Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

really don't understand


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> really don't understand Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:17:05 AM   
Somuchmoreinsc


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline
i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle

i don't understand


can someone explain please
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:21:30 AM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline 		Yes, he is full of bullshit. Your limits are just that, yours...nothing right or wrong about that nor is there anything wrong with the "Dom" living in his own fantasy world. The Sims:BDSM coming out in time for Christmas...

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:24:09 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		What he really meant is that you 2 apparently aren't a good fit and he's all butthurt about it.


There are a lot of idiots out there and you just met your first one. Unfortunately, there's more where that one came from.

Take your time, get to know people and beware the "online instadom" who sends you someting like "on your knees slut, I own you now" or some similar trash. Ignore em and block em.

there's nice folks out there. Just takes a while to find them

Welcome

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:29:00 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Somuchmoreinsc,
Ignore him. There is no such thing as not being ready for this lifestyle. The person who told you that you're not ready is an idiot.

Certainly there are different levels of activity within the lifestyle. Some are what we call "edge players". They do things that are a bit more dangerous like knife play, fire play, suspension play, breath play, etc. But that doesn't make them any more legitimate or "ready for the lifestyle" than those who are only into mild spanking.

Find what you like, and then do that. Don't worry about what anyone else says.

Also, if you were talking to him on-line, try going to a local munch. I believe that meeting real people face-to-face will prove more beneficial to you that talking to random people on the internet. Just Google the words "BDSM munch Your town". Of course, you're not actually going to type "your town". Instead replace that with the name of the town that you live in. Or, if you prefer, you can go to Fetlife.com. They should have listings of groups and activities in your area.

Good luck in your search.
-Roch

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 10/14/2012 7:30:54 AM >

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:32:40 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		You've ran across another instaDom/weal and twue Dom.In other words they think every sub/slave should instantly fall to their knees,drop every bit of common sense and do every kinky thing he tells them....or the sub/slave is a mere wannabe and not worthy of the Dom's time.In my opinion,every sub/slave has the right to set limits especially in the beginning[some can argue a slave gives up most or all rights once she is owned...but that's a different topic].OP,don't worry about what some random guy on the internet says,a sub/slave has every right to choose who they serve and how they serve.If the Dom/Master is not compatable with your views,then it is time to move on and hopefully one that matches what you seek.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:40:34 AM   
Somuchmoreinsc


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline 		thank y'all i didn't believe him just didn't understand where he may have been coming from most dom/masters tell me to add more soft limits for the first few times with someone to keep me safe


but again thank y'all no i understand

(in reply to punisher440)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 7:42:35 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		If that was a random flyby message, more than likely it was intended to get you to "prove yourself," most likely via nekkid cam show or something like that. People use messages like that to bait people into doing all sorts of unreasonable things. Old fashioned peer pressure.

You describe yourself as a submissive, and you don't even state that you're looking for an M/s relationship on your profile. So who knows why he had the audacity to say "you're not ready for a Master," other than him just being an idiot. =p



_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to punisher440)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 8:14:23 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		People like to act like there are rules and regulations to this, Im not sure why. Maybe it makes them more comfortable or something, or makes them look more official. Stick to what you feel is right for you and don't let anyone talk you out of it. The most important thing is to look for someone who matches you well, don't worry about the others.

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 9:32:36 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		FR

Your hard limits are not all that unusual. I share them, along with scat, breath play, electrical play, bestiality, children, and permanent marks.

He is just being a dickblister.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 10:12:14 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc
i didn't believe him just didn't understand where he may have been coming from


Hard to say. Some possibilities:

1. He wanted you and wanted to do something that's a hard limit for you.
2. He was trying to impress you by being emphatic.
3. He was an idiot, plain and simple.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 10:38:53 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc


i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle

i don't understand


can someone explain please

Remember, lotsa folk say lotsa shit. Just cuz it's said doesn't mean it's accurate or right.
You know who and what you are. Why would you let a complete stranger (And most likely an ass at that) influence that?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 10:42:21 AM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc


i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle

i don't understand


can someone explain please



Don't spend any mental energy trying to analyze jerks or lunatics; save your energies for the positive ones that might be a good fit for you.

Also, don't forget that you have a "Block" button to avoid having to put up with him in the future.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 11:13:18 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		"You are not ready for a Dom's world"= "I want someone for diapers/fire play/ fisting/ knife play/ watersports"

and yeah, he's all whiny about it.

Not attractive qualities in a Dominant, by the way.

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 11:28:27 AM   
AlwaysAlice


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/18/2012
Status: offline 		It is unfortunate that some BDSM players think that everyone likes what they like, and, when this is not true, try to make it your problem. It is not your problem.

As someone who has been in your situation and carried on with a "dom" much longer than she should have, I can tell you that this kind of nonsense is something to be ignored--even if it hurts initially.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 11:51:22 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysAlice

It is unfortunate that some BDSM players think that everyone likes what they like, and, when this is not true, try to make it your problem. It is not your problem.


That was only your third post on these forums and it was brilliant.

She's right: He's butt hurt because you won't do something that he wants to do....and insulted you for saying that you wouldn't.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AlwaysAlice)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 11:56:36 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		How the hell would he know? As far as I can tell -douchebags arnt Masters/Doms.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/14/2012 12:11:36 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 12:07:03 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

"You are not ready for a Dom's world"= "I want someone for diapers/fire play/ fisting/ knife play/ watersports"

and yeah, he's all whiny about it.

Not attractive qualities in a Dominant, by the way.



errm...the only unnattractive quality in the above statement is the whineyness.

The rest is all about interests and negotiation.

That said...I agree with everyone else: Don't let some douchewagon try to tell you what your limits should and should not be. You are ready for whatever it is YOU feel you're ready for and it's not up to anyone else to decide if it's right or wrong. That also extends to once you do find a compatible relationship it is not up to anyone else to decide what you ad your partner should and should not enjoy/do. You run your life they way that's right for you. There are infinitely different flavors od BDSM D/s M/s etc etc and someone that is not included in your very own dynamic doesn't get to make judgements unless you invite them to. Everyone else can go suck rotten cheese.

Lucifyre
**who happens to enjoy fisting dammit**

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 12:31:13 PM   
marcellarae


Posts: 46
Joined: 8/24/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

Yes, he is full of bullshit. Your limits are just that, yours...nothing right or wrong about that nor is there anything wrong with the "Dom" living in his own fantasy world. The Sims:BDSM coming out in time for Christmas...


LMAO!
I'd buy that and start playing the game again! lol

_____________________________

cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it... sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it... sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me. ;)

(yes, I know, so original... lol)

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 12:44:03 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		There are people who go out of their way to try and belittle others.
Maybe for him that is what domination is.

It isn't.

You only have to define your limits as you wish and need to.
It is okay if you don't have them all figured out yet.

Just be very clear about what they are and if you meet someone who tries to dismiss them they are not for you.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Somuchmoreinsc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: really don't understand - 10/14/2012 1:33:07 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Somuchmoreinsc,

Forget him. He's a total asshat! What he really means when he says that is he's all butthurt because you have a limit against something he wants, so he's throwing a mini tantrum over it. Very attractive in a Dom...NOT. Rather than respecting your limits - which you have every right to have - he is trying to make you feel unworthy. Dont let him!! Hold your head up high and just keep looking. There is someone out there with limits compatible with yours, whatever they are.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> really don't understand Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109