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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 4:10:26 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Give me 45 minutes alone with somebody to give them a Killer Full body massage.... and I'll have more of a Positive link established with them mentally and physically compared to all the head PATS in the world. (just sayin, that's all)...



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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 4:37:16 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chemeli

From what he told me, he's had more then 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each. I thought....yeah, someone who can actually teach me ! So i looked forward to that, you're right.


Well, a couple of thoughts:

1) Several submissives for a period of a year, is not 15 years. That leaves me questioning about 50% of his time.

2) Training means nothing. It's usually an euphemism for tied up, beat and then fucked.

3) I know people that are into bondage, but aren't Dominants. They're tops and it doesn't extend past the scene.

4) A bunch of short lived relationships usually indicates that there is some issue.


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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 4:50:46 PM   
chemeli


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


Well, a couple of thoughts:

1) Several submissives for a period of a year, is not 15 years. That leaves me questioning about 50% of his time.

2) Training means nothing. It's usually an euphemism for tied up, beat and then fucked.

3) I know people that are into bondage, but aren't Dominants. They're tops and it doesn't extend past the scene. I think that's exactly who he is. In the bedroom only. We were on dates, and i actually waited, expected him to be more (like most of the men i dated in vanilla) but he's only about the bedroom.

4) A bunch of short lived relationships usually indicates that there is some issue.



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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 4:55:07 PM   
chemeli


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

In regards to taking the next step? Wow, I'm still amazed at the whole head Pat business. Damn, this stuff is more than just mere touch. Involves body language and also combined with verbal aspects. It's a combination of things together. I really don't try to over think this shit. If I'm kissing somebody, and I don't like they way they are kissing or whatever it is. I open my mouth and tell them what to do better. I don't tell them that they are bad kisser, bad at oral or whatever else. Instead, I give them exactly what they need to know to do it better... assert that that's the way I want or like it. Stir them off the path of them doing shit the way i don't like. LOL

The Physical Dom touch is there right from the start for me. I'll even squeeze somebody's hand before pulling them in the direction I want them to go in. I'm rather at a loss in regards to how HEAD PATS used upon human beings or even Animals is a Dominant like touch.

Personally, most other forms of touching are more Dominant like compared to Head Pats. If I Head patted anybody, I'd expect for them to be giving me "WTF are you doing" look... Yes, I'd expect for them to be staring at me with some stupid retarded look upon their face, for the equally stupid retarded touch I just gave them... by Patting their Friggen Head. Trust me, i was thinking this the whole time he patted my head. I thought, what the hell (pardon the language) i'm not a pet nor a dog. I know for a fact dogs hate being patted on their heads and i try to scrub their ears or neck, and avoid the head. So .... yeah, failing here big time.

I'll Pat somebody, when I'm intending an insult or as a sarcastic insult joke. I'll use head PATS to mock or make fun of a situation even.... where clearly sarcasm is involved. But it's not on my TOP 1000 list of ways to touch somebody. Ditto!!






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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 5:31:42 PM   
Karmastic


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fr-

sorry, this part made me laugh...

"I’m guessing those patting are meant for me to feel more submissive towards him and I’m guessing, is this the *usual* path Doms use to keep contact or to establish a link between the sub and themselves?"

i don't think there's any usual way or thing to do that, different for everyone. i guess patting the head is his thing.

my general answer is that things should come naturally. if he's going too fast for you, talk to him about it and ask if he can slow down. i was going to say that "the things he does to show dominance...", but realized, he shouldn't be doing anything in particular. i.e., i don't "do" things to show dominance, i just end up being dominant.

ultimately, it has to feel right for both of you to be a good match. try and give it some time while you explore what's right for you, and good luck!

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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 6:21:06 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

From what he told me, he's had more than 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each.


Well, I had someone who claimed to have $15,000 worth of leather and steel show up with a bread knife and a belt, so...

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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 6:22:39 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

From what he told me, he's had more than 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each.


Well, I had someone who claimed to have $15,000 worth of leather and steel show up with a bread knife and a belt, so...



Wow....they must have been a really expensive bread knife and belt.....


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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 6:22:52 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I think that's exactly who he is. In the bedroom only. We were on dates, and i actually waited, expected him to be more (like most of the men i dated in vanilla) but he's only about the bedroom.


I've had somewhat boring dinner dates with men who turned out to be quite Dom once I was at their house (whole house, not just bedroom.)

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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 6:24:01 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

From what he told me, he's had more than 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each.


Well, I had someone who claimed to have $15,000 worth of leather and steel show up with a bread knife and a belt, so...


Wow....they must have been a really expensive bread knife and belt.....


Maybe he was referring to his BMW?

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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 7:07:41 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chemeli

From what he told me, he's had more then 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each. I thought....yeah, someone who can actually teach me ! So i looked forward to that, you're right.

I'll speak to him about everything that raised interrogations in my mind from this thread, we'll see how that goes...

Edited to add that i'm not trying to defend him, but just saying that's what he told me. So far, i have no reason not to believe him.


1. Fifteen years of bondage? I'd be very leery of that claim. First off, I don't know any local Masters who have experience in bondage only. Bondage and whips, yeah. Bondage and floggers, sure. Putting the worst possible spin on it, he may have been suggesting that he wanted to tie you up, at which point you'd be helpless.

2. That "training" raises red flags. Nobody trains for a full year RL. Maybe he's taking credit for online "training", which is essentially cyberplay.

3. If he actually has fifteen years of experience, there should be people who know of him. Has he offered references? I know dozens of locals that are well known locally that have far less than five years of experience. If he has no references, he's either an online Dom or a liar.

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RE: Touching - 8/23/2012 7:53:01 PM   
chemeli


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

From what he told me, he's had more than 15 years of experience in bondage making and had several submissives in training as well, over a period of 1 year each.


Well, I had someone who claimed to have $15,000 worth of leather and steel show up with a bread knife and a belt, so...



*grin* i see your point. I'm only the messenger.

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RE: Touching - 8/24/2012 6:36:44 AM   
culareD


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Take his hand... and put it where you want it.

Even if that is up his... nose.

Hat tip to Cryptic. Exceptional.


I'm filing this pearl away...

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Touching - 8/24/2012 12:05:44 PM   
culareD


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Give me 45 minutes alone with somebody to give them a Killer Full body massage.... and I'll have more of a Positive link established with them mentally and physically compared to all the head PATS in the world. (just sayin, that's all)...





Been sitting on this one all day...love me some full body massage...just saying. And yes, so much better than a "good dog" pat on the head.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Touching - 8/24/2012 12:23:46 PM   
DesFIP


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The Man probably had 15 years of experience as a bondage top before we met. No whips or floggers or anything s & m.
I'm his first d/s relationship though. And all of that was private one on one. At that time he was a well known BSA leader and any outing would have eliminated him from scouting. But he didn't claim to be a master, just a bondage top.

I'm wondering if he's only played with people who enjoyed pet play though. None of this speculation matters though, there wasn't any chemistry and at the end of the day that's what matters. You either feel it or you don't.

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Profile   Post #: 54
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