RE: Do you read profiles? (Full Version)

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MistressDemeter9 -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 4:13:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

If something on a profile grabs my attention in the preview pane, I will go ahead and read the whole profile until I come to an obvious deal breaker (Usually, it's that I smoke or I'm polyamorous).

I have to admit that I have read profiles even after such a deal breaker presents itself but something in the journals has caught my eye. What's pretty ironic to me in this situation is I have sent a message that reads something:

"Dear Xxxxxxx;

I read your journal post about the _________ and I have to tell you; I agree, completely. It's amazing to me that __________ ...

I enjoyed your journal quite a bit and I look forward to reading more in the future



Closing"

So? Nice enough message? What's ironic is that about 80% of the time, the person will look at my profile and respond with: "I don't tolerate poly. Good luck in your search" if they respond, at all.

So, you can see how some people might become fatigued with putting some effort into a message with little to no return. Courtesy is a rare thing, now-a-days. I understand that ladies are inundated on sites like this but when one comes across a message that has obviously taken even a modicum of thought and time, perhaps an equally measured response is called for.




Peace and comfort,



Michael


Very true. There's always two sides to situations like this. I have spoken with a few people who have read my profile but then don't bother to read the messages I send back to them. It makes me wonder how committed to any possible relationship they might be if they aren't willing to pay attention to what the other person is saying.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 4:35:39 PM)

I can't comment on this because, I didn't read your profile.

It's not that I didn't care...it was more along the lines of not giving a shit.



LadyPact -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 4:42:32 PM)

Nope. I don't read profiles. I tend to get to know people more from their forums posts than anything else. Nine times out of ten, if I start a conversation with someone, it's from something that they said on a thread that I might want to ask them about or drop them a line to show general support. Heck, I have people that I've known in the physical world for YEARS that I've never read their profile.

Considering how many people I've seen around the forums, known in real life, and all of the other stuff, I'm just not going to spend that much time profile reading. Sorry if this disappoints or isn't up to other people's standards.



FullCircle -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 4:46:39 PM)

I've always found that expression strange as if it was once customary to give shit as a present. Happy birthday and here's something I made earlier.

As I liked your profile I thought I'd squat down over here and squeeze one out as a gift instead of one of those M&S gift cards.


edited because I found the O in found.



littlewonder -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 7:26:10 PM)

Yes it's common.

I delete the email.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/1/2012 8:37:23 PM)

No not really. When I am cleaning out mail it shows me people profiles though.

And lol I have gotten some hilarious mail.



MistressDemeter9 -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 12:07:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Nope. I don't read profiles. I tend to get to know people more from their forums posts than anything else. Nine times out of ten, if I start a conversation with someone, it's from something that they said on a thread that I might want to ask them about or drop them a line to show general support. Heck, I have people that I've known in the physical world for YEARS that I've never read their profile.

Considering how many people I've seen around the forums, known in real life, and all of the other stuff, I'm just not going to spend that much time profile reading. Sorry if this disappoints or isn't up to other people's standards.


That's fair enough, but you have used another method of getting to know people before messaging them. There are a lot of people who just dive in then get irritated because they aren't looking for the same things.



doctorgrey -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 12:19:59 PM)

No

DrG



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 12:23:52 PM)

~FR~

Yes, I do read profiles. As a matter of fact, I just read yours. If someone new writes me a cmail, I will read their profile before reading their letter, to give me an idea of who's writing to me. When I read their cmail to me, it's readily apparent whether or not they've read my own profile. I've pretty much resigned myself to the idea that most people on here don't read profiles though. It's just....the way it is.

NBMG



DianeB269 -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 5:21:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDemeter9


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fp4

Never have. They're all the same.



Really?

Doesn't seem that way to me.


I'd say 80% of the people that send me messages here do not read my profile...



SlipSlidingAway -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 5:30:53 PM)

I read profiles if I am going to contact someone or if I have read interesting posts here and want to know more about the poster.

However, most people that contact me on the other side don't bother.  It's sort of obvious from the "Have you found your Dom yet?" questions that seem to cover 90% or more of my mail.  Given my profile it's a dead give away they did not bother to even peek.  It usually means that they get deleted without a reply.  LOL, but not until after I read their profile.  I'm always intrigued to find out what sort of person contacts a person without caring who they are... 

And yep, as the general consensus seems to point to, it's generally those looking for a quickie!!!



txdiamond68 -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 5:45:28 PM)

I do read profiles, and I expect anyone sending me mail out of the blue to read mine. If they haven't then they get the old delete-a-boot. I don't just browse profiles for the hell of it, and I am too gun-shy to write to anyone with an interesting profile simply because I don't want them to think I want to 'hook up' or whatever.

*shrugs*

I come here to read the forums (I lurk a lot) and sometimes chatter in the chatroom with some nice folks. I find reading the forums interesting and every now and then I get a gem I can use in my process of healing.

Blessed be,

~t



AFNI -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 7:25:40 PM)

This is a really interesting post. As interesting as it moved me to write my first message ever. Someone mentioned some other pointing out "the other face" (or something like that, sorry writing from memory, not quoting exactly) of the "problem". I think the problem isn't twofold but manyfold. As many as persons gathered in a group. The real problem is the lack of communicational and emotional skills. This problem is growing. I'm not speciallist on the topic, but I can see the consequences every day, because this problem affects every kind of human interaction or relationship, not only the virtual ones. Some people is such a great "perceiver" (if such a word exists) that just peeking a face pic they know everything about that person. Some others (the vast majority) just aren't. This last case isn't intrinsically bad if the person is conscious about his lack of perception and make an effort to gather the info about the other person using (for example, but not limited to) the profile, specially if he or she has an interes in start an affective relationship. I guess such consciousness is related to lots of factors. This is basically a dating site which is also usefull as a "meeting point" for people sharing a common interest in bdsm. But....why a person use such a site like this to date people instead of date him/her "on the street"? There are lots of answers to this question depending on the person, but for most of them applies "because he/she is too dumb that can't even socialize" (I apologize for the use of harsh terms). What kind of behavior do you expect from such kind of person?. I see the complaints about people not reading profiles very often. This matches my perception of the same lack of emotional and communicational skills I see every day walking down the streets. As a Mathematical could say: this site is just a sample of what you can find out there. In here as in everything in the life we are flooded with crap together with  a little of gems. It's our job to make the triage, Keep the gems, discard the crap. Lots of work but the gems are worthy of it. Isn't it?
I apologize if I couldn't express myself in proper English, my mothertongue is Spanish, and additional aologies for the huge amount of words



GoddessAmyleen -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 7:30:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDemeter9

Hi, I've not been on this site for very long, but have chatted to quite a number and variety of people. However one of the things that irritates Me is that an awful lot of people who message me (Other than the ones who just ask for my yahoo/email/phonenumber immediately) are that many of them have fairly obviously not read my profile before starting a conversation.

Is that a common thing on CollarMe?

If so, how do most people react?


I know how annoying is that! It show how much they care about you right from the start. LOL



AFNI -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/2/2012 7:34:42 PM)

GoddessAmyleen: you are right. The sad part is they are doing their best efforts!!! (after all they try to succeed in having a quick one)
Have a great time



Kana -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/3/2012 8:53:38 AM)

I read profiles (cuz I'm a curious kitty like that-all sortsa nosy)
Course i also buy Playboy for the articles, so I'm a strange cat all around too



Kaiel -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/3/2012 10:28:00 AM)

I read profiles of people who introduce themselves here on the forums and if I receive an interesting email from someone. I do not read profiles from people who send one liner emails or emails which obviously sound as if they don't have a clue on how to approach a woman.



chemeli -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/3/2012 1:15:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDemeter9

Hi, I've not been on this site for very long, but have chatted to quite a number and variety of people. However one of the things that irritates Me is that an awful lot of people who message me (Other than the ones who just ask for my yahoo/email/phonenumber immediately) are that many of them have fairly obviously not read my profile before starting a conversation.

Is that a common thing on CollarMe?

If so, how do most people react?



When i'm bored i read profiles. Otherwise i get so many emails that i just dont bother and just reply to anyone i find interesting. If not interested, i say no thank you and good luck on your research.




MistressDemeter9 -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/3/2012 3:17:31 PM)

quote:

AFNI


I find your analysis interesting, and your right about the mathematical approach, we are pretty much representative of society as a whole.

Maybe my desire to know as much about who I'm talking to as possible is the same thing that makes people cautious about getting into any situation. Forewarned is forearmed and all that. My social development is a bit different from most people's so I'm extra cautious anyway.

I've found the variety of replies quite interesting. From 'why bother' to 'I read everything!'. I guess everyone has a method they are comfortable and confident of using. If it works for you, it works!



JeffBC -> RE: Do you read profiles? (9/4/2012 9:01:25 AM)

Like a lot of the forum regulars, I learn about people from what they write here not their canned speech in their profile. I actually have little idea what's in people's profile's... particularly those I would call "friends". If I was thinking of more than friends with one of my friends I'd definitely read her profile. It'd be important to figure out if she was married, lesbian, or whatever else that might rule out a relationship.

I think the other side of CM is a lot like a meat market with both sides seeking to hook up and get maximum sex/money with minimum time and investment. I don't expect people to behave well there... or to behave at all actually.



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