RE: The Age difference factor

RE: The Age difference factor (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

ResidentSadist -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 6:31:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: smartsub10 quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Setting aside the pitchfork and torches, I would say that in this day and age, you're not that old yet bro. Like your friend, my dad was 52 when he took a 19 yo and started his second family. My step mom is younger than I am. They kicked out a kid, my brother (1/2 brother) and he was in his 20s when my Dad died at 75. He left them a healthy legacy and all is well. My brother turned out to be a very nice and well balanced person. He leads a good life and is glad to have had the father he did. In short, go for it. There are more import family values than being able to outrun or play football with your children. He died leaving a young son and a young widow but, what the hell, he had sweet young pussy for the last lap of his life and that's all that matters, right? [:D] The one word which RS mentioned in his post which hit home for me... was Legacy. There has been a lot going through my mind lately. The Legacy concept very much also part of it. -=About his legacy=- (to Whiplashsmile4) My brother enjoys life to the fullest in that part of non-monetary legacy my father left us both was his excellent perspectives on life. We are both grateful and feel lucky to have been his progeny. We are happy, fearless, outgoing, emotionally healthy and understand life is what you make of it, it's your choices. He died leaving a legacy for his family and discoveries for medical science. -=About his "piece of ass"=- (to smartsub10) As far as the step mom, she loves him to this day. His mind and perspectives were big enough that age wasn't a factor, love was. My father was a wealthy doctor and by no means wanted a pathetic teenaged piece of ass. She (step mom) was mature far beyond her years and was studying to be a lawyer. She was one of the secretaries to the president of Mexico when he met her. She's no bimbo and this is not a Anna Nicole Smith situation.

lizi -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 6:36:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 I tell you what, if you can look at your own child and not not have a sense of Ego about the fact... that they are your own flesh and blood. That a part of you lives on in them... Legacy I find rather fitting to parts of this puzzle. I can honestly say that legacy has ever entered my mind when it comes to my kids. The first I thought of it was reading this thread tonight. Them being my flesh and blood has really not much to do with who they are - or that is how I look at it. I don't honestly care that part of me lives on in them. I'm glad they're here and I love them, that about covers it. I don't see myself living on through them as being anything that I care about. I had a good life, I lived as a good person, I'm happy with that, I don't feel that I need to leave something behind in my wake to show I existed.

Winterapple -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 6:37:32 PM)
You sound like your in the midst of a full blown midlife crisis. Keep on dancing as fast as you can but the reality of life is humans are given a finite number of years and even then you have to factor in the possibility of being hit by a bus. In the back of your mind you know you're getting older and you feel mortality breathing down your neck. You're grasping at the idea that by leaving your genes behind you will have skated death to some degree. Which is utter nonsense but a common thought pattern amongst males. Most of the reasons for having children are selfish ones so you're no worse than most on that one. But I don't think the reality of being a father is something you've given much thought to. It's no elixir of youth, it adds years. And it's damned generous of you to be willing to consider an 18 year old to be your baby mama. I'm sure spending her young adult years in the fashion you did would be an awful waste compared to being the vehicle that carries your immortality inside her. It's generally a good idea to grow up before you become a parent. When and if you finally do you'll have a better handle on what being a parent really means.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:07:04 PM)
I lovin the hate here on this thread. I know exactly what parenthood has in store for me. I'm kid broken in, tried and tested true already. Father figure to 4 kids which were not my own. All of which I would not trade for the world. It's rather interesting to see the hater posts. That I'm somehow removed from the reality, when I've been asshole deep in with 4 kids which were not my own. In regards to how they all have turned out, they turned out really great. Seriously, these kids all were A students and even excelled at whatever they have choosen to do. There was this key concept of "Believe in yourself" which was drilled into their minds. Amazing places what Believing in yourself can do. To work at things, to believe in yourself and to be encouraged to use your mind. There really was not a lot of shit which was hidden from them either. Not in terms of the harsh realities of the world. Everything ain't Rainbows, Skittles and unicorns. Bad things will happen. Bad things will happen to good people even. I've lived and experienced already what a difference the things said to kids matter. Even the kind of encouragement and support which is needed. I've done the school shopping trips, the little league games, the dance recitals, even those last minute trips to the store for poster board for school projects. Dealt with sibbling disputes and fights. Drilled in the message about Drugs and etc. I've had to deal with making certain food on the table, bills payed... go to work, come home and spend time helping kids out with homework. Dealt with poorly written school books, then teaching them how to learn things using this crazy books from hell. I see some people are still stuck on the 18 years old thing. This is illregardless that I've so expressed somebody younger than me.. up to their Mid 30's! LOL This is just like a one big can of crack me the fuck up... with some of the hater posts!

angelikaJ -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:26:59 PM)
I hope you get that I have no hate for you. My experience with older guys and much younger women is connected to the experience of a good friend. He was always attracted to much younger women and despite his looking his age, could always find them. And a few years ago he figured something out, that no matter how intelligent they were, or how they were "old for their age" at some point he would want to talk with them and they often had no idea what he was talking about if he spoke about things connected to his generation. Past the surface, they had nothing in common. I don't think you would be a bad dad or are somehow bad for wanting kids. I just think you haven't thought of all the possible repercussions if that desire came into being. Most of the people who offered a different perspective or opinion don't hate you either... at least when I read their posts I did not read that emotion into their simple disagreement. Why are you seeing it as them being hateful toward you?

graceadieu -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:32:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I confess to a certain amount of tl:dr here. I have pretty strong feelings about kids with older parents. How old will you be when the kid graduates high school? Will you have to discuss your durable healthcare power of attorney with them just in case they get a phone call while they're at college? That's a very good point. Taking care of a terminally ill parent at 20 is very, very hard. Now, it can happen to anybody - my dad just got cancer very young - but I think that someone who starts trying to have kids in their 50s is pretty likely to put their kids in that situation. I can't help but think that's a little selfish.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:35:16 PM)
I have no hate for him either, in fact I don't know him but as to this part? Yup. Exactly, and I know this from personal first hand experience, because Daddy is 11 years older than me, and there's a lot of references I won't get, life experiences I can't possibly begin to relate to, and just an over all sense of him feeling old when he thinks about the fact when he was in college and stuff I was barely 3. Most the time it's not noticeable, between us or doesn't come up much, but he will ask me something about have I ever heard of some musician or something, or some show or something and I'll be like who? and he's like you know the............ and I am like no honey, that's long before my time. And then he's like oh yeah that's right I forgot. Or sometimes he'll say wow I feel so old. quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I hope you get that I have no hate for you. My experience with older guys and much younger women is connected to the experience of a good friend. And a few years ago he figured something out, that no matter how intelligent they were, or how they were "old for their age" at some point he would want to talk with them and they often had no idea what he was talking about if he spoke about things connected to his generation.

sexyred1 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:35:40 PM)
I have not heard any hatred either. I only hear people offering their opinions, which you asked for. I also heard some good points about the age of parents impacting birth defects. My brother waited till age 40 to have kids and he has an autistic son. While he is an adored child, it is so much work that I am not sure if his wife was alot younger than him (she is his age) they could deal with it. They had to grow up very fast after having a jet set type of life and now everything is about my nephew. Seriously, if you are reading hatred into the replies, it must be your own perception.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:37:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 I lovin the hate here on this thread. I know exactly what parenthood has in store for me. I'm kid broken in, tried and tested true already. Father figure to 4 kids which were not my own. All of which I would not trade for the world. It's rather interesting to see the hater posts. That I'm somehow removed from the reality, when I've been asshole deep in with 4 kids which were not my own. In regards to how they all have turned out, they turned out really great. Seriously, these kids all were A students and even excelled at whatever they have choosen to do. There was this key concept of "Believe in yourself" which was drilled into their minds. Amazing places what Believing in yourself can do. To work at things, to believe in yourself and to be encouraged to use your mind. There really was not a lot of shit which was hidden from them either. Not in terms of the harsh realities of the world. Everything ain't Rainbows, Skittles and unicorns. Bad things will happen. Bad things will happen to good people even. I've lived and experienced already what a difference the things said to kids matter. Even the kind of encouragement and support which is needed. I've done the school shopping trips, the little league games, the dance recitals, even those last minute trips to the store for poster board for school projects. Dealt with sibbling disputes and fights. Drilled in the message about Drugs and etc. I've had to deal with making certain food on the table, bills payed... go to work, come home and spend time helping kids out with homework. Dealt with poorly written school books, then teaching them how to learn things using this crazy books from hell. I see some people are still stuck on the 18 years old thing. This is illregardless that I've so expressed somebody younger than me.. up to their Mid 30's! LOL This is just like a one big can of crack me the fuck up... with some of the hater posts! Well many of us are telling you to just make a decision and do what you want to do. And again, I will ask the question I posed earlier. I'm not sure what advice exactly you are here to seek. Just do what you want to do. It's a free country. [&:]

xssve -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:41:29 PM)
What do you want, permission? To tag a 20 something, or 18 something, or whatever she is? I think this falls under the heading of 'mid-life crisis", and I'm pretty sure you're entitled to one, by law - subject of course to the approval of your wife, and possibly, the girls father.

Winterapple -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:50:28 PM)
Stop being such a drama queen nobody on this thread hates you. I was granted a little harsh but I wasn't trying to be venomous. I don't assume that you would be a bad father and if it's something you decide to actively pursue I wish you the best. I do think you're displaying the common symptoms of a midlife crisis. All humans who make it to the halfway point have them to one degree or another. It's great that you helped your girlfriend with her kids but it's not the same thing as being responsible for bringing a child into the world and being legally obligated to said child til they reach adulthood. And if you can't see the potential folly of partnering with a teenager then that's you're shortsightedness but don't expect others to be as myopic to spare your vanity. Generation gaps are about more than tastes in popular culture. Just because someone sees something differently than you or has another take on something doesn't mean they hate you or wish you ill will. At 40+ years you should be able to understand that intellectually and emotionally.

sexyred1 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:53:51 PM)
Just to hijack for one moment, the age thing is always popping up. A few minutes ago on the other side, a very adorable 28 year old "Master" wrote me and asked to chat. I politely thanked him and said he was too young for me. He went on to use that tried and true line of "but, age is just a number!! give Me a chance!". I politely told him that for sex, age is just a number. For relationship material, age is not just a number because it takes more than bodies to have compatibility.

xssve -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 7:59:58 PM)
Personally, I think any woman given the opportunity should take the young man and teach him something his next girlfriend will thank you for. I think as rule, these things work out as mentoring relationships better than they do as LTR's, but there's always an exception or two.

LaTigresse -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:02:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 I lovin the hate here on this thread. I know exactly what parenthood has in store for me. I'm kid broken in, tried and tested true already. Father figure to 4 kids which were not my own. All of which I would not trade for the world. It's rather interesting to see the hater posts. That I'm somehow removed from the reality, when I've been asshole deep in with 4 kids which were not my own. In regards to how they all have turned out, they turned out really great. Seriously, these kids all were A students and even excelled at whatever they have choosen to do. There was this key concept of "Believe in yourself" which was drilled into their minds. Amazing places what Believing in yourself can do. To work at things, to believe in yourself and to be encouraged to use your mind. There really was not a lot of shit which was hidden from them either. Not in terms of the harsh realities of the world. Everything ain't Rainbows, Skittles and unicorns. Bad things will happen. Bad things will happen to good people even. I've lived and experienced already what a difference the things said to kids matter. Even the kind of encouragement and support which is needed. I've done the school shopping trips, the little league games, the dance recitals, even those last minute trips to the store for poster board for school projects. Dealt with sibbling disputes and fights. Drilled in the message about Drugs and etc. I've had to deal with making certain food on the table, bills payed... go to work, come home and spend time helping kids out with homework. Dealt with poorly written school books, then teaching them how to learn things using this crazy books from hell. I see some people are still stuck on the 18 years old thing. This is illregardless that I've so expressed somebody younger than me.. up to their Mid 30's! LOL This is just like a one big can of crack me the fuck up... with some of the hater posts! Quit projecting your own shit onto others. Seriously dude. All things considered, the way this thread has gone and how I've seen others similar go.........you've been given the kid glove treatment. Get the fuck over yourself. After further consideration....... Yanno Whip. This ain't your first rodeo. You've seen how this place works and have more than half a clue what gets shit stirred. Don't feign surprise when you get the same results that innumerable idiots have gotten when you try the same dumbassery they have.

kitkat105 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:14:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Winterapple You sound like your in the midst of a full blown midlife crisis. I think it's a bit of this. You either want kids or you don't. They aren't really something you think "maybe" about. Procreation is not necessary to have a perfectly fulfilling, interesting, rewarding life. Children aren't on our radar for a multitude of reasons. So enjoy whatever "your type" is and hopefully they think you are their type as well. But don't be surprised if one day your genetics fail you and you have to reevaluate.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:40:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Winterapple Stop being such a drama queen nobody on this thread hates you. I was granted a little harsh but I wasn't trying to be venomous. I don't assume that you would be a bad father and if it's something you decide to actively pursue I wish you the best. I do think you're displaying the common symptoms of a midlife crisis. All humans who make it to the halfway point have them to one degree or another. It's great that you helped your girlfriend with her kids but it's not the same thing as being responsible for bringing a child into the world and being legally obligated to said child til they reach adulthood. And if you can't see the potential folly of partnering with a teenager then that's you're shortsightedness but don't expect others to be as myopic to spare your vanity. Generation gaps are about more than tastes in popular culture. Just because someone sees something differently than you or has another take on something doesn't mean they hate you or wish you ill will. At 40+ years you should be able to understand that intellectually and emotionally. There is a potential folly of partnering with a teenage. LOL.. Again, I've clarified the age range here. Up to Mid 30's which has been on my mind. Also, that if I had to pick one specific age out of the range. It's around 28. Old enough to have been around. It's rather difficult to not not take the words "You" or "your" as a personal projection stand point of view. So when I read things such as "It's generally a good idea to grow up before you become a parent. When and if you finally do you'll have a better handle on what being a parent really means." it does not come off sounding like... It's generally a good idea for people to grow up before becoming a parent. When and if they do they'll have a better handle on what being a parent really means. There is a big difference in how things are directed. LaTigress... this shit ain't my fucking imagination of projection. I've gone so far to cite a very specific example of something I was responding to. The use of personal pronouns does count in how things come off in written form. I could see you slamming me for personal projection, if what was written was like this... It's generally a good idea for one to grow up before becoming a parent. When and if they do they'll have a better handle on what being a parent really means. instead of this.... "It's generally a good idea to grow up before you become a parent. When and if you finally do you'll have a better handle on what being a parent really means." There's a difference. For the record, I do have some sense and matter of pride in this world over certain things. If this Bothers you LaTigerness.. that's more of your issue than it is mine. Cause I ain't taking it back nor feeling ashame of it one damn fucking bit! I have no shame about it, I'm not going to apologize for it. FUCK YOU right back at you for even going there in an attempt to shame me for it. You know all and all, I'm just another human being on the face of this crazy world. I have my share of failures, ups and downs, beautiful moments, crappy shitty fucking moments. I've also touched people lives in good ways, and hell probally even not so great ways at times. I'm a human being. There's no shame in one being able to express certain things. Even more so when it comes to beautiful things which they were a part of. People should be proud of certain things in this world and in their life time. If that is taken away from them, what does a person have left to be proud about? I'd sincerely would like to understand how I'm magically personally projecting shit... when the use of the personal pronoun in the singlar tense is being tossed out at me??

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:46:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 I lovin the hate here on this thread. I know exactly what parenthood has in store for me. I'm kid broken in, tried and tested true already. Father figure to 4 kids which were not my own. All of which I would not trade for the world. It's rather interesting to see the hater posts. That I'm somehow removed from the reality, when I've been asshole deep in with 4 kids which were not my own. In regards to how they all have turned out, they turned out really great. Seriously, these kids all were A students and even excelled at whatever they have choosen to do. There was this key concept of "Believe in yourself" which was drilled into their minds. Amazing places what Believing in yourself can do. To work at things, to believe in yourself and to be encouraged to use your mind. There really was not a lot of shit which was hidden from them either. Not in terms of the harsh realities of the world. Everything ain't Rainbows, Skittles and unicorns. Bad things will happen. Bad things will happen to good people even. I've lived and experienced already what a difference the things said to kids matter. Even the kind of encouragement and support which is needed. I've done the school shopping trips, the little league games, the dance recitals, even those last minute trips to the store for poster board for school projects. Dealt with sibbling disputes and fights. Drilled in the message about Drugs and etc. I've had to deal with making certain food on the table, bills payed... go to work, come home and spend time helping kids out with homework. Dealt with poorly written school books, then teaching them how to learn things using this crazy books from hell. I see some people are still stuck on the 18 years old thing. This is illregardless that I've so expressed somebody younger than me.. up to their Mid 30's! LOL This is just like a one big can of crack me the fuck up... with some of the hater posts! Quit projecting your own shit onto others. Seriously dude. All things considered, the way this thread has gone and how I've seen others similar go.........you've been given the kid glove treatment. Get the fuck over yourself. The use of the singlar tense personal pronouns such as "you". Please explain what you are seeing as Projecting here?

littlewonder -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:52:36 PM)
I'm kinda in the opposite of the situation you are in Whiplash. Before I met Master, I had a difficult time dating men my own age because they were in their prime, ready to settle down and have children. I'm 40 and so men always thought that I would want the same thing as they do but the thing is, I already have an adult child, I've been married, I've done the white picket fence thing and I cannot have anymore children nor do I want anymore. When I always let these men know ahead of time of my situation, they would always say "that's fine. I can do without" only to find out later that they really did want children of their own and so the dates usually only lasted about a week or so. I think it's good that you are very aware of what you want so you can communicate this clearly with someone instead of leading them on only for them to get hurt or disappointed. I wish though that I could give you some advice though but unfortunately you're at that in between age where men your age have this consideration to deal with. I wish you luck.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 8:54:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 I lovin the hate here on this thread. I know exactly what parenthood has in store for me. I'm kid broken in, tried and tested true already. Father figure to 4 kids which were not my own. All of which I would not trade for the world. It's rather interesting to see the hater posts. That I'm somehow removed from the reality, when I've been asshole deep in with 4 kids which were not my own. In regards to how they all have turned out, they turned out really great. Seriously, these kids all were A students and even excelled at whatever they have choosen to do. There was this key concept of "Believe in yourself" which was drilled into their minds. Amazing places what Believing in yourself can do. To work at things, to believe in yourself and to be encouraged to use your mind. There really was not a lot of shit which was hidden from them either. Not in terms of the harsh realities of the world. Everything ain't Rainbows, Skittles and unicorns. Bad things will happen. Bad things will happen to good people even. I've lived and experienced already what a difference the things said to kids matter. Even the kind of encouragement and support which is needed. I've done the school shopping trips, the little league games, the dance recitals, even those last minute trips to the store for poster board for school projects. Dealt with sibbling disputes and fights. Drilled in the message about Drugs and etc. I've had to deal with making certain food on the table, bills payed... go to work, come home and spend time helping kids out with homework. Dealt with poorly written school books, then teaching them how to learn things using this crazy books from hell. I see some people are still stuck on the 18 years old thing. This is illregardless that I've so expressed somebody younger than me.. up to their Mid 30's! LOL This is just like a one big can of crack me the fuck up... with some of the hater posts! Quit projecting your own shit onto others. Seriously dude. All things considered, the way this thread has gone and how I've seen others similar go.........you've been given the kid glove treatment. Get the fuck over yourself. After further consideration....... Yanno Whip. This ain't your first rodeo. You've seen how this place works and have more than half a clue what gets shit stirred. Don't feign surprise when you get the same results that innumerable idiots have gotten when you try the same dumbassery they have. YaIdono... this ain't my first rodeo. The results vary along with mileage. I'm still all ears on the projection business. When I'm responding to things specifically directed at me using the singlar tense of "You" instead of the plural form. Perhaps, I'm mistaking what you mean by projecting. Perhaps not. Though you have accused me of this before in the past. So, I'm looking for some specific clarification and context here.

OsideGirl -> RE: The Age difference factor (9/16/2012 9:23:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Many of us don't have children, yet manage to touch lives anyway. I have no hate and it to me it seems like you're trying to make an informed decision. But, I will say that Hibbie and I agree. I can't have children and we decided to just go with that and live full lives. We are heavily involved in several charities and are leaving a legacy whether anybody else recognizes it or not.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.1083984