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Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:38:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There's a guy in intros who is all butthurt that his deeply specific profile post was not well received. It was explained repeatedly that women are not fitish delivery systems, and are not items to be chosen off a menu.

Whenever these gender type discussions pop up, I try flipping the genders to see if the argument works in the other direction.

So, mens: are you items on the menu? If I made a post saying that I wanted a six foot tall redhead with green eyes, Useful Bits of a certain dimension, an Edinburgh accent, and who loved being beaten with a sjambok, what would you think?





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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:44:48 PM   
smartsub10


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Status: offline 		Knowing pretty well how men think I'd say any guy who is a six-foot, green-eyed redhead with generous dangly bits with a real or faked Edinburgh accent had the hots for you, he would be pounding down your door.

Guys are like that.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:48:03 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		Edinburgh accent?!?! pffft, Glasgow miles better!

In a mildly more serious note though, there's only one woman allowed to objectify me

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:51:58 PM   
lizi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

Edinburgh accent?!?! pffft, Glasgow miles better!

In a mildly more serious note though, there's only one woman allowed to objectify me



For the sake of discussion, because I'd really like to hear more about LadyHib's question, if you were not in a relationship, what would you think about a female profile that was specifically descriptive in what she was looking for in a man as far as physical qualities and kink? In other words how would you feel at being a fetish delivery system to a stranger?

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:54:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Of course the Glasgow accent is better! I simply offered the example.

And ahhahhaaaa! At the thought of anyone pounding down MY door!

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 2:59:37 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		While I tend to believe there is no shortage of men that would favor wanton women posting their sexual desires/plans first and foremost, I think it is the civilized, courteous person, able to table their baser urges until the appropriate time and place presents itself, that would garner my favor were I a male. I consider the former, a callous, selfish, immature 2 x 4 approach which would not interest me.

But, then I'm not male, nor looking for merely a booty call. I suppose if I were like that sort, though, that might be the best approach.

Like many who responded to that OP, I much prefer a polite and proper introduction, and then inquiry into the whole person. While I consider what I find and receive between the legs to be of some importance, it in no way compares to what I need receive between the ears and in my heart.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 10/3/2012 3:03:13 PM >

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:00:04 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		Apologies I will stay on topic this time!

It would not interest me, even if it was a nigh on perfect description of myself. To me it screams that someone is focused solely on sexual gratification, which of course is an important part of any relationship. But that's the thing, part. If I was interested in "one night stand" type things then maybe yeah, I wouldn't mind. But I'm not, I much prefer someone that I'd enjoy spending time with, even if it is just the two of us hanging about in the same room doing nothing much at all

I think that answers the question...

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:01:58 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I find it funny that a lot of guys think it's okay to have an opening line asking "What are your kinks and limits?", but they get offended when asked "How much money do you make?"

They think it's acceptable to reduce a woman to a kink delivery system, but it's not okay if someone reduces them to a wallet.



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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:03:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The wallet is SACRED! It's like an external prostate or something.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:04:47 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There's a guy in intros who is all butthurt that his deeply specific profile post was not well received. It was explained repeatedly that women are not fitish delivery systems, and are not items to be chosen off a menu.

Whenever these gender type discussions pop up, I try flipping the genders to see if the argument works in the other direction.

So, mens: are you items on the menu? If I made a post saying that I wanted a six foot tall redhead with green eyes, Useful Bits of a certain dimension, an Edinburgh accent, and who loved being beaten with a sjambok, what would you think?






Is the question..."Do men mind being sexually objectified by women?" How about if the women are total strangers? How about if the women are not attractive to them?

A woman walks by a construction site and a bunch of workers wolf whistle and cat call at her and some make comments. A lot of women would be offended and don't like this kind of thing. Granted, you can throw in a lot of variables, but you get the picture.

A man walks by a group of women on a coffee break and they check him out and make comments about his body, loud enough for him to hear. Is he offended? Does he get mad at this? Is he flattered? Does it matter to him if he turns around and these are old women, or "ugly" women? I'd be curious to hear the answer.

Then change it up a bit. A man walks by a group at a table and there are catcalls and comments about his body and objectifying stares. He turns and finds out it's a table of gay men and he's straight. Is he offended or flattered?

Akasha


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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:05:33 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		Mine is so empty, it's formed a vacuum

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:08:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I wasnt even thinking about realtime, Akasha, I was just.thinking of profiles.

In realtime, of course, I would just be going from pub to pub cgatting up gingers. Dead simple, and those brunettes wouldnt know they were being offended.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:09:39 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		You know, that's me to a tee Lady H, except I would prefer that you beat me with a SlimJim.

But more seriously, I don't think it would be much of a much to males - ONLY and I say ONLY because we do not have a centuries long history of men in the primary "sexual object" role in society.

I have long held the belief that there is not one of you wimmins who cannot recall being 12 or 13 and having some guy look at you "differently" - and I have often wondered what that must feel like - especially when you are a kid. Has to be a bit creepy...scary, etc.

What I am saying is that sort of "sexual conditioning" begins early with females. So it is no surprise to me that D-Type females are quite sensitive to that sort of treatment - and thereby rejecting that sort of behavior applied to ones self can be one aspect of being a Dominant.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:09:40 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

Apologies I will stay on topic this time!

It would not interest me, even if it was a nigh on perfect description of myself. To me it screams that someone is focused solely on sexual gratification, which of course is an important part of any relationship. But that's the thing, part. If I was interested in "one night stand" type things then maybe yeah, I wouldn't mind. But I'm not, I much prefer someone that I'd enjoy spending time with, even if it is just the two of us hanging about in the same room doing nothing much at all

I think that answers the question...


Thank you. I appreciate the answer, am interested in this topic. I can't presume to know what a man would think. I can guess but I'd rather be informed.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:12:15 PM   
LordOdinn


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

Knowing pretty well how men think I'd say any guy who is a six-foot, green-eyed redhead with generous dangly bits with a real or faked Edinburgh accent had the hots for you, he would be pounding down your door.

Guys are like that.



I'm 5'2" bald, hung like a hamster, come from Abderdeen, and like being beaten with live chickens. Close enough, right?

I'm so rolling on the floor with this thread!

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:13:59 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The wallet is SACRED! It's like an external prostate or something.



Oh Gawd !! I am still laughing as I type this. It's so true through.

The double standard in action. Women on this site are objectified by many of the males, be they "dom" or "sub." But ask a man, any man, how much he makes a year? Even hint that his standard of living is an important consideration and he could turn hostile.

I've found that the hardest subject for two people to broach, beyond sexual fantasies or sexual unfulfillment, is money.







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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:14:15 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Thank you. I appreciate the answer, am interested in this topic. I can't presume to know what a man would think. I can guess but I'd rather be informed.



You're very welcome, of course I can't speak for all men either only myself but learning other viewpoints is never a bad thing

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:15:13 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

Edinburgh accent?!?! pffft, Glasgow miles better!




Jesus, would you please do me a lemon? Stop assuming that everyone using these forums is terminally stupid and/or American, PS.

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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:16:27 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordOdinn





I'm 5'2" bald, hung like a hamster, come from Abderdeen, and like being beaten with live chickens. Close enough, right?

I'm so rolling on the floor with this thread!


He's on his way up north to you, LadyHib !!


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RE: Men: people or hors d'oeuvres? - 10/3/2012 3:18:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ohhhh...he knows I don't like long hair on my men, right...

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