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How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:26:30 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

We have had many posts on tolerance, on the definitions we use in bdsm, on how we post towards each, all of these have me wondering, just how accepting are we here on cm and in real life of each others kinks and lifestyles. Or for that matter others lifestyles in general? (i.e.; biker, Christian, Susie homemaker, Joe suit and tie)

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

Post #: 1

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:36:40 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

We have had many posts on tolerance, on the definitions we use in bdsm, on how we post towards each, all of these have me wondering, just how accepting are we here on cm and in real life of each others kinks and lifestyles. Or for that matter others lifestyles in general? (i.e.; biker, Christian, Susie homemaker, Joe suit and tie)

quote:

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

I am far more critical of people online than I am in real life. In my own life, I could care less what people do. I don't question my friends when they tell me they are moving in with someone they just met the night before. I don't judge anyone for their kinks. But it seems that I have on this forum. I am an extremely private person IRL, I don't neighbor and I am very uncomfortable in large crowds; for this reason, I don't even go to malls and I hate shopping.

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

The only kink that I have trouble with are the illegal ones. Other than that, if you told me you love to eat your Doms shit, I wouldnt even bat an eye. To each their own.

quote:

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

Yes I would listen if someone wanted to discuss their kink. No, I try not to flame/judge them.

quote:

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

Explain please.

quote:

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

It can be both.

_____________________________

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:48:35 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Hello twice.

I have to say, I have no problem with anyones kink/desire - simply because they do not interfere in my life.

To me, if I hate something, that means I am allowing it to impact my life. So I do not hate. The only time I hate, is when I love. There is the most beautiful quote:

quote:

'Know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.'

I do not like the word Lifestyle - on any level - but if someone wants to use it for themself, I am not concerned, until they start insisting that everyone 'is'. Do not interfere in my life. Simple as that.

I am happy to discuss any kink with anyone. Doesn't mean I agree with them, but I believe that is helps to accept, if you are bothered to understand - whether I find it morally wrong or right doesn't come into it unless it infringes on me.

As for the M/s or D/s Mummy/Daddy question - I believe it is subjective. I do not think you can define it as either. Some people partake in it for play - some live it as their life.

The only concept that in my concern - is consensuality.

Peace and Rapture

*edit to add: flaming. I see this as an online invention term no different to the whole W/we kinda concept. If you disagree with someone - apparently, its a flame. If you say someone wrong - apparently, its a flame. But we disagree with people in all life - thats not a flame. I just has a really hard time understanding the concept of 'flaming'.

< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 6/15/2006 5:52:33 AM >

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(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:54:34 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

The only kink that I have trouble with are the illegal ones. Other than that, if you told me you love to eat your Doms shit, I wouldnt even bat an eye. To each their own.

But so many BDSM activities can be 'illegal' depending on which country or state you live in. How do you define illegal? (Sorry - don't mean to take off topic - just interested)

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:56:19 AM

MasterR001

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline

To each his own. I have no problem with you doing your thing, even if I am not into it.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:58:04 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

The only kink that I have trouble with are the illegal ones. Other than that, if you told me you love to eat your Doms shit, I wouldnt even bat an eye. To each their own.

But so many BDSM activities can be 'illegal' depending on which country or state you live in. How do you define illegal? (Sorry - don't mean to take off topic - just interested)

Peace and Rapture

Hi Darkinshadows,
I didnt want to name them specifically, but those that involve children. I live in the USA, so those laws apply.

_____________________________

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 5:59:40 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Thank You for clarifying MoGa - I appriciate you taking the time to respond.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:01:17 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Thank You for clarifying MoGa - I appriciate you taking the time to respond.

Peace and Rapture

You're welcome

_____________________________

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:01:42 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

The best way for me is when it is a moonless night and the window has been recently cleaned and they have the lights on. Gawd A'mighty there are some NASTY bitches out there!!!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:12:25 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I could care less about others kinks because as someone else stated...."they have no affect on my life" .
I don't openly share some "kinks" that i enjoy simply because i have no desire to justify or defend them to any who might judge.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:12:30 AM

sensiia

Posts: 103
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

One thing I avoid is being judgemental of a person(s). I feel a person should live their life as they see fit for themselves. I am sure there are things people would view as immoral, BDSM, D/s etc even outside of BDSM.

I met a Dom back in the fall who was very judgemental of me, helped me to open my eyes about ignorance and how much I truly love myself :).

I'm not the moral police but there is a limit, underage is a no no,incest also but that is my opinion.

As far as Daddy/girl not my kink but hell I like the Pirate/wench bit ;)

When people have negatives in their lives they tend to project them onto others to keep the focus off themselves.

Be well

S

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:14:11 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

The best way for me is when it is a moonless night and the window has been recently cleaned and they have the lights on. Gawd A'mighty there are some NASTY bitches out there!!!!!

LMAO....Have You been cruising my neighborhood????

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:17:40 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Can you be in the process of making the beast around 10 pm on the 17th? I have an available slot then, I could work you in.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:34:00 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

Somethings may not be my cup of tea but as long as all parties involved are so consenually, are of age and no one suffers permanent damage, have at it and have fun.

*Brightspot

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(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:52:44 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I tend to agree with brightspot here. Generally I take the view that it is none of my jolly business... If however it piques my curiosity, I'm just as likely to wait for the appropriate time and ask questions if not then that's fine with me..... The only time I hate things is when the practitioners are determined to ram it down my threat....

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 6:58:05 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

To each their own i can listen i might try but always in the end i decide what is best for me and only for me. And yes if it isn't legal i don't ummmm do it giggles. Seriously no kids and no animals for me and for those liking kids and stay away from mine!

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 7:02:46 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

We have had many posts on tolerance, on the definitions we use in bdsm, on how we post towards each, all of these have me wondering, just how accepting are we here on cm and in real life of each others kinks and lifestyles. Or for that matter others lifestyles in general? (i.e.; biker, Christian, Susie homemaker, Joe suit and tie)

How accepting I am here on CM is not going to be any different Face to Face or vice verse.

quote:

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

I hate judgmental attitudes that come from ignorance.... Racism for example is something I hate and have no tolerance for these types of individuals. They will Know my opinion of them!

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

I can't say that I find any partcularly kink morally reprehensible. However, I have not come across every kink in existence... so maybe someday this just might happen. But, it really does come down to what you think Kink is in the first place. If we have different definitions of Kink... some might consider some activities as kink while I might consider it as "mentally unbalanced"

quote:

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

I very much enjoy discussing and listen to others express their kink interests. I will never understand another's mindset in doing a particular kink... but I may gain some appreciation and insight that will open new thoughts to consider in the way I look at things.

quote:

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

I don't make catergories of kink... except... Do it, Done it, Never Done it, Will Never Do it.

quote:

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

Kink is the what we do... Lifestyle is the way we live.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 7:03:35 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I don't consider anything we do a "lifestyle" but I love others kink. I had a fabulous talk the other day at work with someone who's kink is vastly different than mine. I am very serious when I play, serious as in formal, rigid, etc. He and his partner are switches and they switch back and forth during a scene, often strugling for control/dominance over others. Yuck for me, but oh it is SO hot to watch. One of the many reasons I love going to play parties is watching others do things I would never do.

I will always poke fun at those who take themselves too seriously, who spread lies and or bullshit, or who seek to manipulate others.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 7:10:54 AM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

There are things I can't grasp of others... because of my own personal thoughts on certain subjects. And I am just tired of getting flamed for not understanding when I voice my opinion on the subject. So when it's something I can't grasp.. or even repulsed by..I find myself just walking away.

As for the moral issues... we all have our own and deal with them accordingly.

As already stated...I don't mind others kink.. even if I don't agree with them. As for flaming them..no... lol...hell I get flamed for not agreeing with them ...not as much about the subject... just simply I disagree. So sometimes it leaves my open mindness about the kink left in the outfield. So although I do not like some kinks...I am open minded about at least the discussion. Even here on CM ... i've had my personal thoughts on some kinks reversed.

I so think of so many things differently than most. To the point of sometimes even questioning my own way of life. I've juggled if i'm a submissive, switch, domme... because of ways others preceive different things on here. Luckily my submissive soul keeps me in check.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 7:11:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

I don't get masochists at all. I look on them with confused awe- like you'd look at an alien you were seeing for the first time.

I don't get the "domestic discipline" thing- just seems like kinky relationships who want traditional values and want to sound cooler than just being kinky.

I don't get rubber/latex at all- but my partner is a huge rubber fan so I get off on his reactions.

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

I think the "fattening people up" kink is pretty much as worst as it gets if you're talking informed consent- just unhealthy.

quote:

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

I am fascinated by the things I don't understand.

quote:

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

Mainstream- bondage, flogging, needles, whips, spanking, electric play, knives

Fringe- breath play, blood, hook suspension, discipline, objectification
[qupte]
How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink?
I know people who use it as a kink, but I don't consider it one.

quote:

How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

I consider it to be a relationship dynamic.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 20

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