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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 1:52:50 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Actually I think you have got it really tough.

If I went and looked at Dommes profiles on this site, I bet I can guarantee that 9 out of 10 would be looking for pay pigs and a very high percentage of them will be 18 year old's trying to look serious whilst the boyfriend takes a snapshot with her mobile phone. Its so amateur that its laughable and looks so greedy that its cringe worthy.

How the hell does a serious fin Domme like yourself ever get taken seriously with all this going on around you?

I'm glad you educated a couple of guys but I hope they now understand the difference between someone like you and the silly opportunists that try it on here.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1461
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 1:54:43 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Jeff, I can see where some people could lump this into the same category bc of a majority of people and how they conduct fin Domme. But not all of us do things by the book.

Sure, you've illustrated that point clearly which is why I now have two different findomme definitions in my head. That's not unusual though, I have at least 3 very distinct definitions of both "dominance" and "submission". It's just important to understand which one you're talking about.

Honesty, what you do (from what little I understand of it in detail) doesn't sound any different from things I do regularly with Carol and other people. Heck, I'm wrapping my fingers around the finances of a sub I only know from online as we speak. I'm doing it because she wants some financial help and I like her and I can work that dom/sub angle to help push her in the places which will be hard for her. I won't be getting anything out of it myself but still, you could call it "financial domination" if you wanted. I'd be more likely to call it, "a friend helping another friend where there happens to be a D/s dynamic in play".


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1462
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 8:18:52 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Technically that would be financial domination..so to speak.
So welcome to prostitution,lol.
Totally kidding.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1463
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 8:30:46 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
So welcome to prostitution,lol.
Totally kidding.

Oh it is SOOOO tempting to ask the mods to change my tag to "Male Prostitute" or maybe "FinDom" :)

Sadly, LadyPact was right... the twin tags between Carol and I are, in fact the heart of our relationship, our dynamic, and our very selves.

Is this a fine time to mention that I also commanded a sub to strip naked for me over webcam? OK fine, it was only a headshot and so "stripping naked" amounted to "remove hair band". The other bits of nudity were not visible to me. But it was SO worthwhile just so I could say I'd done that :) I have an odd sense of humor.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 8/29/2013 8:33:26 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1464
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 9:18:58 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		FR
I think what Jeff described that he is doing online could be
called financial domination. But this sort of financial domination
couldn't be construed as sex work as Jeff is receiving no
financial gain from it. There are relationships where Masters
and Mistress financially dominate slaves they have a personal
relationship with which I'm defining as a offline relationship.
They control the slaves money and dictate how it's spent etc.
They could even benefit materially from the arrangement but
I wouldn't call that sex work either.

I do think online fin dommes are a type of pro dommes.
I think pro dommes are sex workers. Not prostitutes.
Prostitutes are sex workers but not all sex workers are
prostitutes. Strippers, pso's, cam girls, anyone in porn
film or modeling, topless dancers, people who sext for
pay even people who write erotica are all various types
of sex workers.

I don't doubt some online fin dommes get pleasure in
what they do but unless the money is going to charity
I think it qualifies as work, sex work. Not prostitution.
How successful a line of sex work it is I haven't a clue.
Obviously, there are some who are under the impression
it's quite lucrative and easy peasy to do. There are people
who probably assume that about all sex work. But I think
any sex worker making a decent living at whatever branch
she( or he) is in is working hard and bringing some skills
to the table.


_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1465
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 9:39:43 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple
I think what Jeff described that he is doing online could be called financial domination. But this sort of financial domination couldn't be construed as sex work as Jeff is receiving no financial gain from it.

Uh, more significantly, you couldn't really call it sex work because there's no sex, sexuality, kinkiness, or anything of that ilk involved. If we were going to call it sex work then we might as well call my financial advisor a sex worker too :) Which doesn't one bit change how funny I find it that now I'm a FinDom :) YAY Can i be one of the K crowd?

quote:

There are relationships where Masters and Mistress financially dominate slaves they have a personal relationship with which I'm defining as a offline relationship. They control the slaves money and dictate how it's spent etc. They could even benefit materially from the arrangement but I wouldn't call that sex work either.

Yeah, I tend to call it "marriage"

quote:

I don't doubt some online fin dommes get pleasure in what they do but unless the money is going to charity I think it qualifies as work, sex work. Not prostitution.

And just so nobody misconstrues my earlier comments, at a legal level I totally and completely agree and, in fact, feel compelled to point out K's example (and damnit, where'd that other findomme I liked so well go?) I don't have an entirely clear picture of what she does but in reading her descriptions it didn't trip any flags in me at all and I'm pretty vanilla in my sensibilities about most things. I would not call my understanding of K's relationships "sex work". I filed it in my head more as an actual relationship with a money manager.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 1466
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 9:56:58 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		I haven't read the whole thread so I can't comment
on her personal situation except to say I think she's
a very nice person and gives all indications of being
a truthful one.

I didn't mean to imply you were sexing up with the online
sub sorry if it came off that way. My point is there are
different kinds of financial domination in my mind. Some
come under the umbrella of a personal relationship and
is just one way overall domination is applied. Other types
of financial domination seem more commercially centered.
And there is no stigma attached when I say sex work. It's
a perfectly legit way to make a living as far as I'm concerned.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1467
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/29/2013 10:07:49 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple
I haven't read the whole thread so I can't comment on her personal situation except to say I think she's a very nice person and gives all indications of being a truthful one.

Well, if I was in her locale I'd be sipping wine on her patio that's for sure and given that I'm VERY cautious about my social circles that is high praise from me.

quote:

I didn't mean to imply you were sexing up with the online sub sorry if it came off that way.

Hahahah, not to worry. I'm deliberately warping one situation into another just because I find that sort of thing humorous. In truth most people would call what's going on between me and this sub, "A friend who happens to have better math & money skills trying to help another friend." But twisting that into "FinDom" or even better "Male Prostitute" is just my cup o' tea. Look, I'm such a butterflies and rainbows sort of guy I have to latch onto any stray scraps of "dark & dangerous" I can or else any pretense of domliness I might ever hope to have is a lost cause. Truth is this little tangent on this thread has been making me laugh since it came up.

quote:

My point is there are different kinds of financial domination in my mind. Some come under the umbrella of a personal relationship and is just one way overall domination is applied. Other types of financial domination seem more commercially centered. And there is no stigma attached when I say sex work. It's a perfectly legit way to make a living as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, that's about where my understanding has evolved to also.


< Message edited by JeffBC -- 8/29/2013 10:10:05 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 1468
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 2:17:45 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple


I don't doubt some online fin dommes get pleasure in
what they do but unless the money is going to charity
I think it qualifies as work, sex work. Not prostitution.
How successful a line of sex work it is I haven't a clue.
Obviously, there are some who are under the impression
it's quite lucrative and easy peasy to do. There are people
who probably assume that about all sex work. But I think
any sex worker making a decent living at whatever branch
she( or he) is in is working hard and bringing some skills
to the table.



What if some of the money I've collected has gone to charity? I give to St.. Jude ...a lot.
Am I still a sex worker?

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 1469
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 2:38:13 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
What if some of the money I've collected has gone to charity? I give to St.. Jude ...a lot.
Am I still a sex worker?

... not in my book but Winterapple may be missing some of the context. As I loosely understand things there is always a relationship I'd call substantive in play with you. That takes it out of the "work" category for me all on it's own and puts it solidly into the "alternative relationship" category.

Looking at it differently, take the sub I'm currently starting on the finances with. Whether or not she sent me some gift no sane person would call it any sort of work... sex or otherwise. There is a genuine and solid friends relationship in play. As I just said on a different thread, "context changes everything".

PS: Now that I'm a FinDom I'm still waiting to find out if I can be in the K crowd :) How long is the approval loop on that?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1470
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 2:48:32 AM   
blackblur


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/25/2013
Status: offline 		I think it's ridiculous. That being said, it must be profitable and people must want it because there's so many of these damn "Tribute/Tithe/Pay Pig" profiles around. I'm about to create a fake account just to see how much money they must be making.

Or maybe I'll just take a nap.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1471
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 4:11:18 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple


I don't doubt some online fin dommes get pleasure in
what they do but unless the money is going to charity
I think it qualifies as work, sex work. Not prostitution.
How successful a line of sex work it is I haven't a clue.
Obviously, there are some who are under the impression
it's quite lucrative and easy peasy to do. There are people
who probably assume that about all sex work. But I think
any sex worker making a decent living at whatever branch
she( or he) is in is working hard and bringing some skills
to the table.



What if some of the money I've collected has gone to charity? I give to St.. Jude ...a lot.
Am I still a sex worker?


This girl thinks it should ALL go to Charity...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1472
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 4:17:09 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
This girl thinks it should ALL go to Charity...

Bwahahahaha... This boy thinks that that girl should get a better photographer.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 1473
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 4:20:19 AM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple


I don't doubt some online fin dommes get pleasure in
what they do but unless the money is going to charity
I think it qualifies as work, sex work. Not prostitution.
How successful a line of sex work it is I haven't a clue.
Obviously, there are some who are under the impression
it's quite lucrative and easy peasy to do. There are people
who probably assume that about all sex work. But I think
any sex worker making a decent living at whatever branch
she( or he) is in is working hard and bringing some skills
to the table.



What if some of the money I've collected has gone to charity? I give to St.. Jude ...a lot.
Am I still a sex worker?


If I were doing it and keeping any of the money I would call
it sex work. But that's just me I'm also not a domme so the
only reason I would be attempting to do it would be for the
money.

If you're doing it solely for the kink and the money is just a
a happy bonus then I guess it's not sex work. I don't know what
your personal situation is but if you don't consider it sex work
then I'll certainly take your word for it. I shouldn't haven't
lumped all online fin dommes together as one group. People
are individuals when it comes to what motivates them, what
pleases them and what they get satisfaction from.


I do consider pro dommes as sex workers. Not prostitutes but
sex workers. I also think that some fin dommes fall under the
category of pro dommes. Some not all. I don't think calling
something sex work or someone a sex worker is derogatory.

If my thoughts on the subject offend you or any other fin domme
I apologize as that wasn't my intent. My thoughts on the subject
are just that my thoughts.

As I said I think financial domination can be either a part of
a personal relationship of some sort or it can be strictly
commerce. I think either one is a personal choice that I have no
problems with whatsoever. I don't understand the pearl clutching
either provokes.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1474
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 4:25:17 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I agree that it's sex work. (and I do it!) When someone is getting their rocks off doing it or thinking about it, or talking about it, and someone else is getting paid, it's sex work.
I doubt there are any fin doms who are unaware that the guys get off on this. It's just another fetish.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 1475
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 5:09:51 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I know a couple of Dommes who are hooked up with very rich submissive guys. They enjoy his money, enjoy being spoilt, set up and molly coddled. He gets something out of it and she gets something out of it and alls well that ends well. The difference between these women and fin Dommes is, they live with their partner, they have sex with their partner and they physically and verbally dominate their partner. Would they stick around if the guy was to lose his money? I doubt it because that was never part of the agreement. Are they sex workers? not in my opinion but I'm sure they are to many people.

Interestingly I haven't yet met an online fin Domme who is looking for or found a full time pay pig to live with her and set up home with her. If this is a kink on her part, then why isn't she looking for it full time?

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 1476
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 10:12:40 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		In response to winterapple and blushes: I agree. It is sex work. I was just asking about the charity thing, but I really do give to charity.

Maria: I would say I like full time. I don't have one set up in home bc I'm married, and don't think hubby will appreciate that, lol. BUT, my fin subs are full time for me. I use them for domestic things as well as financial. Well, the ones who live around here. My goals for my fin subs is that I keep them forever. The longest I ever kept on was around 8 years. Til he moved :(

Jeff, you are now officially in the K Crowd. *cue the horns*

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 1477
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 10:33:59 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
In response to winterapple and blushes: I agree. It is sex work.

well damnit... now I'm going to have to go back through all the posts on this thread and correct my somewhat fuzzy view because honestly, I'm still hearing too much "relationship" involved in this to be comfortable with a "work" categorization. For me, the key element (other than for tax reporting purposes) is not the money, it's the presence or absence of a substantive relationship which I'd probably measure for this purpose on the emotional stuff rather than on things like "how many times a period do you see each other" or similar measures.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1478
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 11:05:58 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Oh sorry I was referring to the pro Domme part.
I should have made that more clear.

I do not think fin Domme has any thing to do with sex, or sex work....on my end. Dominating ones finances aren't sexual to me at all. I enjoy the gifts and money. Now are there fin subs who I dominate in other ways? Yes. Do I get turned on by that? Yes. But just purely speaking on financial domination.... My hoo haa doesn't get wet from making someone more be more responsible with their money. I do get excited when I get my cut or gifts....but not that kind of excited. I know the fin sub does...which to me makes it a legit kink. People have all sorts of things that turn their wheels.



< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 8/30/2013 11:13:19 AM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1479
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/30/2013 11:12:09 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Oh sorry I was referring to the pro Domme part.
I should have made that more clear.

Ooooooh... well yeah, that'd make a ton of sense. But for your fin-d/s stuff am I remembering it correctly that there are non-trivial emotional bonds involved??? Things that most people would recognize as "relationship" if they just saw you two in public somewhere and didn't get the whole BDSM subtext? I'm not demanding "marriage" here... but even something akin to "solid friendship" would move the whole thing into "alternative relationship" for me without a moment's thought.

edited to clarify
Carol and I don't freak out vanilla people even when I tell them the whole BDSM subtext because we bleed of "happy married couple" vibes and those vibes carry the day more than any scary BDSM concepts. So in your case, would a vanilla person read the vibes as "relationship" of some sort?

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 8/30/2013 11:15:57 AM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1480
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