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General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:38:09 PM   
hihipep


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/9/2012
Status: offline 		I'm new to this site, so I'm trying to get a feel for the basic etiquette here. I'd imagine that it isn't too detached from the ideas shared in reality, but I'm having rather a difficult time working my way through the particular nuances of this site's features.
Am I using the journal properly? Is there even a way not to use it properly?
Is there a particular way that one is expected to respond to messages, if at all?
I have a few "admirers" on this website now, as well, but I am very confused as to precisely what that means here and how I am meant to react to it, if it is courteous to react at all.
My apologies if this entire line of inquiry seems terribly ignorant, but I've never been good at feeling out how to work around online community features like these, and spam messages are making it all the more confusing for me. I appreciate any time that anyone puts into reading and/or responding to this. Thank you. c:
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:45:18 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		There are some regular posters that will likely be along who can assist you. I'm simply here to welcome you.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:50:07 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Welcome m'dear!

'Admirers' is a way for folks to bookmark your profile for later viewing. Nothing is required on your part. As for the forums, read each board guideline for an idea of what's expected. TOS (the terms of use agreement you initialed when you made your account) has some specific things to say about conduct so make sure you understand what you signed. 'Intros' has to be welcoming even if the person is an obvious douche...the option there is to not post if the person is such a dickweed that you (the proverbial 'all of us' you) can't be polite. Emotis are helpful there, like this one: . ' It gets the point across without violating TOS. As long as 'hi, good luck, welcome' is in there somewhere with the emoti, I think you're good to go. What's OK on the boards fluctuates from time to time so if in doubt, check with our esteemed Mods before posting.

As to your journal: whatever you wish to write. Just be aware that anyone with an internet connection can read it.

Enjoy the site and thanks for joining in :-)

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:50:25 PM   
hihipep


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/9/2012
Status: offline 		Ahahaha, thank you very much! I appreciate it. =D That kitten is adorable. c:

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:53:48 PM   
chemeli


Posts: 335
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline 		For the journal, maybe reducing about the music bit? Because reading the entries, it made no sense to me and you come accross as somehow a bit errr edgy, over energetic girl. I dont know if that's you, but that was how i saw you from your journal.

It's good for getting people to know yourself, but it's also not a *personal diary*, so to speak. It's advertisement for putting up little pieces of your personality to enlighten your journal. Or to tease the curiosity of others, maybe. I dont use the journal that much, because i have no idea what to put in it, so i just dont. Use it as how you would like people to see you and how you would like them to get to know you better maybe, if you feel you *have* to use it.

For the messages....if i'm interested, i answer. If not, i just reply, politely, our interests do not match, thank you or something like that. No need to write a novel for a refusal response and waste your and other people's time.

as for admirers....i have noooo idea


(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:53:57 PM   
hihipep


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/9/2012
Status: offline 		Oh, yes, I am aware of the idea of ToS, I was more inquiring regarding personal messages; my apologies, I should have worded that more clearly. Thank you, though. =D Is there something of an equivalent for that sort of message, on that note, or are basic rules of etiquette applied?
And thank you very much for the information regarding admirers, that is incredibly helpful! =D

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:54:05 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Hello, and welcome to our world :)

Your journal is yours to do as you see fit, with the exception of not dissing other users by name. Have fun!

The 'admirers' feature means that someone has you as a favorite, so they have you bookmarked. Most of my admirers are total strangers that never contact me. Pay them no mind is my recommendation.

There is a BLOCK function for those who annoy you. Feel free to use it! You can also REPORT spammers. If your eyes are assaulted by an egregious profile, you can HIDE it, and also REPORT peen pics!

Think of your mailbox as...a mailbox. Do you respond to all your junk mail? If you want to respond, do, otherwise, don't. If you hover over your inbox mail with your mouse, you can get a preview of the mail, so you can just delete it if it's icky!

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:54:45 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Hi and welcome!
I had a peek at your profile and sure, you're using the journal properly. I don't think there is a way to not use it properly, but lots of people do use it as a venting device and whine in it, I do think this tends to put people off rather than draw them in, so that could be considered using it improperly if you are indeed looking for a partner.

Respond to messages however you like. It's considered good manners by many to at least respond to say no thanks, although I'd argue that it's not necessary. Some people will like it if you do that, some will be poopheads at being rejected and act butthurt. It's up to you to decide what you'd like to do with messages, there isn't any protocol.

Admirers are people who have bookmarked your profile for the lack of a better word. They found something of interest and wanted to keep your profile handy for some reason. You may never actually hear from them. There isn't anything you need to do when you are 'admired', just sit back and see if they write, and then you can express interest or not. Or take the initiative to write an admirer that you feel might be interesting. No protocol with it, just whatever you think.

Don't apologize for asking questions Hope to see you around the forums!

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:55:17 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hihipep

Ahahaha, thank you very much! I appreciate it. =D That kitten is adorable. c:


Welcome dear, and if you think that kitten is adorable, just look for my past and future critter posts in the Off-Topic Discussion area!

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:55:55 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Thank goodness, I thought this was another "why don't they answer my emails" thread.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 5:56:01 PM   
hihipep


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/9/2012
Status: offline 		Ah, goodness, I'm responding to these too slowly. .x.
I will use the advice regarding the journal entries and messages, though, thank you. c:

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 6:01:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You're new and female. You may get as many as a hundred messages a day.

No, you do not have to answer every one personally. In fact, we recommend that you only respond if you want to talk to that person.

Unfortunately, there are guys who will take a "thanks but I don't think we have anything in common" to mean that they really have hooked you in. And they will keep messaging you. But once they really understand that you don't want to: send them your naked pics, your phone number, or have cyber sex - their response will be to attack you. Alas the most common is to tell you "your(sic) to(sic) fat to fuck". The more esoteric include threats of telling your: boss, mother, grandmother what you like. Or just threats against your person.

No response is a response.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 7:22:41 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome.

The delete button in email is your friend. Here, in the forums, a hide like a rhino and a very good sense of humour will be your friends.

Please be advised. On the forums, we have some seriously crazy people, some people that love to argue and are sure they are always right, some people that flirt like crazy, some seriously funny people, some of the nicest sweetest people you may never get the delight to meet, some seriously fucked up people, quite a few masochists, people that believe they are Queen/Master of the universe, people that wanna fuck ya, people that wanna take your money and not fuck ya, a few wicked sadists, some real charmers, a few you are sure are space aliens, many characteristics I probably missed, and a lot of combinations of the previous.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 7:24:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		OOH! Can I be the space alien? *I HAVE GLITTER BALL ANTENNAE*

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: General Courtesy - 9/1/2012 11:21:09 PM   
samdarella


Posts: 222
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline 		The journal can be fun to read back through and see where your head was at and where your journey has taken you.

If someone sends an actual note that is longer than a sentence I will usually be polite enough to respond with a thanks and have a great day. It's possible that you could make an unexpected friend. I've met some very nice people from CM even though they weren't right for a relationship. And it never hurts to be polite. Sure you will have assholes that will think they can take advantage of you because of it. But there's always time to delete later.

_____________________________

Take me to the edge.

Pain is....

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: General Courtesy - 9/2/2012 1:56:58 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		getting messages on here is always a barrel of laughs, particularly in the first month or two while you're still new

Remember that this site is just like any other dating site - if you're looking for a real-life relationship then you owe the person you're messaging with absolutely nothing until you've met in person and agreed to be in a relationship. That doesn't make you a 'fake', it makes you sensible.

There are many people on the messageboards who met their partners through cm (or other fet sites). The trick is to be choosy, don't rush things and keep your standards high.

Welcome, and I wish you luck

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: General Courtesy - 9/2/2012 2:11:07 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		One thing that you'll find handy is the "bulk mail" filter.

Your profile makes it clear that you're looking for dominant women, but I'm willing to bet you'll get a ton of mail from male doms, and male subs. If this is tiresome you can set up your bulk mail filter to move messages from dudes to a bulk folder (if you go to read mail, then click the bulk mail button you'll see a button called "mail controls").

I think your journal is perfect!

Oh, and while some people have strong views about people replying to emails, I take the view that if you're getting tons of them, you shouldn't feel obliged to answer them all.

If you start getting shitty emails from people - block them.

I hope you have a lovely collar me experience!



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: General Courtesy - 9/2/2012 3:16:17 AM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		hihipep welcome

i do respond to all first time messages with the exception of the crude, rude and lewd. mousing over the messages is very helpful, it helps me prioritize who i will respond to first. sometimes my time here can be limited. i have written plenty of no thank you messages. the bulk mail feature is helpful, but remember to check it every so often. i have gotten mail from people from the forums because they matched my filters that i did want to correspond with.
you will be swamped with mail for the first few weeks/month, but it settles down. i have met some awesome people on CM and i wish you the same.



_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: General Courtesy - 9/2/2012 4:56:36 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hihipep

I'm new to this site, so I'm trying to get a feel for the basic etiquette here. I'd imagine that it isn't too detached from the ideas shared in reality, but I'm having rather a difficult time working my way through the particular nuances of this site's features.


Am I using the journal properly? Is there even a way not to use it properly?


Yes. The only way to use it improperly that I know of is to name people and say "LordWankerFromPeoria is a (!*&@!(*^@".
quote:



Is there a particular way that one is expected to respond to messages, if at all?


Not really. Since you're an attractive young woman new to the site, you should be getting flooded with messages, and I suspect a lot of them are from men who don't quite grasp the meaning of the word "lesbian." That'll ease up over time. I suggest just deleting messages that you don't want to erspond to, and being polite to the ones you do want to respond to.
quote:



I have a few "admirers" on this website now, as well, but I am very confused as to precisely what that means here and how I am meant to react to it, if it is courteous to react at all.


As was said, using the Admire feature can be used to bookmark your profile. I've had women use it to let me know they're interested. And I've had a few genuine friends use it as well.
quote:



My apologies if this entire line of inquiry seems terribly ignorant, but I've never been good at feeling out how to work around online community features like these, and spam messages are making it all the more confusing for me. I appreciate any time that anyone puts into reading and/or responding to this. Thank you. c:


You're welcome!

So... how's your overall collarme experience going?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to hihipep)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: General Courtesy - 9/2/2012 5:16:46 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

LordWankerFromPeoria is a (!*&****!(*^****".


Well, he is quite the asshole!

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 20
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