tolerance among us (Full Version)

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eroticangel -> tolerance among us (6/11/2006 6:53:18 AM)

this post is surely not going to be a favorable one...but i have to say what is on my mind. So many times when i am reading peoples post here, i think that they arae writing from the heart...as i read further i see downright rudeness from some of us to others. about grammar and using spell check and their ideas. this is an open post. sometimes we come here emotional and just start typing. maybe the grammer and spelling i off....SO WHAT! some people post because they need the wisdom and advice some can give them. Our lifestyle is about tolerance...and understanding my kink may not be yours but we keep an open mind. why can't we keep an open mind to someone who may not be the best speller?????



KatyLied -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 6:55:36 AM)

quote:

Our lifestyle is about tolerance.


What gave you that idea?  People talk about it like that, but people in the lifestyle are no more tolerant than people in the general population.  The lifestyle is not special and blessed with highly tolerant people.



eroticangel -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 6:57:06 AM)

i guess i would have to disagree. i think we are more tolerant....more open and more understanding



CrappyDom -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:03:12 AM)

I am tolerant if you want to slit open your consenting partner's arm and use the blood as lubricant for anal sex, if you like fucking men during the week and women on the weekend, if you are a male slave who loves eating shit, or all sorts of other kinks.  I have no tolerance for people who cheat on others, who abuse their trust, who are power tripping assholes, who are making what I believe to be serious relationship errors, or who believe theirs is the "one true way".

And I often let them know in rather unsubtle ways.

As for spelling, guess what?  My spelling is horrible, but I recognize my weakness and have taken steps to take care of it.  I don't attack spelling often, but I have on certain occasions when I felt it appropriate and I will continue to do so.



darkinshadows -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:05:37 AM)

Who practises BDSM?
People.
 
Where do people come from?
The world.
(okok... don't start on me with puppys,kittens birds and bees)
 
Some people are tolerant.  Some are not.  Being a practitioner of BDSM does not make you a more tolerant person.  Just means you have an understanding of your own specific desires.
 
BDSM is a Lifestyle to you.  It isn't to me.  It's what and who I am.
(Geez I feel a new thread coming on)
 
BDSM isn't about tolerence.  BDSM is an acronym.  It isnt BDSMT, or BDTSM... it is BDSM.
Bondage, Discipline, (more recently Domination/submission) Sadism and Masochism.
 
Not tollerance.
 
Fundemental principle?  Consent.
'Nuff said.
 
*and damn my typos and spelling*
 
Peace and Rapture



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:08:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

maybe the grammer and spelling i off....SO WHAT!


I think you meant "and spelling is off" and shouldn't the punctuation mark at the end of "SO WHAT" be a question mark (?) or, at the very least, an info-bang (?!)?  (Yes, inf

*wink*

quote:


Our lifestyle is about tolerance...and understanding my kink may not be yours but we keep an open mind.


You're new pretty new the lifestyle, huh?  While people may say that is what the lifestyle is about, waht it really is about is getting your kink on.  People, just like in the nilla world, do that in different ways, and with different levels of tolerance and different degrees of appreciation for YKINMK, BTOK.

quote:


why can't we keep an open mind to someone who may not be the best speller?????


Because in the online world, how you communicate is how people see you.  Wondering why those who post poorly worded or mis-spelled missives are often ignored or even chastised is like wondering why people would cross the street to avoid someone who hasn't changed their clothes or showered in weeks.  When you present yourself as someone who does not care about the standards set by a particular community, you can not be surprised when you get a negative reaction.

That said, there have been a number of folks on here who have prefaced their early communications with explanations of why their posts might not be perfect (learning disabilities or non-native speakers), and they were (for the most part) welcomed with open arms. 

I am nowhere near perfect in my spelling, and I often make typos, but, in general, my posts are understood (at least for content, if not for meaning *smile*) by those who read them.  If people really can't understand what you are trying to say, you could at least use a spell checker.  I know it is a pain in the ass, but so is showering everyday.

Taggard



Bearlee -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:09:36 AM)

I’m with you on this one, Sir!  I’m one who can’t spell for beans…but I care enough to want to communicate with other adults here; so I write in a word-processor with ‘spell-check’ turned on and then paste my reply here.

I agree with others who have pointed out that people who are lazy with regard to their communication skills are likely lazy in other aspects of their lives, as well.

Bah…I like people who take interest in the things they do; even if the interest is not mine.   (IE:  I’m tolerant of other’s kinks).



eroticangel -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:10:07 AM)

ok.....so it is who i am too. just easier to blanket it by saying lifestyle. and i guess it's just that i thought we were more tolerant of people...or maybe i am just more tolerant. but the bottom line is...do we have to belittle people for their mistakes?



kyraofMists -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:10:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

i guess i would have to disagree. i think we are more tolerant....more open and more understanding


No, we are not.  You just have to read the boards to see that people who participate in BDSM are no more or less tolerant that people who do not participate. 

Knight's kyra



sublizzie -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:11:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

i guess i would have to disagree. i think we are more tolerant....more open and more understanding


In a real-life situation where there are a limited number of people to socialize with, I think that may be true. One person may be disliked by someone, or group of someones, so they stay on opposite sides of the room at munches and gatherings. But on-line there is no face-to-face consequence of saying nit-picky things to other people and disparaging them through a few strokes of the computer keys.

It's even possible that some are coming across as rude when their intention is to educate someone in ways to help that person communicate better. Unfortunately their own communication skills could probably use some brushing up too.

Maybe it's because I'm submissive, but I try to use tact whenever I'm responding to a forum post......or an email on the other side. Or I use the advice I give people on one of the forums I moderate - just don't read or respond to posts you don't like! Some people feel they are obligated to respond to every post out there. It comes as a shock for them to find out they are not.



Bearlee -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:15:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Because in the online world, how you communicate is how people see you.  Wondering why those who post poorly worded or mis-spelled missives are often ignored or even chastised is like wondering why people would cross the street to avoid someone who hasn't changed their clothes or showered in weeks.  When you present yourself as someone who does not care about the standards set by a particular community, you can not be surprised when you get a negative reaction.

That said, there have been a number of folks on here who have prefaced their early communications with explanations of why their posts might not be perfect (learning disabilities or non-native speakers), and they were (for the most part) welcomed with open arms. 


Well said, Sir...   And speaking from experience...people with said disabilities often learn to use tools to aid them with their communication:  WORD PROCESSORS!  (Free and easy to operate).



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:18:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

i guess i would have to disagree. i think we are more tolerant....more open and more understanding


Than who?  Than conservative christians?  Sure.  Than couples involved in the sexual swinging lifestyle?  I would say (based on my own experience), nope.

Taggard



LadiesBladewing -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:18:49 AM)

The only thing that I can say is that BDSM encompasses a HUGE group of people, and in general, they're no more tolerant than the rest of the general population.

As far as the spelling and grammar issue, I don't point it out for people very often, but if a post is too difficult for me to decipher, I won't spend time on it. For me, the more important my question is, the more important it is for me to try to use proper spelling and grammar, so that the people reading it will be able to understand what I am saying. I feel that I will be more likely to get effective answers to my questions if I take the time and effort to make myself understood.

I have a son with severe dyslexia, so I'm not insensitive to the trials of individuals who are struggling with spelling and grammar issues. At the same time, even with my son, I try to remind him to slow down and prepare his texts in a word processing program that allows him to spell-check and grammar-check before sending it out -- only because if it is difficult to read what he has to say, it will be harder to give him a good response (especially for my mate, who -also- is dyslexic!)

Just my few cents,

Da'Avatar ZWD

www.klashaan.org



KatyLied -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:19:22 AM)

quote:

if you like fucking men during the week and women on the weekend


hehe



Level -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:21:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Our lifestyle is about tolerance.


What gave you that idea?  People talk about it like that, but people in the lifestyle are no more tolerant than people in the general population.  The lifestyle is not special and blessed with highly tolerant people.



I agree with Katy on this. I try to be open-minded moreso than tolerant..... but when they took my godhood away from me, I found out that even I could fail.... so, sometimes I chide others for being cruel and sophomoric, and then I see someone type "I cai'nt unnerstnd why noones ansuring my perfile" and I burst into laughter and wonder why they quit school in 3rd grade....
 
I'm a good man and I'm a dick. I help and I hurt. And then I wonder why I'm even here......
 



Bearlee -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:25:25 AM)

 
<~~  is happy he IS here...





smilezz -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:31:30 AM)

I would have to say that i am a pretty open minded individual.  As for tolerance and understanding........that's bullshit.  This "lifestyle" (god that makes me cringe even typing it) is no more tolerant/understanding than any other way a person lives.
As far as my typing wrong words from time to time...personally i could care less who happens to take the time with their mightier than though attitude and call me on it. 

Happy Sunday!

~smilezz~



Brosco -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:31:42 AM)

Living in Australia I can always claim that my typos and spelling mistakes are actually the Australian spelling and that yanks shouldn't be such a pain in the arse to disenfranchise the rest of the world.



bandit25 -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:32:53 AM)

I don't see a lot of posters getting slammed for their spelling/grammar.  I DO see some getting corrected (not slammed) when they misspell in their profiles.  Personally, I see this as helpful.  The only thing you have to make a good impression on someone is your profile.  I've always thought that if one cannot take the time to check spelling, grammar and punctuation, then is that same person going to take the time to make sure I am ok when we are playing?  I don't see this as intolerance...sometimes I honestly have NO CLUE wtf someone is saying.



Level -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:42:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


<~~  is happy he IS here...





*sends a smile and hug her way*
 
I am too........ sometimes.........



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