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RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 12:16:26 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I just don't invest that much into brand new relationships until they have proven to have some staying power.


2 months of WIITWD is not a brand new relationship. To even start, there has to be a level of trust and intimacy already established. A situation like the OP's or Ktfezz's would certainly be a good trying point.

After a bizarre random attack in my home (MDA +1, attacker 0...he went out in an ambulance unable to reproduce with his face kicked in), S slept at my house with a loaded gun long after the restraining order went through. Granted, we'd been together for years but I'd bet everything he would have done that had we known each other two months. That's just the kind of guy he is...a gem.

And Ktfezz...someone who thinks he ought to play outside because you can't hold his dick while you recover from physical and emotional trauma is a turd. Though I reigned victorious, there were lots of layers to what happened to me and it took a long time with the right kind of help to get back in balance. I can only imagine what a full attack would require. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you kicked Mr. I-Wanna-Play-Outside-'Cuz-I'm-Too-Selfish-To-Go-Through-It-With-You to the curb...literally.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 11/1/2012 1:12:27 PM >

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 12:43:55 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite


Yeah, I'll be the bastard


You certainly are, and it sure seems that's all you have to offer. Can't you even pretend to have an ounce of compassion for someone other than yourself? (Who knows...you might not have any for yourself either. Bummer, dude.)


Beside the fact MDA that the poster you are responding to likes to stir the pot, his trolling reminds me of the guys who can't be inconvenienced by pregnancy or periods - think of the poor denied penises!

I think women should start a movement that allows them to immediately seek satisfaction elsewhere when their man has an encounter of not being able to rise to the occasion for whatever reason. Seems fair.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 6:12:50 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I think women should start a movement that allows them to immediately seek satisfaction elsewhere when their man has an encounter of not being able to rise to the occasion for whatever reason. Seems fair.


It does? That seems like some weird math...

I can't perform one night (and this assumes my tongue, fingers, and the vibrator are all broken, in addition to my cock), in a 60-day relationship = 1/60 of the time we've been together (.0167)

You won't let me TOUCH you, for three weeks, following a 60-day start = 24/60 (.4)

That's 1% compared to 40% (and ignoring the "no touching" versus "this one kind of sex, but not all sex").

Tell me: would you put a shoplifter who took a candy bar in jail as long as Jeff Skilling? Do you understand proportionality at all?


quote:

Granted, we'd been together for years but I'd bet everything he would have done that had we known each other two months.


Okay. I don't have a problem with someone choosing to do that. I have a problem with someone expecting someone to do that. Did you expect him to forego sex for the entire time he was protecting you? Did you demand it? If another woman offered him a nooner, would he be demonized for accepting?



quote:

guys who can't be inconvenienced by pregnancy or periods


So? That's why you have a mouth and an asshole. And I have a vasectomy.











(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 6:35:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		So, I'm going to assume you would never do a long distance relationship then. Because there are times when you go months in between until you both are able to get together again.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 6:58:25 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

Granted, we'd been together for years but I'd bet everything he would have done that had we known each other two months.


Okay. I don't have a problem with someone choosing to do that. I have a problem with someone expecting someone to do that. Did you expect him to forego sex for the entire time he was protecting you? Did you demand it? If another woman offered him a nooner, would he be demonized for accepting?


^^^This is laughable, but oh so youuuuuuu, des. The very last thing my partner thought about while protecting me (or any other traumatized person) was his dick (doubtful he thought of it at all). He was sensitive to the fact that there was a much more urgent and important issue present and he wanted to comfort, support and protect (three words you will have to look up on dictionary.com to understand.)

To answer your question about would he be demonized for accepting a nooner from someone else...he was CANONIZED for what he did do. He's not interested in extracurricular nooners; he's interested in me and my well-being. That's why he's my life-partner (another term you might have to look up somewhere to fathom.)


quote:

quote:

guys who can't be inconvenienced by pregnancy or periods


quote:

So? That's why you have a mouth and an asshole. And I have a vasectomy.


And why do you have a dick and asshole, des? Is it so they can take over for the mouth on your face whenever you have something to post here?












< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 11/1/2012 7:17:47 PM >

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 8:40:51 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I'm having this experience myself - not due to catastrophic illness or anything, just being single and AWOL and preoccupied by other things. I've lost quite a bit of my tolerance and some things I used to like are weird, or otherwise unlikeable for now. I have a desire to re-like them, so I imagine that will take me far, but it's frustrating at times when you remember the fun you USED to have, but your present-day-self is like "uh.... no." haha
If I ever find a long-term partner, I imagine we can fix that stuff together.

Get well soon, reeds. :)

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 9:16:42 PM   
Mezrem


Posts: 311
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Wow... just wow...

I was friends with the lady who is now my wife. We started off in an open relationship and developed into poly relationship. That said there have been a number of times through the years and it was just the two of us. When she is ill or things have come up, me getting off is the last thing on my mind. I guess it's a matter of what is a priority in your life.... for me it is the health both physical and mental of those I love.

As Lady Pact said earlier in this thread you don't get to pick out just the good times. Those that do are not worth the time and energy of building anything with.

Just my two bits.

_____________________________

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

~Storm Jameson

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 9:20:31 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mezrem

Wow... just wow...

When she is ill or things have come up, me getting off is the last thing on my mind. I guess it's a matter of what is a priority in your life.... for me it is the health both physical and mental of those I love.

you don't get to pick out just the good times. Those that do are not worth the time and energy of building anything with.

Just my two bits.


^^^Thank goodness, Mezrem. It is just too f*cking depressing to think all that's out there are absolute prizes like descrite. It is sad indeed to ponder the lack of love in these emotionally stunted people's lives.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 11/1/2012 9:58:18 PM >

(in reply to Mezrem)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 9:49:36 PM   
Mezrem


Posts: 311
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Just calling it like I see it.

_____________________________

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

~Storm Jameson

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 11:43:42 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes. Some survived some didn't.

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(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 11:46:41 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

So, I'm going to assume you would never do a long distance relationship then. Because there are times when you go months in between until you both are able to get together again.


Wanna see the T-shirt?

But it's also why realizing exclusivity is unreasonable in those circumstances. I want a healthy partner, with normal appetites...not a cloistered aesthete preferring deprivation to my presence...and I expect her to feel the same.

Look-- there are wives that think their husband viewing porn and jerking off is a transgression and crime against their exclusive claim on his orgasms...that is seriously fucked up, and if you believe that, nothing in the world I (or any rational person) can say will resonate with you.

But if you aren't willing to get your partner's rocks off, then you have to allow them to find someone who will. Otherwise, you're just a viscious, evil harpy (or dick, for husbands). Flip it: how long do YOU find it reasonable to expect a spouse/life partner to go without gratification, for whatever reason? If my standards are too low, tell me what you think is too high.

And somone two months into a relationship didn't sign on to be a bodyguard or nursemaid or clinician: no individual has an obligation to be their lover's life-support system 60 days into the deal. There are reasonable expectations of an equitable partnership, and that ain't one of 'em. It is ridiculous to think a person who has just spent 1/6 of a year with you should now be obligated to spend the rest of the year not getting laid because you are defective.





(in reply to Mezrem)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/1/2012 11:54:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		nm. really not worth it.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 11/1/2012 11:56:09 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 12:03:26 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite


It is ridiculous to think a person who has just spent 1/6 of a year with you should now be obligated to spend the rest of the year not getting laid because you are defective.



Quoted for posterity.

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 12:15:55 AM   
Mezrem


Posts: 311
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:



And somone two months into a relationship didn't sign on to be a bodyguard or nursemaid or clinician: no individual has an obligation to be their lover's life-support system 60 days into the deal. There are reasonable expectations of an equitable partnership, and that ain't one of 'em. It is ridiculous to think a person who has just spent 1/6 of a year with you should now be obligated to spend the rest of the year not getting laid because you are defective.


It depends on your situation.. if none of the others are in our lives anymore then there would be no outlet for it. Either way I would be there waiting and taking care of my partner. I have made promises to her that bind me through the good times and the bad just as she has made them to me. You are welcome to live your life any way you like.

I am not ruled by my penis and have never been even in my teen age years. You asked for an upper limit.. that is easy I will be at her side right up to the point she's taken from me or she can look me in the eye and tell me I am no longer welcome to hold the reigns. Until then I am there come what may.
(edited for clarification of my intent)

< Message edited by Mezrem -- 11/2/2012 12:51:34 AM >

_____________________________

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

~Storm Jameson

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 12:45:04 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Six months into my relationship my dad took very ill. He held on for 6 more months, and then died. During this whole time my new partner stood by me and waited. He held me when I cried, he listened to me rambling on and on about how much I missed my dad, and he understood when play and sex were off the menu because I just couldn't do it. He sat back and waited while I tried to push him away, and put up with my mood swings and anger outbursts.

During that time we had very little sex, and pretty much nothing in the way of play. He's a sadist, and I couldn't feed his sadism. For months even the first stroke of a cane had me a bawling wreck and play had to stop.

And yet we're still together. He coped without getting his dick wet for months at a time. He's still coping with not being able to fully exercise his sadism. The difference is, he's a man first and a kinkster second.

I did well this time - I found a real man. The kind who is led by his big head, not his little head. He knows that things are going to be fixed slowly, and he's ok with that. I encouraged him to play with others (non-sexually) at play parties, but he doesn't want to. He wants me. Yup, he's a keeper

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 12:58:32 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		It's a good thing potential subs/slaves can access these forums from a person's profile. Hopefully anyone checking out descrite's profile will look at his posts before contacting him or after he contacts them.
It's seems with each post he is digging his grave deeper and deeper. Poor twatwaffle! Not.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 5:36:42 AM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline 		Ah, yes-- poor me. Because I'm unwilling to sign on for a four-year hellride after having dated someone maybe eight times.

Poor me. I will lose the joy of longterm shacking up with someone fundamentlly impaired.

Potential Subs, let it be known: I am looking for adutl women, of capacity for informed consent, who have their own therapists/doctors/counselors, as necessary, and are whole people unto their right. I don't want a slave, a doormat, a child, a subordinate, in terms of a life partner-- I want a real, complete, whole, sound human. It either of us contracts hantavirus or leukemia, or gets hit by a truck, I don't expect you to stay around unless you've been with me more than a year..probably three or more. I want you to remember me pretty, instead.



(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 5:48:24 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Didn't say a thing about signing on for anything. You want to go straight to sex before you've known someone long enough to ascertain if you even like her. Comes across as a horn dog, not dominant. You also see nothing wrong with finding someone else to fuck while your sub/slave is out of commission for a time ... wouldn't that leave your sub/slave feeling special knowing your cock is more important than her.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 11:38:33 AM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline 		If I became incapable of (or unwilling in) pleasing my partner, I would not expect my partner's sexuality to die with my capability/desire. That would be ridiculous to even ask of her, and abusive. Witholding sex is an evil form of diminishment.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Kink Interrupted - 11/2/2012 11:45:06 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
I don't want a slave, a doormat, a child, a subordinate, in terms of a life partner-- I want a real, complete, whole, sound human.


Of course you do. Doesn't everyone? But you keep skipping a vital step. To receive one you have to be one yourself. You don't even pretend to offer the same. You keep expecting you'll get the entire functional package while all you offer is a dick attached to an emotionally stunted penis-support system. No wonder you're so frustrated.

And remember that cliche definition of insanity: keep doin' what you're doin', expect a completely different outcome, then do it some more!

But, you know... rock on with your bad self. It livens up the boards.


(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 40
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