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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 1:38:18 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		A couple of friends of mine wear bracelets, another has a very vanilla-looking necklace, just as I do.


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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 1:49:58 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Makes total sense, I mean why announce your lifestyle choice to the world?

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:04:15 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I don't come from a long line traceable back to the old guard masters and I came into this lifestyle, relatively late in life (I was 38 years old) but I always kind of looked at collaring as being tantamount to a wedding ceremony and the ensuing relationship to be on equal footing with any marriage.

It could very well be (in my mind) that we will be seeing an uptick in such things with the 50-shades-of-shit phenomenon.

I think a collar is like a wedding ring so, like with many things; I'm of two minds:

Since I was 7 or 8 years old, I have worn one kind of ring or another. I didn't wear a wedding ring much, when I was married because 1) It was a little impracticle and dangerous, based upon my job and the potential for losing the ring and B) If I need to wear a ring to "worn others off" what does that say about my ability to spurn advances on my own?

The other side is the "softy" side (and some of this will apply to collars, as well). The ring, unbroken is a symbol of perpetuity. It suggests that what it is representing has no beginning and no end. It speaks (to me, at least) to the most romantic corners of my heart and mind and serves to perpetuate that love, over and over.

Because I either don't care about collars or care incredibly, depending upon what mood I'm in when you ask me, I am similarly torn regarding the ceremonies.

Certainly, some might say "Who gives a damn" and that's valid especially with the seeming shortness of many relationships.

When I look at the ceremony as being on equal footing with a marriage, I think otherwise.

Why not invite your friends to share in the joy that you're feeling? Why not share that feeling with the people that you care about as a means to give hope and just "warm fuzzy thoughts" to the people that you care about. Why not affirm your feelings for your partner publicly?

I guess it's a matter of personal preference (as with a lot of things). I'm neither bummed nor ecstatic as I have never found any reason/person worth having a ceremony.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 8/22/2012 2:10:42 PM >

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:08:01 PM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

A couple of friends of mine wear bracelets, another has a very vanilla-looking necklace, just as I do.


My last sub wore a sterling toe ring with my initials in it. She worked at a law office which isnt exactly kink friendly.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:08:11 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Now my husband ordered this one, though it hasn't shown up yet. I've known tons of people who wear collars offline, it's not as rare as you'd think. None of the times I've worn a collar, there has been ceremony around it though.





That's really nice! Please send pics when you get it.


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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:08:53 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I have a leather collar. I have an Eternity Collar. I have a wedding ring.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:17:52 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		[EDITED TO ADD BELOW...]

quote:

ORIGINAL: twonearvancouver

I see such a ritual/ceremony/whatever about as legit as 'Gor', which is to say, not at all. Total fluff and meaningless.


That's cool. The idea of a collar doesn't work for you. I'm pretty much the same.

quote:



I think anyone who feels a need to go through these motions or wear/make someone wear some kind of neck device as a complete phoney, and usually trying to prove something to others.


That's pretty fucking uncool. I think that someone who has never met or seen anyone who wore a collar or had someone else do so, either online or off is running a very real and present risk of looking like a jackass when they make pronouncements like this.

quote:


I see marriage as a failure of a relationship to develop properly and a sign the people involved shouldn't be together, so perhaps my opinion isn't exactly commonplace.


No, indeed, your opinion isn't exactly commonplace. Now, while I have to admit a certain admiration for your willingness to think this freely, I think you need run with one up the flag-pole, step into the box and close the flaps.

For pete's sake...

quote:



That said, I've never met or seen anyone who wore a collar or had someone else do so, either online or off.


Quite. Indeed, you don't give the impression of having met anyone who is married, either.

ADDED -

In my haste I forgot an entire paragraph, which I won't try to recreate, but for the avoidance of confusion... Collars are not for me.... but only a tosspot would fail to respect and celebrate the meaning they have in some relationships.

< Message edited by crazyml -- 8/22/2012 2:29:07 PM >

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:22:55 PM   
UllrsIshtar


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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

That's really nice! Please send pics when you get it.



Thx, will do. I really like this one because it's got an actual lock (the diamond in the front is a padlock tilted on it's side) as apposed to being able to be opened by hex tools. I'm a little worried it's going to be uncomfortable for all day wear because of the edges poking up and down, but I also think it's pretty enough to take that risk. If it doesn't' work out we're probably getting this one instead.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:25:07 PM   
OsideGirl


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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Quite. Indeed, you don't give the impression of having met anyone who is married, either.


Thank you ML!


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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:27:41 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

quote:

That said, I've never met or seen anyone who wore a collar or had someone else do so, either online or off


Nice to meet you! I am dia, I wear a collar 24/7 - it is a 4mm locked band.

Now you have ;)

Right on! Nice to meet you. Nice metal thing. Makes me think that if I ever put a collar on somebody, I'd hope it were pure silver. Yummy silver.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Oh bless your heart! Don't know who ditched you, but it's time to get over it and grow up.

Not sure if this is spam or you're just confused, but piss off :)

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:28:56 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock


I LOVE this! With that admonition, though has to come the one where some people get started before the sun is over the yardarm.

I know what it is to be anti-marriage and while I never say "never", I have taken to telling ladies that I just don't ever see myself getting married again. I think marriage, as an institution, has taken such a beating in recent years and has come to mean so little to so many (as evidenced by divorce rates) that people developing a disdain for it is hardly surprising.

It's a shame, though. The romance that it engenders is well lost on many people (myself, included).



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:30:56 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I LOVE this! With that admonition, though has to come the one where some people get started before the sun is over the yardarm.



Thanks, man. Also worth pointing out that it is as much an admonition to myself as it is to anyone else!

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:45:02 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		In the past I had a collared slave- he wore a ring of steel collar 24/7. The only person who ever noticed and asked about it was his primary care doctor who we found out was kink friendly.

My husband wears a silver necklace 24/7 (linked necklace) that has a ID tag on it that has his My initials on it and on the back it says "you are the love of My life".

http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Item.aspx?fromGrid=1&sku=GRP01381&mcat=148204&cid=288222&search_params=s+5-p+3-c+288222-r+101287465+0-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 2:51:32 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		I don't think collaring is disappearing. Public collaring ceremonies seem to have.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 3:14:57 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

The ring, unbroken is a symbol of perpetuity. It suggests that what it is representing has no beginning and no end. It speaks (to me, at least) to the most romantic corners of my heart and mind and serves to perpetuate that love, over and over.


That's really sweet. It reminds me of my rings. We were overseas in the military when we got married and got cheap rings at the base AAFES. For our 10 year anniversary, we bought rights made from tri-color gold cut from the same strands.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 3:34:17 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I went to a collaring ceremony a few months back. There were no roses involved. There was, however, awesome chocolate cake, if I do say so myself.



Cali

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 3:56:13 PM   
marsneedswomen


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		The disappearance of collaring ceremonies maybe a symptom of the end of a subculture. Collaring ceremonies strengthens the culture it represents no different from a church wedding does for their community. If semi-public collaring is in declining where only the two involved are aware, the result may be the end of a community of like minded participants. In a sense, the old school people established rituals with meaning is now being replaced by rituals that mean less and within a community that has less identity. The subculture may be assimilating into the mainstream (not likely) or is falling into a subculture of less hierarchy. This can be either good or bad depending on how one views such matters.

mnw

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 4:08:24 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen
Collaring ceremonies strengthens the culture it represents no different from a church wedding does for their community.


I disagree. The number of velcro collar, constant break ups and immediately getting collared to someone else cheapened it down to something trite.

I'll also add that prior to the existence of Castlerealm, there weren't many public collaring ceremonies. The few that happened were usually leather or Old Guard.

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 4:10:18 PM   
marsneedswomen


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen
Collaring ceremonies strengthens the culture it represents no different from a church wedding does for their community.


I disagree. The number of velcro collar, constant break ups and immediately getting collared to someone else cheapened it down to something trite.

I'll also add that prior to the existence of Castlerealm, there weren't many public collaring ceremonies. The few that happened were usually leather or Old Guard.


Were these online collaring ceremonies?

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RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 4:10:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I went to a collaring ceremony a few months back. There were no roses involved. There was, however, awesome chocolate cake, if I do say so myself.



Cali


Was that the chocolate raspberry cake?

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