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Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 8:58:46 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		When woman state no men under a certain age..I am just curious is it because of the actual age or the suspected maturity level of the individuals?

I am sure it depends on the person in certain circumstances but the few people i asked say that it is about the maturity level. I always respond with the same comment basically about age does not necessarily reflect on the maturity level of an individual.

but then i thought maybe they were talking about the maturity level in the lifestyle? I don't know for sure..just curious your thoughts about it?
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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:08:58 PM   
fluffypet67


Posts: 4421
Joined: 3/8/2012
From: Moorestown, NJ
Status: offline 		i prefer a relationship with a man my age (60's) or at least older than my son (40's). It's not maturity so much as common history and interests.

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:19:11 PM   
CougarRick


Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

When woman state no men under a certain age..


Heartbreaking when they say that

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:20:51 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Especially when they put it at the very end of their profile! hahaha

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:27:01 PM   
CougarRick


Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

Especially when they put it at the very end of their profile! hahaha



I absolutely ADORE older women. To me women start getting sexy in their mid 30's. I can talk confidently with girls my own age, but older women make me melt, and get all blushy.

Sadly most are up front about wanting men and not "boys", and do not find the MILF fantasy as enticing as us young guys find it

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:32:06 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I can not say i agree with you there buddy..If you are only having this "MILF fantasy" you speak of than i can already tell you are going about this for the wrong reasons!

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 9:37:47 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick
Sadly most are up front about wanting men and not "boys", and do not find the MILF fantasy as enticing as us young guys find it


Yea, unfortunately most women aren't into the Mother/Son thing as much as they're into the Daddy/Daughter thing. It's tough to feel that way about someone who needs mothering. And when you're not running into that wall, you're running into the "I don't want to go out and have people think you're my son" thing. For some reason, society still frowns on cougar women the way it doesn't on the men...

OP, there's a lot more things at play than "maturity". Common interests and frames of references, for example, or what her personal association with your age group is. Also realise that what you think is maturity may not be the same as what a woman 20 years older than you think of as maturity :p

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 10:36:05 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		It's not just about the maturity level for me, it's about the actual age. I prefer guys within 10 years of my age in either direction, mid-40s to mid-60s. I'm not into Mommy/boy and I won't get involved w/ someone my kids' age (31 & 34) or younger. I want someone in my own age bracket with similar interests and, yes, a similar maturity level.

NBMG

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 10:40:45 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I just feel like automatically it is thought of as a "mother/son" deal..maybe that just depends on if you have kids or not...

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 10:41:00 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I like the young people as pals, not partners. If I could have given birth to you, welcome to the friendzone.

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/20/2012 10:58:24 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Haha! i love the friendzone reference !

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 2:27:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I've got a copy of that thread from last night if you'd like to talk about maturity level.

From the women that I know in person, none of them have a dynamic with anyone twenty years their junior. If you think about it, some of us have kids in that age range, so it's a complete turn off.

The experience level is going to be vastly different. Not just BDSM experience, but life experience as well. A primary partner that couldn't hold a conversation with Me about half of the historical references during life wouldn't hold My interest much. Your education at college level is only half finished at best.

In addition, at twenty, there are still many events that you're not old enough to attend. Depending on where you are in the country, you may not be able to go to the local play party, much less major events throughout the year. Not something I'm willing to skip because of being involved with someone that young.


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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 4:05:52 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

Maturity is a relative concept. Even an exceptionally mature 20 year old doesn't have anywhere near the levels of life experience as the average 40 year old. You're comparing someone only a couple of years into adulthood with someone who potentially has decades of looking after themselves, working, paying bills, having grown up relationships.

My husband is 9 years older than me. I think I was a pretty mature 19 year old when we got together, but man, we were just barely within a reasonable age gap. He just had a big chunk more life under his belt than me. I would bore the pants off someone 20 years older than me, I have no doubt.

Age isn't just a number. Sorry! I know it's frustrating when you want to be given a chance, but that doesn't mean those women should have to put their own comfort and preferences aside. Yes, maturity level isn't completely tied to age, but maturing still takes time.



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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 4:10:08 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		thought i would put my in here.
My Owner is 18 years my senior, it works for us, despite the age difference I've been considered a MILF and I don't mind it, having said that I would agree with friends zone metaphor I don't see myself in 20 years going after men who are in their 20's.
so its all about personal preference. With the whole maturity thing, I wouldn't be with a Dom who is my age...unfortunately (through alot of personal experience) they just don't have the IQ prerequisite I need to be happy. shallow I know but if I'm smarter than a Man, I can't submit to him regardless of his age...I've met some very very stupid people in their 30's, 40's and even in their 50's. I will not submit to an inferior being. Its called having standards

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 5:42:01 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

When woman state no men under a certain age..I am just curious is it because of the actual age or the suspected maturity level of the individuals?

I am sure it depends on the person in certain circumstances but the few people i asked say that it is about the maturity level. I always respond with the same comment basically about age does not necessarily reflect on the maturity level of an individual.

but then i thought maybe they were talking about the maturity level in the lifestyle? I don't know for sure..just curious your thoughts about it?


It's both. Even if someone passed the maturity level litmus test they wouldn't be relationship material to me.

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 5:48:37 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		For me it's mostly about maturity. I have made what I like to call the Rhodes Scholar exception - his maturity level was above that of many men my own age.

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 6:02:46 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		It doesn't really matter to me. Whenever I contact a woman, I almost always assume it will be friendship. After chatting for a while, I can gauge whether there might be mutual interest in going further. While it's never gone beyond friendly discussion, I think it might have on one or two occasions. I did once have a lesbian Domme offer her female sub to me for a session should I be in the area.

I HAVE contacted women who state "nobody over 40" in their profile and cheerfully let them know that they made an error and really meant to say 60 instead of 40. They're usually happy someone read their profile and has a sense of humor.

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 7:01:40 AM   
PrincessDonna11


Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline 		It must be me but Ive never thought of the maturity level ( and I have age limits) I just think if someone is older that they are more balanced and have a tad bit more experience and if they are sub its because tey logicly know thats what they are.....

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 7:22:22 AM   
CougarRick


Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I can not say i agree with you there buddy..If you are only having this "MILF fantasy" you speak of than i can already tell you are going about this for the wrong reasons!



No, it's more than just a MILF Fantasy, I would love to actually be in a relationsjip with an older woman. I just used that term for brevity, so as to avoid unneccessary wordlyness

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RE: Just another curious question.. - 9/21/2012 7:27:37 AM   
CougarRick


Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
Yea, unfortunately most women aren't into the Mother/Son thing as much as they're into the Daddy/Daughter thing. It's tough to feel that way about someone who needs mothering. And when you're not running into that wall, you're running into the "I don't want to go out and have people think you're my son" thing. For some reason, society still frowns on cougar women the way it doesn't on the men...



Never really wanted a mother/son thing, that sounds kind of creepy. It's more just being involved with someone who has more life experience . Granted I do like the maturity differention; not sure I can articulate why that is. I guess it's because the dom sub lifestyle would be more than just a sexual thing for me. I like the idea that she would have that emotional advantage over me.

(in reply to Alecta)
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