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RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 4:11:19 AM

ladysuit

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2012
Status: offline

I've definitely been open to such things in the past, and I have to agree that being approached by just the sub, or even just the Dom, is incredibly unappealing. You're looking for someone to build a bond with both of you, so why not both approach women who appeal? Also definitely work on your grammar. There is no one that hates good grammar (as far as I know?) but plenty of people for whom poor spelling and grammar is a dealbreaker. I can't foresee a lovely, well-written and personal message ever not working in your favour.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 21

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 5:35:17 AM

pyschosubmission

Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

the Loch Ness Monster

That's what I call my penis!

...and this is the universal reaction

_____________________________

Comedian, kinkster, all round malingerer

Lord Pish of Talkingshite
First Member-At-Large, ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 22

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 6:13:19 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

PS!!

dammit, my Nessie interest is now warped beyond all recovery!!

You should be punished!

*waves hi to WW*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to pyschosubmission)

Post #: 23

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 9:10:53 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

Personally if it were me, I would not consent to looking for another so early in the relationship---8 months is not very long to even get to know one another and be comfortable enough in the relationship to consider even taking on another live in. Secondly the fact that there was an established relationship in the beginning that ended as soon as you moved in would cause me to wonder as well. What was the reason for that relationship ending and did she find you or did he find you. I would wonder why he was asking me to look solo, I would think it should be a joint effort and pardon me if I sound jaded but I would sort of speculate that he would have me look just so if things did not work as planned he could shrug it off as, "You picked her."

Good luck finding that unicorn...and good luck in the relationship period...to me it sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 24

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 11:45:52 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Since being in the lifestyle 5 years now. It has always just been me the sub. I've never played with a women and theres never been another sub in the pic .Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him and i till last week we did play with a sub but that is not leading any where. I have never looked for a female sub are a women to be honest so all of this is very new to me. I am trying to please my Sir and do what he has asked of me. I'm not hear to be called names are to be put down but for help plain and simple and as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

So you are asking a sister for help, and that help, from what I can discern, is help either being your Dominant's new sexual partner, or help in finding him that sexual partner. What does sex have to do with being a sister? Please don't take this as someone being mean on the internet because I think you may be taken for a bit of a ride here by your Dominant. It seems to be that sometimes male Dominants try to sell their women on having multiple partners around for himself by playing up the angle that she'd have someone to form an emotional attachment with, a sister.

You are asking for something that is very hard to find. There aren't going to be many women interested in being part of a couple. The live in aspect may appeal to some who need a place to live. I wouldn't say you were doing anything wrong in your search, just that it takes some people years and years to find a second woman to join the group.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 25

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 11:47:50 AM

Titaniya

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/9/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

Since being in the lifestyle 5 years now. It has always just been me the sub. I've never played with a women and theres never been another sub in the pic .Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him and i till last week we did play with a sub but that is not leading any where. I have never looked for a female sub are a women to be honest so all of this is very new to me. I am trying to please my Sir and do what he has asked of me. I'm not hear to be called names are to be put down but for help plain and simple and as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

I think part of your problem IS that you're the one looking for him.

When I read the above, it doesn't strike me as a couple looking to add a partner. It strikes me as a dominant who wants something he's too lazy to look for himself and is therefore delegating to someone enamored by him who may not want the same thing.

If you want a third party involved for your own reasons (reasons that are not "my dominant wants one and I want him to be happy," but more along the lines of "it'd get me off to see him with someone else" or "I want to play with a girl myself"), I highly suggest you change the phrasing into something that signifies that better. Say "we're" looking, not "I'm looking for him."

Otherwise, as DarkSteven said, your profile has you searching for dominant men. That's an entirely different demographic. You might want to consider changing your "Actively Seeking" field and profile text, if not opening up a new joint account entirely for both of you to look.

Another qualm I have with what I see of your efforts is that it's very general and kink/sex based, both in text and photos. You're looking for a submissive girl to be your sister and his sub... but what does that look like to you guys? When you're not in the bedroom, what kinds of things do you enjoy together? Do you do vanilla activities and build a constant relationship triangle, or are you looking for kink only? And aside from the relationship stuff entirely - who are you guys? What do you have to offer a potential submissive as partners? What do you believe in, aspire to, spend your free time doing? (Also, why aren't there any pictures of him up somewhere?)

Lastly... bisexual female submissives are highly sought, and female/male couples looking from them are aplenty. The demographic you're looking for is a small one, and you're going to have to put your absolute best foot forward (and a reasonable amount of time) to attract one, let alone find one that will get along with both you and your dominant well enough to maintain a triangle relationship over any amount of time. They're referred to as "unicorns" because they're so rare.

It's unlikely that it's your body type that's stopping you from finding what you seek. Try not to be too self-conscious about it.

I'd like to add to the dislike of the idea of universal sisterhood. I don't feel any particular connection to you, and I certainly don't feel like your sister.

< Message edited by Titaniya -- 10/7/2012 11:49:22 AM >

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 26

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 11:52:30 AM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

OP, I suggest you read this thread and talk to tsatske to learn more about the "sister sub" relationship, and read the "Polyamorous Lifestyles" archive to get a glimpse into what it's like for others to search, and when it works, and when it doesn't.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 27

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 12:12:35 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I'm not a sub, but hopefully I can help. I will write this as though I were a sub:

1. You need to fix your profile. Right now, it still says you are looking for a male Dom to serve, which implies that you are single right now. I'd wonder about that inconsistency in what you say(in your profile) and what you say(in your letter) to me.

2. You really should be with your Dom for at least a year to get settled into your own relationship w/ him before you guys start looking for another.

3. I would be suspicious of a situation where the Dom didn't want to talk to me himself and sent his other sub out looking. If he was that kind of wussy I would want nothing to do with him anyway. After all, he is the one I'd be serving and, If I can't respect him, well, there ya go.

4. When you find another, don't be surprised if you get tossed out when he gets her, just like the other girl got tossed after you arrived on the scene.

5. When/if he does toss you out just like he did her, don't come crying to us about it. History tends to repeat itself and you've already saw it happen once, so don't be surprised if it happens to you too.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 28

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 12:54:49 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

My Sir is looking to add another sub to our family,a sister sub he calls her for me to have companionship. He is looking for her to be live in. He has left finding her up to me since it is very important that the two of us get along.

Are you sure that he's not leaving it up to you because he's lazy and stupid?

I'm not intending to be mean, but why would someone respond positively to your search for a "sister"? I don't find many profiles on CM that are seeking sisters. Submissive women are typically looking for a Dom/Domme. So they're more likely to respond positively if they're actually approached by someone from the category that they're actually seeking. The fact that you say that he's "a looker" should make things even easier for him. Make sense?

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 10/7/2012 12:55:50 PM >

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 29

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 12:59:05 PM

ObeyMe35

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/23/2012
Status: offline

He's lazy but not stupid. I think LadyPact hit the nail on the head. This guy messes with one sub for a while, then when he's bored he has the sub find her own replacement. It's actually rather brilliant.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 30

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 2:59:48 PM

Secretsub5

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

First, why did he release the other sub? Second, it's much easier to start any relationship as friends first, lover's second. Third, look outside of websites; they seem like a logical place to search but I've never met anyone on any website. All of my relationships stated with an actual contact with an actual person. Go to BDSM get functions, find your local swingers club (I used to go as a single so its not unusual to meet singles who are looking for a Dom or poly home.) And ask your Dom about his past subs. Maybe one of them would like to come back. That's how our triad happened. Good luck honey. I mean that sincerly.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 31

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 2:59:48 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

OP - its a bit hard to understand your original post, but it sounds as if you aren't too crazy about the whole idea of another sub in the house. Its all very well to say you are doing what your dom wants, but if you don't want it, he needs to know that.

In fact if you don't want it, you really need to talk to him. I really doubt that you would be very happy having someone else in the house, if poly isn't your thing.

And one good reason he wants you to find her, is because you are going to have to interact with her - probably more than he does. I lived with another woman, who i had nothing in common with, and it was ... awkward, to say the least. There wasn't anything we could talk with - she was undereducated, wasn't working and didn't like any of my hobbies. The only thing we had in common was my Sir. Needless to say, it didn't work out well. It probably didn't help that women didn't do anything for me sexually, so we didn't even have that.

Think long and hard about what you really want - and can tolerate.

(in reply to ObeyMe35)

Post #: 32

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:15:08 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

as subs we are all sister and i am one sister to another asking for help.

I only have one sister (and I'm not all that fond of the one I have). You are not my sister. Whoever told you that was full of shit.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 33

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:20:27 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Then i met my now Dom ( 8 ) months ago and his sub and yes i join there family and she became my sister sub. He released her months ago and since then its just been him

So you replaced her and are now seeking your own replacement. Look at the patterns, sassy. How long was he with her before kicking her to the curb? Did he seek the new sub (you) or did she?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 34

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 3:50:46 PM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sassy252

My Sir is looking to add another sub to our family,a sister sub he calls her for me to have companionship. He is looking for her to be live in. He has left finding her up to me since it is very important that the two of us get along. I have sent out messages as well as talk to a few subs but no takers. He is an eye catcher 47 5'10 175 lbs dark hair and green eyes. Then you have me on the other hand i am BBW cute 48 5'7 light brown hair hazel eyes and the weight we will leave out. He like bigger women but size is not an issue with him. I need advise what am i doing wrong. I am begining to think it is my weight that is the issue here with the submissives. " HELP " what do i do

Sassy

It's because you are contradicting yourself. Your profile -

" " STOP "...

He is Master and i am slave

He is Owner and i am owned

He commands and i obey

He is to be pleased and i am to please.

Why is this, because

He is Master and i am slave

I am a submissive in the lifestyle that is looking to serve a local lifestyle Dom (male) straight ,no switchs or bi-males. I have been in the lifestyle for just a short time Still learning and looking to learn. I have a wonderful Domme in the lifestyle that is teaching me and helping me to grow. She is currently my mentor and friend. I have come a long way with Her help and i am very greatful to Her. I am 5'7", hazel eyes, light brown hair and a bbw. I have come to terms with who i am . A big beautiful women who is ready to serve. "

Not a word mentioned about your "Sir" or that you even HAVE one. No face photos of you, and all of your pictures are sexual in nature. Someone who's looking for a commitment isn't looking for the sexual aspect of the lifestyle. Hell, from what it seems like you don't even live with this "Sir". It shouldn't be your soul responsibility to find another sub for him. He needs to do some of the work himself.

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 35

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 5:02:30 PM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

Oh, and PS -- All female subs and slaves aren't "Sisters". Whoever told you that is an idiot and frankly, I would disown myself from being in the same family as you.

(in reply to BoundSlave4Life)

Post #: 36

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 5:26:34 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

The fact that you say that he's "a looker" should make things even easier for him. Make sense?

Somehow I seriously doubt that.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 37

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 7:21:42 PM

nvfemale

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/23/2012
Status: offline

I dunno, she could truly be my sister - my birth father was um, prolific and I've discovered I have something like 17 siblings. TRUTH.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 38

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 7:42:55 PM

BouncyBoo

Posts: 68
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

Well if you want her, I don't think anyone else is claiming sisterhood. She's all yours.

quote:

ORIGINAL: nvfemale

I dunno, she could truly be my sister - my birth father was um, prolific and I've discovered I have something like 17 siblings. TRUTH.

(in reply to nvfemale)

Post #: 39

RE: Sir is looking for another sub/ sister sub - 10/7/2012 9:18:31 PM

sassy252

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/24/2011
Status: offline

]

(in reply to sassy252)

Post #: 40

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