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Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 5:37:37 PM

sassy252

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/24/2011
Status: offline

My Sir is looking to add another sub to our family,a sister sub he calls her for me to have companionship. He is looking for her to be live in. He has left finding her up to me since it is very important that the two of us get along. I have sent out messages as well as talk to a few subs but no takers. He is an eye catcher 47 5'10 175 lbs dark hair and green eyes. Then you have me on the other hand i am BBW cute 48 5'7 light brown hair hazel eyes and the weight we will leave out. He like bigger women but size is not an issue with him. I need advise what am i doing wrong. I am begining to think it is my weight that is the issue here with the submissives. " HELP " what do i do

Sassy

Post #: 1

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 5:55:31 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

Read some of the threads in the Polyamorous section.
You aren't doing anything wrong, other than looking for a needle in a haystack.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 2

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 5:56:52 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Why the hell does he have you looking for her?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

My Sir is looking to add another sub to our family,a sister sub he calls her for me to have companionship. He is looking for her to be live in. He has left finding her up to me since it is very important that the two of us get along. I have sent out messages as well as talk to a few subs but no takers. He is an eye catcher 47 5'10 175 lbs dark hair and green eyes. Then you have me on the other hand i am BBW cute 48 5'7 light brown hair hazel eyes and the weight we will leave out. He like bigger women but size is not an issue with him. I need advise what am i doing wrong. I am begining to think it is my weight that is the issue here with the submissives. " HELP " what do i do

Sassy

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 3

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 5:58:44 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

.

Attachment (1)

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Nothing has changed
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Post #: 4

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 6:26:10 PM

sassy252

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/24/2011
Status: offline

Littlewonder what does your post have anything to do with what i asked.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 5

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 6:33:19 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

I dont know what hers does - but mine certainly does.
Whats up with your Dom having you looking for something that he wants?
Interesting that you would address her post and not something that might be constructive to perhaps one of the problems you might be having.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Littlewonder what does your post have anything to do with what i asked.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 6

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 6:42:07 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Littlewonder what does your post have anything to do with what i asked.

People like us refer to the type of person you seek as a "unicorn." I think it's because no one's ever actually found one.

If you didn't know, now you know.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 7

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 7:04:09 PM

BouncyBoo

Posts: 68
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

Sassy, it really isn't personal. What others were saying - there are a lot of couples that are looking for a second girl, but not a lot of women that are willing to fall in that category.

Also, it shouldn't be just you doing the searching. If it's going to be an equal relationship, yes you need to get along with another, but obviously so should he. Why isn't this something you are undertaking together?

Edit: Because I wasn't done! Crazy little computer.

< Message edited by BouncyBoo -- 10/6/2012 7:05:47 PM >

(in reply to Baroana)

Post #: 8

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 7:21:08 PM

sassy252

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/24/2011
Status: offline

Since being in the lifestyle 5 years now. It has always just been me the sub. I've never played with a women and theres never been another sub in the pic .Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him and i till last week we did play with a sub but that is not leading any where. I have never looked for a female sub are a women to be honest so all of this is very new to me. I am trying to please my Sir and do what he has asked of me. I'm not hear to be called names are to be put down but for help plain and simple and as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

(in reply to BouncyBoo)

Post #: 9

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 7:38:29 PM

BouncyBoo

Posts: 68
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

Sassy, you were not really being called any names. We are all trying to understand why you are doing this independently. We also want to make sure you know what y'all are undertaking is not an easy task.

However, you had to get a thicker skin on these boards - people be crazy. :) Here was, at most, lighthearted teasing compared to some outright shitheads on some other discussions.

You will need to clean up your grammar significantly, or people will constantly slam that. If it takes work to understand what you are trying to say, you are going to be made fun of to little end.

And I am not your sister. That's creepy. I don't want to be a sister to tons of people I have never met, many of whom I probably would not like.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 10

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 7:44:04 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

What are you doing wrong?

Well, for one thing, your profile states that you are unattached and looking for a male Dom.
Another is that it is very tough to meet women online even for us male Doms. You being a couple, it's that much harder.
Try going to local events and meeting people.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to BouncyBoo)

Post #: 11

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 7:44:38 PM

alovelylady4U

Posts: 67
Joined: 1/15/2005
From: leeli
Status: offline

Hello sassy~
i cannot speak for anyone but myself, yet at 1 time i was seeking poly. It is not as simple as a note to a sub.

i truly loved a C/couple in S CA. she and i had so many things in common. we chatted daily it seems. (an odd note. i rarely chatted with Him.)

It began as a nice friendship & when i truly began to think seriously, it seemed to crumble. i had chatted and or visited a few D/s wanting poly, so i thought i was prepared. He was in too many directions. In that i mean- He listed ISO anything that was listed on CM: men, women, trans, bi, straight, sub---- and so on. This raised a flag of a lesser concern. More of a pastel pink than red. When a sub was loaned to Him and He left her to do the cooking and cleaning while He spent time with the new girl. This caused all kinds of negative, to sum it up- it was not a good match for me.

Look deeply into yourself. Be truthful, are you really OK with a sister? Or are you just trying to please Him in hopes you can adjust later. A sister sub is like a couple having a baby. All kinds of changes and if both do not really want a baby- well it ends up a mess.

If possible- ask your Dom why He desires a second (third, forth---) sub.

Another D/s north of me in OR. He wanted it she did not. Every time He was out of eye range or earshot, she let me know she owned this Man. T/they had been together long enough that i felt it best to just move along. As much as i enjoyed serving Him- i did not feel i wanted to spend the rest of my life at odds with her.

If you truly love the idea of a sister, one to share your ups and downs, share your workload, or even cover for you when you are ill and need to stay in bed with hot soup and plenty of water.... then just be yourself. Be open, be honest. For example. i cannot tell you how many subs would write to tell me how awesome their Dom or Master was and how lucky they were. Truth up. you are both human and there will be rough spots like any other relationship. Saying it is perfect would send up a dark pink flag for me.

Go vanilla for the first few conversations. Talk about your passions. What get you excited, what drives you. Cooking, politics, dancing, art and such. Seek potential common ground that the 2 of you will share and enjoy. Later you may want to start adding what you enjoy about the lifestyle and later insights into your dom.

i know i stepped away for awhile due to some of the changes in the lifestyle. But there are some really great P/people out there. i hope you find a great sister that enhances both of Y/your lives. As for me, i must run, i have a million things to do before tomorrow. my best wishes to Y/you both- leeli

(in reply to BouncyBoo)

Post #: 12

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 8:18:08 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

I agree, you've had great advice and information on this thread so far and no insults.

I think you should get your Master to look WITH you instead of him leaving it all to you. As a woman who has been in the unicorn pool, I consider it a red flag when a submissive woman is the only one searching, unless she is the only one interested in having another female in the mix and the man is uninvolved. The best online exchanges I've had were simultaneous with both partners on separate email addresses.

You are seeking someone to be a full sister, this is different from just a play partner. Compatibility with ALL partners are important. Your Master is right to say that you need to be involved as you need to bond with her more than he does. However, most would feel it is irresponsible of him to leave you, who has no experience meeting women romantically, to do all the looking and deal with all the rejection.

The first thing you can do to greatly improve your profile is update it to be a couples profile with nice vanilla pics of yourself and Master and some detailed explanations of what kind of people the two of you are and what you're hoping the perfect person would be like as a person. This is much more attractive to a woman who wants to be in a 24/7 relationship.

The second thing to do is to start attending munches and social BDSM events in your area. There are a lot of real women into BDSM who don't actively use internet dating sites. Go meet them the old fashioned way :)

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 13

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 9:11:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Littlewonder what does your post have anything to do with what i asked.

It means that you are looking for the rare unicorn
The unicorn is a hot bi-babe just sitting and waiting for a couple to come along so she can jump into a relationship with them. Sometimes spotted with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster...and other mythical creatures.

The term "unicorn hunting" applies to couples who decide they want to try poly and figure they'll just find a girlfriend for both of them, someone who is unattached to anybody else and just looking for a couple. Such a creature is very, very rare.

Now, that said, it is not uncommon to find triads where a bi babe does get involved with a couple. Those sort of happen without the hbb actually looking for a couple, however--she meets one or the other first, usually, finds a connection there and then connects with the other half of the couple.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 14

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/6/2012 9:15:03 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

Wow...so you are the sister my mom told me about? Welcome to the family! You should go and meet mom this year at Thanksgiving. I'll bet she'll be surprised to see you.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 15

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 1:28:27 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

No. We are not sisters. Who is feeding you this silly stuff?

_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 16

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 1:38:29 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

Um, no. I am an only child.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 17

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:28:49 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Since being in the lifestyle 5 years now. It has always just been me the sub. I've never played with a women and theres never been another sub in the pic .Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him and i till last week we did play with a sub but that is not leading any where. I have never looked for a female sub are a women to be honest so all of this is very new to me. I am trying to please my Sir and do what he has asked of me. I'm not hear to be called names are to be put down but for help plain and simple and as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

Two things.....

The first one is I don't know who fed you the "all are sisters" crap but it's nonsense.

The second one is, when history repeats itself, and *you* are the one getting released in favor of the new sub that's been found, please don't start a thread crying about it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 18

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:33:35 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Since being in the lifestyle 5 years now. It has always just been me the sub. I've never played with a women and theres never been another sub in the pic .Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him and i till last week we did play with a sub but that is not leading any where. I have never looked for a female sub are a women to be honest so all of this is very new to me. I am trying to please my Sir and do what he has asked of me. I'm not hear to be called names are to be put down but for help plain and simple and as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

Two things.....

The first one is I don't know who fed you the "all are sisters" crap but it's nonsense.

The second one is, when history repeats itself, and *you* are the one getting released in favor of the new sub that's been found, please don't start a thread crying about it.

That was my thought, as well, LadyP.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:47:11 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

He has left finding her up to me since it is very important that the two of us get along. I have sent out messages as well as talk to a few subs but no takers.

If you send me a sample first message, I will be happy to critique it. Pretend we are local to each other.

Before you do, update your profile as DarkSteven and Alecta suggested.

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(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 20

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