RE: Is collaring disappearing?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is collaring disappearing?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is collaring disappearing?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 5:31:50 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen
Collaring ceremonies strengthens the culture it represents no different from a church wedding does for their community.

I disagree. The number of velcro collar, constant break ups and immediately getting collared to someone else cheapened it down to something trite.

I'll also add that prior to the existence of Castlerealm, there weren't many public collaring ceremonies. The few that happened were usually leather or Old Guard.

Were these online collaring ceremonies?

No these were real life collaring ceremonies.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to marsneedswomen)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/22/2012 5:37:07 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

Collaring ceremonies were once a strong presence in bdsm community, but I am getting the sense that the ceremonial collaring of submissives by dominants seems to be occurring less frequently if at all. Does anyone else notice a decline or is it just not being discussed?

mnw

I live in small town that has no BDSM groups. I heard of one group an hour away on the toll freeway something like eight years ago, but by the time I was ready to join it had disbanded. I WAS the lifestyle community in my area, a sort of welcome wagon for newbies. People in my town and in neighboring towns are too skeered of being outed to join a munch group if we had one in our area. Until this past year, since bo and I started going to munch groups in the Charleston area (two to three hours away, depending on traffic and weather conditions...if snowing or very foggy, sometimes the drive has taken me five hours), anyway, I was finally able to witness a collaring ceremony. It was lovely, btw, and nothing like a velcro collar situation.

I collared bo a year ago after knowing him for only five months. The time felt right and I took what was mine...he was mine with or without a physical collar but...
1) I like marking my territory
2) Because I CAN. I have reached a point in my life where I don't have to be uber discreet, and yes, I want vanillas to see us as a couple and get used to the fact that a woman can have a "wife" type, a "honey, do..." It's enough to be seen as a nice, sane, happy couple and that bo glows with happiness and contentment...definitely not "abused" or whatever vanilla made BDSM internet porn taught them about our lifestyle.
3) Because one week out of three bo and I cannot be together, and he needed part of me/us physically around his neck to comfort him and help him get through the times when we have to be apart.

We started with a heavy chain collar with a heart shaped lock, but the silver came off over time and it looked dull. It is in no way passable in vanilla as anything other than what it is. Someone in our munch group makes chainmail and bo fell in love with one design, with copper hoops, some greenish, and one hoop per set looking like steel. We kept the heart shaped lock. Anyway, the necklace is big and heavy and does not pass in vanilla for anything other than what it is...it also matches the cuffs/bracelets around both of his wrists. He explains to whoever asks, confirming what they suspected. Not once has he gotten a negative reaction.

The short jeans shorts he wears, typical of the seventies, lol, gets more turned heads than his collar and cuffs do. His brain injury makes his body overheat and he will become quite ill from getting too hot ("proper" redneck shorts are to the knees and make bo get overheated to the point of vomiting). You wouldn't believe the Hell he catches for wearing cutoff type jeans shorts, lol.

Anyway, back to the original questions... Ours was private. If we had been regulars at MAsT or at the munch groups we belong to nowadays, the ceremony would have been public. I cannot tell if the OP was talking about r/t collaring ceremonies or witnessing online collaring ceremonies. Maybe the online type is declining but the r/t ones are the same as usual. *shrugs*

(in reply to marsneedswomen)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/23/2012 11:38:46 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I went to a collaring ceremony a few months back. There were no roses involved. There was, however, awesome chocolate cake, if I do say so myself.

Cali

Was that the chocolate raspberry cake?

Yes.

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/23/2012 11:48:55 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am sorry I missed that cake.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to CalifChick)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/23/2012 12:31:55 PM

culareD

Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

When Master collared me, it was just the two of us and it was a simple act of fastening the collar around my neck. That was a leather collar that I wore at home, when possible.

A year or so later he bought me a necklace that I wear all day, every day. It only comes off when I exchange it for my leather collar.

Neither of us wanted a lot of drama or fuss - it was an intensely private moment that we wanted to share only with each other.

I like the necklace idea...it really is about the symbolism and obedience to wear it, I think. ~ culare'd

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 8/23/2012 1:29:15 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

Collaring ceremonies were once a strong presence in bdsm community, but I am getting the sense that the ceremonial collaring of submissives by dominants seems to be occurring less frequently if at all. Does anyone else notice a decline or is it just not being discussed?

mnw

Giving collars still happens (as my girl would attest to!), but the ceremonial aspect has always been an individual thing, not always advertised.

Maybe it's just the channel you're watching.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to marsneedswomen)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/13/2012 9:03:02 PM

wickedoldwolf

Posts: 50
Joined: 9/17/2010
Status: offline

I never considered the ritual to be as important as the collaring itself. When I took a soul into my care, it made them the same as blood kin in my eyes. ut then I grew up with a different set of rules then most. A creed you might say.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/13/2012 9:06:44 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

It implies fulfillment, the last consumer good one will ever reasonably require, so yeah, it's on the way out, because satisfaction is inimical to consumption economics.

Of course, if the collar were were to become a consumer good...

< Message edited by xssve -- 9/13/2012 9:07:01 PM >

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/13/2012 9:59:36 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

Collaring ceremonies were once a strong presence in bdsm community, but I am getting the sense that the ceremonial collaring of submissives by dominants seems to be occurring less frequently if at all. Does anyone else notice a decline or is it just not being discussed?

mnw

I agree. I've never seen one except in pictures. I collared Tam in private. She wore it publically as she did the wireless remote controlled egg I purchased one day at the local Husler store in Nashville. The sight of a collared short skirted submissive squirming on silent command in a fine restaurant is one of life's little pleasures, don't you think, as well as the collaring ceremony I think we should have had. I am as guilty as the next person for not doing one.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to marsneedswomen)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/13/2012 10:39:03 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

My collars..yes, more than one....are just simple met bracelets and his collaring was a simple, casual thing while were on a boardwalk and walked into a little shop. He saw me looking at it and told me to get it. He put it on and that was that and it's been there ever since.

He also gave me a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas a couple of years ago. He put it on and it's been there since. Nothing elaborate,nothing difficult, no needing to make it public, etc.....

We're really are not into the whole public showing off thing plus we both I think like that it was private and kept to ourselves with nothing to be said. For us it was just an organic process for us, pretty much like our entire relationship.

We both also talked what we would both want for a wedding and while I like the traditional church one with all your family and friends, he liked just a quiet ceremony on a beach in like Bora Bora. Now my whole idea of a fancy wedding has pretty much faded he older I get because I don't have much family or friends who would even show up. So yeah, I think I'd like the beach wedding too...just the two of us, a pastor, and one maid of honor and a best man. That's it. I think it would be much more romantic.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/13/2012 10:43:09 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Arturas)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/14/2012 12:57:55 AM

SexyThoughts

Posts: 180
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline

I collar with something subtle. Something safe to be seen in, in public, more a necklace, than a dog's leather collar.

But the round steel ring type necklace, screwed together not clasped, and too small to pull over a head, isn't rare. In NZ, you see one or two per thousand. Still I work with theatre and computers, so the men and women there aren't statistically average.

And the goth/emo/punk brigade wear dog collars almost as a uniform.

But how much of that is fashion and commitment as opposed to BDSM high protocol, I have no idea. From most reactions, a necklace with no clasp is a fashion item now days. Uh, yeah, sure

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/14/2012 8:56:34 AM

RahvinDom

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/31/2012
Status: offline

Just last weekend I witnessed a very beautiful collaring ceremony open to the local BDSM public. It's not dead yet.

(in reply to SexyThoughts)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/14/2012 1:45:08 PM

kimba1

Posts: 46
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wickedoldwolf

I never considered the ritual to be as important as the collaring itself. When I took a soul into my care, it made them the same as blood kin in my eyes. ut then I grew up with a different set of rules then most. A creed you might say.

Beautifully said. Master collared me 7 years ago, in private—a moment I shall never forget. He placed a leather collar around my neck, but even then, I knew that whether I wear it or not, I am ALWAYS collared, always his .... we renewed our vows and added a couple more since then, including a beautiful simple silver one for me to wear in vanilla situations at work (though I happily wear any collars around family members). We are not part of a scene, nor a community, but we will be sharing our commitment next year with close friends and family, with traditional rings as well. Public ceremonies? I wouldn't know how many have taken place in the past nor present ... but i do know that our private ceremony meant the world to me, and was a dream come true that i am lucky enough to relive over and over in real life...

(in reply to wickedoldwolf)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/14/2012 10:25:33 PM

TranceAwake

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/1/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

I wonder if there is a study out there dealing with collaring? I didn't think to take a look, but I am curious about the demographics. Time to do some google scholar searches.

Aside, nice collar.

Maybe you should contact Sydney University. I hear they are all about studying us. :) LOL

(in reply to marsneedswomen)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 6:42:32 AM

TiedUpReady

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline

mnw
[/quote]
Total fluff and meaningless. I think anyone who feels a need to go through these motions or wear/make someone wear some kind of neck device as a complete phoney, and usually trying to prove something to others.

That said, I've never met or seen anyone who wore a collar or had someone else do so, either online or off.
[/quote]

I'm in a 24/7 D/s relationship, I live with my Dom, I wear a thin Ring of Steel collar 24/7 and there is nothing phoney about either of us and we couldn't give a fuck what other people think, so we've nothing to prove to anyone.

But thanks for the assumption.

(in reply to twonearvancouver)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 6:44:09 AM

TiedUpReady

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline

and that was my first ever post on here so I really don't know what I'm doing with formatting quotes lol

(in reply to TiedUpReady)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 6:48:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Parade wave to TUR!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to TiedUpReady)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 7:06:22 AM

TiedUpReady

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline

thank you!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 9:21:01 AM

loveseat

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twonearvancouver
That said, I've never met or seen anyone who wore a collar or had someone else do so, either online or off.

Well now you've met another. My collar is a ring of steel type, hinged at the back, padlocked at the front, my partner wears the key on a chain around his neck. I get comments from vanillas all the time saying how unusual and striking it is. When vanillas ask what it is I explain that I asked my partner for a locket, and he got me a padlock so he could "lock it". They laugh at the pun and are none the wiser, and of course those in the lifestyle have no need to ask.

(in reply to twonearvancouver)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Is collaring disappearing? - 9/20/2012 10:04:45 AM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: online

quote:

ORIGINAL: twonearvancouver

quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

Collaring ceremonies were once a strong presence in bdsm community, but I am getting the sense that the ceremonial collaring of submissives by dominants seems to be occurring less frequently if at all. Does anyone else notice a decline or is it just not being discussed?

mnw

I see marriage as a failure of a relationship to develop properly and a sign the people involved shouldn't be together, so perhaps my opinion isn't exactly commonplace.