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RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 10:14:36 AM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you, LP (if you don't mind the abbreviation there).

I've wondered about it in reverse as well. It is good to know that the "forced bi" angle isn't something solely foisted on male Doms by male subs. And, for what it is worth, I'm on the same page with you. When I hear "I'm straight but want to be forced to have sex with a guy," I lose interest. They are either liars or are using me to fulfill some humiliation fantasy they have. I don't play that way.

Thanks for the warm welcome as well :-)

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 10:40:10 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You are very welcome and please do feel free to call Me "LP". Darn near everybody does. If it's good enough to mark My boy with, I'm pretty sure I'll answer to it.

Yes, we females hear it all of the time. Pretty much for the same reason. It can be disappointing and frustrating. I just try to remember that not everybody thinks of the situation the way I do.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 10:51:07 AM   
justacleaner


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/11/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

I'm not sure how prevalent this is, or if anyone will have any insight in to it for me, but I've had a rash of straight male subs contacting me recently. My profile very clearly identifies me as gay. It also clearly states that I am looking for a relationship with a sub, not just a sexual fling or one-time scene.

Usually, the conversations take this format (the sub in bold, me in italics):

I would love to be your slave.

Thank you for the interest, but your profile lists you as straight. So, why the interest in being with a gay Dom?

I am straight, but serving a guy is a turn-on.

From that point, the conversation either devolves in to them saying that they don't like men, but being humiliated by "forced bi" (I hate that term) is a turn-on, or that they are secretly gay (and usually married) and want a Dom to give them what their wives won't.

I don't get it. I'm sure many of the D-types on CM, male or female, can go on rants about married subs on here to get their rocks off behind their wife's back. That part, as much as I detest it, I am at least familiar with. But, can someone explain to me why a sub would think that I, as a gay man, would want to have them serve me, be in a relationship with me, when I know that they are only with me because they find it humiliating?

Am I missing something? The very notion that I would want that is insulting. I refuse to be someone's object of humiliation. Doe anyone have any insight in to this? Is this a common thing that I've just never encountered before?


I think, and this is only my opinion, that being submissive is ingrained into some men and women's DNA, and with others It's more just a fetish, a fantasy. Something to pass the time on a wet afternoon. Others like myself are submissive because that's the way god or evolution made us. Charles Dickens once said "Not all men want to be masters" and in reality that's very true. I like lots of men prefer to be guided by others, men, women, gay or straight makes no difference, Why? Because submission does not have to be sexually motivated. I have no trouble submitting to other men, or anyone else, in fact it's a part of our everyday lives, no one can be 100% sub or 100% Dom'me all of the time.

However I still wouldn't want to submit sexually to a man? although I do fantasize about it, being forced by a women to service her man,, but fantasy is just that, and I'll bet that if you offered to meet any of these men very few if any would actually turn up..

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 11:06:08 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		The one word that comes to my mind when I hear "Im interested in bisexuality BUT Im totally straight" is denial. And we're not talking about the river flowing through Egypt Happens usually every time without fail too. Even though I try my hardest not to make any sort of judgments about anyone else's kinks, I just honestly cant help it when it comes to this.

Someone else earlier on said what I was thinking. Some people spend so much of their life trying to hide from who they might be deep down in places they dont like to talk about. Some are just so ingrained with their own feelings of shame and guilt associated in any sort of more intimate contact with a member of their own gender that the thought of being "forced" to do it somehow alleviates the responsibility of ownership for one's own decisions. "Im not doing this on my own, Im being forced to do it by someone else" is an awfully easy cop out IMHO.

To the OP, Im glad that you have the outlook you have on this. I personally wouldnt have any sort of interest in someone who was only using me the way the person you spoke of sounds like he was doing in regards to you. Ive experienced this phenomenon myself, but its always seems to have come from males. I dont think Ive ever had a female talk about "forced bi" with either me or my male partner. I cant recall ever hearing a female expressing bisexual leanings coupled with qualifying her heterosexuality

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 11:06:48 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		OP, I think you are getting a lot of straight men because they think that is you in your avatar.

It is hot for sure. And I am a straight sub female!

Welcome!

(in reply to justacleaner)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 1:29:12 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You are very welcome and please do feel free to call Me "LP". Darn near everybody does. If it's good enough to mark My boy with, I'm pretty sure I'll answer to it.

Yes, we females hear it all of the time. Pretty much for the same reason. It can be disappointing and frustrating. I just try to remember that not everybody thinks of the situation the way I do.




And on the reverse side, I had a few guys who wanted to "experiment" with another man and decided I was the one. ~snort~

My days of being another's booty call or FWB are over and done with. I may be piggie at times but it is on my terms.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 2:32:11 PM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you, everyone, for your responses. I really think that you are all on the right track here - that these guys look at being with another guy as a fetish that they can indulge in from time to time, but don't want to have to take ownership of the feelings they have, and thus alleviate themselves of responsibility by saying it is "forced."

It was great to get some feedback. Thank you all!

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 3:14:05 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Tbh I have a bit of a curiosity about forced bi, I find it more as a test of submission though than any sexual thrill, my limited experience is that it sends me very subspacey very quick, and not at all horny.

(I do agree with the op however in that the people messaging weren't thinking straight (pardon the pun), and wonder if they had even read the profile)

Part of me wonders if gay subs ever have forced straight fantasies...

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 4:54:10 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee
But isn't that very close to "topping from the bottom", so to speak? If you're using a dom's influence just to because you get off on the idea of your own fantasy, are you not just using them? That seems very contradictory to being a submissive in the first place... But I guess it depends on their desires, rather than what might or might not be in bounds of what a sub should do.

Considering how many people classify my lifestyle as wrong I'm not very eager to turn around and do the same to others simply because I don't share their kinks. Some doms are looking for a service oriented partner, others really want a brat. I don't think there are some twue bounds of what a sub should do. So long as the relationship is working for the people in it, I think they're doing it right.

People on here are usually looking to satisfy their kinks. That's kind of the point in finding a kinky partner instead of a vanilla one, that your kinks complete each other. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a guy into "forced bi" trying to find a gay master who's into rape role playing for a casual encounter.

The only thing I see that I'm willing to judge as asshatty is the forced-bi guys spamming Sebastian who's clearly not into that.

(in reply to Nelee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 5:27:36 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

There are many people who consider themselves 'submissive' but would only be willing to submit to a very specific fantasy situation of their choosing. A strong argument could be made that 'submissive' might not be the right word for them, since submission generally involves carrying out the will of the dominant


Athena you are right here... I am one of those. I am looking for a situation to please me. There is nothing wrong with this in my opinion as long as my needs match the person I am interacting with and I am up front about it. In fact i think I am more honest with myself then most who really feel the same but put a different face on it.

I have been approached by many men and don't mind telling them what I want...If they agree fine if not nothing lost.

As far as the op is concerned perhaps these men are not looking for sex. I have had a casual relationship with two men. No sex involved. They were perfectly happy to stick with the measured application of the non sex scenes I desired. They liked it...I liked it. It could be some want this type of relationship.

I don't approach men at all... they approach me so I don't worry about being rejected...but If I needed a man for a non-sexual scene I desired, and not gay, and was worried about the straight males reaction to another male... then I could see where approaching a gay male would be easier. If that long sentence makes sense.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 5:46:04 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Think I do see a franchise opportunity here though:
Welcome to Dommes R-us can I take your order?
A spank-me burger, forced bi & a large flogging? I'm sorry we're out of floggers, would you like a single tail with a cherry on top...we could add a CBT on the side free?
OK? Pllease drive thru

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

I know have an image of me leaning through a drive-thru window to hand a straight guy a Diet Coke, some fries, and a butt plug for him to shove up his ass!



_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 6:39:26 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian
When I hear "I'm straight but want to be forced to have sex with a guy," I lose interest. They are either liars or are using me to fulfill some humiliation fantasy they have. I don't play that way.

IT sounds like you should lose interest, that's not what you're looking for.

However, I want to put out another possible option besides liar and humiliation fantasy for checking the straight box. My girl checked the straight box yet she's kissed a girl and she's liked it.

Some people are of the understanding that straight means 100% heterosexual, gay is 100% homosexual and bi is everything in between.

She was under the impression that straight meant 100% heterosexual, gay is 100% homosexual and bi is 50/50. So being mostly heterosexual she picked the closest option to what she is.

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 6:56:51 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

It's because submission to them is just about sex. They're thinking about their wants and needs, not yours.

Not to stand up for these guys (and believe me, I get plenty "I just want to be forced to do X, Y, or Z") but I don't think they're trying to be insulting, they just don't get it because they're too busy fapping away to realize that what they're doing is offensive.

I second that. Many so-called submissives (whether they are or aren't is not My point) are just thinking of their OWN wants and needs, and not at all considering that being a submissive means YIELDING to another's wants and needs (and in many cases, the Dominant's wants and needs don't even INVOLVE sex).

BTW, nice sound effect Allison, @ "fapping", made Me laugh.

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:04:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		They do it because they can't admit to themselves or society that they are either gay or bi. so instead they do this but continue to say they are straight to try and convince themselves they are even though they are not.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:07:56 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Tell Me that you're straight and the first kink out of your mouth that you want is forced bi and I call bullshit. That's just a person looking for a catalyst for what they want to do and live out their fantasy doing it. That's also the easiest way for Me to lose interest in anybody because they are not being honest in some way. Either to Me or to themselves.

I am sorry this is happening so often. Unfortunately, it's part and parcel here.


I totally agree with you LadyPact.

There is something "creepy" to ME, about men on here asking/and requesting people to "force them" into bisexual activities.


< Message edited by Marini -- 11/15/2012 7:10:14 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:09:59 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub


As far as the op is concerned perhaps these men are not looking for sex. I have had a casual relationship with two men. No sex involved. They were perfectly happy to stick with the measured application of the non sex scenes I desired. They liked it...I liked it. It could be some want this type of relationship.


Butch

Could be. I have no shortage of subs contacting Me for D/s and look at My damn profile, it's as boring and NON-sexy as I could make it. Most of them ask Me to be their keyholder so they can be locked in a "cage", so they CAN'T have sex.

You could certainly turn it around on them, keep them "locked" and tell them they aren't WORTHY of having sex with. That is, if it's HUMILIATION they are after, give it to them but on your OWN terms. Put them to work cleaning house.

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:12:11 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I haven't read every thing, but wanted to give one perspective I was presented with:

I'm bi..and am oriented primarily towards women. It takes an exceptional man to get my attention...and I've found that man. I have very little interest in men and even less in a male submissive.

But, I've been approached by a number of male submissives who find that attractive because they know they will never get sexual satisfaction with me. If they were in my life at all it would be in a purely service role. (keep in mind that we bought a "fixer" last year and offering that is a dangerous proposition.)

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:12:31 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Think I do see a franchise opportunity here though:
Welcome to Dommes R-us can I take your order?
A spank-me burger, forced bi & a large flogging? I'm sorry we're out of floggers, would you like a single tail with a cherry on top...we could add a CBT on the side free?
OK? Pllease drive thru

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

I know have an image of me leaning through a drive-thru window to hand a straight guy a Diet Coke, some fries, and a butt plug for him to shove up his ass!



OMG, YES! That would make a funny T-shirt.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:14:22 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline 		The thing is, they don't want a butt plug, they want a real penis, with a man attached to it.



_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Straight subs wanting Gay Doms - 11/15/2012 7:32:04 PM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

The thing is, they don't want a butt plug, they want a real penis, with a man attached to it.



Oh, that's only available at Dom/mes-R-Us' adults-only bar, "Submit, Bitch." There we have leather-clad men and women at the bar who force a patron to lick the barstool or shine the bartender's boots before they can order a drink.

"Mistress, I ordered a whiskey. This is water from the toilet."
"Yeah, so? You think I care what you ordered? You'll drink what I give you, and you'll thank me for it."
"Yes, Mistress. Thank you for giving me a drink, Mistress."
"Good boy. Now, that'll be $7.50. Don't forget the tip jar."

I can see a whole string of these going nationwide. It would sure give Hooters a run for their money!

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to Marini)
Profile   Post #: 40
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