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Aswad -> RE: Is sexual denial a barrier to intimacy? (9/23/2012 10:27:38 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: subartist
I suppose it's possible, but I've tried this before. If I've been denied orgasms for a significant period of time, like for weeks, there's no way I would be able to hold back an orgasm during penetrative sex. I would last like 2 seconds at most...
Even if you're that sensitive, there are two billion ways to increase endurance.
The easiest is to use topical lidocaine cream which is rinsed off once it's had time to work. It should make it possible to keep at it for a few hours without climaxing. And, of course, most SSRIs will effectively kill either your libido, your orgasms or both. Those work for a long time and have been used in sex offenders in the past, with fewer side effects than antiandrogens.
Of course, it's also possible to train to raise your endurance naturally.
Start confining your masturbation to a regular schedule and completely refuse to indulge the impulse outside that schedule. Keep track of your breathing while you're doing it. Fight the tendency for breathing to grow shallow and rapid, which is part of the body preparing for an orgasm. At first, you should breathe according to an internal, steady four count. (In-spi-ra-tion, h-o-l-d, ex-pi-ra-tion, h-o-l-d, etc.) That'll lead to naturally taking deeper breaths, due to carbon dioxide buildup. Initially, focus on your breathing. Later, you'll be able to focus on what your body is telling you, and experiment with ways to divert it away from where it's going.
Continue by doing other activities while practicing, and learn to focus your attention on those activities, cutting back on the intensity when your body is telling you it's nearing a climax. Bring a regular six sided die or something, and roll it after you've started. If it comes up an even number, finish without orgasm that day, but with normal duration. Cease any intake of caffeine, which tends to make these impulses more frequent and more urgent. Part of the point is to divorce yourself from it and eliminate the attachment to the idea of orgams.
With a bit of time and effort, even someone with a low threshold of stimulation and low endurance will be able to get to the point where it is trivial to maintain an erection without climaxing from stimulation. You'll probably find yourself sometimes changing your mind after you start, deciding you don't really have the motivation to finish. Heck, you could probably get to the point where it's boring, if you just stick with it for a while, though I'm not sure why one would want to get there.
I've no interest in orgasm denial myself, but I've intentionally held back during sexual activity for other purposes, such as prolonging the duration of painfully intense anal sex for sadism, or having a two hour blowjob from a woman with an aversion to semen as part of the process of building down the aversion. Masturbation is something I often extend to anywhere between half an hour to two hours. Beyond a couple of hours, I find it becomes unpleasant afterwards, though, and so I don't do that without a good reason.
While there are dommes with an interest specifically in chastity, I think most would prefer a man that can fuck their brains out while his attention is focused on her, and without having any unauthorized orgasms. That also lends itself to conditioning, by using permission as a reward, and frustration (if you still get that) as a source of energy.
The ladies will have a better idea of that, though.
IWYW,
— Aswad.
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