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RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:27:58 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Ooops, that was a typo. I meant is not calling a dominant by the name He wishes a punishable offense. Meaning, should a submissive be punished if she does not adress him correctly


My submissives generally call me "John."  Of course, they also occasionally call me "you god damn sadistic bastard" but that's usually accompanied by a scream.

I know other dominants who like to be called "Master."  Guess it's what works for them.

If someone calls me something I don't like. I explain that it is displeasing to me. If the behavior is repeated, I'll reevaluate the relationship since I see a submissive as catering to my needs.

I don't punish.  I see it as a waste of time.  If someone isn't willing to please me, I don't need her around.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:30:10 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Ooops, that was a typo. I meant is not calling a dominant by the name He wishes a punishable offense. Meaning, should a submissive be punished if she does not adress him correctly


Depends on the relationship.

My previous relationship was high protocol and I called him "Sir". I was never punished for not using the title. Although he would use it as an excuse to add more swats during a scene.

My current relationship is low protocol. He told me to look inside of myself and address him with what was in my heart. I call him Daddy, to others in the community I refer to him as Master, in front of 'nillas I call him by his given name.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:51:49 AM   
FloridaISIS


Posts: 235
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha
You are always going to get the hot head that says "I'm a Master and you will address me as such" but really most people are secure enough in themselves to know who and what they are and have no need or desire to constantly remind everyone.


I totally agree with akisha. Most in the lifestyle are secure in who they are, and no title is needed other than Sir or Ma'am. My belief is  no one should be addressed as Master or Mistress except by their own collared slave.  However, and this has never happened yet, at a club I would address them as everyone else does, but so far, it's always been by their name, or Sir--- or Miss---.

I will call mine Daddy, Sir, My love, hon, or some other term of endearment that still shows my love and respect of him.   I usually reserve "Master" for those times when I'm feeling a little unsure of myself, if I have a question I'm scared to ask him, or when I am being disciplined or punished.  This is just me though.


quote:

  Original:  John Warren
Of course, they also occasionally call me "you god damn sadistic bastard" but that's usually accompanied by a scream.


I laughed my arse off with that one. During a punishment (paddling) I believe I said, " owwwww, oh shit, son of a bitch".  Luckily, I don't think he took it as me directly addressing him as an S.O.B.

edited a 4th time, cos I type like chit.

Isis

< Message edited by FloridaISIS -- 6/13/2006 11:58:03 AM >

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:58:10 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Like Master Fire I have a basic protocol for forms of address.

All Dominants with more time in the community than the slave/submissive are Sir/Ma'am as a default.
The submiive or slave is expected to change that form of address to fit the person so long as it does not violate my protocol.
The submissive/ slave/ boy can upgrade the honnorific if they feel the person warrants the upgrade.
The submissive/slave/boy can ask me for permission to downgrade the honorific along with explination of why they feel it should be done.

Jr Dominants in my hands for training are to use Sir/ Ma'am the same way, with the addition that very senior slaves warrant a Sir/ Ma'am until such a time as I advise them differently.

I still refer to some senior slaves as Sir/ Ma'am after 11 years in the public lifestyle and there are many senior to me Dominants who I call Sir or Ma'am as well.

Only submissives who are mine are expected to call me Master, and only they are generally permitted to use it alone. Submissives who do not belong to me can use any form they feel appropriate for me Archer, Sir, up to Master Archer, but never just Master.

Just my protocol
In Leather

Archer


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 1:01:42 PM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on where I am and who I'm speaking with.

My girl has always called Me " Master T.R.", even when first meeting Me... simply because she knew that I was "known" to be a Gorean, and that is said protocol for Goreans. Its her showing respect for Me.
Once I collared her, she dropped the "T.R." and just simply calls Me "Master"... anywhere, anytime, no matter the company we're in... we don't hide our lifestyle.

So far as others, it depends on whom she is speaking with.... if she knows them to be Gorean... then she calls them "Master" or "Mistress"... if they are of the bdsm lifestyle, and she knows them well enough to garner some respect for them... then its "Sir" or "Ma'am"... if its just someone she considers an acquaintence, she calls them by a familiar term... like a first name.
If its someone that is unknown to her, trolling in an email or something... then she starts out with " with all due respect..." etc etc...

in person... its always Sir or Ma'am, as she has been trained to be a direct reflection of Me in her actions... so she strives for beauty in all that she does.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 1:41:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelface183

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I find myself doing that too,.... Hunny and Sweetie.... the more time I spend talking to him the less I call him by his given name..lol


I had a friend over last week when SD was here.  I was trying to tell the friend a story about Master and completely blanked on His name!  Later the friend was telling a story about me and Master told me later that He almost asked "Who's Kim?" because He calls me slave, slut, or whore!


I know about the blanking out thing....lol.. It happened last night when we were talking on the phone and I went to say his name.

He calls me "strumpet" or "darlin" and rarely by my name.. although he occasionally does...ll

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 1:43:37 PM   
Brosco


Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline 		I have never insisted on any title - I prefer to hear what came from the heart - its another piece of 'information' for me to let me know where the mindset is.

I would never expect a title from anyone that isn't my sub.

I would never want my sub to call another by a title, except perhaps when there is someone that we both respect has been very helpful then a 'Sir' to acknowledge that is reasonable.

In an online environment I usually make a point of removing the 'sir' or 'master' someone has put in their nickname.  Respect is earned, not demanded.

Brosco

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 1:45:51 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

It's a sign of respect, is it not?

Is not calling a dominant a punishable offense? Please don't answer this question with 'it depends on the dominant'. I would like your opinion, that's why i'm asking this question.



I do not call my dominant Daddy all the time because there are others around sometimes. I cannot imagine being punished for not calling him Daddy unless he told me specifically to do so at a given time. You asked for my opinion though... I would not personally want to be with a dominant that told me I had to call him that in every situation whether socially acceptable or not.. it would not work for me in my life to take him to an academic conference for example and introduce him as "This is my Lord"... it just wouldnt work in my life. It would not work in front of my son even after he is grown either.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 3:19:49 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		My little one calls me Daddy most of the time,  Master sometimes,  and the rest of the time just by my name.  She is the only one who calls me Master since she is the one I own (hell  it would also get a little iffy if anyone else called me Daddy).  I generally do not like being called even sir by those that I am not involved in some way with.  I understand that at times people are trying to show respect  so I let it go, but I would rather just be addressed by my name.

K

of course there have been the sadistic bastard,  evil prick,  etccc. comments tossed out by people on the other end of the toys, lol

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 6:17:31 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		My sub used to call me Mistress in private and my name in public. But there were times he would slip and call me Mistress in public. Once we were at a restaurant and he called to me "Mistress, did you want more coffee?" He didnt even know he had said it til he sat down and asked why I was looking at him strangely lol It just came naturally to him to use Mistress.

_____________________________





(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 7:18:14 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

It's a sign of respect, is it not?

Is not calling a dominant a punishable offense? Please don't answer this question with 'it depends on the dominant'. I would like your opinion, that's why i'm asking this question.



Not addressing a dominant by Sir or Master will get you introuble usually only in a chat (IRC) environment.

If you are in a Gorean chat room all Free Men are refered to as Master, all Free Women are referred to as Mistress or myLady or Ma'am.

In a non Gorean room all Dominant men are Sir, and Dominant women are Ma'am.

Now in real life most people aren't that anal retentive.

Personally i tend to refer to men as Sir and women as Ma'am but that is how i was raised. I address with respect until such time respect is no longer there. If i'm introduced to someone as Master so and so i will then refer to them as such, unless told otherwise. It's polite. I like to stick to Sir and Ma'am for the basic reason that i'm terrible with names, especially if i'm meet a large number of people all at the same time.

You are always going to get the hot head that says "I'm a Master and you will address me as such" but really most people are secure enough in themselves to know who and what they are and have no need or desire to constantly remind everyone.

Just my experiences *smiles*

editted due to the fact i'm having a blonde day


Pretty much the same in regards as to how I talk with others.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 7:22:34 PM   
BigDaddySupreme


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

It's a sign of respect, is it not?

Is not calling a dominant a punishable offense? Please don't answer this question with 'it depends on the dominant'. I would like your opinion, that's why i'm asking this question.



1. It is a sign of respect for him and for you and what you two have together.  How could you disrespect the dominant that you give your heart mind body and soul too?  That person deserves 100% of your total committed respect.  Sir/Master/Daddy (from pimpin) or whatever he deems.  

2. Not calling?  I think your reffering to calling him on the phone.  My bitch betta show her love by staying in touch.  When she wakes up her first thought should be of me and until she drops to sleep it betta stay on me.  Otherwise I haven't done my job properly!

3. If your not feeling any respect for your man then it's his fault!  Not yours.


(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 9:20:52 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I pretty much always call Master, Master. Sometimes I will call him darling or honey, which he allows sometimes...but other times like last night, he said to me 'good night jali' and i replied  'good night darling' and then he repeated himself..."and I said the same thing cause I didnt think he heard me...then he repeated himself again...and I replied the same way...(I'm a bit slow sometimes)...then he looked at me...and then I got it and said "good night Master". *grin*

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 10:21:59 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Hubby doesn't want me to call Him Sir, even though i would like to when playing. Occassionally i do it anyway, especially when thanking Him for something.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 10:29:05 PM   
missalice


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer to be called Miss Alice at all times.... Mistress is second best. I only insist upon it with highly trained slaves who are in formal modes of communication.... I also do not object to my slaves calling me "Goddess" when they are feeling particularly reverent..

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 10:40:06 PM   
brattysub4


Posts: 189
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		two of the Doms i have been with  niether one  had me call them Sir ,Master unless in role play just the way they was.but one  insisted i called him Sir so it varies with each different Dom .

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 10:56:52 PM   
mastersayed


Posts: 119
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		according to my knowledge, Master is for slaves and Sir is for subs. My slave calls me master, but in my opinion, whatever floats your boat, gets you hard and gets her wet.

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:44:29 PM   
titching


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		i refer to my Dominant as Sir for the time being, if/when i am collared, we will agree upon the name that i will call Him. when W/we are in mixed company, i refer to Him by his first name. i learned quickly not to use Sir in public. it is a boundary that should be set up between you and your Dom/Domme

(in reply to mastersayed)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/13/2006 11:52:43 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

This thread is for the opinion of both dominants and submissives: In either scening, or in a 24/7 relationship, do you or does your dominant require the use of Master/Mistress or Sir?


I am of the mind that a girl who seeks to serve me and who may even be under my developing influence is proper in referring to me as "Sir". It is a general term of respect to the male that we are all familiar with.

"Master" is a word of far greater significance and meaning. For what is the worth in anything that can be so easily achieved? In my life, few are allowed to speak it when addressing me.

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When to use Master or Sir - 6/14/2006 12:07:20 AM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I might be showing my ignorance here, but why is Master a wore of 'greater signifcance and meaning'?

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 40
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