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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/6/2013 12:14:20 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
This chap is definitely to the point:

i seek a wife

He must have sent this message to several others, as he triggered the bulk message content filter.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 501
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/6/2013 12:27:27 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
I got a mail today from someone that just said "bullshit" and nothing else. Keep in mind, I have no journals posted and my profile only says "platonic communication only".

So I sent one back saying "I have no idea what you are talking about but thanks I guess."

His response: "fuck you".
Me: "Master just did. Thanks for the suggestion though!"

Oh and then I got one a few days ago telling me to meet him at his house (in Conn. I'm in Md. lol) where I will be under the table, on my knees, serving him and his poker buddies. I thought that one was pretty good. lol


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 502
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/6/2013 8:53:13 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
I got this gem...

quote:

i would like to examine you....


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 503
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/6/2013 7:35:58 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
This guy wants to be my cuckold and adopt the kids I have with "my black lovers".

1) wat.
2) I don't want children. Ever.

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 504
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/6/2013 8:21:10 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

This guy wants to be my cuckold and adopt the kids I have with "my black lovers".



He just perved me.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 505
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/8/2013 12:40:47 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
A cmail I just recieved -


How many sexual partners have you had? I'm doing personal research. Why some people would think I'm getting off on data befuddles me, but oh well. Some call me CREEP and decline to answer, that is everybody's option I am not doing this to offend anyone and yet for some it is offensive and to them I apologize. I just wish to compare this data to the vanilla world. Some people have actually asked me to define sex. Imagine that. lol My goal is to get 500 numbered responses. So far I have 338. The range is tremendous. I'm aware that I may be lied to, but that's why I want so many responses. The greater the sample the less likely the lies will make an impact. I hope you reply with a comment and a number. Thank you, XXXXXXXXXX


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One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
Profile   Post #: 506
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/8/2013 1:18:40 PM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline
"Could you imagine british airwairs supplying your eye mask with matching nip clips, would be so radical"

Which struck me as pretty random.

It was however a reference to a pic of my lovely Wench on my profile.....but still...great openin g conversational gambit.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 507
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/8/2013 10:58:23 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thaz

"Could you imagine british airwairs supplying your eye mask with matching nip clips, would be so radical"

Which struck me as pretty random.

It was however a reference to a pic of my lovely Wench on my profile.....but still...great openin g conversational gambit.

Given your luck lately Thaz, she's probably a unicorn!

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Thaz)
Profile   Post #: 508
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/9/2013 2:15:16 AM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline
LOL. I do seem to be meeting more cute ladies this year than in most of the rest of my life. 40. Who knew?!?! (of course 1/3 hates me so far but I can live with that)

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 509
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 10:27:49 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
Mr. Persistent is back under yet another profile. It's easy to spot him because though he changes his profile name, it's always the same location, age, height, and weight.

Hi, I would love to find someone like you. Moreso come and meet you in person. So of course I live in <a distant state>, but I at a point where I am seeking the one and only. If this meant relocating to TX, then I am actually pretty ok with this. I want to be owned, trained and serve you

Like that is going to happen! Unfortunately, I have an excellent memory and he got off to such a bad start with me way back when that there is no way to recover. He had stated at that time that he abhors plus-sized women, so I don't know why he'd want to spend one second of his time with one, let alone be in a relationship with one and even relocate to another state for one. Go figure!

(in reply to Thaz)
Profile   Post #: 510
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 2:46:18 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
This is one I'd definitely steer clear of:

i take my femininity soooo serious. i do not even own boy clothes anymore.
i am a girl now !
i dont like my boy-stuff touched or looked at!
i want to be in a stereo typical domestic abusive relationship.
i am a hard worker and know my place.
i have no self esteem and like to be brain washed into the perfect little sex slave.
i need to be degraded, abused and micro managed.
In return for Your hard work Dear Sir or Ma'am., i will absolutely become a no-limits subject to your needs and desires!
i do prefer older dominants.......40 and up?


"Stereo typical domestic abusive relationship"???

He prefers his dominants the way I prefer my submissives, 40 and up, and he sure doesn't qualify! Also, being in another country, he hardly fits within the 100 miles radius from DFW airport requirements.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 511
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 2:54:36 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
I get this one every few months, worded exactly the same:

"I am in a fraternity at u of WV...one of our pledges has initiation...he has to be a slave to a woman for a weekend. Want a pledge as a slave or not really?"

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 512
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 3:01:59 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
I got that one early last week. Frankly I don't understand why anyone would be curious and I know that this sort of random poll is not valid research that might be counted in a thesis of any sort. But, as I do know how many I have had and don't care how many others know I gave him the number.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

A cmail I just recieved -


How many sexual partners have you had? I'm doing personal research. Why some people would think I'm getting off on data befuddles me, but oh well. Some call me CREEP and decline to answer, that is everybody's option I am not doing this to offend anyone and yet for some it is offensive and to them I apologize. I just wish to compare this data to the vanilla world. Some people have actually asked me to define sex. Imagine that. lol My goal is to get 500 numbered responses. So far I have 338. The range is tremendous. I'm aware that I may be lied to, but that's why I want so many responses. The greater the sample the less likely the lies will make an impact. I hope you reply with a comment and a number. Thank you, XXXXXXXXXX




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 513
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 3:32:36 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I get this one every few months, worded exactly the same:

"I am in a fraternity at u of WV...one of our pledges has initiation...he has to be a slave to a woman for a weekend. Want a pledge as a slave or not really?"


I heard about a similar e-mail circulating a few months ago, except it was for some college in Texas.

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 514
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 3:41:46 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
I've got one guy who cmails me every month or so with something along the lines of, "Are you really a man as reported???"


EVERY month I tell him yes, then he tells "I will post your response, thank you for being honest."

That's the end of it, until the next month rolls around. Odd little dude.

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 515
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/10/2013 6:01:10 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Mr. Persistent is back under yet another profile. It's easy to spot him because though he changes his profile name, it's always the same location, age, height, and weight.

Hi, I would love to find someone like you. Moreso come and meet you in person. So of course I live in <a distant state>, but I at a point where I am seeking the one and only. If this meant relocating to TX, then I am actually pretty ok with this. I want to be owned, trained and serve you

Like that is going to happen! Unfortunately, I have an excellent memory and he got off to such a bad start with me way back when that there is no way to recover. He had stated at that time that he abhors plus-sized women, so I don't know why he'd want to spend one second of his time with one, let alone be in a relationship with one and even relocate to another state for one. Go figure!


Guess I'm not so special after all, LOL. I see that he has now triggered the bulk mail filter, so he's apparently pestering other women, too. Wouldn't surprise me if they rejected him for some reason or other and he can't let up. They probably block him on sight like I do, so he has to keep creating these new profiles all the time.


< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 3/10/2013 6:02:03 PM >

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 516
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/11/2013 10:12:06 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
A lovely "Dom" took the time out of his very busy day to write to little ole me and say:

Bummer. Lawyers are leeches.

I did something for the first time ever - I sent him a reply and blocked him! What fun I've been missing, not deploying that block button sooner

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 517
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/12/2013 2:36:56 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
I got this lil gem today....

You need a diet and some exercise, you fat cow. So does your fat-ass boyfriend. Thanks for the laugh, fatsos...

And when I went to thank him for his concern for my health and well being, I was blocked.

Ah, and the photo attached to the account... a priceless piece of art work. Amazing how many people can toss around disparaging comments and never show themselves in photos.

I often wonder why people are upset by such mails. I find this hilarious. A faceless, nameless, ball-less wonder sends a message, doesnt have the balls to wait for a response, then hides like a little girl behind his mommy's apron (block).


_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 518
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/12/2013 2:52:11 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
FR

I got this gem this week.

quote:

hi u r fatty but sexy too.. .. i like slavs like u..i want to do shit on u and pee on u in toilet.. u lick my ass after shit... i use u as my bitch who eat my leftover...read my profile.


I trolled him back and it just got funnier and funnier when I became a "follish old lady".


Loser even claimed to be from the US, but either English isn't a first language or he is just a lazy cumstain.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/12/2013 2:53:01 PM >


_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 519
RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/12/2013 3:20:09 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
Omg, I just got this gem. I laughed my butt off, hope you all enjoy it. The best part is at the end after he has his cyber way with me by spoon feeding me badly spelled hypnotic words then I don't remember any of it.

Hey, I guess it didn't work did it! Lol

-------------------------------------
I'd like to give you a fun little challenge, I am a fan of erotic hypnosis and I've found that it can be an exciting way for someone to give up total control.

If you'd like to accept this challenge, just read the rest of this message very carefully and try to relax and obey. If not, then I hope you have a good day.

Yuo aer arwae of erevtynhig, and yte yuo aer nto arwae. Yuo aer lsitnenig wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, wilhe yuor cnoicouss mnid is far aawy, and nto lsitnenig. Yuor cnoicouss mnid is far aawy, and nto lsitnenig. Yuor sbucoinosucs mnid is akawe, and lsitnenig, and hreanig erevtynhig wilhe yuor cnoicouss mnid ramines vrey raelxed and paceuefl. Yuo can raelx paceefluly bceusae yuor sbucoinosucs mnid is tkanig cahgre, and wehn tihs hppanes, yuo oepn and csloe yuor eeys and let yuor sbucoinosucs do all the lsitnenig. Yuor sbucoinosucs mnid kwnos, and bceusae yuor sbucoinosucs mnid kwnos, yuor cnoicouss mnid deos nto need to kown and can saty alesep, and nto mnid wilhe yuor sbucoinosucs mnid satys wdie aawke.

Yuo hvae mcuh ptoetnail in yuor sbucoinosucs mnid wichh yuo dno’t hvae in yuor cnoicouss mnid. Yuo can rmeemebr erevytnihg taht has hpaepend wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, but yuo cnaont rmeemebr erevytnihg wtih yuor cnoicouss mnid. Yuo can froegt so esaliy, and wtih froegtting cretian tihgns yuo can rmeemebr ohetr tihgns. Rmeemebring waht yuo need to rmeemebr, and froegtting waht yuo can froegt. It deos nto mtaetr if yuo froegt, yuo need nto rmeemebr. Yuor sbucoinosucs mnid rmeemebrs erevytnihg taht yuo need to kown and yuo can let yuor sbucoinosucs mnid lsietn and rmeemebr wilhe yuor cnoicouss mnid seleps and froegts. Keep yuor eeys oepn and colesd, and lsietn wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, and wehn yor’ue lsitnenig vrey, vrey craefluly, yuor haed can now yes.

As yuo cntonuie to lsietn to me, wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, yuor cnoicouss mnid seleps depeer and deeepr, and depeer, and deeepr. Let yuor cnoicouss mnid saty dpeley alesep, and let yuor sbucoinosucs mnid lsietn to me.

Yuo hvae mcuh ptoetnail in yuor sbucoinosucs mnid wichh yuo dno’t hvae in yuor cnoicouss mnid. Yuo can rmeemebr erevytnihg taht has hpaepend wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, but yuo cnaont rmeemebr erevytnihg wtih yuor cnoicouss mnid. Yuo can froegt so esaliy, and wtih froegtting cretian tihgns yuo can rmeemebr ohetr tihgns. Rmeemebring waht yuo need to rmeemebr, and froegtting waht yuo can froegt. It deos nto mtaetr if yuo froegt, yuo need nto rmeemebr. Yuor sbucoinosucs mnid rmeemebrs erevytnihg taht yuo need to kown and yuo can let yuor sbucoinosucs mnid lsietn and rmeemebr wilhe yuor cnoicouss mnid seleps and froegts. Keep yuor eeys oepn and colesd, and lsietn wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, and wehn yor’ue lsitnenig vrey, vrey craefluly, yuor haed can now yes.

As yuo cntonuie to lsietn to me, wtih yuor sbucoinosucs mnid, yuor cnoicouss mnid seleps depeer and deeepr, and depeer, and deeepr. Let yuor cnoicouss mnid saty dpeley alesep, and let yuor sbucoinosucs mnid lsietn to me.

Trun losoe now, rlaex. Let a good, pelsanat feleing cmoe all arcsos yuor bdoy. Let ervey msclue and ervey nvere gorw so losoe and so lmip and so rlaexed. Amrs lmip now, jsut lkie a rag dlol. Taht’s good.

Now, sned a pelsanat wvae of rlaexation oevr yuor etnrie bdoy, form the top of yuor haed to the tpis of yuor teos. Jsut let ervey msclue and nvere gorw losoe and lmip and rlaexed. Yuo aer feleing mroe rlaexed wtih ecah esay berath taht yuo tkae.

Doropy, dowsry and selpey. So clam and so rlaexed. Yor’ue rlaexing mroe wtih ecah esay baet of yuor haert ... wtih ecah esay berath taht yuo tkae ... wtih ecah wrod taht yuo raed.

Trun losoe now, rlaex. Let a good, pelsanat feleing cmoe all arcsos yuor bdoy. Let ervey msclue and ervey nvere gorw so losoe and so lmip and so rlaexed. Amrs lmip now, jsut lkie a rag dlol. Taht’s good.

Now, sned a pelsanat wvae of rlaexation oevr yuor etnrie bdoy, form the top of yuor haed to the tpis of yuor teos. Just let every muscle and nerve grow loose and limp and relaxed. Yuo aer feeling more relaxed with each easy breath that yuo take.

Droopy, drowsy and sleepy. So calm and so relaxed. Yuo're relaxing more with each easy beat of yuor heart ... with each easy breath that yuo take ... with each word that yuo read.

The desire to read more and allow yourself the relaxation you need grows with each breath. The feeling of being lost in my words flows all over your body. You feel the comfort of knowing you desire this feeling in your completely. It is so simple to just let go and read. You mind only focused on the words. Simply feels good to read and become lost in the words. So much so that your mind is empty of thoughts, letting you sink deeper into the wonderful pleasure flowing easily through your mind. It is so easy to continue to sink down into the pleasure.

My words fill your mind; become your only thoughts, your only feelings. A feeling so good and wonderful fills your entire being. You crave the words that sink and flow through your mind. Wanting and needing them my words like someone becomes addicted to a drug. Finding it so easy to wanting my words again and again. Desiring more and more words to allow you to become relaxed. Finding comfort and the desire to ask for the words again and again. Desiring to go deeper and deeper with each passing word. You enjoy escaping into a nice wonderful place filled with my words. Where your stress is gone and my word controls your mind filling it with pleasure and comfort. Every pore, every muscle in your body aches to submit.

Your mind will beg to feel this pleasure more and more. My words will echo in your mind. My words will echo in your mind. You submit. You obey. You are controlled. You feel the pleasure when you submit. You feel free when you submit. When I control you, you feel pleasure like none other. When my words relax you, they control you. You submit to my words. When I control you, you feel happiness. You belong to me. When you relax you submit; you obey. My words are now deep inside your mind. You desire to submit to me, you long to submit to me. My commands and words will echo through your mind as if played in a loop. To submit is to feel pleasure. To serve master is to feel pleasure. You are my slave. I control you. You must obey to feel pleasure. You must submit to feel pleasure. You give your body to Master. You give your mind to master. To submit is to feel pleasure.

Now you are very deeply hypnotized.

As soon as you are done reading this message you will immediately reply to me with your full name and your Skype ID, if you do not have a Skype ID you will respond with another instant messenger ID that you can be reached on. You will not remember giving this reply. As soon as you press the send message button you will return to your mailbox and awaken from your trance, feeling confused and knowing that you must immediately reply to this message I have sent you to thank me.

When you begin to type your message to me, will feel a need to share the most erotic fantasies and details of your life with me. As you type this message you will become hornier and hornier yet you will not be able to touch yourself. You will not be able to get up until you have finished writing your message to me and sent it and you will not be able to touch yourself until you receive my permission.

Whenever I and only I say "Sleep Now" you will instantly and automatically return to this deep hypnotic trance.


When you awaken from your trance you will have no conscious memory of these commands, however they will affect you very strongly. You will obey all of these commands and they will bring you great pleasure.

You are now done reading this message.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 520
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