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Alecta -> RE: finding myself (10/8/2012 2:30:51 PM)
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I think you misunderstand about the "therapy marking you down" thing regarding a military career, but then again I'm not a recruitment officer so I am not saying this with much authority.
People have been rejected from military careers for having issues such as anger management and not taken steps to deal with them. People have also been rejected from military careers for going through therapy for issues that the military does not consider fixable. There are two core empathies at play for recruitment that's relevant, being "how stable are you?" and "how likely are you to run your mouth off".
There is also the urban myth (I cannot verify or deny) that during times of alert, the US Military prefers to recruit young people who are slightly sociopathic who have not been taught psycho-mumble about how unacceptable their behaviours are because they make more enthusiastic, trigger happy soldiers.
I know this. I knew people who have been accepted into service in Airforce and Navy "despite" having been to visit counsellors and psychiatrists. I know they have sometimes complained about fearing for a glass ceiling for officership due to those records. I knew a guy in the Rangers who was assigned mandatory therapy by the military for "anger management" (polite way of saying psychotic break), but that didn't do as much to his career as the things he did while in a manic swing. I know they prefer not to have to deal with people who need careful handling. If you don't want to seek therapy right now, fine, that's your choice and I do not fault you the slightest in being concerned that it will affect your chances of recruitment. If you get rejected for reasons unknown, it'll be because they think you're too unstable for them to deal with. If you get accepted, they will try to fix you, and they are better at it than going through a fantasy BDSM lifestyle.
I recognise your dilemma. Remember the car with the iff brakes analogy? You've got to get somewhere and you've got no choice but to take that car, but your need doesn't decrease the risk of the brakes failing. Same thing.
I still think it is a stupid naivety for you to expect the lifestyle to give you the strength, skills and tools you need to gain mastery of yourself. It doesn't work like that. But if you insist on doing things that way, I suggest you narrow your criteria to engage and learn from someone with a firm (and untarnished) military or related background and character as your guide, and also to know your limits and stay within them.
Good luck!
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