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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 3/28/2014 3:20:27 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I was told I'm not twue and weal as I sound too nice and have hobbies and recommend charities, weal and twue dommes and sadists don't do that...

Fuck me sideways, who's going to be the first to rip up my domme card, I dare to be a real human being...

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Those who do and those who don't!

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Post #: 1041

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/1/2014 10:27:37 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

"Well how about....as a tribute to your amazing beauty i will try and get a listing for you at www.***Modeling.biz (the approval process to get a listing on that website is a bitch). i think you would be a natural to have some pics under the: Alternative or Fetish model category and many others as well (including their vanilla categories). Obviously by having a listing on that website you should no doubt find either paid casting or modeling gigs and/or get offers from photographers to shoot you for various clients or perhaps TFP shots because they wish to expand their portfolio.
Please let me now if you are interested, i of course would also like to start getting to know you on a personal level as well."

Complete fucking idiot. Yes, that's my goal. To launch my modelling career at the tender age of 31 because that's the pinnacle of my existence.
I pretty much told him I'd rather beat myself with my own arms and if he steals my pics he will go to his grave regretting it.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 4/1/2014 10:28:33 AM >

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 1042

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/8/2014 4:48:09 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

A master willing to relocate to me, have a tpe with a BBW...

I don't think so...a green card thing I bet.

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 1043

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/12/2014 3:54:54 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

i read your profile and i need to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you here

This followed my message consisting of:

quote:

Well, I can claim some intelligence, as i did attend college, and I have been called romantic in the past (something about a dozen roses for no reason, not even guilt, and cooking a special meal for the woman.) But then I am 53, and one of my favorite movies is Casablanca, which is considered a romance (dont ask me how, Bogart doesnt get the girl.) However I am a bit eccentric, I refuse to use apostrophes in protest to the fact that I am a bit nuts. I am also 53 years old and the only opera I can handle is by Wagner. However, I am a sucker for a pretty smile and you have one of the prettiest I have seen on collarme. Jeff

The only problem, she is not showing up on my profile views.

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 1044

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/13/2014 4:07:27 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Here is a funny one I got on another site from a guy in a distant state:

Him: May I ask what size shoe you wear?

Me: 9, but what has that got to do with anything?

Him: Nice :) I have found the larger a woman's foot size, the more dominant she is

Me: Interesting theory, but I have not found that to be the case at all. One of the most deeply submissive women I know wears a size 11 shoe, and I know several very dominant woman with small feet.

Him: A size 9 foot is very nice :)

Me: Whatever. Geography will prevent us from ever meeting anyway. Have a great day.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 1045

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/14/2014 8:16:13 AM

dreamofthemoon

Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Some people have no life. (Not directed at anyone here on the boards).

I just had an offer of 300 dollars to pee in someone's mouth. (Ew! YKINMK, and all, I mean.)

Wrote back expressing my sincere apologies that I was not interested, and my complete shock

that that was the going rate these days, too, and he writes back (from another profile) a most lovely (coughnot!cough) note expressing his desire to come find me and beat me.

Message reported and deleted. Profiles marked as spam and blocked.

And all before breakfast, too.

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(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 1046

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/18/2014 10:13:24 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM:

how bad are the mosquitoes there?

hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM:

Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you!

xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800

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Post #: 1047

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/18/2014 10:26:44 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM:

how bad are the mosquitoes there?

hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM:

Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you!

xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800

Omg!! Helen. I got the same one this morning !!!!

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Post #: 1048

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/18/2014 10:31:46 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I feel so used. I thought I was the only one he sent it to!

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Post #: 1049

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/18/2014 10:33:37 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Hey!! We could all be Poly with our new"Master"!!

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Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

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Post #: 1050

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/18/2014 9:39:13 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM:

how bad are the mosquitoes there?

hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM:

Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you!

xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800

Omg!! Helen. I got the same one this morning !!!!

I got this one too. He reminds me of the guy who messaged us all last year offering us $700 to put cigarettes out all over his body :)

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(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1051

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 9:31:08 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Any more suggestions for torture? Anthills, flesh-eating rats......?

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 4/19/2014 9:32:28 AM >

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Post #: 1052

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 10:16:37 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

My niece? She can torture like a pro...

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 1053

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 12:49:32 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He can pull out the poison ivy and poison oak in a short sleeved shirt without gloves.
And chop down the rosa multiflora. Not only does it have nasty thorns that catch in your clothing but it has long lasting berries. As a result The Man saw a bear track fifty feet from the house the other day. I disapprove of bears.

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Post #: 1054

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 2:17:34 PM

LadyRedRoseToo

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline

my original suggestion was to tie him back against a tree buck nekkid and squish wasps all over him. I've been told the wasp will sting people who have squished wasp pheromones on their person.

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Post #: 1055

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 4:10:55 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM:

how bad are the mosquitoes there?

hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM:

Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you!

xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800

He wouldn't want to do that around here in West Nile virus territory. I had a notice on my door last year that mosquitos in the area had tested positive for the virus. I met a woman who had contracted the disease, spent several weeks in the hospital, and barely escaped with her life.

I doubt this is the kind of "fun" he had in mind.

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 1056

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/19/2014 8:11:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We have west nile around here too. Oddly enough, people seem to be less likely to contract it than horses.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 1057

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/22/2014 9:34:28 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Got this one-liner gem from a local putz on another site this morning:

"Your hand in my ass"

Out of curiousity, I clicked on his profile. A married jerk available only from noon to 3 PM weekdays, LOL. He's also attracted only to skinny people, which I'm not and my profile clearly says as much.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 1058

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/22/2014 11:34:56 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

apparently, I am not a human because of my response of "seriously?" to a one liner of hello baby girl. *shrug*

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(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 1059

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/22/2014 11:48:19 AM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

Yuck. Not a message but a guy on my "who's viewing you" page whose profile avatar is a drawing of a naked woman with her arms and legs amputated. Boxing Helena, anyone?

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Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

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Post #: 1060

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