:37 PM

onceshattered

Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2012
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Thank you culareD for bringing this up. I also had questions about "collaring." *hugs you tightly*

I've actually started to "get out" and meet people, like in a face to face way, which considering my social anxiety is a miracle in itself. I've learned some things about myself that I'm still a bit confused about and I consider myself to still be learning. Thankfully, I haven't had anyone approach me with the idea of a collar yet because truthfully I see the collar in the "kinky-wedding-ring" way and I'm no where near in any way ready for that kind of commitment.

One of the questions that is prevalent on my mind right now is: Are there those that just prefer a more "metaphorical" collar?

I ask this because I personally have a huge huge phobia about having my neck touched or pieces of material touching my neck. Kisses are okay because they're short little things, but like I can't even wear a smaller necklace without having a panic attack. I'm afraid that later, this might be an issue. Maybe I'm just looking ahead too much.

Is not being able to physically wear a collar a deal breaker for some people?

-os

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Post #: 81

RE: New with a question... - 8/24/2012 11:30:43 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

shattered, I've mentioned this once or twice but many havent seen it.

My ex sub worked in a law office. This is NOT a kink friendly environment.

Her 'collar' was a sterling toe ring with my initials in it.

The only WEAL and TWUE place to put a collar is IN the mind rather than ON the neck.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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Post #: 82

RE: New with a question... - 8/24/2012 11:40:07 PM

onceshattered

Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline

thank you Hillwilliam, I think somewhere along the lines I got into my head that this type of "physical" collar around the neck was like..."the thing" to do. However, your situation with your ex does help ease my mind A LOT!

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Post #: 83

RE: New with a question... - 8/25/2012 2:32:06 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

If you do it - so should he!....................

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander...............

The dom can be just as much under consideration as a sub. Infact given the really big gap in the numbers of doms to subs, subs can consider a lot more doms than doms can subs.

THIS! i would expand on this idea - all the follow me shit comes way later, when you're collared.

Cart before the horse. Collaring is a very serious commitment. In my experience, collaring before a relationship has been established does not happen. If someone DOES propose to collar you and you're not even sure if you'd be comfortable submitting to him, run far away.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 84

RE: New with a question... - 8/25/2012 2:35:19 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: onceshattered

thank you Hillwilliam, I think somewhere along the lines I got into my head that this type of "physical" collar around the neck was like..."the thing" to do. However, your situation with your ex does help ease my mind A LOT!

My sub has two collars. One is a leather one she wears at night. The other is a simple necklace that looks vanilla. Anyone proposing to put a ten pound metal locking collar (or anything else ridiculously obvious) on you, is a fantasist.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to onceshattered)

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Post #: 85

RE: New with a question... - 8/25/2012 2:40:11 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

The ex used her garter belt. When that fecker came out I knew I was 'avin' it.

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Post #: 86

RE: New with a question... - 8/25/2012 1:10:35 PM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

Why not tell him that "under consideration" is for (barely believable) real estate ads and not for complicated, sexy, man-woman relationships?

Then laugh him out of the room. If he wants back in for a sniff of the snatch tell him it's......under consideration (indefinitely).

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I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

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Post #: 87

RE: New with a question... - 8/27/2012 6:11:22 AM

culareD

Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceshattered

Thank you culareD for bringing this up. I also had questions about "collaring." *hugs you tightly*

I've actually started to "get out" and meet people, like in a face to face way, which considering my social anxiety is a miracle in itself. I've learned some things about myself that I'm still a bit confused about and I consider myself to still be learning. Thankfully, I haven't had anyone approach me with the idea of a collar yet because truthfully I see the collar in the "kinky-wedding-ring" way and I'm no where near in any way ready for that kind of commitment.

One of the questions that is prevalent on my mind right now is: Are there those that just prefer a more "metaphorical" collar?

I ask this because I personally have a huge huge phobia about having my neck touched or pieces of material touching my neck. Kisses are okay because they're short little things, but like I can't even wear a smaller necklace without having a panic attack. I'm afraid that later, this might be an issue. Maybe I'm just looking ahead too much.

Is not being able to physically wear a collar a deal breaker for some people?

-os

I am thinking that if you get into a D/s relationship, then excellent 2-way communication would be paramount. I don't think I could trust anyone who didn't consider my concerns, OR who didn't voice theirs. If you have a issue with "stuff" around your neck, and your prospective doesn't want to listen or help come up with solutions that work for both of you, I say move on...hope this helps. Hugs back to ya!

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Post #: 88