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Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 4:21:12 AM   
farquad


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/22/2012
Status: offline 		Hi there,

I consider myself straight. I've never had a relationship with a guy and can't imaging doing so. But thats the emotional side.

Physically, I do see guys. More than girls in fact, but thats more about them being easier to find than because of preference :-) Quite often in a drunken half an hour on slaveboy or gaydar I can find a local sub to come round and service me. But I only use their mouths, so whats between their legs doesn't matter too much. I get them to agree beforehand that they will show up, deepthroat me, rim me, swallow my load and leave. And the right kind of sub is more than happy to do so :-)

I've noticed quite a few profiles here (dom and sub) that are looking for either gender. My question is, when its a purely physical encounter, is it common for guys or girls who are straight _in real life_ so to speak to use or be used by the other gender. And if so, is it a compromise, or a taboo thing?

Discuss... :-)
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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 4:29:39 AM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		If you are having sexual encounters with those of the same sex, you are not straight. It is a convenient series of excuses you've come up with though, I'll give you that.

I don't think having sexual adventures is any more taboo than any of the other weird, wild and kinky things we as kinksters do. Why is it important to know whether or not it's taboo anyway?

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 4:31:24 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums.

First off, I disagree with your concept of a purely physical encounter. I partake in a spanking game at parties, that matches bottoms with tops for two minute play sessions, and occasionally draw male bottoms. I play with them but it doesn't turn me on. To me, since it doesn't involve genitals, it's a purely physical thing. I would not take rimming or fellatio as purely asexual physicality.

There are some subs who take forced bisexuality (or in the case of lesbians, forced heterosexual sexual activity) as pushing limits and done to show devotion to their Dominant.

I think that your real question is, what constitutes bisexuality? Is it play with the same gender, or a full blown relationship?

My answer would be that allowing a full blown relationship obviously is bi, but after that, it depends on your definition of "play". But I would consider your play, as described, to be sexual, and would call you bi.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 4:41:09 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I personally wouldn't call you straight, but that's just my opinion. =p

I am madly in love with FL's "heteroflexible" designation. I like women, but I'm not particularly interested in a purely lesbian relationship. I'm more into men than I am into women, but I would never say that I don't like women. =p So heteroflexible it is!

For me, the interest in any sort of sexual thing with another chick is what lead me to conclude "well... I'm not straight." If you're doing sexual stuff with members of the same sex and getting off, I don't think you can claim to be 100% straight, but again, that is just my opinion.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:02:52 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		nothing to talk about you are gay period!

BadOne

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:12:15 AM   
farquad


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/22/2012
Status: offline 		Interesting responses... Mostly ;-)

Maybe my title was misleading, I wasn't looking for diagnosis as to whether I'm straight or bi or gay, I'm comfortable where I am and I believe everyone is on the sliding scale somewhere. The reason I say I consider myself straight is because I believe I'm closer to that end of the scale, and society requires me to pick one of three options.

I was more curious as to whether this is a common thing, for people to explore both sexes on a physical level while being content with just the one on an emotional relationship, "falling in love" kind of way.

For all I know, maybe I am gay, and I just haven't met the right guy. Never say never. I'm just reasonably confident that I'm sexually and emotionally experienced enough to know where I stand, but nobody knows what might be going on deep down. A closed mind is a dangerous thing! :-)

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:21:52 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

My question is, when its a purely physical encounter, is it common for guys or girls who are straight _in real life_ so to speak to use or be used by the other gender. And if so, is it a compromise, or a taboo thing?



I think you actually meant to say "used by the SAME gender". Sex with the other gender is called heterosexual, and most people don't view it as taboo.

(in reply to farquad)
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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:29:06 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

Interesting responses... Mostly ;-)

Maybe my title was misleading, I wasn't looking for diagnosis as to whether I'm straight or bi or gay, I'm comfortable where I am and I believe everyone is on the sliding scale somewhere. The reason I say I consider myself straight is because I believe I'm closer to that end of the scale, and society requires me to pick one of three options.

I was more curious as to whether this is a common thing, for people to explore both sexes on a physical level while being content with just the one on an emotional relationship, "falling in love" kind of way.

For all I know, maybe I am gay, and I just haven't met the right guy. Never say never. I'm just reasonably confident that I'm sexually and emotionally experienced enough to know where I stand, but nobody knows what might be going on deep down. A closed mind is a dangerous thing! :-)



REALLY you are going with that line of BS. You think someone not wanting to have their cock sucked by the same sex is a closed mind? Are you fucking kidding me? I refuse to have sex with some on as old as my mom or younger than my daughters.... In your world that makes me closed minded.

At the very least learn how to have an intelligent discourse without name calling SHEESH

BadOne

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:37:08 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad
I was more curious as to whether this is a common thing, for people to explore both sexes on a physical level while being content with just the one on an emotional relationship, "falling in love" kind of way.


To me, that's where "heteroflexible" best fits. =p I don't really have an interest in a relationship with a woman. Maybe, like you said, we just haven't met the right same sex person to fully swing us the other way =p But for me, my relationship interests are almost entirely male focused. Still, I like physical activities with chicks.

I think people are on a continuum, like you said. I do agree with that. Some people are VERY straight, and some people are VERY gay. And then there are people floating around in the middle.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 5:57:04 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		SB!
Those men are only sucking his dick and asshole...
What's gay about that?? People are so homophobic
I sware!

Look all the guys saying they are straight while
doing this stuff or getting fucked up the ass or
whatever, are really just ridiculous to me.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:08:29 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Those men are only sucking his dick and asshole...
What's gay about that?? People are so homophobic
I sware!



Exactly! The OP likes having sex with men. I don't see how anyone could confuse that with being gay or bi?

(in reply to ARIES83)
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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:11:19 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

My question is, when its a purely physical encounter, is it common for guys or girls who are straight _in real life_ so to speak to use or be used by the other gender. And if so, is it a compromise, or a taboo thing?



I think you actually meant to say "used by the SAME gender". Sex with the other gender is called heterosexual, and most people don't view it as taboo.

I thibnk he had it right the first time...its playing with girls that's the weird thing here. Friends comment keeps coming to mind:"honey you are as queer as a $3 bill, just because you can spend it at the store, doesn't make you like everyone else"
If the bi label doesn't fit due to your christian upbringing I would very much call you heteroflexible. Basic reason being if your straight wife walked in on you being "serviced" the other penis in the room would be an issue...makes you not straight

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:16:49 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Anyone who has ever seen "The Boondock Saints" knows it's only gay, if you cuddle, afterwards.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:27:45 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

SB!
Those men are only sucking his dick and asshole...
What's gay about that?? People are so homophobic
I sware!

Look all the guys saying they are straight while
doing this stuff or getting fucked up the ass or
whatever, are really just ridiculous to me.


Well let's think about this. I guess what makes it gay...might be the fact that he is doing it with another man. I'm just guessing that is the def of gay, same gender sex.


To your second point. I'm sure guys take it up the ass daily, The only way it would be considered gay is doing it with the same sex. Are you getting the picture?

BadOne



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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:32:54 AM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		I find it to be much more common with men than I do with women, in general.

That has much to do with the gender divide.

Women, generally, will wait to find what they seek and be content alone (or at least more content than settling) and not consider anyone outside of whatever parameters they have set.

Men, generally, will take whatever is around while seeking. Which is fine, if they remain upfront about it all.

What I've noticed is a large amount of socially inept men who are desperate for kink encounters will get so discouraged seeking for what they want that they will settle for anything at all, as long as it feeds their fetish. Even someone of the same sex. I see it quite a bit with sub men who want their fetish and don't care who gives it to them, which is why they are so frequently rebuffed by women.

So is it common? No. Not so much.

Is it common among those that are desperate or just plain tired of looking for what they really want and being consistently rejected? Yes.

It's not kinky. It's not taboo. It's not a compromise. It's just people who want sex more than they want to take the time to develop as a person and be attractive to the opposite sex and figure they will take advantage of the plethora of those in the same situation.

The downside of it all is, the more these people engage in easy and meaningless encounters the more it erodes their social skills making it a cyclic pattern and keeping them stuck with whatever bone they can get. Becoming more jaded, more cynical, more unhappy, and more frustrated.

For some, it's just fun. Sounds like it is just fun for you so why worry?





(in reply to farquad)
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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 6:56:45 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xLaChienne

I find it to be much more common with men than I do with women, in general.

That has much to do with the gender divide.

Women, generally, will wait to find what they seek and be content alone (or at least more content than settling) and not consider anyone outside of whatever parameters they have set.

Men, generally, will take whatever is around while seeking. Which is fine, if they remain upfront about it all.

What I've noticed is a large amount of socially inept men who are desperate for kink encounters will get so discouraged seeking for what they want that they will settle for anything at all, as long as it feeds their fetish. Even someone of the same sex. I see it quite a bit with sub men who want their fetish and don't care who gives it to them, which is why they are so frequently rebuffed by women.

So is it common? No. Not so much.

Is it common among those that are desperate or just plain tired of looking for what they really want and being consistently rejected? Yes.

It's not kinky. It's not taboo. It's not a compromise. It's just people who want sex more than they want to take the time to develop as a person and be attractive to the opposite sex and figure they will take advantage of the plethora of those in the same situation.

The downside of it all is, the more these people engage in easy and meaningless encounters the more it erodes their social skills making it a cyclic pattern and keeping them stuck with whatever bone they can get. Becoming more jaded, more cynical, more unhappy, and more frustrated.

For some, it's just fun. Sounds like it is just fun for you so why worry?







All of that is so true in my experience. While I was still searching for someone I wanted a relationship with, I chatted to, and met, so many men who were so desperate for the sex side of their kink needs to be fulfilled that they were prepared to go with anyone, and any sex. It sort of shocked me in a way, but because it was so common, I soon found I was only feeling pity for these people.
I'm sure there are probably women out there who are like this as well, as I doubt it's just a man thing.
I do find it sad that so many people let their kink needs take over to that extent and still refuse to go to a professional. I personally feel that if they do bottle it all up like that, it can only harm any potential relationships, which is a huge shame.

Of course, I also met and chatted to many men who were perfectly happy waiting for the right person to share their life with, and it was always refreshing to be reminded of that during my search.


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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 7:05:18 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:


What I've noticed is a large amount of socially inept men who are desperate for kink encounters will get so discouraged seeking for what they want that they will settle for anything at all, as long as it feeds their fetish. Even someone of the same sex. I see it quite a bit with sub men who want their fetish and don't care who gives it to them, which is why they are so frequently rebuffed by women.

So is it common? No. Not so much.

Is it common among those that are desperate or just plain tired of looking for what they really want and being consistently rejected? Yes.

It's not kinky. It's not taboo. It's not a compromise. It's just people who want sex more than they want to take the time to develop as a person and be attractive to the opposite sex and figure they will take advantage of the plethora of those in the same situation.


While I agree with your arguement, its when a man is servicing a man that grey line of "am I bi" comes into play. The group of "sexual outcasts" is big enough to make porn a multi-billion dollar industry & needed enough to keep proatitution an occupation. Honestly if hookers weren't making money they'd be doing something (or someone) else.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 7:05:44 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

I don't know about how common it is. I do think that most people willing to have sex-only encounters with either gender probably don't consider themselves entirely straight, and that most people who do consider themselves straight don't have sex-only encounters with people of the same gender. It comes down to the words you use and who am I to question the label you pick for yourself?

At the end of the day language has limits and all we can do is pick the option we feel fits us best, whatever our reasoning.

I'm kind of the opposite in that I have no desire for casual sex with a woman but would consider one for a relationship and have been in a relationship with a woman before. I think I am only a tiny bit bi so if there isn't also an emotional attachment and connection there, I don't have any desire for sex with a woman. I could imagine myself having casual sex with a guy without any emotional attachment because in general, male bodies do it for me. I'm married and monogamous though, so it's all theory for me.

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 7:07:20 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~

If you are engaging in sexual activity with people who are both male and female, and you are enjoying/turned on by it, you are bisexual. You are most certainly not straight. However, you may fall into the "heteroflexible" subcategory of bisexuality, meaning you are more interested in opposite sex partners but are willing to consider same sex partners under the right circumstances.

To answer your question of whether or not it's common for straight people to engage in sexual activity with same sex partners, the answer is, rather obviously IMO, no. There are some people who will engage in homosexual activities as an act of submission to their dominant partners, but they are not turned on by that activity and would not seek it out of their own accord. They do it for the dominant's pleasure rather than for their own. However, I would not call this "common."

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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 7:22:46 AM   
flyhumbleguy


Posts: 162
Joined: 6/23/2011
Status: offline 		You're clearly not 100% straight or you wouldn't be getting wood as another guy is puffing on your cigar. Maybe you have a prison fantasy and the dominance aspect gets you off? I get off on the fantasy of my girlfriend getting banged like a whore and rubbing her stretched, cum-filled pussy on my face. I also like the idea of forced bi. Guys faces or overall bodies don't get me off so much but pictures of some cocks do every once in a blue moon...nowhere near the frequency with which pussies stir me and certainly a girl's overall body or pretty face and arouse easily as well. I might consider it from a energy dominance, power exchange perspective as opposed to being too hung up on how to label yourself exactly.

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