RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right away?

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 10:31:05 AM

littlewonder

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wow....I've never had enough hair to do the hair flip lol. And lip smacking...that would just be funny if I saw someone doing that. It just looks funny to me.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 10:38:19 AM

OsideGirl

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Actually, I was thinking that most guys never lasted 30 minutes on the first meeting.

I cut 90% of them off within 15 minutes because there either wasn't chemistry, they tried to dominate me on the first meeting or they had lied.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 10:46:04 AM

saundrakitty

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ok, now this ones something a few of us probably never really think about, but me personally from what i experienced with the one time recently- it was his gift to me to let go and submit to me and that made it so much sweeter from Him. that i never take for granted as well as i hope when i am with Sir that he always knows and treasures my ultimate gift to him.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 11:04:16 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stealthmeister

When you offer your submission, the one who accepts it should recognize--and proclaim--that he has received a treasure of incalculable value. A submissive's submission is a pearl of great price...

It has been my experience and observation, MOST people that share the above mindset tend to have not actually been IN, any sort of successful power exchange relationship.

They tend to be stuck in the romance novel fantasy camp.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 11:08:57 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: stealthmeister

When you offer your submission, the one who accepts it should recognize--and proclaim--that he has received a treasure of incalculable value. A submissive's submission is a pearl of great price...

It has been my experience and observation, MOST people that share the above mindset tend to have not actually been IN, any sort of successful power exchange relationship.

They tend to be stuck in the romance novel fantasy camp.

I agree. I don't feel that's he's been blessed with the "gift" of my submission. It's a power EXCHANGE between two people that were lucky enough to find love and compatibility with each other.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/1/2012 11:21:01 AM

oregongirl

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quote:

I agree. I don't feel that's he's been blessed with the "gift" of my submission. It's a power EXCHANGE between two people that were lucky enough to find love and compatibility with each other.

^^^^ Exactly! And it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I used to worry that I would be alone the rest of my life and settled for what was less than love and compatibility, only to feel more of a void in my soul. So I guess I would prefer to be alone than lonely with another. There has got to be a spark and connection, meeting of the minds, otherwise, why bother. Friends can give us a lot as we trudge our way to happy destiny to find that One Special person.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 8:46:59 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oregongirl
I would like to ask the ones who are Masters here....when You or the other has just met online and just getting to know each other, say after a couple of weeks of talking and there is still no consent to submit or dominate, would You expect the sub to say "Sir" or expect the sub to follow your orders or rules? If so, is this a test to see if she is a true submissive?

In very, very, very limited situations I have chosen to extend active dominance long distance. Generally I find that to be imprudent. If I have chosen to do so then, at least by my own assessment, it's truly important and so someone failing to comply would cause issues... but not D/s issues... more like "life issues".

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 10:21:30 AM

RemoteUser

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Since we're on the "gift" issue, I'll reiterate here what I've already said in my journal:

Her submission isn't the gift. She is.

Whether a person talks with you, shares with you, laughs with you, confides in you, holds your hand walking down the street, helps you mess up the bed, showers with you, cries in your arms, supports you, they are giving a part of themselves to you. It's not a gift in the bad-Christmas-choice-that-you-return-to-Walmart-in-thirty-days sense. It's trust - earned, respected, reciprocated - which is given and cannot be demanded (at the very worst, coerced). Opening yourself physically is in no way as deep or profound as opening up mentally and emotionally, exposing the critical parts of yourself that make you, you.

I do cherish and appreciate the ways she serves me, but that's not the sum of her; the totality of her that she shares with me, the exchange of trust and love that binds us together as partners - yes, that is a gift, as far as I'm concerned, one that has immeasurable value. She is the gift, then. All of her. Willingly given, happily received, and what I share in return isn't payment, it's a natural response for me, to her.

(For the non-romantics, you can argue that it's an earned expectation. I'm expressing myself by my default nature.)

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 2:49:48 PM

oregongirl

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RemoteUser: Very nicely said! May I borrow some of your words for my profile? I have been trying to find a way to express what I am looking for and you nailed it! Thank you again :)
OregonGirl

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 4:34:10 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oregongirl

RemoteUser: Very nicely said! May I borrow some of your words for my profile? I have been trying to find a way to express what I am looking for and you nailed it! Thank you again :)
OregonGirl

Help yourself.

And thanks!

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 4:37:33 PM

oregongirl

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RemoteUser, you are such a Dear, thank you!

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 9:06:35 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
Her submission isn't the gift. She is.

Yup, pretty much what I always say too. Carol's submission is simply a reflection of who she is. It isn't some grand hooplah. It's not like she's going way out of her way to do anything in particular. It's just how she thinks. It is just one part of her and by FAR not the most important part.

Now Carol herself? That is an entirely different question. I didn't deserve her when I found her. I struggle to be worthy of being her partner to this day. I see her as a wonderful gift the universe threw my way and I'm mightily glad I had the wisdom to take advantage of it.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/3/2012 9:42:08 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Actually, I was thinking that most guys never lasted 30 minutes on the first meeting.

I cut 90% of them off within 15 minutes because there either wasn't chemistry, they tried to dominate me on the first meeting or they had lied.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Long enough to finish my coffee and I was out the door.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 5:50:02 AM

stealthmeister

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Well, you newcomers obviously have no idea who I am. Feel free to play the game your way but we are not engaged in the same spectrum. This is the wrong community for a non-lifestyle traditionalist like myself.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 6:40:02 AM

GreedyTop

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*blink*

are we SUPPOSED to know who you are?

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 6:50:22 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

Well, you newcomers obviously have no idea who I am.

I've been working very hard to stop associating you with this guy.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 6:51:32 AM

littlewonder

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can't say I know who he is. But whoever you are, if this place isn't for you then good luck in your search elsewhere.

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 7:29:17 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*blink*

are we SUPPOSED to know who you are?

Pfffftttttt! You mean you were not formally introduced at the cocktail party he hosted last Saturday evening?!?!?

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 7:40:26 AM

GreedyTop

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No, sadly, I was working. *sigh* I miss all the parties with my schedule....

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RE: Is submissiveness a gift to You or expected right a... - 10/4/2012 8:52:49 AM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Now Carol herself? That is an entirely different question. I didn't deserve her when I found her. I struggle to be worthy of being her partner to this day. I see her as a wonderful gift the universe threw my way and I'm mightily glad I had the wisdom to take advantage of it.

You and I think a lot alike.

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