RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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MetteMusen -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/5/2015 10:53:52 AM)

Hi - I'm 25 .. so you are a little, do you wear diapers? .. how do you suggest we get to know each other?




MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/6/2015 4:49:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

give his number to everest, itt tech, sanford brown, kaplan university, you know... all those annoying tech schools that call 800 times a day for months before accepting you arent interested in any of their programs. his phone will never stop ringing.


Great idea! I could set up a phony email account, fill out the online form indicating interest including the phone number, then delete the email account. He included his first name on his profile, so I could include that as well and they'd know exactly who to ask for.

If they tried emailing, it would bounce, but they'd have the name and phone number and would undoubtedly use it!


His phone number is now in the hands of ITT Tech and Kaplan, so he should be getting lots of calls. He's also so dumb he posted his phone number in a public forum on a different BDSM site, so hopefully he's getting some calls from that, too.





Kittenluv954 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/6/2015 5:38:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

give his number to everest, itt tech, sanford brown, kaplan university, you know... all those annoying tech schools that call 800 times a day for months before accepting you arent interested in any of their programs. his phone will never stop ringing.


Great idea! I could set up a phony email account, fill out the online form indicating interest including the phone number, then delete the email account. He included his first name on his profile, so I could include that as well and they'd know exactly who to ask for.

If they tried emailing, it would bounce, but they'd have the name and phone number and would undoubtedly use it!


His phone number is now in the hands of ITT Tech and Kaplan, so he should be getting lots of calls. He's also so dumb he posted his phone number in a public forum on a different BDSM site, so hopefully he's getting some calls from that, too.




aaaand off to the gay bar "send pics here"...




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/7/2015 5:17:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I know the women here get all sorts of funny messages from guys on the dating side of CM. "Funny" encompasses a wide spectrum.
I don't know if men have the same experience.
What I do know is I'd love to read some of your favorite messages, be they WTF, or funny, or bizarro, whatever. Anyone who'd like to share?
I got this one last night (I'm 53) copied below in its entirety exactly as received:

hello good age


Yes...us men get them as well....far less often.

The ones' that always make me laugh are some chic who emails me twice....my only interactions have been "hello" some small talk and then in the second, responding to some more definitive questions....and they tell me to address them as "Ma'am" or "Mistress/Goddess" whatever....to which my typical response is..."who the fuck do you think you are that I'b be so susceptible to a nice set of tits and ass that I'd fall under your thumb, having never met you once....ever....and likely never will because you're clearly a maroooooon!"




searching4mysir -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/7/2015 7:40:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz


Just got this from a local male dom who is totally unknown to me as a first message:
cluelessmaledom:
555-555-5555 (real phone number hidden to protect the idiotic) "I'll fuck you honey"

Blocked him, but have half a mind to go write the number on some bathroom walls.



Sign him up for online learning, quotes for insurance, etc.




Kittenluv954 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/9/2015 6:44:01 PM)

from zero to butthurt in .0001 seconds. this is why women don't bother to reply to people we aren't interested in, just one example of a bajillion. enjoy!

DELETED UNREAD. (im so hurt. really, I am. /yawn.)

Kittenluv954 on 3/9/15 at 9:23 PM:


I'm not here to validate my preferences.






LOLI'm24 on 3/9/15 at 9:10 PM:

There is nothing valid about discriminating based on age.





Kittenluv954 on 3/9/15 at 9:09 PM:

true, but it's still a valid preference





LOLI'm24 on 3/9/15 at 9:07 PM:

That's disappointing. A man does not have to be older to provide the maturity and stability you desire.





Kittenluv954 on 3/9/15 at 9:06 PM:

I like older men actually lol





LOLI'm24 on 3/9/15 at 9:04 PM:

The age difference is something I could handle. Could you?





Kittenluv954 on 3/9/15 at 9:03 PM:

thank you, and perhaps it is, but it was nice of you to message anyway :) best luck- k





LOLI'm24 on 3/9/15 at 9:00 PM:

You are a very beautiful woman. It is unfortunate that there is so much difference in our ages.




GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 6:46:38 AM)

LOL! All from the same guy. Block him you say? And miss out on all of this? [:D]

on 3/8/15 at 4:54 PM:
I'm in love with YOU
on 1/20/15 at 12:42 AM:
did You see "Selma" yet? Excellent, put tears in my eyes...joe
on 1/18/15 at 8:45 PM:

The Leeches

Have you seen the leeches of society?
Have you seen them crawling like snakes?
Sucking off the life of everyone
Have you seen them with their lawyers?
Working the law so the rich get richer
Talking of freedom and rights
Have you seen them working global markets?
Polluting the rivers and the lands
Using genetic engineering for more gain
Owning sold out scientist
Buying PHD’S and technology
Owning the means of production
Owning and buying the media
Owning the courts
Pouring money into every election
Masters of propaganda
Creating wars for their interests
Using the whole world as a game
They love power and control
Indigenous people killed, in cages
In reservations
The roll of progress
Imperialism, manifest destiny
People of color trampled
Have you seen their Atlas Shrugged grins

Blessed are you who are poor yours is the kingdom
The trampled on migrant worker
The poor lonely immigrant who is distained
The worker in a slave shop
The worker without a pension
The women who can’t afford a papmere test
The cancers
The hungry children
The alcoholic families full of shame
The laid off and unemployed
Those that work 12-hour days without healthcare
Looking at his disciples, he said
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of
Righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied

The hour is late
The leeches are very wicked
They come with the power of modern technology
They want your mind
They want your vote
Resist them until they are judged
For they will throw their gold into the streets
Your task master puppets shall fall
Your national guards who enslave shall fall
Your greed and avarice shall crumble
His heel was bruised but your head is crushed

The Leeches live in gated communities
They suck the life out of the working class
They buy lobbyist to support their oppression
They ship jobs overseas for more profit
Chickens bloated with hormones
Their legs broken from too quick of growth
Cattle tortured for quick meat
Animals should graze
Pigs are smarter than dogs
Cruelty beyond comprehension
All for money and more money
Rivers polluted
Lakes with mercury
Industry and watersheds ruined

They try to bust unions
They hate and fear organized labor
They despise the poor
They think they are so special and smart
They are elitist
They live off the hard work of others
They hate fair wages
They hate benefits
They support sweatshop labor
They use religion to win support
They hate fair distribution of power and wealth
They fear your vote
They blame the victim
They send their offspring to the best of schools
They will fight low college tuitions for average people
They love to own politicians
They work against healthcare
They love tax shelters
They want their interests protected
See them fly around in their jets
They call the poor leeches
They laugh at the people in the unemployed lines
They think they are self-made men
They are the dregs and leeches of the blood of the world
See them create so much pain and sorrow

Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields,
Which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you,
And the cries of the harvesters
Have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts.

Woe unto the Leeches
Joseph - RECENT POEN AND PHOTO-joe

on 1/2/15 at 4:30 AM:

Escaped the Damned

Her gothic shadow cries like a wound
Breach where the light burns
Honesty beveled into the garden
Moonlight croons in the castle window
Silence in her warm soul
Necklace of silver acorns

I have found her candle
Blue wax cudgels the maroon night
Hunters of souls by the iron gate
Green angels aware of darkness
I cannot sleep until dawn
Their cold eyes shiver in the wind

We have escaped the damned
Joseph - recent poem of mine

on 1/2/15 at 4:17 AM:
have you found yourself yet?

on 1/2/15 at 4:10 AM:

I am really looking for a good woman who will support me and
let me move in with her. I don't have a job but I am looking.
I don't have a car but I finally got my license back.
I do like to drink and will admit I have a taste for drugs.
I won't try to change you if you don't try to change me.
I am a dam good lover and I really like to let go
and have a good laugh. I have been married seven times
but hey I never said I was perfect. As far as negetive things about me
I really like to sleep late and I am not a fix up everything kind of guy.
I am laid back and mellow and know how to throw a great party.
I suppose my pet peeve is someone who tells me not to smoke
in the house, dam that gets me!! I am on this site looking for true love
I got a photo but I was pretty drunk and stoned that day.
My hair was messed up but you can tell it's me.
I am a democrat because some of them at least want pot legalized
Please contact me if your interested and if you want I can call you collect.
I really want a good woman to do a moon dance with. If you can't wait
then send me a bus ticket. This is your big chance!
joe

on 1/2/15 at 3:59 AM:
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single.

Just let it go..."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:


Dave.............



Dave.. ...............



Dave.....................



...........You're a veterinarian".

on 1/2/15 at 3:49 AM:
Happy New Year! I'll wait for You and if I should fall behind please wait for me? did you go to your sexaholic meeting tonight? Keep it up and maybe you'll make squad leader! You gotta have goals. humbly joe

on 12/17/14 at 8:44 PM:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied. 'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied, 'now just rest and let the poison work.'




Lucylastic -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 6:51:26 AM)

whoa




Kittenluv954 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 8:26:00 AM)

wow manko lmao. yours totally beats mine. ROFL.




GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 12:46:18 PM)

lmao Kitten, I think in his case it might have been too much partying during the 70's. Many people went there but I think in his case he never came back. I'm almost jealous, his mind seems like a fun place to be, haha!!




Wayward5oul -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 6:59:29 PM)

One of my all time top 3, original capitalization and punctuation (or lack thereof)...

I start a new job in bham monday would you like a roommate or live in dom




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 7:11:21 PM)

Should have sent him to the nearest cop shop. 3 hots & a cot! [:D]




Wayward5oul -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 7:17:05 PM)

I don't know, I'm kinda worried I might have passed up a real opportunity here.




GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 7:32:03 PM)

LOL Wayward, I felt the same way about good ole joe. That guy's a rockstar in my mind. One thing I know is he is very secure with himself which is so, so lovely, lmao! No need for validation thar!




MissToYouRedux -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/10/2015 8:07:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

LOL Wayward, I felt the same way about good ole joe.



And there I was thinking I was so special with his poetry. [:D]




NookieNotes -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/11/2015 3:33:49 AM)

ID10T from "other side":
I love your tumblr

Me:
Thank you! *smiles* Pet and I work hard on that.

ID10T from "other side":
I showed it to my wife and she freaked....lol

Me:
Oh? Why is that?

ID10T from "other side":
she thinks I want her to do it (I do)

Me:
Dominance? Cuckolding? Or...?

ID10T from "other side":
cuckolding....I even have a guy for her

Me:
That's not how cuckolding works, in my view. That's simply wanting to see you wife with another man, and is taking her rights and powers as a woman away, instead of building them up. So, I wish you the best of luck with that, and hope you don't damage her or your relationship.




Wayward5oul -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/11/2015 10:06:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

LOL Wayward, I felt the same way about good ole joe. That guy's a rockstar in my mind. One thing I know is he is very secure with himself which is so, so lovely, lmao! No need for validation thar!


What I find particularly sad about this one, is that I think he was serious. Looking at his profile and journals, I believe he was sincere, not one of those flakes that would have run like hell if someone took them up on their offer or agreed to meet their outlandish demands. It boggles my mind that there are people who actually think it works this way.

I couldn't even bring myself to answer back with my customary snark that I reserve for domasses. It just felt sad.




Wayward5oul -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/11/2015 5:17:12 PM)

And today's winner

message #1
hey i got to really read your ad WOW OPS OH YES YOUR A BIG ARMY STRONG HERE I COME .... SEE IM RETIRING 25 YEARS ARMY BULL DOG PAIN IN THE ASS ARMY SARGENT AKA SGT PAIN IN THE ASS .BIG BOTHER TO SISTERS TO SOME . WOULD SAY WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP WE WE TRIED TO ( KILL ) EACHOTHER WE MESSED THAT UP.........WE ALL GREW UP SOME HOW EVEN MOTHER TIEING THE CHRISTMAS TREE TO THE TOP OF THE CELLING YELP LIVE IN A HOUSE 6 KIDS 2 CATS 2 CRAZY PARENTS AND YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND ADD A CUZZ COME OVER TO SPEND THE WEEKEND ( THE FUNNY FARM ) COULD TAKE POINTERS............... MY EMAIL (his email and phone number) and IVE GOT WHATS APP THE HOLE SHTING MATCH BUT WE;ER LOOKING IN THE RIGHT WAY ABOUT THINGS .I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU HEY ARE YOU THAT CRAZY CAUSE ME I FOR REAL ( LOVE IT) ON ARMY BULL THAT TO ME IS LIKE CAT NIP

Then an hour later
HEY ITS (nic) I GOT A WILD QUESTION HOW IN THE HELL DOES THE IM CRAMP WORK I TRIED IT THE DOG GIZMO AND THE LAPTOP AR ABOUT TO START WW ( 3 ) IN ABOUT 3 MINS CAUSE IT WILL TAKE THAT LONG TO BOUNCE THIS THING OFF THE WALL TAKE IT TO THE POOL AND DEEP 6 IT




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/11/2015 6:21:49 PM)

O WoW, I'd tell him to stop yelling (because of course I couldn't resist replying), then ask him to repeat that again in English that I can understand. I'd also be inquiring if he went off his meds, because that's really really not a good idea. Unless he's coming down from a trippy dippy, then the nearest ER might be a good idea.

Then I'd watch for the reply where he'd sure as shit go on a worse rampage. A few more msgs to drive him battier, then the standard buh bye & block him.




MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/11/2015 7:40:05 PM)

Just got this from a 36-year old male:

"i am looking for mommy , have you seen my mommy ?"

There are any number of things I could tell him about where I last saw his mommy, LOL.




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