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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 10:55:43 AM

jj292

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What I don't get is the idea of ruin and destruction some have. I think that crosses the line of safe, sane, and consensual. And any domme that allows it or encourages it does not understand the BDSM lifestyle. Every dominant (male or female) has the responsibility to know when to ease off or stop when they sense something has gone too far even when the sub is willing to go further. The dom is in a position of power. And he/she has to be aware of the submissive's general welfare.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 541

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 11:21:40 AM

TNDommeK

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I got the same responses. It's a shame that others often put a kink down that they don't understand, in an alternative lifestyle.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 12/31/2012 11:23:03 AM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 1:00:28 PM

AllisonWilder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

What I don't get is the idea of ruin and destruction some have. I think that crosses the line of safe, sane, and consensual. And any domme that allows it or encourages it does not understand the BDSM lifestyle. Every dominant (male or female) has the responsibility to know when to ease off or stop when they sense something has gone too far even when the sub is willing to go further. The dom is in a position of power. And he/she has to be aware of the submissive's general welfare.

I completely agree with everything you said. I have ended relationships where a sub has told me that he can reasonably keep going only to find out that I was pushing him towards bankruptcy. I don't use financial domination as a tool to ruin anyone. Financial submission can be such an intense addiction for some that the Domme has to have their subs best interests at heart.

In my opinion, anyone looking to be completely financially ruined needs to seek professional help.

< Message edited by AllisonWilder -- 12/31/2012 1:01:57 PM >

(in reply to jj292)

Post #: 543

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 1:24:28 PM

RumpusParable

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While I don't necessarily believe there is anything wrong with bankrupting someone who wants it (I am very much one who believes people should be able to do with their lives whatever they want as long as they are not causing others non-consensual harm), it's not for me.

I've no desire or intention of ruining someone financially. When someone tries to negotiate it or manipulate into that sort of situation, I drop it. Not going there with someone. That violates my *own* limits.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 1:29:53 PM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Are there any fin Dommes who have slaves that they would allow to come to this thread?

Chael's allowed to post where ever he wants and with this (along with other threads I read or participate in on the net) is a conversation thread that I've been relaying him bits of and talking to him about it (at least once I mentioned his input on it here). Thing is, he has zero interest talking on here or any other discussion site. He doesn't have a profile here, he only has a profile on Fetlife because I started it and run it and have at times tried to *get* him to talk online with people.

He has no interest whatsoever in chat sites. As I mentioned before, he's even the sort of person who when playing WoW refuses to group with other people or chat in the gamechat. He's soloed his way all the way up to level cap. Chael mostly considers online time as a chance to *get away* from people lol.

So, allowed and urged to talk online about this and other subject, but he doesn't wanna.

When I've relayed stuff to him about this thread he's just made the occasional joke and expressed that those having a problem with findom are, in his opinion and as a quote: "neenerheads"

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Post #: 545

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 1:34:25 PM

AllisonWilder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

While I don't necessarily believe there is anything wrong with bankrupting someone who wants it (I am very much one who believes people should be able to do with their lives whatever they want as long as they are not causing others non-consensual harm), it's not for me.

I've no desire or intention of ruining someone financially. When someone tries to negotiate it or manipulate into that sort of situation, I drop it. Not going there with someone. That violates my *own* limits.

If there was someone looking to be completely bankrupted, shouldn't common sense say that maybe there is something not quite right with that person? I understand that there are extremes in FD, but ruining someone that way is certainly beyond extreme.

And besides all of that, a financial sub that's broken is useless. I don't speak for everyone, but I don't like to leave my subs broken when we're done.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 546

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:05:43 PM

RumpusParable

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As said, I'm firmly of the opinion that people should be able to choose what they want in their lives as long as they aren't hurting others: bankruptcy, amputation, death... anything inside or outside a BDSM relationship where they aren't assaulting others or such.

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Post #: 547

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:11:15 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
While I don't necessarily believe there is anything wrong with bankrupting someone who wants it (I am very much one who believes people should be able to do with their lives whatever they want as long as they are not causing others non-consensual harm), it's not for me.

Well, I could give you quite a few "wrongs" with it. I'm cool with people doing as they will until they ask me to shoulder the burden. This guy who has "ruined himself"... how's he going to eat the next week? I strongly suspect I'll be putting food on his table which means I have non-consensually paid for the findomme relationship. No... in a society you don't get to think one at a time. You only get to do that if you are "off the grid" somehow.

I have the same reaction to extreme physical play. Yeah... and it's me picking up the hospital tabs.

That thinking, however, is tempered by a counter-thought. As a society we have all kinds of various "high risk" people. Generally though, this is a small enough percentage that it has no real impact (unless they happen to be bankers). And, I suspect, that it's probably good for a society to have some of that so the additional costs might be worthwhile.

In the end, those two thoughts counter-balance so I don't worry about it too much. However, I also don't associate with sociopaths so I wouldn't want to be a friend to the fin domme in question.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:14:28 PM

littlewonder

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At what point do you say they are adults and responsible for their own wellbeing? So they go bankrupt. Unless they are emotionally unstable, which at that point, why the fuck would you be playing with them anyway?, isn't it their responsibility to figure that out?

As I say time and time again, I think we baby adults waaaay too much! This is why so many don't take responsibility for their lives anymore. They figure they don't have to...someone will come along and rescue them and take care of it for them or tell them what to do.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:23:41 PM

RumpusParable

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I put it up to the same as people who bungey jump or cliff dive or gamble like mad. I don't personally think it's wise, wouldn't engage in it or urge it on someone else, but if someone else wants to risk cracking their head open or living in a homeless shelter... I've not a problem with it as long as they aren't trying to get me to do it with them.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:31:18 PM

littlewonder

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exactly

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 2:46:06 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
I put it up to the same as people who bungey jump or cliff dive or gamble like mad. I don't personally think it's wise, wouldn't engage in it or urge it on someone else, but if someone else wants to risk cracking their head open or living in a homeless shelter... I've not a problem with it as long as they aren't trying to get me to do it with them.

That's about where I end up with it too. As I said, I have counter-balancing thoughts and that leaves me satisfied with the status-quo.

I was only pointing out that this whole, "leave me alone" deal doesn't work in an connected society. Nobody is alone. Let everyone do as they please only works if you are also willing to let them starve on the streets and deal with the subsequent violence and social mayhem. In your example above, SOMEONE is paying for that homeless shelter and it isn't the fin domme in question.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 552

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 3:15:03 PM

jj292

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I think in those extreme cases you are crossing the line into addiction. Sort of like people who go out shopping and can't control their spending and go into mountains of debt. That is psychological problem people legitimately need to seek help for. And I think extreme financial domination can become the same thing. And unfortunately there are some out there that are more than willing to take advantage of these people.

Maybe I just dont understand it or missing something. But I dont see how financially destroying a money slave is a good goal for some of those domme out there to have. If this is a sub that will be loyal for a long time, why kill the golden goose? Unless the domme is very inexperienced or more of a sugar baby than a dominant.

(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 3:31:17 PM

TNDommeK

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I agree with this, longevity is what I seek in a slave. My goal is not to ruin him.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to jj292)

Post #: 554

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 3:49:57 PM

RumpusParable

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Indeed. My personal path is to enjoy a relationship for as long as we're both happy and enriched by it. When part of that relationship is financial service, I personally can't see a point in ending that usefulness/sweetness in the slave.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

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(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 555

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 4:51:32 PM

AllisonWilder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

At what point do you say they are adults and responsible for their own wellbeing? So they go bankrupt. Unless they are emotionally unstable, which at that point, why the fuck would you be playing with them anyway?, isn't it their responsibility to figure that out?

As I say time and time again, I think we baby adults waaaay too much! This is why so many don't take responsibility for their lives anymore. They figure they don't have to...someone will come along and rescue them and take care of it for them or tell them what to do.

I'm not saying I baby adults, I really don't do that. If I choose to play with someone, bankrupting them isn't an option for me. If that happened it wouldn't be consensual on my part and I would feel like garbage knowing I did it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

I think in those extreme cases you are crossing the line into addiction. Sort of like people who go out shopping and can't control their spending and go into mountains of debt. That is psychological problem people legitimately need to seek help for. And I think extreme financial domination can become the same thing. And unfortunately there are some out there that are more than willing to take advantage of these people.

Maybe I just dont understand it or missing something. But I dont see how financially destroying a money slave is a good goal for some of those domme out there to have. If this is a sub that will be loyal for a long time, why kill the golden goose? Unless the domme is very inexperienced or more of a sugar baby than a dominant.

I totally agree.

(in reply to jj292)

Post #: 556

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 5:01:29 PM

irishgirl69

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Yes right now it is legitimate.

BUt it will not always be the LAW.

I hope this answers all questions.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/31/2012 5:03:13 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: irishgirl69

Yes right now it is legitimate.

BUt it will not always be the LAW.

I hope this answers all questions.

Thank you.

You covered everything.

There it is.

(in reply to irishgirl69)

Post #: 558

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 1:22:01 AM

TNDommeK

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What the hell??? Lol.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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Post #: 559

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 2:07:01 AM

littlewonder

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huh?

I have no idea what irishgirl just meant. Anyone else understand?

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