RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you

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RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/6/2012 3:55:19 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

...I think your implying that LP

I'm implying it in attempt to get the premise of the thread back on track.

Some of these threads that have hit this board from absolutely CLUELESS people make My head spin. See, I'm not allowed to say that on the threads that they create. That's a personal attack. On this thread, where it's not regarding a specific individual, it's not.

Ya gotta work the system, babe.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 21

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/6/2012 9:47:52 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Here's a question I'd like to ask you, as someone with much more knowledge of male subs than me:

Do you think there is a similar amount of utter cluelessness among male subs (of any age, or of age say 40+)? I imagine it happens some, but is it to a similar proportion?

I wouldn't personally consider a do-me scat "slave" in the same category. I mean more, a guy who says, "I know nothing about anything," and means it. Totally lost and looking for direction.

On the boards, we get a lot fewer of the "I met person X and she wants kink Z" male submissives than the latest trend on the other side of the gender fence. We do get a fair number of submissive males who come to the boards who are there to ask basic educational questions without the loss of common sense.

It is possible that this can be attributed to a difference in the genders regarding sub frenzy. Women don't have near the trouble finding play partners as men. That may be a contributing factor: Opportunity.

We do get some (not all) new male posters who are too heavily influenced by porn and lacking certain social skills. Now, part of this is that I'm something of a prude and find questions of an intimate nature not always appropriate; Yes, even on a kink site. <gasp>

There were a couple of answers here that seem to indicate that this is another "Fifty Shades of Grey" phenomenon. In other words, the female's equivalent that we see the problem with too much porn for males. Lots of folks believing the fantasy and/or 'special rules' just because it's a Dom and not a boyfriend.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 22

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 6:37:59 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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For the record, I find women under 35 utterly uninteresting and I know plenty of women my age who are very happy.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 23

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 6:58:23 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I think we're seeing (online at least) a lot of 50 Shades backlash. People read the book and somehow get it in their mind that a D/s relationship is so very special and different. When sexual fantasies get tapped, endorphins get flowing, and for some reason that turns most human beings into blithering idiots.

No, I don't have any scientific basis for this statement, only anecdotal evidence.

Being as many people strike me as profoundly ignorant, at least in some ways, I *don't* have a strong desire to head butt my desk. There have been times I've had a strong desire to take a two by four upside someone's head (generally one of my sisters), but that's different.

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Post #: 24

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 7:48:39 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

For the record, I find women under 35 utterly uninteresting and I know plenty of women my age who are very happy.

Agreed. I might be fat and bitter, but it does not suck to be in HibWorld.

I have 'friends' among the young people, and they are wonderful and unusual. And young.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 25

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 9:48:12 AM

WomanlyWiles

Posts: 166
Joined: 3/14/2012
Status: offline

Fuck yes, I'm in my prime. Happier than I've even been in my life. And I'm not short of admirers.

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Post #: 26

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 12:12:08 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I think we're seeing (online at least) a lot of 50 Shades backlash. People read the book and somehow get it in their mind that a D/s relationship is so very special and different. When sexual fantasies get tapped, endorphins get flowing, and for some reason that turns most human beings into blithering idiots.

No, I don't have any scientific basis for this statement, only anecdotal evidence.

Being as many people strike me as profoundly ignorant, at least in some ways, I *don't* have a strong desire to head butt my desk. There have been times I've had a strong desire to take a two by four upside someone's head (generally one of my sisters), but that's different.

You're not the only one to say so, even on this thread. I'm a little out of touch with the Fifty Shades phenomenon. I'm seeing it a lot on the net. Not any of it in real life. At munch groups/events, I don't see the decline of reality versus fantasy. We get brand spanking new folks, too. Even up here in the middle of nowhere. They aren't coming to us with this disconnect. They do come wanting to learn, but not jumping into situations that aren't smart for them.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 27

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 1:52:51 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Coming in late, but I really can't relate to the posts I've seen that act as though this is a recent or 50 Shades related phenomenon. I've been on CollarMe for years now and it's always been endless stupid questions, by far mostly people over 35, here.

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Post #: 28

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 7:17:29 PM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

After getting a ticket for this thread and seeing an inline complaint about a tangent being off topic, I reviewed the entire thread and removed a number of posts for being personal attacks or off topic (including my own off topic tangent.)

Posts that quoted or replied to posts that required removal were also removed. Unfortunately, some of these posts contained parts that were very much on topic. If you write to me and ask me to send you a copy of your post you may repost it (leaving off the off topic parts - please review the slimmed down thread.) Most of you with pulled posts made a number of posts, so do give me keywords so I can find the post in question.

Returning your posts may take a while, so please have patience.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 7:34:56 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Well, Chi, I appreciate your opinion.

I still believe this is a worthwhile phenomenon. Those who need help. It's a damn shame that this is lost because of personal bias.

To those who were interested in this thread, in education, in leather....l apologize to you.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 9/7/2012 7:35:31 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)

Post #: 30

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/7/2012 9:24:10 PM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I still believe this is a worthwhile phenomenon. Those who need help. It's a damn shame that this is lost because of personal bias.
[/color]

Greetings Pact,

I think it is only a shame if you allow it to happen. I mean that I read the responses from Kana, Stephann, Focus, Aries, MusicMystery, and the bottom line is that it will only affect the people that ALLOW it to affect them. We can only give answers to the Ops from the writings that they give us, and then try to give gut responses for none get both sides. I would not feel bad for anyone. If they can't take the heat, then they should not be a Dom or Master.

The people whom might need help might be the people whom are lazy. I mean if yoiu do not have time to go through previous postings, then would you have time for a female in a submissive role or a female slave.

I wish you well.

Frank

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 31

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 4:26:19 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I really would like to get this thread back on track. Maybe we can salvage it?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 32

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 2:34:02 PM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

50 Shades of Grey is the greatest publishing success in the history of the world.

You're getting, what? half a dozen new clueless wanderers-in here on a better than average day? Here on one of the biggest BDSM free websites on the net?

Mountain? Molehill? I vote for molehill.

Still, what's wrong with a little crash and burn? Everyone's over 18, right? Did we not old timers go through lots of goofiness and come out happily pervvy and unscathed?

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I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

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Post #: 33

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 3:09:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

50 Shades of Grey is the greatest publishing success in the history of the world.

You're getting, what? half a dozen new clueless wanderers-in here on a better than average day? Here on one of the biggest BDSM free websites on the net?

Mountain? Molehill? I vote for molehill.

Still, what's wrong with a little crash and burn? Everyone's over 18, right? Did we not old timers go through lots of goofiness and come out happily pervvy and unscathed?

Nope. At the first munch I ever went to, I was recommended a book. (It was "The Loving Dominant," if you're interested.) I ordered it at the book store the next day. Then, when it arrived, I read it. Idiocy prevented by education.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 34

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 3:32:08 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I don't recall a terribly rough road, actually.

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 35

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 3:34:23 PM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

I was trying to have pervvy sex in 1972. They had the Story of O and then as an alternative, they had nothing. A while later, they had Larry Townsend and then Gor. 'Love the Warren Book, btw, but I'm guessing I was waiting 2 decades to see one.

But crash and thrash around I did -with many a game girl hot to be tied up with scarves because she read about it Cosmo. It was better in a lot of ways, the way having record stores was better then iTunes. But mostly, it's better to be kinky now. Even 50 Shades of Grey is a better option then nothing.

_____________________________

I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 36

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 11:09:44 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Bdsm never scathed me. Relationships did.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Post #: 37

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/8/2012 11:54:02 PM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

Even 50 Shades of Grey is a better option then nothing.

I would rather have nothing than to lessen the standards that I set myself , let alone another female. Maybe that is just me.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 38

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/9/2012 12:36:20 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Not just you. I feel the same. I know women who are reading it and have decided they want a man like Christian now. I just roll my eyes and think these are the same women who read harlequins and then decide to go on a cruise to meet their Fabio.

I will never stop laughing over how much women say they don't want to be subservient and they want a guy who will answer with "yes dear" but then read a book or see a movie and all of a sudden...BAM! Now they want a big, strong, hunk type of a man that will sweep them off their feet. LOL

It's hilarious. I remember when The Secretary came out and I was still single. I remember being on vanilla dating sites that had forums as well and all the women were going crazy for the movie, wanting a man like that in the movie. I saw it ruin perfectly good relationships because of this view. I saw women who decided to put the bar so high that no man would ever be right for them unless he was he was the man in The Secretary.

I'm to the point that I believe most women don't have a clue what they want.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 39

RE: Gentlemen, I'm starting to feel bad for you - 9/9/2012 11:23:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Littlewonder is right -- or at least I agree with her!

Most people have no idea what they want, and even less of a handle on what they NEED. So, they start chasing the fantasy du jour as if that was their magic answer, instead of 'hey, wonder what THIS is like'.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 40

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