RE: Pledge?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Pledge?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Pledge?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Pledge? - 9/28/2012 4:37:34 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

One man, who I haven't met in person yet but have corresponded with for a while, is "considering me" and has asked me to write a "pledge to my future Dom" (he made it clear that he is not asking this as "my Dom" because we are not there yet). "Use words to create a vision for your submission and your commitment to it". I am not sure what to do (he is on work travel & I can't get a quick response and he has given me a deadline).

Hahahahahahaha

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to wolf223)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Pledge? - 9/28/2012 7:29:32 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What he wants seems obvious. What kind of relationship do you envision as the one that would most make you happy. Why he's asking this also seems pretty obvious, he wants to see if it matches the ideal relationship for him.

So imagine that you're with Mr Right. How would a typical evening go? Would you be happy scurrying around cooking for him while he watches football? Would you prefer sitting together holding hands? Or you curled up at his feet, while he strokes your hair? I'd leave out the play stuff because presumably you've already discussed that re pain/bondage/humiliation etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to wolf223)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Pledge? - 9/29/2012 6:27:17 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

Some day, a merciful, god-inspired internet flood will wash all those dreadful, turgid "submissive prayer" blogs away. Submissive Pledge? Possibly even worse and more deserving of a good smiting.

_____________________________

I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

(in reply to wolf223)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 11:11:47 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Thank you. I have gone back through all of our emails & I think I understand why he asked for this. You are correct from what I can see. So many of the doms I have talked with seem to not be concerned about being pleased or happy with the sub they select. It is almost as if any sub will do. I get the impression from reading, because I am new and can't say for sure what I want or desire (I have ideas but no experience to say, I definitely want that and not that) the way the "assignment" is worded (after reading several times and in the context of his other emails) is to get me to give thought and to get my own picture of submission solidified so that he can view and decide if we will mesh. I know many think that is a horrible thing for him to do but, to me, I like that he is already showing a responsibility to making sure not just that I am getting what I want but that he gets his needs fulfilled as well. Everyone has been helpful and I am grateful for the assistance.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 11:13:09 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What he wants seems obvious. What kind of relationship do you envision as the one that would most make you happy. Why he's asking this also seems pretty obvious, he wants to see if it matches the ideal relationship for him.

So imagine that you're with Mr Right. How would a typical evening go? Would you be happy scurrying around cooking for him while he watches football? Would you prefer sitting together holding hands? Or you curled up at his feet, while he strokes your hair? I'd leave out the play stuff because presumably you've already discussed that re pain/bondage/humiliation etc.

Sorry I meant to include this in the beginning of my post as I found this poster's statements to be very helpful

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 11:26:53 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I am talking to many doms trying to find my first. One man, who I haven't met in person yet but have corresponded with for a while, is "considering me" and has asked me to write a "pledge to my future Dom" (he made it clear that he is not asking this as "my Dom" because we are not there yet). "Use words to create a vision for your submission and your commitment to it". I am not sure what to do (he is on work travel & I can't get a quick response and he has given me a deadline). Please help me if you have any knowledge of what he might be looking for.

This wouldn't bother me like it bothers some others. If I feel strongly enough about someone that I would be considering being his submissive, then I don't mind throwing myself into it from the get-go. (With a level head.) Opening up and telling him more than I need to seems...logical, really. In my mind, that would establish a certain dynamic going forward - one I would enjoy. So, if you are comfortable opening up to someone in this way, do it. Jeez, I do it tenfold without so much as a prompt. If he's the right man, I kind of won't be able to help myself. So, I say trust your own feeling and if you feel like you want to let him into that part of your head right out of the gate, go ahead and write whatever you are truly feeling. Whether you call it a pledge or not, it can still be a fun and enlightening exercise, even if only just for yourself.

The thing that bothers me here, though, is this: if you are here asking the question of "What should I write?" then you are not in a place that you feel comfortable exposing yourself to him. Because if you were, you would either be asking him this question, or you wouldn't have the question in the first place because you would be comfortable giving him whatever you thought appropriate. So while I am all for jumping in and consequences be damned, I question whether this particular gentleman is the one that really turns your crank.

(Of course, all of the above is with the usual asterisk that I understand not all D/s relationships are like mine, so maybe he doesn't need to be so darn special for you to want to please him this way.)

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 11:33:07 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

When I was still in the dating stages with Master and I became his slave, he used to have me write reports of our times together since we were still long distance and only got to see each other maybe one weekend a month. These reports were his way of knowing what I was thinking, how I felt about him and our time together and playing, etc....It was a way to get inside my head and also for me to learn more about myself and what I needed and to make sure this is really what I wanted.

The difference though was he was not some total stranger online. We had already defined our relationship as M/s and I was already submitting to him. Now had some internet stranger had asked me to write about my submission, I would have rolled my eyes and deleted his email and moved on.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kaliko)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 5:38:53 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

UPDATE: I actually got hold of him (he had told me he was away for work until today) & was able to clarify the assignment. He wanted a "general pledge" not relating to him and I but more of a "what do you want, willing to do...". The deadline was because we are scheduled to meet on Tues and he wanted to read it and use it as a"springboard to discussion" then.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 6:17:27 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

It's a good piece of homework to do for understanding yourself and learning to put it in words, but do it for you, not him.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 6:58:58 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Sounds like he wants you to be an instasub the day you two meet so he can push those little buttons he reads about on that paper.

Why can't you both just go on a normal date and get to know each other and see if the fireworks and bells ring???

Ya know...just talk about normal stuff.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Pledge? - 9/30/2012 7:14:45 PM

Bemyprize

Posts: 43
Joined: 9/26/2012
Status: offline

Relax,

Use the time to figure out what it is that you want. Many submissives/slaves/______ are pliable in that they want to please and will attempt to ...become what they think their partner wishes.

Having the submissive outline up front what she has thought of is fun. It is also fun to have an intelligent woman complete her assignment. If you are enjoying the process then relax. If you are not tell him.

Any Dom has more than one way to get what she wants. The pledge could be great way to hit your hot buttons. You might want to share with him how you are concerned about going to fast. From your profile, you sound like you have examined why and better still what you like.

It sounds like he is taking you up on your request to be mentored. If you where 24 and had a trite.. Im sooo new..give me attention... profile, yes I would tell you to be careful etc. You sound like you have paid the price to understand yourself. Go relax have fun. Tell that part of you that has been kicked in the teeth, lied to and misled that you are going to enjoy yourself, but she can pay attention to see if he doesn't measure up.

I would go to him with a copy of this. Everyone who has found happiness has trusted, (not blindly.. but trusted non the less). Im excited for you. You are going to learn more about yourself. Be safe, listen to all the cynical and jaded folks you can find, but trust just enough to see if he is trust worthy.

You already know that because its in your profile.... so do what you want .. date the guy.... learn, test and trust I for one am betting on you.

Michael

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Pledge? - 10/1/2012 7:59:47 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Sounds like he wants you to be an instasub the day you two meet so he can push those little buttons he reads about on that paper.

Why can't you both just go on a normal date and get to know each other and see if the fireworks and bells ring???

Ya know...just talk about normal stuff.

^^^^ This.

The first meeting is a time for you to decide if you like him. Discussing D/s moves that thought process to your genitals rather than using your head.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bemyprize

It sounds like he is taking you up on your request to be mentored.

Just an FYI, most of us believe that a mentor does not play or engage in sex with their protege.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 32