RE: Telling a partner about humiliation

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Telling a partner about humiliation

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 8:56:21 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

If we had a nickel for every cheating SOB that shows up on these forums, trying to justify their cheating in the name of a buuurrrrrnnnning kink need..........at the very least we could buy everyone a round of expensive coffees.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 8:57:44 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Indeed. I'll have a skinny frappuccino please

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 8:58:42 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

hell, LaT, I think that with all those nickles, we could at least get you all those camera accessories/cameras you want! And I could get my car paid off, too!! LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 9:43:39 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Yes! New camera gear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will have the EOS 1DX please. With a EF 800mm f/5.6L IS USM lens.

Just for starters.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 4:46:36 PM

descrite

Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

did any of you truly know what you wanted at 21?

OP, there are plenty of people on this forum who agree with you completely.

In fact, I'm disagreeing with several of them right now on another thread; they claim that men are not the same at 15 as they are at 50.

You do not require vindication in your evolving awareness of your own needs; however, there are many people who have been where you are now, and gone through similar experiences. You are not alone. You deserve fulfillment. That may or may not include the presence of your spouse/partner. That need will not diminish or go away...nor will your resentment, if your spouse/partner is the reason you are not fulfilled.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 5:10:24 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

OP, it isn't fair to your wife if you just go find yourself a Mistress without ever talking to her and giving her a chance to be your Mistress. Hell, it's not even fair to you wife for you to go around assuming she is vanilla and demure just because she is nice to you and wants to make you happy. She IS your wife and she DOES love you, after all. There is room for both, you just have to give it a chance.

Don't dump it all on her at once, just introduce small core ideas and let her get used to it before you talk to her properly. A lot of times spouses freak out when their partners come out not because of the kink but because of the shock of finding out there is something they didn't know about you and that you've been hiding it from them all those years. Imagine how you would feel if your parents suddenly told you one day you were adopted and that your entire childhood was a lie-- that's kindda the same shock. They also get hurt when the partners reveal they have been keeping this side of themselves hidden because they feel that it means the spouse "coming out" doesn't trust them.

Remember my suggestions to you of how to get her to be more Dominant in the relationship? Use them. Start using them in day to day life. If you want her to be more controlling then give her the opportunity and show her how you want to be controlled. Ask her how SHE wants things done before she asks you. Make her your priority and obey everything she says to the letter. Trust me, she will notice. It will take time, but then you will notice that she starts expecting you to take her instructions or doing things her way. And if it's really not ok with her, she will sit you down and tell you about it. Then you can sit down and have a gentle talk about your humiliation and D/s interests. It is easier usually for the spouse to accept it when they realise that it's what they've been doing with you in a small way for a while anyway, and that they didn't mind it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
In fact, I'm disagreeing with several of them right now on another thread; they claim that men are not the same at 15 as they are at 50.

Where? I must see this thread.

< Message edited by Alecta -- 10/7/2012 5:12:05 PM >

(in reply to descrite)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 5:14:07 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Its right here -
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4258722/mpage_4/tm.htm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
In fact, I'm disagreeing with several of them right now on another thread; they claim that men are not the same at 15 as they are at 50.

Where? I must see this thread.

and he's nuts - there is a HUGE difference between guys that are young and guys that are older.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/7/2012 5:15:44 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 5:23:25 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

I disagree and submit my husband as a prime example hah. The only thing all those years have done is give him more bad habits and add mileage and inches to that once adonisic frame. Although I'm not sure if that means he was a mature teen or an immature adult.

(in reply to JanahX)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Telling a partner about humiliation - 10/7/2012 5:38:42 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

I was dating for a few months back earlier this year - and went on some dates with younger guys, and they were super boring, and mostly uneducated and thought they knew everything. They liked to talk about college and high school - and other women or ex's.

The older guys I dated were more grounded and didnt spew out as much nonsense as the younger guys did. They were much more in control of what they said.

The one thing that they did have in common was they were all horny as fuck - and wanted to get down right away.

I finally met someone who is fantastic (ten years older than me) - and made ME horny as fuck. BINGO ----

< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/7/2012 5:39:36 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 69