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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 7:24:03 AM

LaTigresse

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Not even.

You see, for me, a bio woman that has been pregnant twice......pregnancy wasn't at all about the actual physical experience of being pregnant. And to be honest, I totally fucking HATED being pregnant. I hated the first 3-4 months of weight loss and puking at every scent or taste. Getting so anemic I nearly passed out getting out of bed. Having humongous boobs and a shrinking everything else. Then, just when the puking went away and my appetite came back, I turned into the Good Year blimp. It was 9 + months of totally cramping my style. Constantly being lectured about what I could and could not do. What I should, and should not do. Not to mention rude random strangers touching me and getting into my business. Ya, being pregnant was a bowl of cherries.......not.

So, I focused on the end goal. Sure I hated the process but the goal made it worthwhile and tolerable. Yet, as the oldest child of 6 kids, I was fully aware of what that end goal meant. My life was not going to be my own again for a very VERY long time. It meant I had to consider someone else in every single decision I had to make. It meant loving someone else more than myself. It meant forgetting my dreams and doing what was best for a helpless creature that hadn't chosen to be conceived or born. Both pregnancies, while I hated the process I was fully aware that there was a living being growing and developing inside of me. A being that I would love and protect with my own life. A being that would change my life in ways I could not yet fathom. I was totally fucking terrified, awed, and every other imaginable emotion possible. That was 33 years ago and I have to say, there is no mock physical experience/experiment a man can go through that will simulate what being pregnant is like.

Just like being an aunt, sister, having a dog.......none of those things comes close to being a parent.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 7:45:37 AM

LadyHibiscus

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And LaT has summed up why I am NOT a parent, though I was willing to be a surrogate for a few close friends.

We say that gender is not genitalia...yet this desire to experience menstruation certainly seems very genitally oriented.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 8:26:12 AM

Lucylastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenniferloves

I guess I am going to have to redirect this back on topic again and what it was intended for.
Some Trans people see their ass as a vagina, therefore my question was do they compare the use of a butt plug, even momentarily, as to that to a genetic woman using a tampon.
Since this post began, that question was left very open and was intended for Trans people to answer. Don’t mind others answering, actually it was stated on a post earlier.
However some of the answers are ridiculous especially this one and while some genetic girls might feel the description of cramps you portrayed etc as spot on, I for one think comparing constipation to having a period in an attempt to be funny... really idiotic.
So what is your suggestion for Trans people to simulate menopause? Break their bones to “experience” what osteoporosis is like?

Hmmmm I havent read beyond this point so excuse me if Ive missed anything others or yourself have said after this......
Personally I have had conversations with a few trans friends about "feeling womanly" mimicking to the point what I mentioned, sweating, leaks and clots...and beyond. There is enjoyment to wearing a butt plug, .....a tampon, once its inserted you shouldnt feel a thing. It certainly isnt arousing for the majority of women, where a butt plug certainly can be .
I dont want to get too "intimately gross", but a quantity of watery lube, thick lube mixed up and inserted and a tiny butt plug can give you the sensation of "leaking" when you cough sneeze, laugh, or even surprise movements ...similar to any kind of anal leakage..it hasnt been tried more than once or twice by the trans people Ive known well.
I enjoy dressing up my pet, he likes "humiliation" but in a different way to being just ashamed or embarrassed, he feels the arousal in play in his head differently, he sees things slightly differently it gives him the opportunity to let his "feminine side" out. Which is something with his life and job, doesnt really happen very often. It may not work for other men, trans or CD but it works for me, it works for him. Thats all I care about.
I enjoy trans people immensely, for their insight, their amazing humour and their understanding... amongst other things.
I wish you luck and fun in your travels

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 8:31:44 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Not even.

You see, for me, a bio woman that has been pregnant twice......pregnancy wasn't at all about the actual physical experience of being pregnant. And to be honest, I totally fucking HATED being pregnant. I hated the first 3-4 months of weight loss and puking at every scent or taste. Getting so anemic I nearly passed out getting out of bed. Having humongous boobs and a shrinking everything else. Then, just when the puking went away and my appetite came back, I turned into the Good Year blimp. It was 9 + months of totally cramping my style. Constantly being lectured about what I could and could not do. What I should, and should not do. Not to mention rude random strangers touching me and getting into my business. Ya, being pregnant was a bowl of cherries.......not.

So, I focused on the end goal. Sure I hated the process but the goal made it worthwhile and tolerable. Yet, as the oldest child of 6 kids, I was fully aware of what that end goal meant. My life was not going to be my own again for a very VERY long time. It meant I had to consider someone else in every single decision I had to make. It meant loving someone else more than myself. It meant forgetting my dreams and doing what was best for a helpless creature that hadn't chosen to be conceived or born. Both pregnancies, while I hated the process I was fully aware that there was a living being growing and developing inside of me. A being that I would love and protect with my own life. A being that would change my life in ways I could not yet fathom. I was totally fucking terrified, awed, and every other imaginable emotion possible. That was 33 years ago and I have to say, there is no mock physical experience/experiment a man can go through that will simulate what being pregnant is like.

Just like being an aunt, sister, having a dog.......none of those things comes close to being a parent.

The above post and others like it that attempt to show the acts of menstruation (and now pregnancy) as they truly are illustrate the heart of the matter I think. Anytime you take a rather weighty subject and condense it down to a partial reflection of that subject, that trivializes it. Concentrating on a select part of something tends to erase other rather significant aspects of it.

I could totally go on and on about the joys of owning a dog without acknowledging that the things are total poop machines. A dog brings joy to it's owners, I have never seen a woman that adores her period. Some subjects are not able to be taken at face value when there is much more to them, it's hard for people to do that.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 8:47:51 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

And LaT has summed up why I am NOT a parent, though I was willing to be a surrogate for a few close friends.

We say that gender is not genitalia...yet this desire to experience menstruation certainly seems very genitally oriented.

Yanno Hibby, I so totally feel empathy for any person that intensely feels they were born in the wrong gender body. Throughout my life I have had several friends for whom that is their life experience. One committed suicide a little over a year ago.

She/he, explained to me the depth of feeling that the body born with was not the body she felt. To feel complete as the man she felt she was, she spent a huge amount of money to purchase the most lifelike prosthetic penis and took to wearing it nearly all of the time.

She was a very cute, actually smoking hot, woman.........but not. Her brain and soul were male. The sad part was that she could never come to terms with either being female or male. It was almost easier for some of her friends, to see her as him, when she/he was relaxed and allowing herself to be....him.

I think for Amy/Mark the biggest hurdle for self acceptance was the close and loving relationship she had with her parents. They were considerably older. Had difficultly with the "Mom, Dad, I am a lesbian." thing but did an awesome job of coping with the shock and loving and accepting. I think that especially for her dad, who doted on her, she was just afraid to take that last step. Kinda like we've talked about not wanting to hurt others, she didn't want to hurt her parents. She was so appreciative of their love and support after she came out as gay......she didn't want to push it.

So instead, she pretended as best she could. In her home community, especially after she moved back, she was Mark on the inside, pretending to be Amy. In other ways, with certain people, she was Mark. And the prosthetic, to try so desperately to feel on the outside, the way she/he felt on the inside.

Unfortunately, the inability to be fully open with the people she loved and needed most, had some terribly high costs. Lack of self acceptance, bad relationships, drug and alcohol abuse.

I am not sure what all transpired the last couple years of her/his life. Small town New York is a long way from rural Iowa and the relationships Amy/Mark had after moving back was not conducive to maintaining our communication. Even though we were only ever, just friends. There seemed to be lots of jealousy and insecurity.....just not my business. So I will likely never know for sure, what really lead up to the actual suicide.

Whatever all that may be, it certainly has lead me to a great deal of empathy, even if I cannot ever know the actual experience.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 8:54:19 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Poor Mark. Small towns are never the place for those that don't fit the accepted norm.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 9:21:15 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Poor Mark. Small towns are never the place for those that don't fit the accepted norm.

Ya.

Granted, I don't know what that particular home town really was like. We became friends when Amy lived in Iowa and begun to accept herself as Mark. The only real struggle for me, and many other friends, was never knowing who we would be talking to on any given day. It was Amy herself that alternated between being Amy the cute little butch lesbian, and Mark. I suspect the battle may have been as much one of self acceptance as the community and other people involved.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 9:28:40 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Wow. One of my pals is a woman to everyone but the VA, and her parents.

It's a hard road, and really, the experience is not "oh, okay, you're X now" for everyone. I am working on the gender fluidity concept, and as someone relentlessly, solidly, totally FEMALE... it's baffling. A friend of mine, mother of two, doesn't identify as any gender at all. She lives as a female, has a male and a female spouse, uses female pronouns, but it was very unsettling for her to be treated as totally femme when she was pregnant.

It's a world of folks.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 9:38:39 AM

LaTigresse

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That it is.

I have kinda lost all of that idea of everyone has to fit into some kind of neat little box. I've pretty much lost my give a damn for that. My only problem ever seems to be when whatever it is I see, isn't an accurate reflection of how that person sees themselves. That's when undies, boxers and g-strings have gotten bunched.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 9:57:25 AM

LadyHibiscus

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When I was young (like 18-20), I had a hard time dealing with the trans concept, but when I have a problem that is obviously MY problem, and born of not understanding, I try to learn about it. Didn't take long. As a lifelong edge person, it's not that I had a hard time accepting other edge people, it was the idea that MEN were coopting my gender's "stuff". (that anyone would choose to be male... LOL! well, hey, takes all sorts, right!

)

I wish we could all be authentically ourselves, but we do have to be part of a society to some extent, and this isn't the Land of Ooo where we can just BE. I try to be open. I get cranky when someone tells me how MY perceptions should be, because they think they know better. Not happening.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 7:26:32 PM

hausboy

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FR: Thanks for sharing that LaT--I'm so sorry. I've had two FTM friends and 1 MTF friend commit suicide.

Hibbie: it kinda ties back into the original thread/post here..... it's just SO much more than just one facet. I cross-lived for many years and was a with (at the time) a loving woman who totally accepted me....female body and all....loved me for the fierce butch I was. I had tons of friends and parents who completely accepted me. It was not enough. I glued theatre moustaches on my face, wore a prosthetic, worked out like crazy and had a perfect flat top. None of that made me feel like a man....it simulated being a man.

it's why I don't get the "if I simulate a period with a buttplug it will help me feel like a woman". My attempt to "Simulate" just reminded me more of what I didn't have or couldn't do. I had to come to some level of acceptance that no matter how much I wanted it, there were some sensations and experiences that I would never be able to have.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 9:59:10 PM

Jenniferloves

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Anytime you take a rather weighty subject and condense it down to a partial reflection of that subject, that trivializes it. Concentrating on a select part of something tends to erase other rather significant aspects of it.

I see where you are coming from although whilst most respondents initially tended to focus on the physical act of insertion, I was interested into the thoughts, if any, of the psychological aspect of it to a Trans person.
I am delighted the question purposely ambiguous. Most respondents were genetic female and their responses have triggered much more about gender identity and its psyche. So it has very much so highlighted much more than what the initial question was intended rather than minimises it.
Thanks ladies.

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RE: Butt Plugs as Tampons - 9/14/2012 10:30:13 PM

Jenniferloves

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Yanno Hibby, I so totally feel empathy for any person that intensely feels they were born in the wrong gender body. Throughout my life I have had several friends for whom that is their life experience. One committed suicide a little over a year ago.

She/he, explained to me the depth of feeling that the body born with was not the body she felt. Whatever all that may be, it certainly has lead me to a great deal of empathy, even if I cannot ever know the actual experience.

Hi La T,
Thank you for relaying this entire quote. It really does shed a great insight. You summed up the complexities of a Trans person not only within their own lives and their own acceptance of their aspired gender but also sociologically.
How the social stigma of wanting to come out plays a major role on apprehensions of coming out, should that even be gay never mind Trans.

The stigma your friend experienced was so strong, societal wide that he didn’t want to hurt his family as he may have seen it. The repercussions of this bottling up has been alluded too, none can for say sure. There were numerous questions about your friend that were conjured up in me.

However deep down the fundamental question I was left asking myself after hearing Marks story is this. Was this an act of unconditional love, not to hurt his parents by not revealing his aspired gender identity?

Thanks La T

Edited for Typos

< Message edited by Jenniferloves -- 9/14/2012 10:32:10 PM >

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