Negative Experiences? (Full Version)

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ShadesOfTeal -> Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:01:34 PM)

Is there a place, either on these boards or elsewhere, to post negative experiences/warnings to protect other members of the community from phonies/liars/abusers, etc?




stef -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:11:19 PM)

This'll end well.




lizi -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:11:22 PM)

No, there isn't a place to blacklist other members. You may feel justified in doing that to someone, but there is only your side of the story and it's not allowed. Btw, your journal entry blacklisting another member of this site is against the TOS that you agreed to when you made a profile here. Here, read this, Why We Don't Allow Blacklists.




poise -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:14:34 PM)

This site does not condone blacklisting, regardless of whether or not your intentions are good.
Here is a link to part of the guidelines here which may give you an idea as to why this is so.
There are some sites you can find that cater to what you are trying to do. Google might help link you there.

I should also point out that your journal is in violation of the Terms of Service here, and should
be removed lest your membership options change.

Edited to add a ^5 to lizi. Great minds and all that. [:D]




Oneechan -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:27:52 PM)

no stop whining.




ksw1958 -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:28:41 PM)

No, it isn't a very nice position to be in. Especially when one has made friends here, and then You get black listed. Get a hundred emails..........telling You You have been black listed. It's daunting to say the least. And yes, there are two sides to the story. It is a free site. IF You don't like what You find, then leave it a lone. It is not for You. It seems like silly high school drama!! From a Grown Man........who claims to have control of His life!!




Oneechan -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:32:58 PM)

also wow, i just looked at your journal.

there are seven billion people on this planet, and rising fast. the proportion of those who are likely to read your journal, and the proportion of those who are likely to interact with the person you mention in it, are both astronomically small. the proportion of people who will do BOTH of those things is really really really double astronomically small.

you are pissing into a black hole in the middle of nowhere, for no reason. doing something that will have no effect on anyone, anywhere, ever, and getting pointlessly worked up about it.

some people are dicks. learn to recognise and identify them, to only associate with worthwhile folks, and move on.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:43:19 PM)

Read this: Why We Don't Allow Blacklists




kalikshama -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:47:17 PM)

This thought flitted across my mind after my one and only bad experience with someone I met here on CM. Then I realized that it was my own damn fault for not using common sense and ignoring red flags. So now, when the occasion presents itself, I remind others to use common sense and pay attention to their gut.




OsideGirl -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:48:09 PM)

Yup, pretty much everyone would be on that list....since somewhere there is someone that thinks every single one of us is fake.




stellauk -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 12:54:17 PM)

Not really, because most people have a sense of responsibility and enough common sense to learn from mistakes and put it down to experience.

But if life is still pretty much the school playground for you then I dunno, maybe you could start a blog or something?




ShadesOfTeal -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:07:10 PM)

Fine, took the journal down. And I never said blacklist, I said post. Since I had seen it on other women's profiles, and have better things to do than read the TOS of every single site I join, mea culpa. But, WOW. Real easy to sit behind your screens and type that venom against someone you don't even know. I guarantee you wouldn't be so rude to me if you met me and I had told you the story in person. So valet park that high horse and excuse me for trying to help a sista' out! Did I screw up? Yes. By having the least little faith that I would get an answer to my question, not criticism. Ya know what? I DID move on, and it's NOT High School bullshit. Red flags aren't always red... Fool me once. Got it.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:08:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Oneechan

also wow, i just looked at your journal.

there are seven billion people on this planet, and rising fast. the proportion of those who are likely to read your journal, and the proportion of those who are likely to interact with the person you mention in it, are both astronomically small. the proportion of people who will do BOTH of those things is really really really double astronomically small.

you are pissing into a black hole in the middle of nowhere, for no reason. doing something that will have no effect on anyone, anywhere, ever, and getting pointlessly worked up about it.

some people are dicks. learn to recognise and identify them, to only associate with worthwhile folks, and move on.


Exactly this.

Also: Stop and think this through. Imagine you turn a guy down or whatever. He gets pissed off. He posts that you are a fake/liar/con artist. He posts your full real name and identifying features, just like you have done in your journal. How do you feel?




littlewonder -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:10:44 PM)

Quit butting into everyone else's business. You just look like a noseybody and stupid.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:13:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadesOfTeal

Fine, took the journal down. And I never said blacklist, I said post. Since I had seen it on other women's profiles, and have better things to do than read the TOS of every single site I join, mea culpa. But, WOW. Real easy to sit behind your screens and type that venom against someone you don't even know. I guarantee you wouldn't be so rude to me if you met me and I had told you the story in person. So valet park that high horse and excuse me for trying to help a sista' out! Did I screw up? Yes. By having the least little faith that I would get an answer to my question, not criticism. Ya know what? I DID move on, and it's NOT High School bullshit. Red flags aren't always red... Fool me once. Got it.


Wow, ok, we posted at the same time so I didn't get chance to respond to this.

Chill out!

So you didn't read the terms of service. Too bad! That's your responsibility and your risk to take. Not knowing the rules when they are right there - when you have to acknowledge them to sign up - is not an excuse. I know lots of people just skip over those things, but when you do and you get called out on it, don't get pissy.

You got criticism because you didn't really think things through. Your story might well be shocking to all of us but we don't know you or him, this is the big bad internet and we can only go off what we have in front of us.

And yes, what you are suggesting is blacklisting. It's also suggested fairly regularly round here, hence there being an FAQ post on it.




myotherself -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:21:41 PM)

You know what? I work in a high school. I hear this BS EVERY DAY.

"it wasn't my fault, the others were doing it too"

"why are you picking on me? It's not my fault I didn't read the rules properly"

"you are sooo mean - it's not fair!"

"BOOHOOHOOO I HATE YOU I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOTHER!"

Seriously 'sista', you need to get out of the playground, get back on your horse and canter back to Grownupsville.

Oh, and I absolutely would say all this to your face.

Sista. [:'(]




poise -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:22:20 PM)

You asked the question, We gave you not only the answers, but some logic behind the
answers. That you feel so defensive over being given the answer to your question is rather silly.

Another neat feature this site has is that anyone viewing your profile has the option
of clicking on View This Users Forum Posts. I can't imagine this attitude being favorable.




LaTigresse -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:29:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadesOfTeal

Fine, took the journal down. And I never said blacklist, I said post. Since I had seen it on other women's profiles, and have better things to do than read the TOS of every single site I join, mea culpa. But, WOW. Real easy to sit behind your screens and type that venom against someone you don't even know. I guarantee you wouldn't be so rude to me if you met me and I had told you the story in person. So valet park that high horse and excuse me for trying to help a sista' out! Did I screw up? Yes. By having the least little faith that I would get an answer to my question, not criticism. Ya know what? I DID move on, and it's NOT High School bullshit. Red flags aren't always red... Fool me once. Got it.



It's okay princess.......you asked a question and didn't get the sugarcoated, sweetness and light, response you hoped for. Grow a set of ovaries. You will need them if you are going to stick around here. Otherwise, do yourself a favour, delete your account, and forget allllll about collarme.com as well as collarchat.com

Good luck with your.....whatever.




Hillwilliam -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:33:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadesOfTeal

Fine, took the journal down. And I never said blacklist, I said post. Since I had seen it on other women's profiles, and have better things to do than read the TOS of every single site I join, mea culpa. But, WOW. Real easy to sit behind your screens and type that venom against someone you don't even know. I guarantee you wouldn't be so rude to me if you met me and I had told you the story in person. So valet park that high horse and excuse me for trying to help a sista' out! Did I screw up? Yes. By having the least little faith that I would get an answer to my question, not criticism. Ya know what? I DID move on, and it's NOT High School bullshit. Red flags aren't always red... Fool me once. Got it.

Whether you call it a blacklist or not has nothing to do with whether or not it is one. (it was)
As for whether or not you read the TOS, it really doesn't matter, you are still responsible for it. Would a cop let me go if I said "I didn't see that speed limit sign"?

As for venom? Princess, you've never seen venom. This was people being nice because you're new.




littlewonder -> RE: Negative Experiences? (10/18/2012 1:34:16 PM)

Ya know, I'll be honest. I never ever read the TOS for this site. I have always just used common sense and I've been online for sooooo long that it's basically the same blah blah blah for other sites.

I have never gone around wanting to gossip about others be it here or in real life. I don't involve myself in others' business. I have my own business to take care of. I really don't care what others do with their life.

To me when someone comes here and starts whining about pretty much anything at all, is simply childish and makes me wonder if you walk around in life making sure everyone feels sorry for you and that "everyone is picking on me" attitude. If you do, you might wanna think about learning to be an adult. You are no longer a child. Take responsibility;y for you own life, not everyone else's.




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