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RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 12:24:24 AM   
domoarigato042


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/3/2012
Status: offline 		Yea, as it has been said before your priorities are pretty messed up. The sorts of people who are on the forums are not looking for a quicky lay. I would take the suggestion of others and go look on a hookup site. Trying to build a relationship off of sex is just lazy and disrespectful.

I suggest you be honest with yourself with what your wanting to get out of a relationship. To me it sounds like you want a fuck buddy first, actual relationship second.

Anyway that is my two cents.

(in reply to Alice0in0Wonder)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 1:50:56 AM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps you are having difficulty because appropriate capitalization and punctuation are such major turn on's. Thankfully these are skills that can be learned!

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 3:06:24 AM   
JanieLouise


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

onlyifyouwanna

I'm with you on this, to a degree.
Why spend 6 months just to find you're not compatible.
I'm a great believer in "Try before you buy".
Though I've been with my man for 4 years and it was three months before we got jiggy.

Other partners started as one night stands and went on to form relationships.
Some just stayed as one night stands.
All of these engagements started with a lot more than a whiny "I wanna shag and see where it goes"
There was a connection of some sort.  Maybe a mutual  "Lets fuck"
but there was 'something' where we both sold the idea of sex to each other.
You profile TOTALLY FAILS TO DO THIS.

onlyifyouwanna, if you want to maybe hook up in a casual way,
try going to a fetish club, get to be a regular, socialise and see if you meet anyone.
(Though most women are part of a couple and there are 100+  single men for everty single woman;
sir, you need to stand out, in a good way)
Though your profile is highly unlikely to attract anyone on a fetish site like this
because it
  •  Shows no interests in or out of the fetish scene.
  • Nothing to see if a person is compatible with you
  • It suggests you want a shag (which is fine) but gives no incentive for anyone to go for it with you. It actually suggests you want a shag and are using this site to get a shag, but with no real fetish interest. (You come across as a user)
  • Your photo is rubbish and does nothing for you. Get a few pics taken by a professional photographer -think of this as part of your "Shag CV"
  • (The above applies to dating sites too)
  • If you don't want to do any of this work, Do pay-sex.  :)    {I escort too}


(in reply to onlyifyouwanna)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 3:22:54 AM   
JanieLouise


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
It goes back to what I've said before:
Men seem to have no problem reducing women to a sex/kink delivery system.
But, they get offended if women reduce them to just a wallet.
They don't see the similarities between those two acts.

Ha!
I am sooo stealing that line.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 3:35:37 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		great way to advertise yourself. super smooth.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 10/31/2012 3:36:12 AM >

(in reply to JanieLouise)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 4:39:51 AM   
NoChoiceLeft


Posts: 35
Joined: 10/18/2012
Status: offline 		Um... can't help but point out...
Advertize your prostitution somewhere that you aren't putting my life and my safety at risk, you're not my Dom, I don't consent! RED!!! TAXI!!! LAWSUIT!!! BANANAS!!! SOMEONE GET ME AN ADULT!!! SHANTISENA!!! CM ADMIN!?! DUNGEON MASTER!!!
This is why guys like this think all kinky women should put out for them personally on command. You're not helping the cause, you're setting it back a decade when you open your mouth about this HERE. I'm not saying don't do what you do, but who the hell are you to make a call like that for all of us? That's what you do every time you self promote like this.
(yes, I know I suggested a legal form of this... a LEGAL, NON BDSM or D/s/M/s related alternative that I hope strongly implied that the women you'll find here are NOT here for that or to offer you those sorts of relationships... You fucking broke it, ruined every good point I made! Not cool at all, I'm voting you off the island! Don't 'support' anything I ever say please.)

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 5:05:37 AM   
JanieLouise


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat
great way to advertise yourself. super smooth.

Wrong. 
I mention it for context and as part of showing I can see all angles in this debate.
I am not on this site to get clients, under any circumstances at all.
Escorting is a job, not what I do socially.
The fetishes I'm interested in are not services I provide Professionally, under any circumstances.
Whenever I meet people from non-Escort sites it is ALWAYS on a recreational basis. (ie. civilian-play as opposed to Pro-play )
  • Most of the members and readers of this thread are in another country to me
  • My Website does not appear on this site. Nor do any ad details.
  • I don't Professionally provide any fetish services at all, so it would be totally pointless looking for clients on this site
  • There is nothing on my profile to link or direct a person to my work contact details.
  • My work-name is not  JanieLouise. 
  • I advertise on very few sites. Unless someone had already seen one of my ads on one of those sites,  they would have no chance of finding my Working-Ad and contact number.
  • If anyone had seen my ads on an Escort site and wanted to contact me, they would do so from said site.  (You know, like pick up the phone and call me)  Doh!
  • I ONLY talk with people who can tell me where they have seen my number; this has to be one of my advertised places, or I hang up.
  • If anyone approached me on here, for professional services, I would explain that I'm not looking for that and I'd block them
And this is the bigee
  • If I meet someone from this site, why would they even consider trying to pay me, when I make no suggestion of a Professional engagement, nor the wish for Coin?


In short,
I am not advertising myself on a Professional basis, on this site.
I find your suggestion offensive.


< Message edited by JanieLouise -- 10/31/2012 5:32:33 AM >

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 5:06:25 AM   
MyPrprty4Life


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/13/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyifyouwanna

ok hear me out i can respect people trying to avoid looneys and a std but im honestly std free and if theres amutual attraction why not meet up and fuck i mean i hate the dating for months just to find a partner im compatible with then we have sex and either im not satisfied or your not satisfied hey it happens so why not just get it out of the way and go from there and see if a relationship develops i mean honestly in this day and age there no more risk for me then for you and like the saying says no risk no gain i mean if youre not trying to fuck or some form of intimacy then here your on the wrong site i know just my opinion sorry if i offend you its just how i feel about it


This isn't really what I envisioned my first CM forum post being about, but I have to ask: if you enjoyed the lady's company, and had fun, even if it doesn't involve sex, exactly how is that a waste of time? I'm definitely in the "sex is a must" camp, but even if you're in a relationship, it's the other stuff that makes up the bulk of it and those are the more difficult aspects of a relationship to find compatibility. Spending time exploring that is hardly a waste, especially if you use it to constantly learn more about yourself.

I haven't read your profile, but if your posts here are any indication, you might want to experiment with the shift and various punctuation keys on your keyboard.

< Message edited by MyPrprty4Life -- 10/31/2012 5:14:36 AM >

(in reply to onlyifyouwanna)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 5:14:45 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		gimme a break. i calls 'em like i sees 'em. your entire first post read like an advertisement, whether you meant it that way or not.

(in reply to JanieLouise)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 5:28:11 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		you brought your profession into the conversation. not me. if you bothered to read any of the previous posts, i suggested that the OP seek out the services of a prodomme or findomme. i don't have any problems with sex workers on any level, that's a personal decision. what i do take issue with is self-promotion under the guise of giving advice.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 10/31/2012 5:29:50 AM >

(in reply to JanieLouise)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 5:56:40 AM   
JanieLouise


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat
you brought your profession into the conversation. not me. if you bothered to read any of the previous posts, i suggested that the OP seek out the services of a prodomme or findomme. i don't have any problems with sex workers on any level, that's a personal decision. what i do take issue with is self-promotion under the guise of giving advice.


Wrong!, others mentioned Commercial sex in this thread, first.
I Escort, so it is reasonable for me to mention that in my original post.
This is not to drum up business, but for context.

So exactly where is this self-promotion?  I don't see my ad link, working name, work phone number, fees, services or anything that is definable as Professional self-promotion.  
  • The OP has stated that they do not want a Professional service
  • I am thousands of miles from them, so they are never going to meet me professionally or otherwise.
  • They want a Bio-female, I am a Trans-female
  • I suggested one of several possibilities would be for them to see an escort.  Clearly that escort would never be me  (wrong demographic, geographically and physically not forgetting that I never see anyone from this site on a commercial basis)
If this was self promotion, then there would be a link to somewhere or something promoting me,
don't you think?

This is very simple.
Think of it like this
This is a fetish site
I am here for exclusively fetish (non-commercial) reasons

I invite you to show me anything on this site that would enable you to connect with my Professional details.
{For all you know, I may not even be an Escort. -I am an Escort, the point being that you only have my word on that}
There is no way for you or anyone else to connect with my Professional persona.
That proves there is no self-promotion on my part.


What specifically do you feel is self promotion, on my part?

< Message edited by JanieLouise -- 10/31/2012 6:19:52 AM >

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 6:05:03 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		like i said, you're the one who keeps bringing your profession into the conversation. anyone who reads this thread will know a) you're an escort, b) you have a website, and c) you have advertisements on other websites, SINCE YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP. need more proof?

ETA: look, i'm not knocking your hustle. i'm just calling b.s. there are plenty of ways to connect you with your professional persona...all one has to do is google your image. proof is in the pudding, sweetheart.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 10/31/2012 6:20:19 AM >

(in reply to JanieLouise)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 6:23:26 AM   
JanieLouise


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2012
Status: offline 		So you can't find anything at all and you are wrong.
Your apology is accepted.

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 6:25:14 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		no need to accept an apology, one hasn't been given. see above post.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 10/31/2012 6:29:09 AM >

(in reply to JanieLouise)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 6:49:09 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyPrprty4Life

quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyifyouwanna

ok hear me out i can respect people trying to avoid looneys and a std but im honestly std free and if theres amutual attraction why not meet up and fuck i mean i hate the dating for months just to find a partner im compatible with then we have sex and either im not satisfied or your not satisfied hey it happens so why not just get it out of the way and go from there and see if a relationship develops i mean honestly in this day and age there no more risk for me then for you and like the saying says no risk no gain i mean if youre not trying to fuck or some form of intimacy then here your on the wrong site i know just my opinion sorry if i offend you its just how i feel about it


This isn't really what I envisioned my first CM forum post being about, but I have to ask: if you enjoyed the lady's company, and had fun, even if it doesn't involve sex, exactly how is that a waste of time? I'm definitely in the "sex is a must" camp, but even if you're in a relationship, it's the other stuff that makes up the bulk of it and those are the more difficult aspects of a relationship to find compatibility. Spending time exploring that is hardly a waste, especially if you use it to constantly learn more about yourself.

I haven't read your profile, but if your posts here are any indication, you might want to experiment with the shift and various punctuation keys on your keyboard.


Very good point, but one that will be lost on the OP and those like him. There is only one end game in mind with this type.

I wanted to mention an important point that is also lost on men:

I am really into sex. I happen to be amazing at it. Would I be amazing at it the first time we hooked up if I just met someone? Nope.

Why? Because even if I was attracted to you, I happen to need more than a pretty face/body to connect with; had all that, got the t-shirts. I need to be connected to the mind and heart. I happen to need to know you on a deeper level, know your interests, desires, fantasies, etc. And you need to know mine. I need to trust you.

Then, after that, I am willing to be your porn princess dream come true, but to be just a fuck buddy? Nah, you would not be getting the best of me and that would be your loss. For me, it would be a waste of my time.

That is why I like to wait. Not six months as the OP says, but until all of the above is met.

And this is the issue here; the rushing into sex part is short circuiting the amazing sex part, not to mention, the potential relationship part. Because no matter what anyone says, most times, rushing into sex with someone does not result in a relationship. Sometimes it does, but not always.

(in reply to MyPrprty4Life)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 10/31/2012 9:32:52 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

if you enjoyed the lady's company, and had fun, even if it doesn't involve sex, exactly how is that a waste of time?


I don't think the OP means it would be a waste of time that night, or for a week, or even three weeks...but if you wait three weeks, and find out the two of your are not compatible, and you have to go back to the well, and re-introduce yourself, and build back up to a meeting, and spend another three weeks...

Well. That adds up, fast. Time is finite.

It's like the difference between staying online with the connection or going to an IRL meet. Another poster in another thread mentioned he likes to segue into an actual meet after three weeks or so of chatting/phone-- that sounds about right. But if you don't know you have a the potential for a sexual connection by that point, what is being in that person's physical presence going to tell you other than you are/are not attracted to them?

And, yet--

quote:

Would I be amazing at it the first time we hooked up if I just met someone? Nope.



This. Totally agree.

But chatting with them via the 'net, or phone, is not "just meeting" them-- you have built something together. So you should both know if the other is already a potential sex partner, before you meet.

THAT SAID-- nobody into kink should agree to sex before the first meeting. The first meeting should always include the rule: nothing physical will happen that day. At all. That way, if either party wants to back out gracefully, for any or no reason, they can. Plus, added facets of safety/security, and common sense, and allll the rest.

But why be in a hurry? Because time is, again, finite. Finding someone you are compatible with takes time, and we'd rather spend it looking for people we click with sexually AND non-sexually, than spend lots of time with someone who just doesn't work for you in bed.

I already have friends I don't fuck. They're called "men."

Moreover, it takes at least three times in bed to find out whether you are compatible or not, for true. Best to get started, fairly soon.



(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 11/1/2012 6:36:03 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR to the OP.

You're 23 years old, fairly well built, live in a major metropolitan area (I was there for 18 years) and you can't find a kinky freak to play with.

I'm 52. 20# overweight, balding, grey and short and live in the sticks.
I have a young lady who travels cross country from Cali to play a few times a year and a group of kinky local friends who enjoy occupying themselves in carnal activities which sometimes include yours truly.

I met them here and on that other place.

It ain't the site. It's you.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 11/1/2012 5:28:56 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyifyouwanna

ok hear me out i can respect people trying to avoid looneys and a std but im honestly std free and if theres amutual attraction why not meet up and fuck i mean i hate the dating for months just to find a partner im compatible with then we have sex and either im not satisfied or your not satisfied hey it happens so why not just get it out of the way and go from there and see if a relationship develops i mean honestly in this day and age there no more risk for me then for you and like the saying says no risk no gain i mean if youre not trying to fuck or some form of intimacy then here your on the wrong site i know just my opinion sorry if i offend you its just how i feel about it


I'm real sorry to learn that it's inconvenient for a guy to have to wait a while before he can get a woman to spread her legs and take it for him, so he can figure out if a relationship is going to develop or not... That must suck... Honestly...

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to onlyifyouwanna)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 11/1/2012 6:20:50 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I'm real sorry to learn that it's inconvenient for a guy to have to wait a while before he can get a woman to spread her legs and take it for him, so he can figure out if a relationship is going to develop or not... That must suck... Honestly...


No, that doesn't suck. You know what sucks? Finding out, two months after having invested in another human being, that the two of you simply don't click physically. And never will. And then having to tell that person, "I have to see someone else to get my needs met." And the way they look at you, after 60 days of intense relations, when the truth is made plain (according to some users here, 60 days would even obligate you to stay with that person if they were diagnosed with a terminal illness, or be labeled a cad).


It must be the suckitude felt by super-christer kids who get married at 18, having dated each other but never fucked for 4 years, only to find out they really, really don't like the same things in bed, from their wedding night on. And now she's pregnant. Or the suckage of a woman who marries a gay man who doesn't know he's gay (or doesn't admit it, even to himself), only to find out 14 years and three kids later.

You know what would be better than all of this? Just about anything.

Starting with a simple rule: if there is no sex on the second date, there is no third date.



(in reply to E2Sweet)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: were on a sex site why so hard to get laid - 11/1/2012 6:32:14 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

Starting with a simple rule: if there is no sex on the second date, there is no third date.



Have you actually made it to a second date yet, des?

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
I already have friends I don't fuck. They're called "men."


Do you have women friends you don't f*ck? That's a rhetorical question; no need to answer.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 11/1/2012 6:34:10 PM >

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 100
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