RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (Full Version)

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justacleaner -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/13/2012 4:38:51 PM)

I don't really think there is any need for sarcasm or rudeness, I was just giving an opinion on the post as and then replying to your comment, but if you take that argument to its natural conclusion it would mean that every person who ran their household/family finances is a dominant.



OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/13/2012 4:45:11 PM)

Nope. Because it is agreed upon as part of a power dynamic. Context counts.



justacleaner -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/13/2012 4:58:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Nope. Because it is agreed upon as part of a power dynamic. Context counts.


I can see your argument but as I don't know anything about you or your relationship I'm at a bit of a loss. My answer was to a general question about financial domination and not individuals. And in that regard I don't believe that financial dominants who take money for a make believe relationship have anything in common with d/s as a reality.

Give me a whistle and I will rule the world.

Adolf Hitler (1936)



AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/13/2012 10:40:43 PM)

Not all financial dominants just take money and leave it at that. It's a legitimate form of D/s when it's not abused.



idogaydrugs -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/15/2012 8:29:14 PM)

A great number of the people who act as financial doms aren't actually into BDSM that much, it seems, but it's a proper form of BDSM no matter how you slice it. At least that's my take. I still hate people who absolutely will not play or talk without donations. It's such an illegitimate way to do things.



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/15/2012 8:53:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

Not all financial dominants just take money and leave it at that. It's a legitimate form of D/s when it's not abused.

If BOTH parties achieve some form of satisfaction from participating, and the relationship forms under mutual trust, then yes it certainly is a legitimate form of D/s. Yes, many of us loath the idea, but these same men might go gambling or to strip clubs and purposely(??) blow far more money. Finding a balance that won't overtax the sub would be the responsible thing.

I've had a few approach Me looking for a fin-Domme, but I can't really get in the mood for it (crazy huh?), so at present I just direct them to donate $XOX.00 to someplace like their local Rape Crisis Services or Domestic Abuse Shelter and show Me some PROOF that they've completed the Task. At least SOME good comes of it and the recipient is a DESERVING one.



AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 2:40:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS


quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

Not all financial dominants just take money and leave it at that. It's a legitimate form of D/s when it's not abused.

If BOTH parties achieve some form of satisfaction from participating, and the relationship forms under mutual trust, then yes it certainly is a legitimate form of D/s. Yes, many of us loath the idea, but these same men might go gambling or to strip clubs and purposely(??) blow far more money. Finding a balance that won't overtax the sub would be the responsible thing.

I've had a few approach Me looking for a fin-Domme, but I can't really get in the mood for it (crazy huh?), so at present I just direct them to donate $XOX.00 to someplace like their local Rape Crisis Services or Domestic Abuse Shelter and show Me some PROOF that they've completed the Task. At least SOME good comes of it and the recipient is a DESERVING one.


Why isn't a finDomme deserving? I don't understand that. What makes a "regular" Domme deserving of being submitted to, but not a finDomme?

There are some of us that don't abuse it. I don't. I recently put a blog up on my site that every gift card I receive until Christmas is going to purchase warm clothes for a local Cold Weather Drive. A lot of good can be done, you just have to look past the cash princesses to see that.


--------------------------------

I wish that more people could see that it's not all about just taking the money and running. There's a lot of good that can be done. I'm getting a slave out of debt, into good spending habits, making him manage his bills and get things done. It's not just me being some undeserving person trying to make a quick buck.



imtempting -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 3:52:03 AM)

As usual, I know my comments will have some nasty come backs but here goes.

I believe financial domination is not legitimate form of D/s. Its basically prostitution as one person is wanting money and the other person is being too lazy to do all the work and going for the quick fix.



chaos9071 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 4:26:01 AM)

Yeah but then the same thing happens in any marriage... So is marriage a form of prostitution?



autumnember -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 4:33:55 AM)

If thats what you think of marriage never get marries... and if you are..... get out. IF a mom stays at home to raise kids she is not being lazy.

and no imo financial domination is not a valid form of d/s .. it is a form of escort service small business



JeffBC -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 4:50:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder
Not all financial dominants just take money and leave it at that. It's a legitimate form of D/s when it's not abused.

Whether or not they "just take money and leave it at that" I still remain confused about the whole concept of "legitimate form of D/s". Where is the governing body of BDSM that publishes this list?

Just to point out how ridiculous that concept is, I'd say that what goes on between Carol and I bears zero resemblance to about 95% of what I read here. For me to conclude that 95% of you are all "illegitimate" would be ridiculous. Clearly you are doing something and whatever it is it's working for you. It's just different than the D/s that happens between Carol and I at a very basic level. I'm intrigued by those differences because I happen to like the study of humans in general. I find no need to talk about what is "true" or "legitimate" or "real".

This entire thread is simply a rehash of every "true slavery" thread we've ever read just with a different topic. Now it's "true D/s" rather than "true slavery". As far as I'm concerned if it actually happened between two individuals then it is "real" and "true" -- whether or not it happened remotely. If it made the two individuals happier then I call it "good". I don't expect it to be the same as my relationship.



CharmingKitty -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/17/2012 9:11:22 AM)

"Legitimate D/s" is kind of making me giggle.



seekingreality -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/18/2012 12:16:34 AM)

I am not one for making grand pronouncements about the world, or what others should do, so I can only talk about myself: If a domme expected me to give her a penny, I wouldn't be interested.

I've never paid for a domme. But if I was willing to do that, I wouldn't participate in financial domination. I would purchase a session. And I would demand a very very very high level of physical attractiveness, and I would order the services I wanted. Because my feeling is if I open my wallet, I am a client, and I get what i want.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/19/2012 2:56:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I still remain confused about the whole concept of "legitimate form of D/s". Where is the governing body of BDSM that publishes this list?


Sigh. Wasn't this already covered on page one of this thread? The word "legitimate" is a direct quote from another thread. Perhaps I should have changed the word. Please don't get too caught up in that single word. Perhaps I should have phrased it "How do you feel about financial domination?", or "Can we hear both sides of the financial domination discussion that we have so often around here".

My intent was not to dictate what is "real". Rather, I was trying to foster a diverse discussion on a topic that is too often approached with nothing but venom and name calling (and we've seen a fair share of that in this thread).

quote:


I find no need to talk about what is "true" or "legitimate" or "real".


Yeah, we get it already. Now move on please.

quote:


This entire thread is simply a rehash of every "true slavery" thread we've ever read just with a different topic. Now it's "true D/s" rather than "true slavery".


Actually, no it's not. Read it again.

You've gotten so hung up on the word "legitimate" that you seemed to miss the whole conversation that occurred throughout an 11 page thread. It was much more diverse that a simple discussion of what is "real" and "true". I guess that's what they mean by not being able to see the forest for the trees. [;)]




Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/19/2012 2:57:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

But if I was willing to do that, I wouldn't participate in financial domination. I would purchase a session. And I would demand a very very very high level of physical attractiveness, and I would order the services I wanted. Because my feeling is if I open my wallet, I am a client, and I get what i want.


Sounds fair to me.



TeenagerFromMars -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (12/10/2012 8:16:57 PM)

Ahhh, I'm so glad I read this!



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (12/11/2012 9:38:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

But if I was willing to do that, I wouldn't participate in financial domination. I would purchase a session. And I would demand a very very very high level of physical attractiveness, and I would order the services I wanted. Because my feeling is if I open my wallet, I am a client, and I get what i want.


Sounds fair to me.



Sounds fair to you? Really? You know Roch I normally agree with just about everything you say...BUT...really? I will be the first (I think) person to say that a client should get what they want/are paying for but it leads to me wanting to point out that ,as is often said to subs here, everyone has their limits. The attitude that someone should be able to demand things just because they are paying for something upsets me just a little. I wonder if the same people that have this train of thought think that when they are in a resterant and the staff brings them a steak they can hit the waitress in the face with it just because they paid for it.

Having said all that I am willing to also admit that this is an aspect of bdsm that many people do not understand. Most don't understand that in long term situations having to do with fin domming that it really does have to do with controling the financial actions of the other person. It is not something I would cheeringly suggest people do via the internet or with someone that they do not know very well.




tazzygirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (12/11/2012 11:46:31 AM)

quote:

Sounds fair to you? Really? You know Roch I normally agree with just about everything you say...BUT...really? I will be the first (I think) person to say that a client should get what they want/are paying for but it leads to me wanting to point out that ,as is often said to subs here, everyone has their limits. The attitude that someone should be able to demand things just because they are paying for something upsets me just a little. I wonder if the same people that have this train of thought think that when they are in a resterant and the staff brings them a steak they can hit the waitress in the face with it just because they paid for it.


In reference to the steak, most who order it would expect it properly prepared to their desired level of wellness and then eat it.

If someone was going to a professional and paying for a session, the expectation of getting what you paid for... that specific service.... would be quite normal.

If you take your car in for an oil change and they adjust the brakes instead, would you smile, thank them and walk away? I wouldnt expect any less of a paying customer to a professional domme. Doesnt matter that he is submissive.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (12/11/2012 12:27:26 PM)

As my post said, Tazzy, I agree that a client should get what they pay for but what I was trying (and it seems failted) to point out was the attitude that if you throw money at something you get everything you want. You taking your car in for an oil change and expecting an oil change is one thing. You taking your car in for an oil change and expecting your mechainic to make your car fly is a whole different thing.



Nakhla -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (12/11/2012 12:33:45 PM)

I enjoy financial domination, but most likely not in the sense that it's used 99% of the time here. I like a man being in charge of my life, and that means all of my life, and that includes our finances. He enjoys the power, I enjoy the burden of responsibility taken off my shoulders. Yes, that involves a high degree of trust, but so does a lot of the stuff we do.

In my last relationship, my paycheck went right into his account. Money was never discussed, yet, I also never wanted for anything.

I cannot imagine doing this casually, and a dominant taking my money on an irresponsible spending spree would be just as off-putting and potentially relationship-ending as one engaging in damaging, injurious play. ( Of course, obviously, others mileage may vary. )

Now, most of the time what seems to be discussed on these boards is BDSM prostitution, which is totally legitimate but also, is what it is and most of the time is likely to be financially motivated. I don't see it as illegitimate BDSM any more than vanilla prostitution is illegitimate sex.



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