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RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 2:57:09 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wiselydivine

I've been on and off this site for a few years. Mostly due to the fact that it seems to be FILLED with fake profiles and nonsense. That being said, logically I must assume that is so because there are real people on here. I have also by happenstance met people via other methods who turned out to be on here, and they are of course real. So can anyone illuminate to me what a good, fast way to sort the bullshit is and really actually meet people via this site?



http://www.collarchat.com/m_2774994/mpage_1/key_different%252Csort/tm.htm#2774994

That was my experience.
Likely because I had a completely different experience than the fake-finders here, I too am a fake.
If that is so, then I am a very happy figment!

It took me 18 months for my One to find me here.

I made some choices, that if I could do it over again, I would hit the undo button, but nothing worth whining about and nothing that I did not have some responsibility for.

That is the thing: when one is responsible for one's self, it minimises resentment.
I am not looking to blame; learn from my mistakes, yes, but not blame others for my choices.


Wonderful people are out there but it takes both patience and discernment... and more than a little bit of common sense.

If someone is offering you instant anything, there isn't likely to be much substance beneath their glitzy offer.
Know what it is you are looking for before leaping into a relationship.

Incompatibilities are common but if you decide to see someone until something better comes along, be honest about that.
Personally, I would rather be alone than settle on Mr Wrong, but loneliness is a powerful motivator and creates atmospheres of desperation.


< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 9/13/2012 3:54:00 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to wiselydivine)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:10:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If it looks too good to be true then it's most likely not true.

Look, it took me 8 years before he found me. Bdsm dating is noooo better than a vanilla date. Same qualifications, same way of approaches, etc...

I'm the type that says if you have problems in dating others outside of bdsm, then you won't make good dating material here either.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:14:43 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wiselydivine

I've been on and off this site for a few years. Mostly due to the fact that it seems to be FILLED with fake profiles and nonsense. That being said, logically I must assume that is so because there are real people on here. I have also by happenstance met people via other methods who turned out to be on here, and they are of course real. So can anyone illuminate to me what a good, fast way to sort the bullshit is and really actually meet people via this site?


Yeah, it's easy....

Chic seems not at all real (probably a guy), ask to see his dick...if he shows it to you....he's most assuredly not a chic.

(I'm here most weekdays....here to help).

(in reply to wiselydivine)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:27:50 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wiselydivine

I've been on and off this site for a few years. Mostly due to the fact that it seems to be FILLED with fake profiles and nonsense. That being said, logically I must assume that is so because there are real people on here. I have also by happenstance met people via other methods who turned out to be on here, and they are of course real. So can anyone illuminate to me what a good, fast way to sort the bullshit is and really actually meet people via this site?

This is the internet. The only way to find something or someone that is not total bullshit is pure fucking blind luck.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to wiselydivine)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:30:25 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, you're a fuckin romantic, if I ever saw one.....

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:35:31 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Oh, you're a fuckin romantic, if I ever saw one.....

No shit. I never spit and I can change a tire too!

You want me, admit it.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:37:13 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Piggyback with Google Image, too. Amazing what it turns up.



I did, and nothing with me. Chi said she did too and nothing came up. I iz a fake, and a ghost. :)



_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:38:46 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Did you know that on this site, all your forum posts are viewable? So... some female who IS interested in you can see your posting history, your style, your attitude toward women.

Some dominant women care about that sort of thing.



I don't have an attitude toward women, I have an attitude toward everyone. Anyone who doesn't understand this doesn't need to be in a relationship with me because I won't get along with them.


This is why you are still alone.

ETA: I noticed in one of your posts you said "or charging $300 for a session"..what cheap pros have you been talking to? I don't know any Pros that would charge that little. (no offense if you are a pro and charge $300, just saying I didn't think sessions went for that little) :)

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 9/13/2012 3:40:50 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:51:13 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Did you know that on this site, all your forum posts are viewable? So... some female who IS interested in you can see your posting history, your style, your attitude toward women.

Some dominant women care about that sort of thing.



I don't have an attitude toward women, I have an attitude toward everyone. Anyone who doesn't understand this doesn't need to be in a relationship with me because I won't get along with them.


This is why you are still alone.

ETA: I noticed in one of your posts you said "or charging $300 for a session"..what cheap pros have you been talking to? I don't know any Pros that would charge that little. (no offense if you are a pro and charge $300, just saying I didn't think sessions went for that little) :)


Didn't say they were pros, just said they were charging $300 per session.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:52:21 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Remember, all I did was mention how I screen people on yahoo, which was apparently some great offense.


I screen out men who ask for IM or phone in the first email or two. Because it contains my last name, I've never given out my YIM to anyone but M, my roommate. I do have an anonymous gchat, but for some reason these requests are always for YIM.

So, ladies, if you do give out a YIM to someone who asks for it in the first email or two, what does he want to talk about? Politics? World peace? Sports? Am I cynical for thinking that 9 times out of 10 he's asking so he can try to have cybersex?

Don't get me wrong, I *love* to talk about sex. But I want to get to know someone as a person first.



When I was looking, I created a Yahoo account with the same name as I have here. I didn't have my real name attached to it in Messenger but I also didn't give that out right away either. The chat function on this site seemed very slow and the emails back and forth became numerous. Yes, a lot of people wanted cybersex, but quite a few seemed to be OK with just chatting.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:54:27 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Did you know that on this site, all your forum posts are viewable? So... some female who IS interested in you can see your posting history, your style, your attitude toward women.

Some dominant women care about that sort of thing.



I don't have an attitude toward women, I have an attitude toward everyone. Anyone who doesn't understand this doesn't need to be in a relationship with me because I won't get along with them.


This is why you are still alone.

ETA: I noticed in one of your posts you said "or charging $300 for a session"..what cheap pros have you been talking to? I don't know any Pros that would charge that little. (no offense if you are a pro and charge $300, just saying I didn't think sessions went for that little) :)


Didn't say they were pros, just said they were charging $300 per session.



Princess, that's kinda the definition of a pro, isn't it? Someone who charges for a session?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:56:17 PM   
yourdarkdesire


Posts: 4477
Joined: 10/2/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		The $300 was for 10 minutes. If you want to cum, its an extra $100.

And btw.......if you're charging......you're a pro.

_____________________________

President, ProSubsRUs

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 3:56:20 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Did you know that on this site, all your forum posts are viewable? So... some female who IS interested in you can see your posting history, your style, your attitude toward women.

Some dominant women care about that sort of thing.



I don't have an attitude toward women, I have an attitude toward everyone. Anyone who doesn't understand this doesn't need to be in a relationship with me because I won't get along with them.


This is why you are still alone.

ETA: I noticed in one of your posts you said "or charging $300 for a session"..what cheap pros have you been talking to? I don't know any Pros that would charge that little. (no offense if you are a pro and charge $300, just saying I didn't think sessions went for that little) :)


Didn't say they were pros, just said they were charging $300 per session.



Princess, that's kinda the definition of a pro, isn't it? Someone who charges for a session?


A woman who says "I'll charge you $300 per hour" followed by: "Have you ever been sodomized with a curling iron?" is not a pro.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 4:21:15 PM   
JustDragonflies


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/30/2012
Status: offline 		OP:

I'm chiming in with some contrary feed back from what was offered to you. I'm not sure if its a generational thing (no offense if some of you who said this aren't a generation ahead of me!) or what... but I have never associated yahoo messenger, or any for that matter with assumed "fakeness" or even a redflag per se.

(And in my ever humble opinion, a bot isn't a major time waste or problem on this site... at all. It's immediately obvious and like five sentences is too many to NOT already know it's a bot, and at that point I'm amused--- not in a rage so ... Don't worry about bots!)

Additionally, I personally tend to offer my YIM after an email or two just because it's a faster, more "natural" feeling, more fluid way to converse. And yes, I'm a real person and I've met quite a few people from this website (and others) and actually met my significant other on this website (several years ago)! So there's some hope for you. Matches can and do happen! I often tell people that what you give is usually what you get.

For me, the most important thing in figuring out whether someone is "real" or not is the content of their conversation at whatever place we may be talking, YIM or CM, or etc etc. The fact that we're talking *there* is irrelevant to me. It's what they have to say, how they say it, and how they demonstrate their personality and character. Are they sex-focused? Are they intelligent? Do they try to pressure me or usurp my boundaries? Etc etc.

Do a few good, in depth conversations mean they're legitimately representing themselves? No. But it's a good place to start. People have a lot of different ways they proceed forward once they find a real person. It takes time to figure out what works for you.

Is this a foolproof method? No. But dating involves some controlled risks and some time wasting. It takes effort to find something worth having, you know?

My last tip on making it better and easier to use this site for dating is this: put quite a bit of effort and thought into your profile. It is your first impression. And someone who's clearly put effort into it usually doesn't even attract a vast array of time wasters. You'll always get messages from people sending out a really obvious form letter to literally every single person who happens to be in your demographic of gender and D/s orientation. In my experience, if your profile IS pretty well thought out then it gives the real people more to respond to and gives you a better opportunity to identify if they're interested in you for legitimate reasons right off the bat.

Have fun!

PS: Figure out what a safe call is and be prepared for meeting a stranger safely for the first times. Using safe calls are better prevention than anything.


< Message edited by JustDragonflies -- 9/13/2012 4:23:45 PM >

(in reply to wiselydivine)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 6:13:27 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Psst Etox, that many of quotes within quotes is sloppy posting and bad manners. Please edit your quotes until only the relevant parts are left over. In this case only the last sentence - that you replied to - was a relevant part. Everything else was redundant.

(And yes: the others who contributed to that quirk of quotes had equally bad manners.)

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 6:22:21 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Psst Etox, that many of quotes within quotes is sloppy posting and bad manners. Please edit your quotes until only the relevant parts are left over. In this case only the last sentence - that you replied to - was a relevant part. Everything else was redundant.

(And yes: the others who contributed to that quirk of quotes had equally bad manners.)


I was trying to make the universe implode.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 6:31:20 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		You have an inquisitive mind, but one with a tendency to self-destruct. Please renege on imploding the universe: for some reason I quite like our universe.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 6:36:25 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

You have an inquisitive mind, but one with a tendency to self-destruct. Please renege on imploding the universe: for some reason I quite like our universe.


I'm afraid to ask...but you like it why?

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 7:21:25 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		For one among many other reasons: Because you are part of it all.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Hello, question about the site - 9/13/2012 7:25:14 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Rule, hun, your missing the teen-aged ennui he's got going on.

_____________________________



(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 80
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