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RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 7:46:27 AM

E2Sweet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

...I was more curious as to whether this is a common thing, for people to explore both sexes on a physical level while being content with just the one on an emotional relationship, "falling in love" kind of way...

I suppose there are people out there who decide this is the way they want to explore their sexuality. Is it common? I dunno about that.

My question would be: What is the goal of exploring those of one sex with both the body and the heart, but only allowing yourself to explore the other gender with your body? Why not go in to exploring both sexes and not hold anything back so you can allow yourself to potentially get more out of the connections you make?

Usually, we as humans hold back to protect our heart from what we perceive as something bad happening to it. The other common reason is because we are to broken internally to offer someone else anything but a body in terms of a connection.

Me personally... I refuse to become entangled with someone unless my heart is in it. I don't do well at all with superficial connections (just sex). I hate the way it feels to me, and I hate the way it makes me feel. But that's just me. Your mileage may vary...

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Post #: 21

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 9:18:21 AM

absolutchocolat

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i'm with lilly. "heteroflexible" is what i'd call you, but being bi isn't the most terrible thing in the world. in fact, i think we get the best of both worlds :)

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Post #: 22

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 9:58:33 AM

MariaB

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Interesting question. I just hope the op hasn't backed off because of SB's over reaction.
I think its fairly common in the BDSM and spanking fraternity, but only for men with men. When it comes to straight males finding a BDSM partner/playmate, their hunting ground will start with the girls but if they don't find a girl and they may not for many years, some will start looking at transvestites (I mean, is going with a transvestite bi/gay?) and some will find another male.
If they consider this a compromise does this still make them gay/bi? I think that depends on the individual and the enjoyment of 'said experience'.

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Post #: 23

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:09:01 AM

littlewonder

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Can't say I've ever been attracted to other women, whether drunk or not and I don't compromise when it comes to having sex or a relationship. I'm just not that desperate and never have been. Sounds really weird to me and I would look at someone like that and tell them to find a hobby or just admit that they are bi.

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Post #: 24

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:21:44 AM

anniezz338

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quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

Interesting responses... Mostly ;-)

Maybe my title was misleading, I wasn't looking for diagnosis as to whether I'm straight or bi or gay, I'm comfortable where I am and I believe everyone is on the sliding scale somewhere. The reason I say I consider myself straight is because I believe I'm closer to that end of the scale, and society requires me to pick one of three options.

I was more curious as to whether this is a common thing, for people to explore both sexes on a physical level while being content with just the one on an emotional relationship, "falling in love" kind of way.

enough to know where I stand, but nobody knows what might be going on dFor all I know, maybe I am gay, and I just haven't met the right guy. Never say never. I'm just reasonably confident that I'm sexually and emotionally experienced eep down. A closed mind is a dangerous thing! :-)

The bolded part above screamed bi or gay to me. Or you are totally submissive to your dick.

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Post #: 25

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:34:13 AM

kitkat105

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Enjoy your future STDs.

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Post #: 26

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:39:56 AM

farquad

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OK, I haven't even read half of the above, it seems this post generated a lot of hate. It was only intended to be a point of discussion, sheesh. I thought I was entitled to my opinions but since I seem to have upset or offended people with them I shall keep off the forums from now on. Enjoy yourselves.

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Post #: 27

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:44:54 AM

absolutchocolat

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some were nice! it's sad that you won't stick around to hash it out with everyone. oh well.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 11/2/2012 10:45:46 AM >

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Post #: 28

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:46:48 AM

anniezz338

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Joined: 8/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: farquad

OK, I haven't even read half of the above, it seems this post generated a lot of hate. It was only intended to be a point of discussion, sheesh. I thought I was entitled to my opinions but since I seem to have upset or offended people with them I shall keep off the forums from now on. Enjoy yourselves.

This was the nice crowd...wait until this evening. But seriously, i thought you got some pretty insightful replies. As always, take what you need and leave the rest.

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Post #: 29

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 10:57:07 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Interesting question. I just hope the op hasn't backed off because of SB's over reaction.
I think its fairly common in the BDSM and spanking fraternity, but only for men with men. When it comes to straight males finding a BDSM partner/playmate, their hunting ground will start with the girls but if they don't find a girl and they may not for many years, some will start looking at transvestites (I mean, is going with a transvestite bi/gay?) and some will find another male.
If they consider this a compromise does this still make them gay/bi? I think that depends on the individual and the enjoyment of 'said experience'.

Overwhelmingly the poster agree with me that the guy is not "straight" so I really don't know where you get off saying it's "fairly common" I've never heard anyone say to me ... you know I just can't find a girl hang out with ...I going to find me a guy.

I did a quick search gays as a percent of the population 4 to 8% depending on who's numbers you want to use. Don't know about you, but to my mind 8 percent of anything is not common.

P.S. While writing this I noticed that the OP is not going to stick around and discuss his post due to some ppl "hate" his word not mine. If I came across to you as a hater I assure you that was not my intent. I think you are in denial regarding your sexuality.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 11/2/2012 11:24:22 AM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 11:31:59 AM

LadyPact

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Whether the OP comes back or not is inconsequential.

Yes, OP. You are bi. The last good thread that we had on bisexuality allowed Me to learn a new term. That term is bi-amorous. It seems to Me that bisexual relates to sexual activities and biamory would be emotional/loving relationships with both genders. Frankly, if you're a guy and the cock is turning you on or getting sucked off by the same gender is something you openly peruse, that's bisexual. I tend to save the term heteroflexible for those situations where it is a sexual act that is done due to an outside influence.

This thread seems to be all about wanting/hoping that lots of other folks do this, too. Not only are you asking if it's common for guys to find other guys to have sex with just because no female can be found, you're also throwing out that "everybody is a little bit bi" banner. That's usually a sign that you aren't terribly comfortable with other people thinking you're bi or you wouldn't need to feel like we must all be lumped into that category. Attempting to say everyone is bi is like saying everyone is either gay or straight. The zeros and sixes on the Kinsey scale really do exist.

I happen to be one of those folks. Pussy doesn't turn Me on. (In fact, I'm probably the first person to bitch when somebody is using their twat as an avatar.) I've never had a desire to receive oral sex or even manual manipulation from a woman so that I could get off. I don't even consider Myself heteroflexible because if somebody's outside influence wanted Me to engage in sexual activity with another woman, I'd tell them to fuck off right before I left them.

I know it's harder for some men to accept their bisexuality, but I can't possibly see this as anything else. I do have to kind of laugh because nobody blinks an eye to say the guy *giving* the blow job of his own free will and desire is bi. The guy receiving it isn't any different.

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Post #: 31

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 11:35:41 AM

needlesandpins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

SB!
Those men are only sucking his dick and asshole...
What's gay about that?? People are so homophobic
I sware!

Look all the guys saying they are straight while
doing this stuff or getting fucked up the ass or
whatever, are really just ridiculous to me.

Well let's think about this. I guess what makes it gay...might be the fact that he is doing it with another man. I'm just guessing that is the def of gay, same gender sex.

To your second point. I'm sure guys take it up the ass daily, The only way it would be considered gay is doing it with the same sex. Are you getting the picture?

BadOne

that really does make you sound like an ignorant idiot. i'd say closed mind fits you very well.

ETA you do know that sexuality isn't just about being gay or straight don't you? i mean you are fully awear of the fact that we are in the 21stc and we do now admit that people are not always vanilla, straight, or gay. only i have seen you post like this before and you are always fixated on the fact that if someone gets their rocks off with the same sex they have to be gay.

does this mean that if he fucks around with a guy he's gay, but if he fucks around with a girl he suddenly turns straight?

needles

< Message edited by needlesandpins -- 11/2/2012 11:44:49 AM >

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Post #: 32

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 11:58:53 AM

needlesandpins

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fr

op we have this question pop up in various guises all the time.

i'm always amazed at those who claim that you have to be bi because you had sex with a guy even though you don't find the guys attractive emotionally at all. yet they will admit that they have taken part in 'forced bi' for their partner's turn on, but they are not bi in any way shape or form. they protest too much imo. if you really were straight then sex of any sort with the same gender would be a hard limit that your partner would respect. so on that score i call bullshit.

as far as i am concerned you are whatever you say you are. i've had this debate before in other threads. most people are of the opinion that if you do anything at all with the oposite sex you have to be bi, even if you are not physically/emotionally attracted to them. i personally believe that you can use anything to get your rocks off and still be straight. involve attraction on an emotional level then i'd say bi. some people seem to forget that sexuality is far more than the gender you fuck.

i think more people are open about what they want as it's not seen as such a taboo anymore. the shear fact that we now have new words to 'lable' people with proves that people arn't automatically bi just because they have sex on any level with the same sex.

needles

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Post #: 33

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 12:27:58 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Well let's think about this. I guess what makes it gay...might be the fact that he is doing it with another man. I'm just guessing that is the def of gay, same gender sex.

To your second point. I'm sure guys take it up the ass daily, The only way it would be considered gay is doing it with the same sex. Are you getting the picture?

BadOne

that really does make you sound like an ignorant idiot. i'd say closed mind fits you very well.

ETA you do know that sexuality isn't just about being gay or straight don't you? i mean you are fully awear of the fact that we are in the 21stc and we do now admit that people are not always vanilla, straight, or gay. only i have seen you post like this before and you are always fixated on the fact that if someone gets their rocks off with the same sex they have to be gay.

does this mean that if he fucks around with a guy he's gay, but if he fucks around with a girl he suddenly turns straight?

needles

Oh boy yet another person who doesn't agree with me that resorts to name calling. I will gladly compare brain pans with you. Along with educational level. Wayne State University Double major Business, Aerospace. From there I went to University of Michigan MBA and then off to Brown for my PHD Magna Cum Laude. I did all of that before I was 35 years old.

If you like I can send you my resume outlining the committees that I sit on both volunteer and paid positions. My point. Your view happens to be the minority opinion.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 11/2/2012 12:29:59 PM >

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Post #: 34

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 12:57:05 PM

chatterbox24

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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This is the way I think, lol, and Im not sure it will go over well, but I will write anyway. We all have these thought processes, and where I came up thinking this way I really dont know but I will share it.

Im strictly heterosexual, not a lesbian bone in my body. I can admire another woman, but I have never had a sexual urge toward a woman. Not even if drunk. The thought of being with another woman repulses me, the thought of pleasing a man anally also repulses.

Heres where the thought process comes in. I think a man who likes anal penetration and says he is strictly hetero, well I dont believe it. He may never act on his secret desire, but I think if a man wants anal penetration, they have something they havent admitted to themselves.
THe woman who routinely performs this mans desire, if she says she is strictly hetero, I dont believe her either, if she enjoys the act, she is hiding something too. If she is forced into it so to speak, just doing it simply out of pleasing the man but doesnt enjoy it. I think she might be hetero still. But it doesnt apply to a man, if a man says he is just pleasing a woman by letting her do anal penetration on him, I dont believe him!!! I think he has bi tendencies! lol
I didnt say that to piss anyone off, I just believe that 100%.

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Post #: 35

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 1:31:36 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Well let's think about this. I guess what makes it gay...might be the fact that he is doing it with another man. I'm just guessing that is the def of gay, same gender sex.

To your second point. I'm sure guys take it up the ass daily, The only way it would be considered gay is doing it with the same sex. Are you getting the picture?

BadOne

that really does make you sound like an ignorant idiot. i'd say closed mind fits you very well.

ETA you do know that sexuality isn't just about being gay or straight don't you? i mean you are fully awear of the fact that we are in the 21stc and we do now admit that people are not always vanilla, straight, or gay. only i have seen you post like this before and you are always fixated on the fact that if someone gets their rocks off with the same sex they have to be gay.

does this mean that if he fucks around with a guy he's gay, but if he fucks around with a girl he suddenly turns straight?

needles

Oh boy yet another person who doesn't agree with me that resorts to name calling. I will gladly compare brain pans with you. Along with educational level. Wayne State University Double major Business, Aerospace. From there I went to University of Michigan MBA and then off to Brown for my PHD Magna Cum Laude. I did all of that before I was 35 years old.

If you like I can send you my resume outlining the committees that I sit on both volunteer and paid positions. My point. Your view happens to be the minority opinion.

BadOne

some of the most intelligent people around are idiotic in their thoughts. your state of education, qi score, or anything else you want to throw at it doesn't stop you sounding like an ignorant idiot.

catch up, there are more than two sexualities. your blinkered view doesn't change that. next you'll be spouting that gays can be cured

needles

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Post #: 36

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 1:37:46 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

This is the way I think, lol, and Im not sure it will go over well, but I will write anyway. We all have these thought processes, and where I came up thinking this way I really dont know but I will share it.

Im strictly heterosexual, not a lesbian bone in my body. I can admire another woman, but I have never had a sexual urge toward a woman. Not even if drunk. The thought of being with another woman repulses me, the thought of pleasing a man anally also repulses.

Heres where the thought process comes in. I think a man who likes anal penetration and says he is strictly hetero, well I dont believe it. He may never act on his secret desire, but I think if a man wants anal penetration, they have something they havent admitted to themselves.
THe woman who routinely performs this mans desire, if she says she is strictly hetero, I dont believe her either, if she enjoys the act, she is hiding something too. If she is forced into it so to speak, just doing it simply out of pleasing the man but doesnt enjoy it. I think she might be hetero still. But it doesnt apply to a man, if a man says he is just pleasing a woman by letting her do anal penetration on him, I dont believe him!!! I think he has bi tendencies! lol
I didnt say that to piss anyone off, I just believe that 100%.

so you have no idea how a guy's body is designed then eh?

your comment is as silly as saying that if a woman likes her nipples played with it's because she wishes it was a woman doing it, or wanted to do that to a woman, therefore she is bi.

you do understand that BOTH sexes enjoy anal don't you? sssooooooo how does your theory work for women who enjoy anal, even though they don't have a postate gland for extra pleasure like a guy.

needles

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Post #: 37

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 1:43:31 PM

Hillwilliam

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To those who think that if a man likes anal stimulation, he's bi and/or sub.

Trust me on this one folks. The combination of a skilled fellatrix and a well lubed finger massaging the prostate will make you feel like you're losing bone marrow when you get off.

If I happen to have a foot of her hair wrapped around my right hand and throatfucking her till there's a nice mixture of mucous and mascara dripping down my thighs during the process, I ain't exactly being sub either.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 11/2/2012 1:49:10 PM >

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Post #: 38

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 1:54:53 PM

chatterbox24

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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THats what I am saying, I knew it wouldnt go over well. Its just a very primitive thought of mine, that I instinctually believe. Maybe it is silly. And it is just my own personal theory, I dont expect anyone else to go with it.

I believe sexual penetration is feminine, a very feminine trait. Strictly hetero women crave it, its natural. THey desire it to be performed on them, not to indulge in the act themselves.
I believe strictly hetero men desire to be the penetraters, that is natural, they do not want it performed on them.

I know right? A weird theory. BUt it is mine, and I believe it.

I do know how the male body works, I just dont want a man who needs to work that way. lol.

Just one of those things, I'm not bashing or criticizing, just sharing.

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Post #: 39

RE: Sexuality - straight or bi? - 11/2/2012 1:59:18 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

i'm with the rooster...a finger, fist, dildo, plug, penis or whatever you put in your orifices doesn't make one gay or bi.

ETA: sexuality, i think, is based more on how one relates to another human sexually rather that sticking what thing where. my two cents.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 11/2/2012 2:02:16 PM >

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Post #: 40

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