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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 9:10:46 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Exactly. Thus the reason why most (and I hate to use this word) real dominant women won't be controlled by money. I say up front that I don't care about how much they offer, if they're paying or whatever. I'm the Domme, they don't like it...don't come see me. It's so easy to find a Domme who is into the same things.

Yes I charge for sessions, but it's gonna be what I enjoy. I have and will turn down money.
I think that's one of the things that keep my slaves coming back...the fact that their money doesn't control me, the fact that I don't need them.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to SunTzuSwe)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 9:20:46 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I think that's one of the things that keep my slaves coming back...the fact that their money doesn't control me, the fact that I don't need them.

As an interesting aside, I suspect this is also true of Carol and I. Make no mistake, I need HER. But I do not need her obedience. I can plan and execute my goals just fine without her help. She just got "tossed out of the boat" last night due to inadequate attentiveness and me being too busy to deal with some sort of lame-assed corrective action. Wanna bet she's gonna swim hard to get back in the boat?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1642
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 10:50:22 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Yup, it's like drugs. When they fall out of grace, so to speak, they do what it takes to get back in good.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1643
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 1:38:22 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder
I get it. "I'll pay if you force me/make me do [insert desired activity here]." If that's all it is, it's not someone being dominated, it's like personalized porn at that point.

As a total tangent, I like seeing you back.


Well, thanks. :)

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1644
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 4:44:36 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		No.

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 1645
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/20/2013 6:22:26 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Lookie, you don't like seeing Allison back? I do.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 1646
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/21/2013 6:35:48 AM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		Who's Allison?

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1647
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/21/2013 7:22:10 AM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Lookie, you don't like seeing Allison back? I do.



Thanks, K. =)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Who's Allison?



She's someone who is completely insignificant to you.


Okay, carry on! :)

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 1648
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/21/2013 1:22:47 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I was being sarcastic Lookie. :)


I knew you were saying no about the thread, about every ten or twenty comments you'll say that, and just felt like messin with ya. :)

But, Allison is pretty hot.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 1649
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/26/2013 2:47:26 AM   
jj292


Posts: 100
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		I've gone back and forth with the whole findomme thing. It's been beaten to death but it's a debate in the lifestyle that will go on and on.

Part of me says that two consenting adults can do what they want with each other. It's really none of my business. But another part of me says that any relationship of any kind that is purely focused on money is bad news. It just usually is. And that kind of thing shouldnt be part of bdsm. I know people make money on BDSM, but the relationship between a dom and a sub should not be a rooted in money.

BDSM is about power exchange. That's the core of the lifestyle. A findomme will rush to tell you though that money is power. And that the sub is exchanging power by giving up his money. I'll admit that is true. However, that argument quickly falls apart because the vast majority of findommes will only take on wealthy men. Their websites will come right out and say not to even bother contacting them if you can't support their lavish lifestyle. A wealthy man throwing $1,000 of a very lucrative salary at you because you look pretty is not power exchange.

For most findoms, they are basically sugar babies that don't even have to go out on the date. It is what it is. Now if that findomme is managing or controlling that disposable income of the sub's, then then you have a valid argument. But even in that case 95% of findoms aren't going to give someone the time of day unless they have huge sums of money to give away. So money is still the primary motivator.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/26/2013 6:00:32 AM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

I've gone back and forth with the whole findomme thing. It's been beaten to death but it's a debate in the lifestyle that will go on and on.

Part of me says that two consenting adults can do what they want with each other. It's really none of my business. But another part of me says that any relationship of any kind that is purely focused on money is bad news. It just usually is. And that kind of thing shouldnt be part of bdsm. I know people make money on BDSM, but the relationship between a dom and a sub should not be a rooted in money.


We can hash out the semantics all day, but a findom relationship can also be rooted in kink (and vanilla) just like any other kinky relationship.. That kink just happens to be money. It sounds similar to rooted in money, but it's really not the same.

quote:

BDSM is about power exchange. That's the core of the lifestyle. A findomme will rush to tell you though that money is power. And that the sub is exchanging power by giving up his money. I'll admit that is true. However, that argument quickly falls apart because the vast majority of findommes will only take on wealthy men. Their websites will come right out and say not to even bother contacting them if you can't support their lavish lifestyle. A wealthy man throwing $1,000 of a very lucrative salary at you because you look pretty is not power exchange.


Well, it's nice to know that I'm in the minority then because I'm not exclusive to wealthy men. To be honest, I prefer men that don't have money coming in so fast they don't know what to do with it because while everyone appreciates money, wealthy men won't feel any power exchange over 20 bucks whereas other men will. Also, some of us don't have websites or lavish lifestyles, that's just stereotyping.

quote:

For most findoms, they are basically sugar babies that don't even have to go out on the date. It is what it is. Now if that findomme is managing or controlling that disposable income of the sub's, then then you have a valid argument. But even in that case 95% of findoms aren't going to give someone the time of day unless they have huge sums of money to give away.


95% of findommes, huh? I'm curious where you get your numbers.

quote:

So money is still the primary motivator.


Just like with any other relationship, vanilla is at the root. Kink is secondary. In this case, kink just happens to be money. It's not as black and white as you're making it out to be.

(in reply to jj292)
Profile   Post #: 1651
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/26/2013 10:11:52 AM   
jj292


Posts: 100
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder


Well, it's nice to know that I'm in the minority then because I'm not exclusive to wealthy men. To be honest, I prefer men that don't have money coming in so fast they don't know what to do with it because while everyone appreciates money, wealthy men won't feel any power exchange over 20 bucks whereas other men will. Also, some of us don't have websites or lavish lifestyles, that's just stereotyping.



That's the point i was trying to make. Someone who has whatever amount after living expenses, even if very small amounts....And they give that to a findomme to control, that's a big sacrifice. That is a power exchange there. In any 24/7 BDSM relationship of the real world, the dominant is usually controlling the finances in some way anyway. So online findom is simply a offshoot of that particular control. I can understand that.

However, I dont think this is true with the majority of findommes out there. I think most just are young things that want just lots of money tossed at them and then take the money and run.

If someone is just throwing out money because they got so much they don't know what to do with it...I dont find any kink in that. That's not a sacrifice. I know relationships like that exist. But that's not a power exchange. If anything, the person giving the money remains in complete control in that scenario.

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 1652
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/26/2013 3:02:39 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Those are what we actual fin dommes call fin ducks. They have no interest in the actual kink itself, they are just looking for lump sums and a quick buck.

There are very few of us who are actually into this for the kink.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to jj292)
Profile   Post #: 1653
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 9:21:56 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		It's the capitalist way. I'm amazed how long you've been keeping this thread going.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1654
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 1:23:15 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
It's the capitalist way. I'm amazed how long you've been keeping this thread going.

Hey, credit where credit is due. I helped keep the thread going too!

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 1655
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 1:27:28 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		TNDK,
How does one tell the dif? Do real fin dommes ask for smaller, more doable amounts of money, but more often? Do the fin ducks ask for large lump sums, and is that a warning that they might not show up, a kind of red flag?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1656
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 2:44:26 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

TNDK,
How does one tell the dif? Do real fin dommes ask for smaller, more doable amounts of money, but more often? Do the fin ducks ask for large lump sums, and is that a warning that they might not show up, a kind of red flag?


I know you didn't ask me, but the ones that K calls fin ducks are basically the 'fuck you, pay me' types. The way they speak, their profiles and their attitudes should all be red flags. I know it's the internet and it's hard to decipher intent via text, but they're pretty easily identified.

If the first thing they talk about is how you need to pay them and they *might* acknowledge you, that should be a giant red flag.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 1657
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 6:05:01 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

It's the capitalist way. I'm amazed how long you've been keeping this thread going.

We try to keep this thread going so other fin threads can't be started.


Capitalist...with kink
Hey, I might add that to my sig line. I like it.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 1658
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/27/2013 6:06:57 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

TNDK,
How does one tell the dif? Do real fin dommes ask for smaller, more doable amounts of money, but more often? Do the fin ducks ask for large lump sums, and is that a warning that they might not show up, a kind of red flag?


There are different types of fin Domme. The amount of money has nothing to do with what type of Domme.
The ducks usually promise tales of meeting or maybe they don't, I don't know. I do know guys like them as well, otherwise, the wouldn't be searching for them. But that's not what I am.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 1659
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/30/2013 2:10:15 AM   
subvers1ve


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/26/2013
Status: offline 		I've never been a big fan of this - pro-dommes are one thing - a girl who's just stumbled across a good way to make money out of unsuspecting men is another ...still each to their own I guess

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1660
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