LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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This one is going to take a while.
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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Good punctuation and grammar will never be out of fashion.
People can make the decision to use incorrect grammar in a public message board like this one in favor of their own protocol. There are no rules anyway. Most people "get it" when they read it, and know what it means. People aren't offended, no one really cares, no one needs an explanation, it's just accepted. Not everyone will agree with the reasons why. And yet, here we are again.
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My personal opinion is that the possible negatives do outweigh the positives. We send mixed messages to the "newbies" the come here who we tell "this is just a place for conversation," yet there are people who are in a sense "active roleplaying" their roles by using honorifics in the way they refer to themselves. If someone can use slashy speak to talk about themselves, why can't joe new sub start his posts with "curtsies to all" without getting flamed for roleplaying with a group of unwilling strangers? Or laughed out of the building?
Because My dynamic, or any extension of it, is not role playing.
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Will new subs think this is the way they should write? Or that way? Is this the reason a total stranger is writing to me, referring to me as "You" instead of 'you' (I prefer proper grammar and punctuation and no protocol unless I'm in a relationship with someone.)
Do you mean the way the grammar brigade likes to tell people how wrong they are for choosing their own personal expression? There's more than enough bitching about the way people chose to write.
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If this forum "conversation" was - instead - a "munch" (not a play party) - would we be forced to listen to people talk in third person because "that's the way they communicate all the time" (including at work and at home and with friends? I find that hard to believe). Have you ever met Merc and beth? I'll be more than happy to confirm that, yes, her third person speech is ALL OF THE TIME. It's not for events. It's not for parties. She is not permitted by Merc to have personal pronouns for herself. I'll give you the part about she doesn't work, so there is no conflict there. It's not a show. That's the way they live.
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I come here for conversation about BDSM, not roleplaying. I get that a lot of the protocols developed out of BBSes, chatrooms, etc. I can understand some subs may have rules they have to follow online, but I wish their dominants would tell them to follow the protocol that is respected by a group. I can't get my head around dominants that need to capitalize their own personal pronouns. Why reinforce bad grammar to a bunch of youthful people reading message boards, or confuse protocol for newbies who come here and then think this is a roleplaying discussion group. I used to have a signature line that would have been very appropriate for this comment.
"I appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
To play devil's advocate, one could argue that this message board is not a "play space," and when people use their grammar kinks and special pronouns if this is their protocol, they are doing it in front of a group that does not wish to engage in their play. If you want to go down that route of argument. I didn't sign up here to "watch" people get their jollies by making me painfully watch their grammatically incorrect keystrokes (I am being sarcastic here).
Sarcasm or not, there's a hide button for that.
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
If you take me out of the equation though, and any of us (because as regular readers of collarchat, we all know what is going on), and instead focus on casual readers, or first time readers, or "outsiders", think about their perception. Think about the people that we may want to attract to stay in this group, to grow this group. Sure, you may say "well screw them if they have a stick up their ass and are judgmental over something as silly as protocol."
This one is easy. My dynamic is a higher priority than anything that happens on this site. Considering that priority vrs reader perception, My dynamic and My own submissive win out every single time.
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Just as you may say the same of a quiet couple who attends a public munch for the first time as an observer and does not say much but chooses not to attend again because they thought it was going to be free of ritual and roleplay but found some of the people talking "in role" to be a bit....odd. Like they couldn't quite feel comfortable enough to have a normal conversation. So it's their problem, right? Sure, it is. They can choose to walk out the door and never come back. No skin off our back. Yes, it really is. I would expect them to do whatever is more important to themselves and their relationship first, just like I do.
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At some point though you are just skewing the lines between saying, "This is a place for non roleplay, no bdsm, no protocol (oh, except for them, they just do it because they learned that way, they don't MEAN anything by it)" and outright roleplaying, because of *how it is perceived by others*. You're missing something. When we go to a munch, and the munch must be vanilla atmosphere, we accommodate the venue. At a non-kink munch, clip sits in a chair at the table, rather than here at My feet like he does at home, ANY event where it is acceptable policy, and in the homes of friends, family, etc.
Now, I've read TOS. Quite thoroughly, in fact. There is not one word in there about it being a rule where it is not acceptable. There is a mention in the forum guidelines about the text being legible, regarding use of color and font. For the Gorean board only, there is a line in their guidelines about no role play. (As I said already, My dynamic isn't role play.) That means, according to the site, who is the ultimate authority in the matter, I'm doing just fine. The day you get them to change the rule, I'll comply.
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Some people may come into a forum like this and the minute they see regular posters doing the Y/i thing in normal posts go "oh it's just a bunch of online roleplayers". Oh well, their loss, don't let the door hit them on the way out!
Akasha
In all seriousness, yes. I am not willing to alter what happens on an opinion that some random stranger *might* form. No person who wanders onto this forum is more important than My own household.
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I thought that munches (and to use the analogy here - a place like a discussion forum, like collar chat, here, vs. a 'roleplaying forum') is a place not for BDSM play, but for normal interaction? There should be no activity to 'curb.' The analogy I would use is that people would behave in this public space the same they would at their job and among their families and with people they do not know, as to not infringe their roles upon people in a way that would require them to explain.
Ah, so every D/s couple should drop their authority dynamic between them when walking into a munch? Good luck with that one. Exactly which part do you attribute authority transfer to bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism?
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Using that analogy, you could say that it's fine that people who use their Me/me and You/you protocol on "discussion" areas like here (a non roleplaying area open to the public where we are open to perception) could do so if that's the same way they communicate to their co-workers, bosses, friends, families, and strangers. I think not. I'm not really sure how you would emphasize a capitol M verbally, so you'll have to clue Me in on what that means. I'd be really surprised if people thought I spoke differently anywhere else than here.
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Again, it's not what the collective "we" think of it (we already all 'get it," we're kinksters, we know the meaning behind it) it's the skewed perception it gives others who come here for the first time and are deciding if they want to communicate in our group. If the collar chat forum is NOT a roleplay forum, just as a munch is not a play space, it seems to me that slashy speak, as a form of play protocol (since it's NOT used in every day communication to co workers, etc) is not appropriate and sends the message that this is also a "play space." I am not playing with any of you nor do I expect you to play with me when we're discussing BDSM topics.
Akasha
Again, there is the hide button. This isn't a popularity contest regarding the way people write and what the majority think is the "proper" way. In all truth, I don't give a shit what the majority thinks about what they don't approve of as far as My household is concerned.
For the most part, there's not a kinky person on these boards who is willing to give up what they have/want just because the majority of people (vanilla) don't like or approve of what they are doing. I find this to be just another one on the plate.
The flipping quotes on this thing were more trouble than they were worth, but I've got just one thing more. Every Dominant should have the authority to make the final decision on what (if any) protocols that will be used for any setting that you find yourselves in. Making the decision as to what is best for your dynamic is a part of what being a Dominant is about. I think most Dominants have the respect not to try to infringe their preferences on other people's dynamics or the way they choose to express themselves in any way connected with the lifestyle. Frankly, I don't care how many words get typed up about it. As long as the authority is Mine, I will use it as I see fit.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Capitalization of personal pronouns - 
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