JeffBC
Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cloudboy
This is a weak response by you, especially the part about comparing Carole to the lack of male subs who post about this (0). (As in active happy, fulfilling participation.) What would be an apt comparison would be a dearth of femsubs posting about male domination, but that's not the case.
Fair enough, pointn conceded.
Also, people who say that selling services or hiring yourself out - does not equate to kink - are not exactly acting like intolerant assholes. They are making a highly rational, valid point.
You and I obviously disagree on the word "rational". I see it as a highly subjective and emotional point. The entire framework you present it as, "selling services" indicates the bias from the beginning. I, for one, am disinclined to judge what is an is not a "kink" for other people I have never seen in face to face interaction. You need to remember that more than a few people here on collarme have judged my control of Carol to be a kink when I have asserted that it is not. In other words, I have personal experience with people making this judgement incorrectly. I understand that it is their own bias driving the judgement rather than anything even remotely resembling factual (seeing as I have all the facts and they have none). People who make such judgements habitually get hidden by me. It speaks of a lack of empathy and knowledge that I disdain. It tells me that they have no useful input into a discussion about the breadth of human relationships.
If I had to guess the answer to my own question it is that men are ashamed that they have to give favors or pay for female attention and the ones drawn to blackmail or monetary exploitation keep quiet about it the same way a heroin addict treads quietly about what he does. I have seen no evidence to the contrary on these fronts.
Ahhh, so that was the question. I agree to a point. There are kinks I don't talk about here also. Even for a reasonably self-confident person there is the question of "why rile up the natives for no good purpose?" Where I disagree is, again, with your bias. What makes you so sure these men "are ashamed" and "have to" do these things? I suspect that some fin-subs (perhaps even most of them) might fit that description (note the 4 qualifiers in that very short sentence). What I doubt strongly is that all fin-subs fit it. It's akin to saying that all pretty young women who marry older, wealthier men are whores. There's some truth in that statement but reality tends to work against sweeping statements like that. The "whore" categorization is biased and there are definitely some who married the guy for reasons I would approve of.
quote:
Most of the women who post here about the subject have a promotional agenda. If men are truly interested in something, believe me, women do not have to promote it for them.
I suspect that the state of the economy and the growing rise in poverty in the US is driving people to cash in on whatever they can. Yes, I see the blatant ads dressed up as forum topics also. That's why my viewpoint was originally like yours without all the judgement attached. At least two fin-dommes, however, haven't tripped those triggers in me. Accordingly, my viewpoint has changed and I now subdivide the category.
_____________________________
I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 
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