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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:43:17 PM

mnottertail

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or drop one off and some lotion and a whisky bottle and never bring it up again.

he will have the next move.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:45:09 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Maybe we are not communicating, you and I. Do you want him to just bore the fucking dogfuck out of you? Mash 18 million megatons of molten meat into your firm yet quivering virginia?

There may be things that are not seen by men as sex that are seen by women as sex.

I sense a feeling of inferiority or apprehension in your guy about sex, and so the head on bull thru the thing isn't going to cut it, because he is going to belive the bottom line is you are wholly dissatisfied, and he is inadequate and that's the end of it.

From there, what tactics and strategies can we use to calm his apprehensionr and reason (even if it is a very childish level at first with the fellow?)

hmm i used to think he was insecure about the sex thing .. that he was scared i wasnt happy with it and so on .. but now i just feel that he dont care .. he couldnt care less about sex or how i feel about it ..
what normal guy sais no every time he is offered a bj .. ?? *pulling my hair out*

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:47:14 PM

Darkfeather

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This is why you have to talk to Him. Only you can find out whats going on in that head of his, one way or the other

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:48:00 PM

mnottertail

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OK, clean the house, pay the bills, food cooked, all the stuff ready, pack your bags, nothing at all to do, ever. Meet him at the door naked, good soft music playing, hand him a beer, drop to your knees, open your mouth look up with a pretty face and smile. If he dont do the legendary thing without let or hindrance right fucking there.........stand up, dress yourself, grab your bags and hit the bus station.............. it's as over as christmas the next day.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:48:58 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Y'now.

I am constantly floored to see people who seem quite bright pretending to be someone they are not (this time, emphatically) in order to maintain a tenuous relationship with someone who does not like what the pretender is pretending not to be.

Bottom line : If you scare this guy, it is best that he leave. So you can look for someone you can have a good relationship with. There are worse things that could happen than some guy who doesn't like you figuring that out... You could, for example, keep on pretending to be someone he does like.

point taken

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:50:09 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

so...you're ready to spend your life with someone, but you can't talk to him about sex? that's gonna be a shitty honeymoon.

long shot question: have you two ever watched a dirty movie together? that may be a fun way to break the ice.

heh.. this will come as a suprise .... he dont like porn ... haha .. meh ..

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:51:34 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, clean the house, pay the bills, food cooked, all the stuff ready, pack your bags, nothing at all to do, ever. Meet him at the door naked, good soft music playing, hand him a beer, drop to your knees, open your mouth look up with a pretty face and smile. If he dont do the legendary thing without let or hindrance right fucking there.........stand up, dress yourself, grab your bags and hit the bus station.............. it's as over as christmas the next day.

i know he would say .. what are ya dooing yaaa... are u crazy... ?

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:52:03 PM

Toysinbabeland

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Run for the hills if he doesn't ” like” porn

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:52:28 PM

LonDom61

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Edited to add: I wrote the part below before you had gotten to the `he doesn`t like porn`part.

I`ll leave it in. Mostly because it took awhile to think & type it.

In your original post (OP) you said `don`t just tell me to leave him`. But consider: how happy are you going to be, continuing for years like this.

I don`t know, from what you describe, if talking to him will be be a) possible and b) effective. Even if you bring him a few points up the scale, that`s not going to be enough for you. Not long term.

We don`t know anything about the rest of your situation. What he`s like. What you`ve got invested in him. How awkward it would be to leave him. How difficult it would be to find another guy. Especially a Dom.

But...

I think you should seriously consider that.

Not only is he not Dom. He only wants sex a few times a week and doesn`t care much whether or not you enjoy it.

He doesn`t even like porn. And would think you were crazy if you greeted him, naked and kneeling, with mouth open.

Is the rest of your time with him THAT amazing

= = =

You`ve pointed out that, in Turkey, things are more free than we would assume for a largely Muslim country.

He is not Muslim. You haven`t said if you are. There are Muslim women living in theocracies on this site. One perved me recently.

You have been having (some and just vanilla) sex before marriage...which probably happens even with Muslims, but I`m guessing not as much or as openly as here.

You have been able to access this site.

= = =
So...

If you can access CM, I presume you can also access some porn sites. Perhaps you could pre-screen some and find a few that have a mild version of what you`d like. Something you think might arouse, but not shock, him. Then show him. I realize, given how you`ve described him, that even that will be difficult.

Not sure how easy it is to view, then see same videos again without having to pay to be a member. I can only think of a few. PornTube, PinkTube I think...

What about torrenting the porn? (ie ThePirateBay.se) Can you do that there? Do you know how (or can you learn)? That way you don`t have to be online when you watch it...alone or with him. You can keep it on a thumb drive or SD card...or burn it to a DVD.

= = =

The above advice about telling him, but making it playful, not dire, is also good.

That`s all I can think of for now.

Good luck!

< Message edited by LonDom61 -- 11/1/2012 3:06:06 PM >

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:53:10 PM

absolutchocolat

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a man that doesn't like porn?! holy crap. i'd look into getting a dom to play with on the side...this is starting to sound pretty hopeless.

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:57:29 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LonDom61

You`ve pointed out that, in Turkey, things are more free than we would assume for a largely Muslim country.

He is not Muslim. You haven`t said if you are. There are Muslim women living in theocracies on this site. One perved me recently.

You have been having (some and just vanilla) sex before marriage...which probably happens even with Muslims, but I`m guessing not as much or as openly as here.

You have been able to access this site.

= = =
So...

If you can access CM, I presume you can also access some porn sites. Perhaps you could pre-screen some and find a few that have a mild version of what you`d like. Something you think might arouse, but not shock, him. Then show him. I realize, given how you`ve described him, that even that will be difficult.

Not sure how easy it is to view, then see same videos again without having to pay to be a member. I can only think of a few. PornTube, PinkTube I think...

What about torrenting the porn? (ie ThePirateBay.se) Can you do that there? Do you know how (or can you learn)? That way you don`t have to be online when you watch it...alone or with him. You can keep it on a thumb drive or SD card...or burn it to a DVD.

= = =

The above advice about telling him, but making it playful, not dire, is also good.

That`s all I can think of for now.

Good luck!

thank you for a very good reply.
i am not muslim, im am a norwegian moved here for work, then i met him..

i think he always had vanilla sex .. not sure he has even tried anythng dominant ever..

i can only get on porn.com in turkey.. at leat the only site i have been able to get on so far.

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 2:58:36 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

a man that doesn't like porn?! holy crap. i'd look into getting a dom to play with on the side...this is starting to sound pretty hopeless.

that has crossed my mind ..

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:05:15 PM

Darkfeather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfulneeds

quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

a man that doesn't like porn?! holy crap. i'd look into getting a dom to play with on the side...this is starting to sound pretty hopeless.

that has crossed my mind ..

You have to be careful with this line of thought. Sure, seeing a Dom on the side would solve your end. But if you don't tell him about it first, it could cause problems

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:06:11 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfulneeds

quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

a man that doesn't like porn?! holy crap. i'd look into getting a dom to play with on the side...this is starting to sound pretty hopeless.

that has crossed my mind ..

You have to be careful with this line of thought. Sure, seeing a Dom on the side would solve your end. But if you don't tell him about it first, it could cause problems

i know .. he is jealous .. he would never let me see anyone else...

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:07:14 PM

mnottertail

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Yeah, sex talk or not, if he dont like sex, I am unsure how he could be opposed to you having the hobby if you do like it, but one should be an Ethical Slut.

Donnie and Sheena Easton

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:08:13 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Yeah, sex talk or not, if he dont like sex, I am unsure how he could be opposed to you having the hobby if you do like it, but one should be an Ethical Slut.

Donnie and Sheena Easton

he sais he like it .. just dont want all the time ... crazy man.. ;)

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:09:59 PM

mnottertail

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which is fine. days he wants it you play dump truck, bend over he loads you......on the off days, you still collect your specimens with his knowledge and blessings, until you too one day tire of the hobby.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/1/2012 3:10:53 PM >

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:21:27 PM

LonDom61

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I checked out your profile. It was just a link to your blog, so I went there.

https://sinfulneeds.wordpress.com/

I read that you worship him. Much of the nice stuff you say regards his looks. Is that it, or primarily it? You mention the lust and need he brings out in you. But if he won`t satisfy that need...won`t you just be even MORE frustrated...for the rest of your life?

You mention him grabbing your hair, telling you to suck him, then fucking you against the wall. So...it seems like maybe he`s getting your hints

I imagine your reaction made it clear, but did you make sure he got positive re-inforcement for this uncharacteristic behaviour?

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:39:10 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfulneeds

what normal guy sais no every time he is offered a bj .. ?? *pulling my hair out*

Have you considered he may simply be gay?

Turkey is pretty modern, but it's still not a place where it's good to be open about that, which might account for a lot of the issues you're explaining.

D'ække dæ, tøtto.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: need some help with my man - 11/1/2012 3:48:15 PM

sinfulneeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfulneeds

what normal guy sais no every time he is offered a bj .. ?? *pulling my hair out*

Have you considered he may simply be gay?

Turkey is pretty modern, but it's still not a place where it's good to be open about that, which might account for a lot of the issues you're explaining.

D'ække dæ, tøtto.

IWYW,
— Aswad.