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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/10/2013 4:05:28 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

What is it that when they write makes me turn into a sadistic English teacher???

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 601

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 12:22:51 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

You say that like it's a bad thing...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 602

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 3:12:45 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Omg, I just got this gem. I laughed my butt off, hope you all enjoy it. The best part is at the end after he has his cyber way with me by spoon feeding me badly spelled hypnotic words then I don't remember any of it.

Hey, I guess it didn't work did it! Lol

-------------------------------------
I'd like to give you a fun little challenge, I am a fan of erotic hypnosis and I've found that it can be an exciting way for someone to give up total control.

If you'd like to accept this challenge, just read the rest of this message very carefully and try to relax and obey. If not, then I hope you have a good day.

************* edited for the sake of brevity ****************

You are now done reading this message.

Hate to say this, but that is word for word from a profile I read the other day lol almost wanted to message him just for some trolling fun

< Message edited by Mellissande -- 6/11/2013 3:36:38 PM >

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 603

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 4:08:46 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

FR

Paraphrasing because I deleted the messages already.

Him: why do you deny yourself happiness? You will eventually leave your husband because you are unhappy

Me: I love my husband with all of my heart and will not EVER let anything sever that love.

Him: you being so defensive just means that I am right

Me: and you thinking you'll be able to break up my marriage means you get blocked *block sender, delete messages*

Him(different profile): 2 honest messages and you block someone? That is shameful

Wow the nerve of this guy. He officially won my first blocked person and second blocked person in a matter of minutes lol

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 604

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 4:37:16 PM

TallullahHk

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

Hey Princess,.. hows your day ? am sure you are wondering why i started my message calling you Princess I believe any slave is her Master princess and should be treated as one. she should be appreciated, loved and taken care of her IF shes good and obeidence lil girl. in the other hand ..she must be trained to obey and serve properly and most importantly ...to TRUST her master that he will never hurt her. submission for me is a bond based on friendship, love and TRUST .. I like building a strong relationship first before moving on. while building this relationship this will include training for the slave in so many different aspects in the life style and relationship and what is EXPECTED from her. and during that training also Master will learn whats your limits is and interests and learn all about you and most importantly ... getting to know each other better. am almost into all everything and i totally respect interests and limits but you should also remember that you are the slave and some sacrifices will be made. I want to FULLY own you and make you my property, and as you noticed i emphasise on TRUST because eventally i want you to give me you mind, body and soul. I used to be a Personal Trainer and i can help you achieve your fitness goals too and train create you a training program to follow and it will be our own speical way in IT ) am into all kind of adventures and crazy stuff, am outgoing, and easy to talk to. good listener and gadgets makes me crazy lol if you are interested princess and wanna know more about the rules and what kind of training you will get ( Obidence, Posture, Physical, verbal...etc) and how am going to evaluate you on my points system and see if we match please message me back and see where it goes. Masterbadsgrammer

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 605

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 6:32:55 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

Masterbadsgrammer?

Seriously?

At least he got one thing right!

(in reply to TallullahHk)

Post #: 606

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 6:39:04 PM

TallullahHk

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

I made that up

Protecting the innocent, etc. etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

Masterbadsgrammer?

Seriously?

At least he got one thing right!

(in reply to Duskypearls)

Post #: 607

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 6:55:31 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

I'm beginning to think I need to start a shadow thread to this one. I think we need a creative writing effort to see if we can top some of these messages with our own creativity. I have to admit, I'm not sanguine about my own chances at that.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TallullahHk)

Post #: 608

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/11/2013 7:49:49 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
I'm beginning to think I need to start a shadow thread to this one. I think we need a creative writing effort to see if we can top some of these messages with our own creativity. I have to admit, I'm not sanguine about my own chances at that.

Okay. I had a spare moment, Jeff.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4466420/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4466420

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 609

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 12:25:10 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Just received this one from a male "dominant":

Hi How are you? I'm <an age young enough to be my son> handsome from <country removed to protect the clueless>, new here to do my master degree in Dallas, I'm looking for meet Mistress here can we please?

That will be the day!

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 610

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 3:36:42 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Mystic, I got the same message...pursing his Masters...

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 611

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 6:44:10 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Mystic, I got the same message...pursing his Masters...

The boy does get around.....

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 612

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 8:31:15 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

I get a lot of single phrases: "Very intriguing." "Nice profile." Things like that, nothing else, and often from someone with nothing on her profile either. I call them "non-messages."

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 613

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 8:39:24 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Just got one a minute ago "hi there lonely girl.. are you owned" that was it, and the guy had triggered the bulk filter before I had even read the message lol

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 614

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2013 11:45:30 PM

slavelmj

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

Short and to the point:

"Mistress would you be intrested in a slave that would die in a session for you for real?"

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 615

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/15/2013 5:18:58 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Got an interesting one on another site. From a woman (I think) in another country wanting to become a Mistress. She gushed on and one about what a wonderful Mistress I was and how she wanted to be just like me, and would I please, please take her under my wing and mentor her. Why she felt this way is beyond me, as she doesn't know me from Adam.

I was getting ready to write back to her and suggest she join some of the local groups in her area. I checked and found there were some, even a Femdom group. However, I took a look at her profile before I wrote back to her and changed my mind. The profile says she wanted to be trained to be a good whore, wants to be taught to be a good sub, is horny and in desperate need of young studs, as well as a number of graphic things she would like to experience. After reading all that, I didn't bother writing back to her.

Guess it doesn't occur to some that the people they write to will read their profile and not answer if there's a huge disconnect between the content of the message they send and the profile content.

(in reply to slavelmj)

Post #: 616

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/15/2013 5:49:46 PM

subcj44

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/8/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

A 24 year old sent me an email yesterday saying:

U likey to sucki the cocky?

That is hilarious! I had to set up my mail controls on day one!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 617

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/15/2013 6:07:29 PM

subcj44

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/8/2013
Status: offline

I get messages all the time telling me how beautiful I am. Mind you I don't have any face pics posted for personal/professional reasons. What if I only had three rotten teeth in my mouth and a huge hook nose, etc. Now there may be one person out there that could see past that, but Seriously?

One of the best messages though was a guy calling me an "ugly fake whore" because I don't post face pics. Great way to get blocked!
I even had the courtesy to write and tell him why I don't post face pics but happily share with those that capture my interest and that he would now be blocked.

(in reply to subcj44)

Post #: 618

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/16/2013 9:45:51 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcj44

One of the best messages though was a guy calling me an "ugly fake whore" because I don't post face pics. Great way to get blocked!
I even had the courtesy to write and tell him why I don't post face pics but happily share with those that capture my interest and that he would now be blocked.

I heard from a guy like that, too. I wrote back and informed him that I don't think it is wise to post facial pics, as you can be "outed" to your employer. He said something like, "Oh, sure. Like your co-workers are going to be hanging out on these sites, just waiting to report you to your employer." I told him that is exactly what happend to a friend of mine. On top of that, I let him know that his brilliant comments earned him a one-way pass to Blocked User Land, and that I hoped he enjoyed his stay. The irony of it all? He didn't have any face pics posted, either!

A different friend of mine has not lost her job, but had a very creepy experience. She's an executive recruiter. One of her clients saw her face pic on another site and wrote to her, saying, "Hello, I just viewed your pic and read your profile. Nice. I have an advantage here: I know who you are, and while you know me in real life, you don't know exactly who I am. You'll just have to wonder when you're interacting with your clients who knows your little secret. Cheers."

(in reply to subcj44)

Post #: 619

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/16/2013 3:35:18 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

I got this gem today. (I hope that the guys who complain about all the fin-Dommes here can appreciate why business is booming.) Yep, I find the message funny for several reasons. One, because of all the whiners, and two, because my profile clearly states that I'm not looking, won't cyber, and am not into tribute, and three, this is the first letter he's sent to me.

"hi mistress, i can pay via paypal or amazon giftcard. can we play online sesion ? whats your yaho mesenger name or skype name?"

Edited to add another message. I got this one yesterday:

"Miss, may I eat dogshit for you on cam?"
(How would I know it's really dog cr*p and not some homemade fudge? Puhleeze, am I gonna have to watch him follow the dog around and catch it while it's warm...lol.) Anyway, moot point, cuz I'm not into cybering nor scat.

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 6/16/2013 4:32:39 PM >

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 620

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