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carolsea -> RE: Online training... (6/19/2006 3:42:40 PM)
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No, my dear, that is not ignorance. I have DONE what you describe below, and I know how erotic and powerful it can be from both sides of the screen. It's the knowledge that the online experience can only go so far for me, and then I have to have human contact. My problem was with your use of the term "True Submission"- but then I have a problem with the use of the word "true" in connection with a lot of nouns, such as dominant, submissive, way, religion, road to salvation, ETC. So don't flatter yourself in thinking that you know something that I don't.
It's just like phone sex - you can be doing anything on the other end of the line and still get the other person off, but that's not a "true" sexual encounter. Well, except for the one masturbating there alone with the phone in his/her hand!
LOL
Carolsea
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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
quote:
ORIGINAL: carolsea
Do you mean to say that an indication of so-called "TRUE submission" is that a person can sit at their keyboard, say they're something that they're not (old/young, male/female, etc.) and be conducting an online game a chess or (name your favorite computer game), saying they're doing one thing when they're really doing another?
Oh yes, I'm touching myself, oooh baby!!
Yeah, WAY different than in real life. In real life you have the person right there in front of you, and you KNOW what they're doing, what they are, and whether or not they're just flat out laughing at you!
Puhleez!!
Carolsea
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ORIGINAL: jadedshadow
Submitting online takes TRUE submission. Yes there are a lot of pitfalls, but it is so in r/t as well (yes I have experienced both). It takes time, trust, love, patience, and lots and lots of understanding as well as accepting mistakes and moving past them - learning and living.. not much different there than in real life is it? <snip>
This is the kind of ignorance I am talking about. People think online domination is about typing "ooh I am touching myself." If you have such a limited imagination that you believe it's about having this kind of exchange, no wonder you don't get anything out of it. I would not with you, either!
The most erotic part of a person is their brain. Our hot buttons reside in our psyche. The eroticism that comes from BDSM begins in the brain and the way we process our kinks. Without a brain, an imagination, a fantasy, there really is very little left of BDSM other than a series of actions.
Those people who cannot figure out how to erotically charge someone through words, imagery, and connecting to the brain and think that this kind of connection is "less" than real life simply are unable to get their brain around it, or they are lazy, or maybe not literate. I can get my head around the idea that some people don't like words, sentences, essays, erotica, reading or taking the time to put words together; however, this place (collarme) is a written medium where people spend time typing words to communicate and sometimes move one another. So, we've eliminated the vast number of people out there who hate to write, type, or use words to communicate.
Still, such resistance to the idea that someone who can visualize an idea, capture it into words, communicate it to another and cause an erotic reaction in them -- wow, that's not good enough, that's not real? I am a snob because my standards are that I want a man that can not only stimulate me physically, but use words -- either in an electronic medium -- or, does anyone remember pen and paper? -- to also rock my world? The best lovers I've had were so "in tune" with my kinks because they could relate to them, communicate them, and stimulate them through the use of written words. Our "boring" cybersex or online domination (or his online submission) consisted of mini works of art when measured in impact it had on both of our lustful sides.
I guess you could say the same about photography. People will scoff and think the exchanging of digitical photos to eroticize a long distance relationship is "stupid" or "lame" or "doesn't do anything" -- well, yeah, you are probably thinking of a cock shot or a woman pinching her own nipple with her legs open. I'm talking about someone having the ability to know my brain so well he can photograph and capture an erotic moment that is so hot I can barely look at the photo without shaking all over.
Perhaps I am overly sensitive and extremely sensual and an odd animal in that words, photographs and imagery -- when done right -- can really rock my world. Does it replace real life domination? Of course not, it never will. But for those of you that say you " get nothing out of it" I would venture you either put nothing into it, or you have a really limited imaginination.
Slamming online domination just gives some people their chance to feel elite by saying they'd never stoop to such a low level; in reality, those that can do it should be proud. It demonstrates your ability to use the most important part of the erotic soul -- the brain.
Akasha
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