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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 10:30:53 AM   
cocomistress


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/31/2012
Status: offline 		I don't know if there was ever a detailed definition for what financial domination is considered to be. However, I know what I believe it should be.

It's a D/s relationship just like any other. The dom/me is expected to dominate their sub/slave whether it be with discipline, humiliation, collar/leash, bondage, e-stim, etc. And a sub/slave is expected to submit themselves to their Dom/me and respect and serve them.

But there is an added aspect. Some subs are aroused by the thought of having their Dom/me unexpectedly take money from them. Whether it be, the Dom/me takes her sub to the mall and then takes control over his wallet. Spends however much they want without considering the financial limits of their sub. Or the Dom/me ask the sub out to dinner, orders whatever they want, and then tells the sub to pay the entire bill. The Dom/me isn't doing anything dishonest. The sub is willing and committed to playing their role in this aspect of the relationship.

On the other hand, some subs are aroused by the thought of having their Dom/me control their finances. Overseeing how they spend their money. And this can be done by the Dom/me forcing the sub to live on a certain budget, requiring them to cut back or be frugal or change their spending habits. It's not always about give and take. The Dom/me is playing their role in the relationship by helping their sub manage their money more efficiently.

Some Dom/mes require tributes to prove loyalty or as punishment. And some subs give tributes unexpectedly to their Dom/me.
I think financial domination is progressive. You should work your way up to it.

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 561
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 11:47:52 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		This is a good post as well. I think the majority of these UBS who come to the boards complaining, calling us prostitutes, are running into the "fuck you, pay me...then disappear" chicks.

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Profile   Post #: 562
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 2:19:28 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
This is a good post as well. I think the majority of these UBS who come to the boards complaining, calling us prostitutes, are running into the "fuck you, pay me...then disappear" chicks.

As a "newbie" to this whole topic as of this thread here's what I learned along the way.

Originally I would've thought all findommes are in the "fuck you, pay me, maybe I'll talk to you camp". This thread taught me there's... uh... also deeper possible relationships & connections that still have money as a key part of the exchange.

But I'd have a hard time complaining about the first type anyway. The profiles that made me get that stereotype to start with were perfectly explicit. There was no bait & switch. I have to assume that some guy who contacts such a domme is looking for exactly that.

Personally, I think the whole "prostitute" thing is nothing more than sour grapes.


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 2:34:00 PM   
rhymeswithcupid


Posts: 52
Joined: 6/2/2012
Status: offline 		I agree with Jeff.

The "fuck you ... pay me" girls typically do not disappear as long as the payments keep coming in. Just sayin ...

There *is* an exchange of goods or services, if you will. The guys who seek that sort of financial manipulation/domination are specifically seeking a woman who will humiliate, berate and otherwise abuse them in return for their money. Or ... On the flipside ... They're looking for a woman who plays up the spoiled/entitled sugar baby bitch mentality.

Most of these women have no interest in actively trolling for clients either. They put together a profile, website, blog, etc and allow interested parties to come to them. Also, most of the time there is no actual sex involved. Its not a sex for money type of exchange. Therefore, yeah ... Those who run around calling these women prostitutes are either showing their ignorance or they have a serious case of sour grapes.

-confessions of a former sugar baby

ETA

I don't know whether I would consider this type of financial manipulation/domination to be a "legitimate form of D/s" or not ... I don't consider myself to be a dominant by any means however I spent several years making a very good living as an online sugar baby. Most of the men who contacted and payed for my time and interactions self-identified as submissive and often chose to call me things like Mistress, Miss, Ma'am, etc. I personally feel that the activities we engage in are legitimate if those who are involved feel they are legitimate. In other words, if giving someone my money in return for them treating me like shit makes me feel all warm and tingly and super submissive, then I'd say thats a legitimate form of D/s and power exchange FOR ME. It may or may not be the same FOR YOU.

< Message edited by rhymeswithcupid -- 1/1/2013 2:38:35 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 3:59:00 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for that version of how you do things. I agree with you as well. I think the men that seek out those types of Dommes (or what ever name they label themselves as) are looking for just that.
Jeff, I like that...sour grapes. And I'm glad we expanded your ideas of what fin Dommes are about, and the differences between us.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 4:23:45 PM   
txslave28


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/22/2009
Status: offline 		i belong to TNDommeK and i tribute weekly to make my Mistress happy. i do tasks for Her online when She needs me. i have never been into the whole financial slave thing, but i found Her and Her profile explained what type of Domme She was. i wanted to belong to Her, and i understand what i must do to be Her pet. i enjoy making Her happy with gifts and tributes. She keeps an eye on all My financial things, She knows my bills, my spending, etc

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Profile   Post #: 566
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 4:31:46 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I think the majority of these UBS who come to the boards complaining, calling us prostitutes, are running into the "fuck you, pay me...then disappear" chicks.

Or:

"Damn dude, you sound so creepy I wouldn't dominate you even if you paid me, and I'm a cash princess."

"Oh yeah? Fuck you then, you whore bitch. I wasn't interested in your fat ass anyway. Now I'm going to post about you on the boards and then you'll be sorry."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 567
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 4:55:51 PM   
jj292


Posts: 100
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thing is though... 99.9% of financial dominants are female. 99.9% of the subs are male.

Has a financial domme ever had a female sub?

I think in practically every other kink in BDSM, either gender plays either role.

(in reply to rhymeswithcupid)
Profile   Post #: 568
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 4:59:34 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I think the majority of these UBS who come to the boards complaining, calling us prostitutes, are running into the "fuck you, pay me...then disappear" chicks.

Or:

"Damn dude, you sound so creepy I wouldn't dominate you even if you paid me, and I'm a cash princess."

"Oh yeah? Fuck you then, you whore bitch. I wasn't interested in your fat ass anyway. Now I'm going to post about you on the boards and then you'll be sorry."


I think you might be right,lol.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 569
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 6:30:31 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I think the majority of these UBS who come to the boards complaining, calling us prostitutes, are running into the "fuck you, pay me...then disappear" chicks.

Or:

"Damn dude, you sound so creepy I wouldn't dominate you even if you paid me, and I'm a cash princess."

"Oh yeah? Fuck you then, you whore bitch. I wasn't interested in your fat ass anyway. Now I'm going to post about you on the boards and then you'll be sorry."


I think you might be right,lol.


lol, I admit I've been there... dude, this findom and pro wouldn't touch you no matter how much money was involved. With of course, that response.

Actually, that's been said a few times on these boards haha.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 1/1/2013 6:31:00 PM >

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(in reply to TNDommeK)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 6:47:39 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

Thing is though... 99.9% of financial dominants are female. 99.9% of the subs are male.

Has a financial domme ever had a female sub?

I think in practically every other kink in BDSM, either gender plays either role.


There ARE female financial subs all over the place, some right here on CM. I have never personally had a female sub of any kind, but I can think of 2 Dommes that currently have female finsubs.

(in reply to jj292)
Profile   Post #: 571
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 6:50:08 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: txslave28

i belong to TNDommeK and i tribute weekly to make my Mistress happy. i do tasks for Her online when She needs me. i have never been into the whole financial slave thing, but i found Her and Her profile explained what type of Domme She was. i wanted to belong to Her, and i understand what i must do to be Her pet. i enjoy making Her happy with gifts and tributes. She keeps an eye on all My financial things, She knows my bills, my spending, etc



I think it's great that you stepped forward! I wish there were more like you.

(in reply to txslave28)
Profile   Post #: 572
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/1/2013 7:57:15 PM   
rhymeswithcupid


Posts: 52
Joined: 6/2/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

Thing is though... 99.9% of financial dominants are female. 99.9% of the subs are male.

Has a financial domme ever had a female sub?

I think in practically every other kink in BDSM, either gender plays either role.


Ironically, for much of the time that I was working as an online sugar baby, I was also financially submissive to a RT dom. I didn't give him my money so he would humiliate, degrade, berate me or anything like that. My relationship with him was nothing like the relationships my clients had with me. I lived with him and he controlled the finances of the household therefore he controlled my money ... I was given a weekly allotment for small personal things I might need but if I wanted to purchase something major or even to buy something for him, I had to seek and gain permission to do so.

_____________________________

puppy girl ღ

I am good, but I'm not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small pup in a big world trying to find someone to love. ^.^

Got my profile back! (aka inumini)

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Profile   Post #: 573
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/3/2013 7:34:39 PM   
alildifferent


Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		When you gave your money and expected something in return an the person taking it laughed at you, it used to be called swindling. If it was sexual in nature and certain expectations were met for money it used to be called prostitution. While I don't begrudge those who do this willingly their fun if they enjoy it, I don't think either should be called domination. I think it's a way to try and sugar coat something and make it more acceptable to society. Ironic that domination is so much more acceptable than either prostitution or swindling since the lines have blurred so easily. All three are naughty in their own way. It's just that something in me rebels against either being refferred to domination. This from someone who believes prostitution should be legalized.

(in reply to ARIES83)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/3/2013 7:39:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rhymeswithcupid

The "fuck you ... pay me" girls typically do not disappear as long as the payments keep coming in. Just sayin ...


Actually, they do...in a way. There's blog of one of the "fuck you ... pay me" girls that I read and pretty much after she's paid, she will change the deal or say "fuck you, I want more".

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/3/2013 7:42:17 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alildifferent

When you gave your money and expected something in return an the person taking it laughed at you, it used to be called swindling. If it was sexual in nature and certain expectations were met for money it used to be called prostitution. While I don't begrudge those who do this willingly their fun if they enjoy it, I don't think either should be called domination. I think it's a way to try and sugar coat something and make it more acceptable to society. Ironic that domination is so much more acceptable than either prostitution or swindling since the lines have blurred so easily. All three are naughty in their own way. It's just that something in me rebels against either being refferred to domination. This from someone who believes prostitution should be legalized.


All your post really tells me is that you don't really know what it is that a financial dominant really does. We don't just sit around and swindle money from people, laugh at them and call it a day.

(in reply to alildifferent)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/5/2013 11:44:42 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		This.^

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 577
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/5/2013 12:42:58 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: txslave28
i belong to TNDommeK and i tribute weekly to make my Mistress happy. i do tasks for Her online when She needs me. i have never been into the whole financial slave thing, but i found Her and Her profile explained what type of Domme She was. i wanted to belong to Her, and i understand what i must do to be Her pet. i enjoy making Her happy with gifts and tributes. She keeps an eye on all My financial things, She knows my bills, my spending, etc

Thank you for coming and posting that. If you're read this thread then I'm sure you understand that many think you are either being taken advantage of or else sick in the head yourself. Personally, that makes about as much sense to me as someone trying to "save" Carol. I hope that you'll continue to read and when someone posts one of their speculations about fin-subs you'll respond back with some factual data. Yeah, I know it's hard to be in the firing line but I always like real facts over random speculations from folks who have no knowledge of the topic.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to txslave28)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/5/2013 12:44:43 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder


quote:

ORIGINAL: txslave28

i belong to TNDommeK and i tribute weekly to make my Mistress happy. i do tasks for Her online when She needs me. i have never been into the whole financial slave thing, but i found Her and Her profile explained what type of Domme She was. i wanted to belong to Her, and i understand what i must do to be Her pet. i enjoy making Her happy with gifts and tributes. She keeps an eye on all My financial things, She knows my bills, my spending, etc



I think it's great that you stepped forward! I wish there were more like you.


Your journal is interesting, too.


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(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 579
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 1/5/2013 2:17:16 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		How so Misstoyouredux?

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 580
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