RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (Full Version)

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Aswad -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 2:16:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

It's not my site, and not my call. But I'm disappointed, and choose not to participate where this is tolerated.


I understand and respect your choice.

You've got my addy and number, as I recall. Else, let me know and I'll forward both.

I'll be sad to see you go. Though I don't often voice it, I've considered giving up on CM myself, more than a few times. Losing ever more of the people that make it rewarding to be here, and keeping almost all that make it frustrating, has been an ongoing and unfortunate trend for some time now, and one that contributes to a slow but steady development in the direction of "not worthwhile", a threshold you've reached before me, but which I don't doubt I will eventually arrive at myself. CM will be diminished by your loss, not for the first time, and almost certainly not for the last.

To everyone else:

I'm thinking the two threads in question were the proverbial straw, not the sole cause of his leaving.

I've held a goodbye-post overnight twice myself this year, so as to not be rash about it. Both times, I decided not to leave. Neither time was about just one thread. The primary motivation to stay is certain people, now. The boards themselves and the threads on the boards aren't good enough to be an independent motivation anymore. Less than a couple dozen posters total make it worthwhile to stay. Well, minus another, now. The second in about a month.

This isn't my place. I don't make the rules, or choose the crowd. I just observe. And the observation is that for the past twenty years of interacting online, I've seen this happen again and again: when good people don't find a place worth staying, it's a ghost town on life support, counting down. While others may think it's good to joke about that and not take it seriously, I'm inclined to think nothing can be more serious for the vitality of any site, and that the "if they care, that's their problem" attitude would be charitable to describe as squatterthink. Then again, I'm one of those sensitive and serious people, myself, so just write it off with everything else.

Which probably fills my quota for less than flattering commentary for the day, local time, anyway.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

P.S.: The above doesn't refer to specific posters in this thread or any other.



BitaTruble -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 3:08:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

It's not my site, and not my call. But I'm disappointed, and choose not to participate where this is tolerated.

Carry on.


MM, I don't know which direction you are going to point your toes but where ever you walk, I hope your path is interesting, challenging and ultimately satsifying.

I'm going to miss reading you.. and that's the highest compliment I can give to someone on an internet forum.

In all you do, Sir, I wish you well.

Celeste









igor2003 -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 3:34:47 PM)

I fully understand your frustration with the way things are sometimes handled here and have often felt the same way. I hope your absence is only temporary. I haven't agreed with you 100% of the time, but I have always respected your thoughts and opinions. Your input will be missed.



tazzygirl -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 3:42:52 PM)

~FR

There was a more offensive post there was pulled. However, I found both to be racist against Native Americans. The more offensive one was pulled, for which I am thankful. Im not so thin skinned that I cannot take a lil dig about war paint.... cant say how many times my dad used that expression when we women would get all dressed up to go out.

But I can see MM's point too. These threads were, for a time, pretty good, intellectually based, for the most part, and the racist belittling was on a sharp decline.

Now it seems to be picking up again. MM decided his best course of action. Mine will be to report them when I see them, save the offending comment and the poster's name, and keep an eye out for further incidence.

Yes, racial slurring is a no no. But the Admins can only do something if we report it.

Would I like to see the "war paint" comment gone? yes. It has no bearing whatsoever on the thread or the OP.

I do hope the Admins revisit that thread and take another look.

~Edited to add

All these complaints.. and no one reported that post?



kdsub -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 4:52:53 PM)

And new blood will arrive... and leave...and arrive... No one here is so important that the site will not do just fine if they leave. Remember the main purpose of this site is not Politics and Religion message boards…This is but a side show and one I don’t really think the powers that be think essential to the site.

I find many interesting people here…even those…no especially those… that I don’t necessarily agree with. It is a great place to discuss world events with like minded kinky people. It would be so boring if this were a site for professors and parliamentary debate.

I just ignore those I choose not to engage and I’ve found most here do the same and most of the time the spammers leave after a short time.

I have thick skin and understand free speech applies to subjects that are distasteful to me and I pick and choose where I want to comment and ignore the rest.

If you were insulted then why not say so in an adult manner and do not read or comment further. If your point of view rings true with the readers then you have made your point.

But if you want to pick up your chips and go home why bother with a post like this…do you really believe others will leave simply because you do?

I too would hate to see you leave because you often have a unique take on subjects that makes me think…but as they say if you must go then” Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out…and Good Luck to you.



Aswad -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 5:25:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

No one here is so important that the site will not do just fine if they leave.


Every bit of research I've seen on the subject states the diametric opposite. Which also correlates well with my experience from different social arenas, and in particular online social arenas such as this one. That aside, I'm glad to see you exemplifying and encapsulating the bulk of the very same thing I was arguing against earlier in such an effective and encompassing manner. Those are the two predominant schools of thought, as far as I can tell, and I think it's good to have the counterpoint here. I don't think it's viable, but that's sort of beside the point.

As you say, the social aspects aren't a key thing to a dating site. The rehashes of terminological confusion, along with all too frequently asked questions on basic human relationship stuff that should be hardwired into each of us, well, those are clearly the more interesting sides of life than current events. If one is after entertainment, anyway. It's been my experience that I have had more dating prospects appear in the P&R sections of different boards than on any five dating sites, but your experience no doubt differs. And, of course, it will always come down to the core question of what they're trying to do. If connecting people is part of it, then a good waterhole is crucial.

Not every community is commercially viable, and keeping a large site going is expensive, but we had a good thing going for a while.

I'm glad he stuck around as long as he did, and sad to see him go, as I've been for the others.

IWYW,
— Aswad.



TheHeretic -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 5:57:51 PM)

FR

Honestly, I can think of a few more up there on CollarChat Olympus I wish would get fed up, and leave. I've been seeing these Grand Old Players make their goodbye posts since the first week I found the forums. (Coincidence? Some might think not.) New faces arrive.

I've had the author of this one respond to me with a straight, unmoderated, "fuck you," as far back as the XI era. I've seen wild-assed strawman attacks that flowed from his keyboard, and a tantrum or two, here and there. If Muse is leaving us, as seems to be the case, I'll raise a glass or three at the wake, because it was possible to have a great discussion with him, sometimes, but you won't want to invite me to the beatification.

If the economy ever picks up enough to put the wife and I back on the same work schedule, I'll be around a lot less too, but I won't blame it on people who are easily cured by application of the block button.







kalikshama -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 6:46:37 PM)

Musicmystery, I've always enjoyed your posts and will miss you. It's posters like you that make P&R worthwhile.

I do hope you come back.



FatDomDaddy -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:12:53 PM)

Wait a second.... War Paint is offensive but Elizabeth Warren's pretending to be an Indian isn't??? What am I missing here?



DomKen -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:16:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Wait a second.... War Paint is offensive but Elizabeth Warren's pretending to be an Indian isn't??? What am I missing here?

You're missing the fact that Warren isn't pretending to be anything.



tazzygirl -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:17:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Wait a second.... War Paint is offensive but Elizabeth Warren's pretending to be an Indian isn't??? What am I missing here?


Pretending? What pretense?



FatDomDaddy -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:22:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

the "please report" strategy





Ah yes... the tattle tale.... keeping Petty Authorities and Totalitarian Oppressors informed since Ooola Aah-go told Chief Gheela Ka-lak that Brooolu Pa-dek said he smelled liked rotten Auroch spleen.



Rule -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:28:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy
War Paint is offensive

I dunno why war paint is offensive. Is it the name of a game or something? I have had war paint on my face and hands when exercising in the military; most soldiers in nearly all armies have at least once a year schmink or dirt on their face, I suspect; mainly for camouflage, but also sometimes as a secondary benefit to frighten and distract an opponent.



tazzygirl -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 8:29:08 PM)

Rules are there for a reason. Report button works for that same reason.

Now, if you dont like that, you know where the exit button is?



FatDomDaddy -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 9:38:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Wait a second.... War Paint is offensive but Elizabeth Warren's pretending to be an Indian isn't??? What am I missing here?


Pretending? What pretense?




One of thirty-two people in her blood line, Mrs. O.C. Sarah Smith, who's father had had a mother (That's five generations ago, one of 32 people) who was likely half Cherokee. So... to find a full blooded (and even that is unlikely given the amount of European genetics with in the Cherokee tribe buy the mid 19th Century) American Indian in Elizabeth Warren's linage one hast to travel back that's six generations(and we are up to 64 people)

1/64th hardly makes one an American Indian especially when one is trying to get special status as a minority like Dr, Warren did for almost 20 years at Penn and Harvard.



DomKen -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 9:43:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Wait a second.... War Paint is offensive but Elizabeth Warren's pretending to be an Indian isn't??? What am I missing here?


Pretending? What pretense?




One of thirty-two people in her blood line, Mrs. O.C. Sarah Smith, who's father had had a mother (That's five generations ago, one of 32 people) who was likely half Cherokee. So... to find a full blooded (and even that is unlikely given the amount of European genetics with in the Cherokee tribe buy the mid 19th Century) American Indian in Elizabeth Warren's linage one hast to travel back that's six generations(and we are up to 64 people)

1/64th hardly makes one an American Indian especially when one is trying to get special status as a minority status as she did for almost 20 years at Penn and Harvard.

6 generations is much farther back than the mid 19th century. For my family that's late 18th century and I'm younger than Warren.

Also it is conclusively proven that she never sought and never received any sort of benefit or special status based on her heritage.



tazzygirl -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 9:45:38 PM)

In addition, many Indian tribes include their own quantum restrictions for citizenship. The Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians requires that you be 1/16 or higher to join, and the United Keetowah Band requires a blood quantum of 1/4 or higher. The Cherokee Nation, on the other hand, has no quantum restrictions. The majority of the Cherokee Nation has 1/4 or less Indian blood.

http://www.allthingscherokee.com/articles_gene_040101.html



FatDomDaddy -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 9:59:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen
6 generations is much farther back than the mid 19th century. For my family that's late 18th century and I'm younger than Warren.


Bull Cookies... there is a woman in my department where I work who is a Great Grandmother and she's 47. BTW her mom, who I also know is 66.





DomKen -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 10:31:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen
6 generations is much farther back than the mid 19th century. For my family that's late 18th century and I'm younger than Warren.


Bull Cookies... there is a woman in my department where I work who is a Great Grandmother and she's 47. BTW her mom, who I also know is 66.

that's 4 women grown from birth to sexual maturity in 66 years. ie. average age at chidbirth is 16.5 years. That's on the extreme low side.

My ancestors back 6 generations average having my ancestor when the mother is over 30 (in two cases ovr 40). The usualy generation range is 25 years and even with that it puts Warren's Cherokee ancestor being born in the early 19th century.



FMRFGOPGAL -> RE: No name calling . . . but racism and mocking dead friends is OK. (9/22/2012 11:13:14 PM)

Sounds like you're calling on the chosen to put their best foot forward.
Then you'll be removing the provocative avatar and getting your OPINION out of women's vaginas?
May I be the first to congratulate you on your selflessness!
Can I get an AMEN here?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
What bothers me even more is serious (or they're meant to be) comments that defame or denigrate but, we see examples of it, all the time. It's very easy, these days, to call someone a racist with little reason to suggest so. It happens all the time and because that is such an easy thing to do and so potentially damaging to a person's life, career, or sense of being it should be curtailed (self-censorship, I'm speaking about) as much as possible but, it won't.

Sometimes, we just have to put on our big boy pants and let idiots be idiots. It's their right.



Peace and comfort,



Michael




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