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RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:29:44 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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FUCKING COMMUNICATION!!!

I think that about sums it up. If only it was as easy to do as it is to say.

In our case the plot is largely the same.

Him: get stressed/grumpy/busy... lets things slack
Her: gets worried that I'm not happy with our dynamic - expresses concerns
Him: backs off even more because the one thing I don't want to tamper with is her ability to choose "freedom".
Her: gets more worried that she's somehow failing to make me as happy as I might be and expresses more concerns.
Him: backs off more

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Post #: 41

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:37:05 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

FUCKING COMMUNICATION!!!

I think that about sums it up. If only it was as easy to do as it is to say.

In our case the plot is largely the same.

Him: get stressed/grumpy/busy... lets things slack
Her: gets worried that I'm not happy with our dynamic - expresses concerns
Him: backs off even more because the one thing I don't want to tamper with is her ability to choose "freedom".
Her: gets more worried that she's somehow failing to make me as happy as I might be and expresses more concerns.
Him: backs off more

Yeah... and I expect that, like with us, the right thing for you to do isn't ever to "back off"... yet... that's the path you tend to lean towards when you get worried about her not "feeling right" in the dynamic.

Which is all so self-evident in hindsight, once you talk about it, but never seems to be the instinctual choice in the moment. It doesn't seem to matter how often I tell him that, when I'm feeling bad/insecure/grumpy/worried/anxious... I need him there more... not less. He always knee jerks the opposite way when he's worried about my wellbeing/happiness.

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I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 42

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:51:11 PM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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wow.. I have been single way too long, I think..

..cuz, seriously, my solution would be a few great, mind-blowing BJs to bring things back into perspective.. Are ya'll trying to tell me that wouldnt work???

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Post #: 43

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:51:24 PM

JeffBC

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Joined: 2/12/2012
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Yeah... and I expect that, like with us, the right thing for you to do isn't ever to "back off"... yet... that's the path you tend to lean towards when you get worried about her not "feeling right" in the dynamic.
I had to do a mental review in my head. For us it was 50/50. I think there's been a total of 4 times this has occurred. The first one was within a month of collaring and I just ignore it as newbie uncertainty. The second and third times were real and of real concern. At least one of those times I was pretty certain that either Carol had to get "internally enslaved" or else I was going to hurt her if we continued. Something was "breaking" inside. She really did need to make a decision to jump off the cliff or not and I really needed to let her do that. I can't remember the 3rd time but I remember it was non-stupid. The fourth was this time and my "backing off" was in label only. By now I've come to understand that we can't back off... at least not enough to change anything significant.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 44

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:53:21 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
..cuz, seriously, my solution would be a few great, mind-blowing BJs to bring things back into perspective.. Are ya'll trying to tell me that wouldnt work???

*laughs* I'm a huge advocate of "a blow job is good for what ails you... pretty much from exhaustion to cancer" In addition I wouldn't want to argue with that proposition anywhere that Ron could see. It might upset his worldview entirely.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 45

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 2:59:15 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I hate when I read the second thread you posted first. I went backwards. Oh well.

*laughs* blew all the humor? Don't worry. I'm pretty annoyed at the miscommunication because it blew all the humor for me too. I was really looking forward to setting her free and watching how that went. Sadly, as it turns out, I think we've both wised up too much for that.

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Post #: 46

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 5:23:57 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I highly recommend an intensive diet of brutal sodomy.
Works wonders for us to remind her of her place :-0

Mind if I quote you on that?

"This is for your own good, dear."

-lol-

IWYW,
— Asswad.

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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Post #: 47

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/30/2012 8:11:47 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I highly recommend an intensive diet of brutal sodomy.
Works wonders for us to remind her of her place :-0

Mind if I quote you on that?

"This is for your own good, dear."

-lol-

IWYW,
— Asswad.

I tell her that all the time.

She'll be screaming bloody hellish crap/thrashing about, making that mewling wounded animal sound I love so much, and I'll pause, kiss her softly, hold her close, stroke her with all my love and affection, then say something like, "This is all to make us a better we, me a better dominant to you, and you a better slave. Besides which, I promised you what would happen way back when you signed up and you wouldn't want me to be a liar now, would you?... Would you?""

Then back to work with the cigarette...

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Post #: 48

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/31/2012 12:22:36 AM

Aswad

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It wasn't her I was planning on quoting you to.

That said, a cigarette isn't what comes to my mind when people mention brutal sodomy. -lol-

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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Post #: 49

RE: Well damn. Carol slipped her collar again. - 8/31/2012 9:20:31 AM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I wish you the best and I'll miss you.

This is your lucky day! Later last night Carol had apparently given the state of her freedom all the pondering it required (you'd think something like that might take more than 24 hours) and determined that reinforcing our dynamic is the way to go. *blinks* ??huh?? That whole gig about you chicks being mysterious and inscrutable? I've never bought that but man... how you get from "maybe I don't want to be owned" to "let's make me more owned" in 24 hours is, if nothing else, a serious head fake.

That, of course, brings up yet a new problem. We don't have a punishment dynamic but now that I own her again I have to give careful consideration to the fact that I was planning on having 1-2 weeks of fun with this and she just ruined it. Maybe I should post out on general and solicit for ways to punish my slave?