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RE: Goals... - 10/22/2012 4:02:25 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Chortles, a good dom-he always holds her feet to the fire.
Cuz it's for her own good, right? Right?

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to lamb)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 1:34:38 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Ok, I think my feet are burned.


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 5:41:28 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Chortles, a good dom-he always holds her feet to the fire.


"Holding feet to the fire" is supposed to be metaphorical, not an invitation to get out the blow torch

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(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 11:49:01 AM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline 		For myself, when in a relationship, I often lose site of my goals and push taking care of their goals if that makes any sense. I am working on being true to me and achieving my own goals so that i can be stronger inside of a relationship if that makes any sense.

(in reply to metamorfosis)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 2:41:27 PM   
ivone1


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		my goal... is like Masters... just to get a lady that needs help back on her feet so that she can have her own apt. and become whole once again.... she has had a string of bad luck but hopefully its over with and she moves forward ..... i also have a goal of trying to be the best slave i can be to Master.. i know its not easy... and im not easy to deal with as i have my own issues but im trying.....

(in reply to autumnember)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 2:52:28 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis
I'm in the process of setting some goals for myself. A lot of them have to do with accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative of who I am. I was wondering... do others have similar goals? I'm especially curious about people with submissive or dominant personalities. Which of your own traits do you like? Which are you trying to change? Do couples learn from one another? Is there a goal "self" that you're striving towards?

ETA: How much say do dominants have over submissive's goals? Do submissives have any say over dominant's goals?

Man, this question strikes me as weird on so many levels but I'll give it a go.

For starters, my general experience tells me that people's greatest strengths are often-times also their greatest liabilities and the difference largely comes down to context. So I am very careful about personality pruning... mine or anyone else's. There are a bunch of things in Carol which are negatives sometimes and other times positives. There are also a few things in Carol that I do dare to mess with. In her case the largest one is "being willing to take up some space in the world".

Yes, Carol and I could both be better people. Yes, we both try to help the other with that. Obviously, given my position in the relationship I can "help" more forcefully than her but still, it comes down to the same thing. Both of us are driven to try to be better because we both believe our partner deserves it.

Insofar as "goals", both Carol and I have them. But generally, like most things, her goals and my goals get coalesced into "our goals" before being acted upon and it's me who does the sum on that.


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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 3:09:10 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Chortles, a good dom-he always holds her feet to the fire.


"Holding feet to the fire" is supposed to be metaphorical, not an invitation to get out the blow torch

Now ya tell me.
How come I always learn these things too late (For her that is)? :-)

Ceeerrrriiiipes. My slave came with an Allan wrench and instructions in Finnish. Guess that's what I get for buying her at Ikea

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 5:56:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Mutta olet menettänyt jakoavain!

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 6:34:09 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		"Gideon keksiä katseensa lattiaan
Mainittu et ole saanut sarana, et voi sulkea ovea.
Mooses nousi yli hänen kuusi jalka ja kymmenen
Sanoi et voi sulkea oven seinät taipunut sisään

Kysy häneltä vettä, hän kaatoi minulle viiniä
Lopetimme pullon ja murtautuivat minun.
Saat mitä tullut, ya valmiina
No, sen yksi kymmenestuhannesosan että tulevat show.

Abraham ja Iisak Diggin on hyvin
Mama tuli nopeasti vedellä noita loitsu
No viileässä puhdasvetinen et voi koskaan kertoa.

Abraham ja Iisak istuu aidan
Youd saada oikeus työhön, jos sinulla olisi mitään järkeä
Tiedät yksi asia meidän on vasemmanpuoleinen jakoavain."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 6:40:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		hahaha....no fair turning the tables.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 7:13:57 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		"Can't close the door when the wall's caved in!"

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 9:40:33 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Goals, to me, is a destination. When we reach that destination, then what? It's an ongoing process for most all humans. I had a boss long ago that intimidated the hell out of me. Every time i had a meeting with him, i just cringed. But i did the duck on water thing. On top, everything looked smooth and composed but underneath i was paddling my ass off. It's still an ongoing process because some people do intimidate me.

We cannot be perfect, we can only strive for progress. But those goals will be met, some are ongoing and more goals will come until we die. It's never ending. And I never compare my insides with someone elses outside. Complete waste of time. My foundation is me.

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I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 9:54:10 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Goals, to me, is a destination. When we reach that destination, then what? It's an ongoing process for most all humans. I had a boss long ago that intimidated the hell out of me. Every time i had a meeting with him, i just cringed. But i did the duck on water thing. On top, everything looked smooth and composed but underneath i was paddling my ass off. It's still an ongoing process because some people do intimidate me.

We cannot be perfect, we can only strive for progress. But those goals will be met, some are ongoing and more goals will come until we die. It's never ending. And I never compare my insides with someone elses outside. Complete waste of time. My foundation is me.


Well said, annie! How true it is, and how often we fail ourselves, when we mistakenly compare our insides with other's outsides. It is a malady not unfamiliar to me, so I really appreciate the reminder. Thanks muchly!

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Goals... - 10/23/2012 9:55:11 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

"Can't close the door when the wall's caved in!"


But ya can before the horse get's out, Kana!

Oh Kana, you are such a cutie patootie. How I enjoy you!

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Goals... - 10/27/2012 11:07:34 AM   
lamb


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline 		Goals comment 2

is interesting, when i visited Mistress, she gave me goals, all having to do with changing my life.  simple things like taking care of myself, not working the long hours i have always worked, we agreed on a different item for each day, they are all intwined deep in my soul and require overcoming blocks in my life to believing in myself more and taking care of myself.  as i think of and approach each item, i more and more understand how much she cares about me (that is my biggest button of all).  each day i grow alittle.  i don't think i can reach the ultimate level of these items, they are all steps, each day steps forward. (pardon me, i am getting all faklempt here).  Wonders how others who are growing with the gentle pressure of their Master's or Mistress' feel

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Goals... - 10/27/2012 12:16:25 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Master knows my goals. He also sets goals for me. In both scenarios he "holds my feet to the fire" as he stated above. He does it because he want the best for me which in the end means I'm happy and it's the best for him. As he has said before "a happy slave makes for a happy dom". I like that he does what he does because I actually accomplish things. I become a better person. Without his perseverance I would never get anything done due to fear.

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Profile   Post #: 56
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