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RE: Question re: humiliation - 6/13/2006 7:43:36 AM

MasterRoissey

Posts: 40
Joined: 3/15/2006
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discomfort/embarrassment/humiliation/degradation...
one persons trash is the others treasures.
there are pain sluts and there are humiliation sluts , and then there are also those that aren't.

(in reply to twicehappy)

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RE: Question re: humiliation - 6/13/2006 11:15:38 AM

flaswitchmale

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/11/2006
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Well, honestly, I have always believed that as long as you find a partiner that fits your personality, vanilla or not, you will be happy. If you are into x, and your partiner is into doing x to you, or whatever x is, then it doesn't matter if you are defined as "in the lifestyle," nor not. Expecting one to be into something, without discussing it with that particular person, is futile (for dominants and submissives, and vanillas alike).

(in reply to twicehappy)

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RE: Question re: humiliation - 6/13/2006 3:14:30 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleMissSub

Is humiliation an integral part of the BDSM lifestyle? A friend of mine was telling me there are certain key elements, and without them, you're not really into the lifestyle. I think they were obedience, humiliation, pain and something else....

I've tried and tried and tried to wrap my head around humiliation. It's subjective. What I don't find humiliating others do. But what I find humiliating I want no part of. Am I alone?

Let's say that humiliation is an integral part of "the BDSM lifestyle," whatever that is.

I suggest that you don't give a damn about the BDSM lifestyle. Instead care passionately about your values and the people you love

As a general rule, anyone who is willing to tell you what "true" BDSM is, and especially anyone who is willing to tell you that you don't measure up, is someone who will very likely get what they deserve by concentrating their attention on some nebulous theoretical construct instead of paying attention to their heart, and yours. There is no reason to be unkind to them and no reason to care about their opinion of your life.

Fuck "the lifestyle." As for me I find that expression vapid at best. Live your life according to your values and desires and the needs of those you care about--hopefully all sorts of people to different degrees and in different ways. Someday you might meet someone who inspires a desire in you to explore humililiation as an aspect of your submission to him. It might be touchy at first but if he is worth his salt you'll get through it.

You may instead end up with people who share your current distaste/disinterest in humiliation. If you and these partners fail your friend's litmus test for True BDSM, it's all even because you'll pass my test for living with your eyes open to what can't be denied rather than being shackled by questionable conventions.

And I hope you'll care as little about my test as I do about his.

(in reply to LittleMissSub)

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